Misericordia University - Yearbook (Dallas, PA)

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20 ea OT cenit cena A Villainess Among us! Ah, yes I remember it well! Pignapped! Miss Piggy Muppet disappears from college office By WALLY KOCHER Staff Correspondent The place is the office of the Director of Cam- pus Ministries at College Misericordia. The day is Monday, Feb. 22. A crime is about to take place. But, it isn’t a robbery and it isn’t vandalism. Its a PIGNAPPING! That's right, a pignapping. A sleek dark figure enters the room, makes sure no one is around, and quickly nabs the pig. Now, this pig isn’t your average porker. This pig is a Miss Piggy Muppet belonging to Sister Marie Noel Keller, Director of the Campus Ministry. The Muppet, which Sister Noel uses in her teachings, is also the mascot of the Campus Ministry. The Dallas Post was informed of the horren- dous crime shortly after it took place and this reporter was soon hot on the pignapper’s trail. According to Sister Noel, Miss Piggy, who has her own wardrobe of approximately 10 outfits which have been made by the nuns, knows the feelings of being held captive. “It happened before about four years ago,” said Sister Noel, brushing away a teardrop that had managed to roll down her right cheek. “I received a ransom note a few days later demanding a yellow lollipop. If | didn’t do what the pignappers said, they threatened to have the pig kicked off at Super Bowl VII.” Sister Noel paid the ransom and the pig was returned, noticeably shaken up and under obvious psychological duress, but none-the-less, in one piece “I'd be heartbroken if I ever lost her,” said Sister Noel. “I've had her for the past seven years and she’s been at Misericordia for four years.” Since the time of the pignapping, Sister Noel did several things to have the porker returned such as hanging a sign in her window, asking, “Where's the pork?” In light of the now-famous Wendy's commercial that asks, “Where's the beef?” the sign incited several shouts of laughter among Misericordia students. Sister Noel confessed that she thought the per- son who pignapped Miss Piggy last time was also responsible for this pignapping. She believed that Margie Lavinio, a student at Misericordia and a friend of hers, was the pig perpetrator. I-set out to locate the suspect. I learned that Lavinio is a senior at Misericor- dia, majoring in English and History. Those facts didn’t sound like the qualifications of a typical pignapper, but it was my only lead. Well, you can imagine how shocked | was when I contacted Ms. Lavinio and she admitted the crime. | had found my girl. When asked if the pig was alright, the culprit replied, “Oh, yes. Right now, she’s hanging from my dorm ceiling by a bandana.” It was obvious to me that Lavinio has a violent attitude toward pigs — something that may have been brought on by a tragic childhood drama. I let this thief know that The Dallas Post was on her trail and she immediately agreed to return the pig to its rightful owner. When interrogated as to her motive, Lavinio said, “It was all for the fun of it. You know — ex- tracurricular activities.” So, 10 days after the original pignapping, Lavinio took the pig down from the ceiling and returned it to Sister Noel. The women both laughed about the incident and | had the satisfaction of knowing that The Dallas Post had once again helped someone in need. Lavinio, however, is threatening that Miss Piggy will “take a walk” again before she (Lavinio) graduates — perhaps sometime in April. The ultimate goal of the pignapper is to hang the pig from either the flagpole or the cafeteria ceiling Don’t fret, Miss Piggy. As long as The Dallas Post is here, we'll keep our eyes on you!

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King’s College Campus Ministry and CM’s Co-Sponsor Godspell 19

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Ms. Easter Bunny Denmon Is greeted by an admirer 21