Millersville University - Touchstone Yearbook (Millersville, PA)

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CLASS HISTORY. 21 covered by insurance. To allay the undue excitement of class spirit which we were supposed not to possess, and to rescue the Middlers from further disgrace, the games between the Junior boys and Middlers and the Middler girls and Seniors were called off by the physical directors. Let me say that the Juniors, though much disappointed, yet acted with their characteristic gentlenunliness; but the nineteen-four girls! language fails me and shame crimsons my cheek at the thought of their unparalleled conduct, their expressive terms of comparison; the power and diversity of their qualitative adjectives was sufficient to cause the blush of manly shame to mantle the cheeks of their co-eds, at the thought of their own weak milksop method of stating their impressions; in fact, we noticed a distinct change for the better, soon after, in the choice of their descriptive adjectives and their adverbs of emphasis. About this same time the Juniors, desiring a slight diversion, put the Middlers through some of their circus antics; they afterwards expressed themselves as well pleased with the entertainment thus received. On Monday following our sociable the Middlers, for the first time, experienced the signal honor of taking psychology beneath our colors. We are proud to state that they became so enamored of them that they desired to retain them as their very own; but we, while they were waiting for us to kindly give them an opportunity to fulfill their wish, removed it. We too fully realized their utter unworthiness to receive and properly honor and protect a legacy so sacred and priceless. The pennant which George, Hoffman and Ruel elevated on the flagstaff with such infinite pains and fortitude, we let an ordinary workman take down. Thus did another of their ensigns meet an ignoble and sadly sudden end. This ends our successful struggle for class honor. From this time the Middlers ceased their unavailing efforts to snatch from our firm grasp the supremacy of the school. What follows pertains to ourselves. For individual brilliancy our class has been unparalleled. The poetic effusions of Salama T. B., etc., etc.; the fate of Laurence, our most highly cultured macaroni, fallen from Grace; Hullv, the bold, bad man, the slayer of the Profs and the breaker of maidens’ hearts; Jeannette, who has a marked

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20 THE HAMMER. Not long after this we had our Senior Sociable, one of the greatest occasions in the historical annals of this institution, for by it we fully established our supremacy in social, elocutionary and decorative spheres. We not only had a unique, but, I am safe in asserting, a fascinating sociable. The faculty was enchanted, the students dazzled, and the Middlers bewildered. By the superior excellence of our own artistic productions, the charming purity and classic beauty of our decorative arrangement, and novelty of entertainment, we proved ourselves as conclusively champions in the social and {esthetic field as in the athletic or intellectual. Is it necessary for me to drag down further humiliation upon their devoted heads? Theirs is indeed a tale of woe, of repeated failures and miscarried plans. How Doc and Hoflie captured (?) our class bunting will ever remain a pleasurable memory with us; with what stealthy tread Hoffman approached Doc's door; how gently his choking stage whisper sounded through the keyhole, and, alas! not only his “Yes, it will be dead easy! We will simply walk down and bring it up”—sublime faith! “But when they got there the bunting was gone, And so the poor Middlers had 110116.” The cry of anguish, those awful maledictions issuing from Doc’s enraged soul, still rings through my ears, as they discovered the direful truth that again they had been “Too late, too late, To gain anything at such a gait.” Poor boy Ross! he still is moved to painful emotions whenever he hears the strains of “Where is my wandering boy to-night?” Shall I answer the query? No, let us spare him the pain and humiliation of recalling that fateful night of cold and famine and sleepless anxiety, and we need not be informed, for that night three of our number spent a blissful night searching out the mysteries of the heavens from Rooms A and B. About this time also an extremely destructive and unlooked-for conflagration suddenly broke out in close proximity to the Gymnasium, causing extreme excitement, which did not subside for several days. The fire was supposed to be of incendiary origin, and was not

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22 THE HAMMER. leaning toward essayists and is at present engaged in making an exhaustive study of Herbert Spencer, are all familiar subjects, and extend beyond my bounds, since this is simply a history of the past. Grover Cleveland has shown a remarkable friendliness towards his rival, William Jennings Bryan. Bennie has been so unstable in his affections as to make it unwise and impracticable for me to commit myself upon that subject. Florence from Bismarck and Miss Hobach (H6bd), our latest acquisition, vie with one another in modesty and pianistic excellence, and last and most interesting and most noticeable, I pronounce the name of Janetta Wertz, who, like the widow’s barrel, never faileth, though on one occasion, tradition has it, though 1 can barely realize it, she failed—a physician was immediately summoned. In conclusion, let me say that our class meetings have ever been models of parliamentary excellence, which it would have been well for the other classes to behold. They have ever been characterized by the most perfect unity. No contention has ever marred their placid flow. They have been occasions of great social enjoyment and good will. And now, having done with levity, dear classmates, and all others, let me say in all sincerity that we have ever treated one another with all possible consideration as ladies and gentlemen; we have ever aided and encouraged one another in difficulty, and by mutual interests and ideals been drawn together in the closest bonds of truest, noblest friendship. We have been few, but we have been united and powerful. I feel safe in saying that we shall have left our impress not only upon our Alma Mater as a powerful class intellectually, and in athletics and the pursuit of the beautiful in art and melody and nature, but that we shall stand out in educational history pioneers of a noble cause; that we shall ever live in the hearts of our professors and teachers a grateful, tender memory. We have fought a good fight and won. May the future hold in store for each and all of us, after we depart from out these memory-haunted halls, as much pleasure and as rich promises of success as has the past.