Milwaukee School of Engineering - EMF Yearbook (Milwaukee, WI)

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 V »AV»., TEE 11920 E NEWSPAPER CHEMISTRY There was a man in our town And lie was wondrous wise. He cracked petroleum odds and ends. With vim and enterprise. lie first cracked off some gasoline And then some heavier bodies Until lie made a full, long list Of Coal Oil Johnny’s toddies. And when lie saw what he had done With all his might and main He curled them up. and into rings He twisted every chain. Twas then the newspapers began— And that’s where chemistry Can work all sorts of miracles Most expeditiously. 'Phc papers first took up benzol. And, quoting Edison, They made phenol by synthesis. And dyestuffs, every one. Alizarine and indigo And all the coal-tar group For dyes and photochemistry They made in one fell swoop. Then starting out with toluol They made explosive stuffs To smash the foes of Uncle Sam In detonating puffs. They made a neo-gasoline For motor trucks and cars So cheap that poor old Standard Oil Was jolted full of jars. And with this neo-gasoline They ploughed the fertile fields, And then, by using radium They multiplied the yields. Of wheat, potatoes, millet, corn And rye and peas and beef; They banished want and poverty And hunger, past belief. I wish I were a chemist of The journalistic kind! I’d take and go to work and make A contract, drawn and signed, To furnish everything there is And set the world agog. And do it just as easy as A-rollin’ off a log. (Stolen.) Par e One Hundred Twenty-five

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 ---- 4 ?lKE 11920 EM ’ ’ , 's' SIMPLIFIED SPELLING If an S and an I and an O and a U With an X at the end spell Su, And an E and a Y and E spell I Prey what is a speller to do? Then if also an S and an 1 and a G And H-E-D spell side, There’s nothing much for a speller to do But to go and commit siouseyesighed. M Oh Gertrude, someone over in the Frat house has pale pink pajamas. The betting is even that he won’t last the week out. When you meet a knocker hit him where his brains ought to be and kick him where they are. 4 I “Now I lay me down to sleep In my little bunk, I hope I die before I wake And save another flunk.” THINGS WE LONG FOR. -Mil nr -rmv Page One Hundred Tiventy-four

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Page One Hundred Twenty-six