Milwaukee School of Engineering - EMF Yearbook (Milwaukee, WI)

Page 193 text:

Page One Hundred Eighty-seven

Page 192 text:

A « «»«« ««,« » , l ,, - » i THE 1102(0 E -X'' ' i Mr. Newell, Long John, composed an epic dedicated to Dr. Castor of Scott’s Emulsion. He headed it: “Speak to Me Sloanly.” Also, he gave us another one called: “Sam Buck, Rub It In.” While these things were screamingly funny, they were so in the nature of advertising matter that we were compelled to reject them. Mr. Olson lived up to expectations and came in on time with his contribu- tion. After several unsuccessful attempts to hypnotize the whole force, he became disgusted, left his manuscript and walked out. It was called: “The Psuper Psychology of the Psweet Patootie.” Being a married man, he should know. RAVINGS 1. Say boys, just look who’s here. Hold on, 'miff said. For on the roll his name begins with Read— To x and y and slide rule he is wed. 2. Another booster of the S. O. E. Carries the cognomen of Garret Lea; But his main thought is. “will you dance wtih me?” 3. If you would like to gamble a tenner Just send a call for one Mr. Renner, And you may bet that ten's a sure goner. 4. Have you ever heard of the man, McCoy? Take it from me he is some author boy; To him a composition means great joy. 5. Now in the back row will find Martin, Who has no need for water it is certain, Since death with acid strong, he is courtin’. 6. Also there is the hero called Pfieffer. With pretty girls he is quite a trifler. Though he can’t tell an A from a cipher. 7. Tell me. who is this stranger so nice? For Mr. Kientli has only seen him twice. “Hv that’s the algebraic fiend called Rice. 8. In class meetings one has his little say To lead the boys in the straight, narrow way. 9. We also have one called J. S. Newell, Though he always thinks it very cruel When the professor does not mean the other fool. 10. And now we have another called Demming. Who often stands right up in class to sing About the sine x squared which is s missing. 11. And now the last and least (in size you know) For if you think he is not full of go Just talk a bit of sass to Primakow. 12. But these compose only part of II-E, And if the rest you’re anxious to sec Then knock softlv at room one-fifty-three. BILL SPUOKESHAVE. Page One Hundred Eighty-six

Page 194 text:

 ’THE 1920 EMF- —„ —■ -- V ©V —-« —■— gMtea THE DOUGHNUT Reader you have probably lived some one-score years and possibly a few more. During that time you have seen many changes; many reforms have come and gone, but we still have with us the doughnut. How much longer must this miner of America’s digestion remain? Since we have a liquorless land, why not a doughnutless one? Gaze at the doughnut. What is it? Lay it on your plate. What do you see? A positive zero. Hat it. What do you sec? A negative zero? This is simple of comprehension and mentally quite easy to digest. But how about your stomach ? The only thing that can happen there is an extreme aggrava- tion. Again, how many people know how to cat the doughnut? One requires “Fresh’’ math., at least, to tackle it with any degree of safety. Suppose a left-handed man bites into the first quadrant, first; what happens? It be- comes minus. This is contrary to all laws: The epiglotts, not being pre- pared for this, will probably epiglot improperly and the man will be seized with convulsions. Again, suppose he bites between the first and fourth quadrant and this portion makes a tangent with the esophagus. What is the result? The esophagus immediately becomes a line function and extends from positive infinity to negative-. The victim will most likely attack his companions, biting viciously. There is, of course, a certain class of people who believe that ducking renders the thing harmless. True, the ducking process weakens it greatly, but it does not entirely disable it. The chief trouble lies in the fact that, in- stead of being retained as a precautionary measure, the ducking becomes a habit. This habit creeps on one until it finally becomes a passion and the addict consumes such large quantities, as to be almost fatal. It is possible that, in a spirit of extreme boldness, some venturesome youth might wager to swallow one of the accursed things in its entirety. Should he succeed, the result will be truly awful. Think of the clash of zeros and infinities, both positive and negative, which must take place. Tan- gents, cosines and secants will pierce him in all directions. Most likely there will be no trace. Kind friends will send lilies to mark the spot where he might have lain, had he but had more sense than swallow. However, if one insists upon consuming this dyspeptic viand, he should at least observe a few elementary precautions. Grasp the thing firmly and make a determined bite into either the second, third or fourth quadrant— preferably the third. Then attack the cross-sectional area, biting off but one degree at a time, and consuming the first quadrant last. This will reduce it to it’s negative state with a maximum degree of safety. There is only one thing to do! Let us rise and banish the product for all time and eat safely for aye and forever. Page One Hundred Pig ily-eig tl