Midwood High School - Epilog Yearbook (Brooklyn, NY)

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Mrs. O'Brien, in her coaching on efiqueffe and speech, advises fhe boys fhaf T-shirfs and pegged panfs are nof as appropriafe as fhey mighf seem for fhe occasion, and fhal' bubble gum inflafed beyond a diamefer of five inches is no longer in fhe besl' of fasfe. When puffing one's feel' on fhe in- ferviewer's desk, care should be faken nof fo overfurn fhe ink-boffle. For fhe girls, sarongs should be worn only if fhe weafher warranfs fhem. One nofable men's college in fhe cify makes a pracfice of employing Conover girls as recep- fionisfs. There are con- flicfing fheories on how fo behave: one side confends fhaf leffing one's eyelids rise a quarfer of an inch above fheir normal level ruins one's chances for ad- mission: fhe ofher school of fhoughf mainfains fhal' fhe dean of admissions is an old lecher him- self and will reiecl' fhose who don'+ make obvious fheir virilify. The safesf procedure fhus seems fo be fo wear very 'rhick glasses, and claim near-sighfedness as an excuse in any case. lnferviews wifh ouf-of-fown insfifufions offer differenf problems. A visif fo one's firsf choice college in a New England fown may enfail walking ifs sfreefs barefoof for fear of desfroying valuable hisforical relics. ll am nof referring fo fhe facull'y.l One sfu- denf visifed a small college, his fhird choice, and was freafed liberally wifh wine, women and song. When his second choice accepfed him, and he chose fo go fhere, said small college billed him for fhe enferfainmenf. A person iusf refurned from an infer- I 8 view is approached as one appr0aCl1eS someone iusf refurned from visifing a friend on fhe poinf of deafh. lPerhaps fhey had been looking in fhe mirror.l The corners of fhe moufh of fhe inquirer droop, his lips quiver, his Adam's apple bobs, his eyes blink, his hand grips fhe vic'rim's forearm: l-low-how was if? l-l'll fell you. l'le said l had a very good chance of being accepfed. Bul' fhaf's whaf he said fo five kids who gof reiecfion nolices. As nofices of accepf- ance or reiecfion begin fo frickle in, fension mounfs. Two bosom friends were applying fo fhe same exclusive firsf-sfring col- lege, il' was unlikely fhaf fwo persons from one school would be accepfed. During Brofherhood Week, '4 - one of fhem was passing fhe chemisfry laborafory when a flask of sulfuric acid flew pasf his nose. lf was fhe nexf day fhaf fhe usually imperfurbable Mr. O'Brien was shocked 'lo find fhe ofher al' fhe boffom of fhe elevafor shaff. And have you ever noficed how seniors sfay away from windows on fhe upper floors? Despife our conslifufional guaranfees againsf cruel and unusual punishmenf, some colleges fake pleasure in sending ouf pre- liminary nofices. One New England insfifu- fion sends large, gilf-edged cerfificafes, suifable for framing, which sfafe fhaf The Presidenf and Fellows are happy fo An- nounce fhaf You l-lave Been Accepfed as an Official Candidafe for Admission. Anofher school 'lells you whaf group you are in. The groups run as follows:

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in the high Jcbool Jenimf You lhank her loudly, and back oul uncon- vinced. Then one begins lo peruse applicalion blanks. For one lype, il is necessary firsl lo file an applicalion for an applicalion, where- upon lhe laller is senl you wilh a cool nole explaining lhal compelilion will be very keen lhis year. ll is found lo require an accurale genealogy going back al leasl lo l620 and perferably lo lhe landing of William lhe Conqueror, and a physician's cerlificalion lo lhe facl lhal you do nol suffer from excessive schizophrenia or placid disposilion. Anolher school sends lwo pieces of paper. One is headed, Index here all your reading over lhe pasl fifleen years, lhe olher, Wrile a descriplion of yourself, including such informalion as lhe lenglh of your eyelashes, your favorile comic book, which side you sleep on, and your allilude loward Newlon's lhird law of molion. Of course pholographs musl accom- pany lhe applicalionsg lhe usual require- menl is lwo full-face and lwo profile shols, laken wilh your name, school, and dale of gradualion on a card held in fronl of your chesl as lhe piclures are lakeng horizonlally slriped iackels and crew culs for lhe boys are advisable bul nol mandaloryg your fingerprinls and a lisl of aliases musl appear on lhe back of each prinl. Discussing who will fill oul one's refer- ence forms becomes a favorile indoor sporl. I'm gelling a judge on lhe Slale Supreme Courl, bul I hear lhal whal's his name is gelling O'Dwyer's personal secrelary. Gee, all I can gel is a school superinlend- enl. I can gel Max Lerner, bul I wonder if lhal's such a hol idea for my college . . . Then lhere is lhe College Enlrance Ex- I7 aminalion Board, which sends you a bloaled pamphlel conlaining conlradiclory inslruc- lions and sample lesl queslions, lo which you immedialely lurn. Gee, I don'l gel lhis firsl problem al all. Oh well, I'Il lry lhe nexl. Hmm. Can'l seem lo gel lhis one eilher. Aah, I'Il look lhis sluff over laler. Much Ialer. The firsl week, you speak of lhe Col- lege Enlrance Examinalion Boards lesls. Soon you familiarly call lhem lhe College Board Exams, lhis conlracls lo lhe Boards, and, in lhe lasl weeks of March, you merely refer lo 'em, as in, How do you lhink you'll do in 'em? Il is a sin lo admil lhal one is sludy- ing for lhe Boards. A slandard greeling is, Geez, I haven'l opened a book yel and lhe Boards are in lhree weeks. Your besl friend makes sure lhal no one is near before he whispers, You going lc Malh coaching? And of course lhe fluller of nolebook pages and rallling of founlain pens when an English leacher sporls a big word is simply due lo a passing breeze .... Unbearable guill and embarrassmenl is smeared all over lhe face of lhe person who asks, Uh, say, do you have a lisl? Yeah? Could I lake a look al il? And a nascenl sneer accompanies, Do you use Johnson O'Connor? The applicalion form of lhe College Enlrance Examinalion Board is an examina- lion ilself. A good background of plain and solid geomelry is necessary lo fill il oul and fold il, more lhan one prospeclive college sludenl has been slymied by lhe necessily for prinling one's name four limes, lyping il once, and signing il before a nolary lwice. The inlerview is a slange phenomenon.

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I. A limousine will call al your home each morning beginning in Seplember, un- less you direcl olherwise. 2. We would hale lo Iel you in, bul we may have lo. 3. If your falher pays his back clues in lhe alumni associalion, we'll consider pul- ling you in group 2. 4. When Hiller wins lhe Nobel Peace Prize, you'll be accepled. 5. We presume lhal you were only iesling. Il is aboul lhis lime . lhal one's falher seizes 455 b lh lc ll ll I one y e nec casua y and shoves his bankbook in one's face. An apalhelic ,Q Arisla meeling was elec- lrified by lhe suggeslion lhal cerlain proposed edu- -- calional Ieclures would be helpful lo lhose laking lhe Slale Scholarship Examina- lion. Gee, I don'l know anylhing aboul arl or music The science parl is going lo ruin mel Even a radio quiz program sponsored by a local deparlmenl slore is offering scholarships, bul lhey are rumored lo con- sisl of a bedroom suile, a diaper-washing machine, and a hol lip on lhe nexl Walking Man conlesl. As one walks lhe halls, bils of relevanl dialogue may be heard. The queslion where did you apply? may produce any one of lhe following answers: I applied lo lhis big college, bul ldeprecalingly, feeling around for a com- plimenll of course I won'l gel in lhere, I9 We ,FU ff: bul' my uncle's brolher-in-law has some pull al Winnemac Slale, and he promised lo fix me up, so . . . lTossed off Iighllyl Harvard, Yale, and Princelon. lWill1 a quick shake of lhe headl I haven'l decided which l'II go lo. ll-lead lilled lo lhe lefll BrookIyn and lhead lills lo lhe righll Cily. Whal else can I do? You? You'Il never gel inlo Brooklyn afler lhal speech in favor of UMT you made in S. S. loday! As lime goes on, one gains so much presence of Q, mind lhal when a class- 0 male rushes up lo you and it ' blurls, CongraluIale mel E I was accepled al Poclunk 6 College! you do nol -, wrinkle your forehead and say, Where in blazes is lhal? bul encouragingly commenl, No kidding! Il isn'l so well known, bul I undersland il's a lerrific schooII Afler all, you may have big news from Siwash lhe nexl day .... You do. Your besl friend gushes, My girl friend's sisler wenl lhereg she says il was grealI Uh, il's an all boys' school. Those accepled slarl worrying aboul frals and sororilies, and inevilably lhe class comedian belabors us wilh lhe facl lhal because of his inleresl in crew, he is finag- ling lo gel info Rho Dammil Rho . . . Bul- everyone is evenlually accepled somewhere, and a slrange slowing of pulse and brealhing occurs. Wilh a Iillle efforl, lhe habils of eager-beavering and apple- polishing may be laid lo resf-unlil Seplem- ber, lhal is. david greenwood.