Millersville University - Touchstone Yearbook (Millersville, PA)

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CLASS HISTORY. 17 with a great display of forensic fireworks and a clumsy manipulation of dangerous verbal explosion, informed us that they thought that if we would let them take about fifteen of their best men to our seven, that probably we might please the Doctor and the girls by an exhibition of our relative physical capacities and prowess. In case we deemed the struggle unequal, they would add as many more as we desired. From this dated their ignominious downfall, and the bitter humiliations heaped upon that extremely unfortunate, ill-starred organization. Naturally we were much pained by this ungrateful attitude of a supposed friend, whom we had ever cared for, nurtured and protected as a mother would a child; and now that we should trample upon and mar the beauty of those once dear to us, the thought was unbearable. As the vision rose before us of the dear little “naughty-four” boys reeking with dust intermingled with gore, their neatly smoothed hair all disheveled, and their pretty noses awry; their loving mothers in tearful anguish o’er their shattered forms; their broken-hearted sweethearts—enough, I need but say our hearts were melted and bled at the thought of the awful calamity overhanging them. Happily, according to a custom which has ever been a peculiar characteristic of “naughty-four,” they only talked. Right upon this disgrace were heaped a series of others, sadder and more ignominious. With the habitual slowness of their class, they after deep and careful consideration and due deliberation finally determined to decide upon the class colors, flower, etc. Alas, they little dreamed what they were destined to contend with! Why did they pale with anguish and sit the picture of pathetic dismay when they beheld the Senior class filing into supper, each bearing upon his breast a significant little bow of black and gold? Ah, there was moaning and gnashing of teeth in the camp of the Philistine that night! One by one they crept hollow-eyed to bed, with hearts filled with the blackness of despair, ever moaning in accents parched and hoarse the pitiful refrain, “Too slow, too slow! After this cruel stroke of fortune the Middlers’ only complaint was to the effect that the Seniors were possessed of no class spirit whatever. But they forgot that it is unwise to presume on

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16 THE HAMMER. the cute little clears of nineteen five, six and ten play with them; all joyfully shouting: “We are the class of nineteen-three!” How we loved to see them go out and play with the Seniors; only they got hurt sometimes. Considered altogether, however, their pleasure was entirely harmless, besides being highly entertaining to us, not to say instructive; for many an illustrious example of rank immaturity did we witness, illustrating some pregnant psychological truth. Again the fountains played and the soloists sang of spring. The doctor trimmed his beard for summer, and by a peculiar unconscious acquisition of dignity, especially on the part of Swopie and Laurence, we intuitively knew that some great event was fast approaching; so that we were not at all surprised to find ourselves one beautiful June morning gazing into one another’s transfigured countenances with our hearts whispering to us that we indeed were not only in spirit, but in fact, Seniors. All that summer strange portentious omens and mysterious rumorings foretold a year of prodigies; and the fates foretold aright. Amid joyful acclamations we once more embrace the threshold of the ladies’ gate. Iiow we burned to unrein the pent-up energy of our teeming brains. We felt the untold joy of Seniors as we grasped the extended palms of the Profs and met the dazzling radiance of their joyful countenances. We felt within us a power, a force, a seething vitality unfelt before. How the hostile ranks of the Model School melted before our conquering arms! How we held them in servile submission, bordering upon absolute slavery, is now the property of general history. Before two moons had filled out their horns twice with silvery light, the halls of learning echoed and re-echoed with the fame of our intellectual achievements. The most reserved and conservative members of the faculty were heard expressing their impressions concerning us in most extravagant terms of commendation. Their enthusiasm knew no bounds. So sweeping and continued were our triumphs that had not our characters been exceptionally strong and modest, our brains had surely become addled. I have now come to that which cannot help but give pain to somebody. At quite an early period the class of nineteen-four,

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18 THE HAMMER. anything when the fates are unpropitious. Full many a bitter defeat they were destined to suffer at our hands ere they realized their sad mistake. Their second undoing was in the field of athletics. The class of “nineteen-four” felt, or thought it felt, that it possessed several valuable secrets which it would be well to reveal to the Senior class, among which were the following: that they knew something about athletics; that they knew something about basket ball; that they knew very much about basket ball; that they knew more about basket ball than anybody else, including the Senior class. Such unparalleled audacity could not go unpunished. You must bear in mind that they were still young and inexperienced. inclined to foolhardy recklessness and looseness of tongue; consequently you will not be at all surprised to learn of their challenging us to a contest, and our prompt acceptance of that challenge. The great day at last was at hand. Gymnasia Hall overflowed with the rank and beauty of the school. The gong sounded; the gazing multitudes sat mute and breathless, with eyes intent upon the little Spartan band of “nineteen-three” standing with eyes and muscles alert. Suddenly the shrill whistle startled the pregnant silence—the great contest was on. Suddenly, by skillful manipulations of the ball, and partly through the extreme slowness of the Middler team, a brilliant goal was thrown by our boys; we had tasted the first fruits of victory. A great shout rent the roof; pandemonium reigned. Soon our boys had a proverbial cinch of it. The Middlers both in the gallery and on the floor lost what little presence of mind they may originally have had. Our boys’ method became the simple proceeding of the following two features: First, the ball was passed as soon as convenient to Hully; second, the goal was thrown. This usually occurred every three minutes, including time wasted by the umpire, and frequent periods of rest required by the Middlers. You may compute the score by giving the Middler team a goal for every tewnty minutes; the result will be the following proportion: The Senior class : the Middle class :: 34 : 14; or solving, the Middler class = 14-34 of the Senior class. Countless deeds of valor were performed that day. The galleries became demented with uncontrollable enthusiasm, and through the roaring din and