Midwood High School - Epilog Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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Senior Council Arrsztpm Archon Senior Officers Guard OECCFS Agathon

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,-..,,. 3 out the enclosed preliminary il, application blank and return promptl . Eas enou hg all the l mTERVlEwERl-S want toyknow yourgname anti ls your father an alumnus? OFFICE QSome don't even ask for your 57 - name., XFX! The formal application blank N . arrives a few weeks later in a , 5-X lx . long, white, official-looking enve- R lope. Red and yellow papers fall e l'-5, L., out of the envelope once itls ,LN 4 opened, to modestly announce: YSL X i Information for applicants con- ? i cerning the College Entrance ' t A Board Examinationsf, The infor- ill mation is, in effect, that entrance 6- I examinations are given during 'f ffl various months throughout the Y Q .. year-examinations are given in all subjects-and it doesn't mat- ter very much which exams you take as long as you take something. The one exception is, of course, that if you are applying for admission to the School of Archaeology, it is advised that you include Ancient Greek and Cuneiform in your program of tests. The exams are a long way oH, so let's go on to the immediate problem that confronts you-the application. Some of the questions asked of you on the application blank are quite understandable: Did any of your descendants come over on the Mayflower?', or Are you in any way related to Iames Worthington Forsythe Van de Graffe Fitz- Hugh? fOne can easily understand that any college would favor relatives of distin- guished and illustrious alumni.j Sometimes only factual information is required- Date of Birth: Month ...,..,..,...... Day ,.... ...,....... Y ear .....,..,..,.... Moon Phase ........... But the kind that are the most fun run something like this: Name ....... ............. Why do you want to go to college? Address ....................,.. Why do you want to go to our college? Name of High School presently attended ..........,..... Are you sure that you want to go to our college?,' The application having been filed at last, all that remains between you and your ivy-colored dreams is the little matter of the College Boards. The students generally manifest distinctly different attitudes towards the exams. There are those, Whose every hour must be spent in study. This variety usually goes in for Messrs. Hacker, Kendrick, Bemis and Beard. The nonchalant generally lean toward Thirty Days To a More Powerful Vocabulary. But the most intriguing of all is the, I'M not going to study-I want to Walk into the exam room cold type. I have a vague distrust for these people-they probably go to bed with How To Pars That Test! The day of the College Board Exams comes and goes and then one day your letter arrives. Nervously, you rip open the envelope and with bated breath read: The President of the United States sends greetings . , . ll! Robert Blum

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Zllnw 'hr Svvninr Anil 7 ' The Senior, the noblest one of them all Is considered a virtuous jewel, But there once was a time when this monarch sublime Stood condemned by the mass of the school. An election was reason for his derelection T'was whispered it wasn't quite fair, For each senior who ran, ran away with the can With a ten thousand margin to spare. Somebody exclaimed that the race had been maimed And the tally exhorbitantly bloated, How could it have been that ten thousand could win When but live thousand Midwoodites voted? He was verbally flayed as the multitude bayed And accused him of villainous vice, But their epithets rash, such as father's mustache, Turned the blood in his veins into ice. He entreated his foes to desist from their blows And begged for a chance to reform, When our principal fair raised his hand in the air And said, Senior, thou art but a worm! Dismayed by the hue which the faculty, too, Had raised for his neck in a noose, He wandered the hall with a heart full of gall And became a conclusive recluse. But like the boll weevil some forces of evil Were eyeing our fair Alma Ma, In a country called Lincoln dictators were thinkin' Of planning a quick coup d'6tat. They said, Midwood's the nation for colonization, It is ripe for a rigorous rulef' So leaving their classes without any passes They descended cn masse on the school. The students were frightened and with eyeballs whitened They shouted the news of the raid, They trooped in a group to the Senior, that dupe- Our saviour, please save us,,' they prayed.