Milwaukee School of Engineering - EMF Yearbook (Milwaukee, WI)

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Page One Hundred Twenty-six

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 V »AV»., TEE 11920 E NEWSPAPER CHEMISTRY There was a man in our town And lie was wondrous wise. He cracked petroleum odds and ends. With vim and enterprise. lie first cracked off some gasoline And then some heavier bodies Until lie made a full, long list Of Coal Oil Johnny’s toddies. And when lie saw what he had done With all his might and main He curled them up. and into rings He twisted every chain. Twas then the newspapers began— And that’s where chemistry Can work all sorts of miracles Most expeditiously. 'Phc papers first took up benzol. And, quoting Edison, They made phenol by synthesis. And dyestuffs, every one. Alizarine and indigo And all the coal-tar group For dyes and photochemistry They made in one fell swoop. Then starting out with toluol They made explosive stuffs To smash the foes of Uncle Sam In detonating puffs. They made a neo-gasoline For motor trucks and cars So cheap that poor old Standard Oil Was jolted full of jars. And with this neo-gasoline They ploughed the fertile fields, And then, by using radium They multiplied the yields. Of wheat, potatoes, millet, corn And rye and peas and beef; They banished want and poverty And hunger, past belief. I wish I were a chemist of The journalistic kind! I’d take and go to work and make A contract, drawn and signed, To furnish everything there is And set the world agog. And do it just as easy as A-rollin’ off a log. (Stolen.) Par e One Hundred Twenty-five

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