Midland Secondary School - Yearbook (Midland, Ontario Canada)

Page 62 text:

M. H. S. REVIEW Page Fifty-Nine but I can't see why a bereaved person always plays upon public sympathy by considering herself privileged to'be late for everything-if you see what l mean. And don't you consider her weeds unnecessarily profound? What I mean one does hear rumors of course-in a small town, you know, but l have heard that they didn't get along any too well. I know my dears, that I can quite safely say this to you as it won't go any farther of course- I Doorbell. Exit Mrs. Whalebone. Mrs. Cluck- My dear, isn't Mrs. Whalebone getting tremendous ? And that bouffant style she atlects simply destroys her. Now you could wear that type of dress because you're too delightfully slight. But-- Enter Mrs. Wlialebone and Mrs. Teel. Mrs. Cluck- I-lere's Mrs. 'Feel now, and looking simply stunning as usual. My dear, how you must have hurried-you have such a marvel- lous I Mrs. Whalebonc- Shall we start 7 We'll cut for partners-Mrs. Cluck and I against Miss Vine and Mrs. Teel. Mrs. Cluck- My bid, isn't it '?-O dear, it's so hard to decide these things. Oh, a spade. Miss Vine- Two diamonds. Mrs. Whalebone--t'Two diamonds. Mrs. Teel- By, Mrs. Cluck Qbeaming across at Mrs. W.7- How lovely, my dear, we get it at two spades! Now to begin. I simply adore bridge, don't you '? What I mean, there are so many fine points, and one simply must concentrate. Oh I'm so sorry, are you waiting for me ? Oh well we'll let them have that one. But as I was saying-Oh my dear, what shall I play on that '? May I ask-whose Jack is that? I think I shall take a trick, just for exercise you know. And speaking of exercise, don't you think skiing perfect ? My Guinevere has gone skiing with that sweet- looking little Curry chap. O Dear, is the lead from my hand or the table? Thank you Miss Vine. But to go back to Guinevere, the poor child, we really don't know what to with her. Pshaw, my finesses never do work. You don't mind if we go down, do you Mrs. Whalebone ? But poor Guinevere, she simply refused to remain any longer at Braddingdon Hall. She says that they lay such stress on mathematics and science. etc. Things that are so unnecessary. Why they don't even make an attempt to cul- tivating an accent, if you can imagine that ! So we're thinking of send- ing her to the Van Veneer school in Snobville-quite small, and very exclusive, my clears. Gracious I how stupid of me. May I take it back '? It isn't covered. I see you are letting your hair grow Miss Vine-so wise of you, I think. Mrs. Alden is letting hers grow too, and she looks posi- tively ghoulish! Really, isn't that too bad-down three-so fortunate it wasn't doubled. She's on a milk diet, too. Of course' she's a pet and everything, but don't you think she's rather indelicate at times? For instance, The other day she said that she had drunk so much milk, she felt like a dairy. I guess it's Miss Vine's deal-now do give me a good hand this time Miss Vine, it's so discouraginng to bid and go down. But as I said before, one learns something everytime one plays. Bridge is so fascinating and so entirely scientific. Of course concentration is the keynote of success.

Page 61 text:

Page Fifty-Eight M. H. S. REVIEW H 'WD 5 I3 .pg I 'I bf 1v ' 4,1 .IW UNHCR Kit-- Really, I can't see what he sees in her. Kat- Well, you know the lure of the filthy Lucre-her people are in oil. Kit-- Humph-so are sardinesf' Fashion decrees if any thing becomes long- er, it will be shoulder straps. But why not eliminate the pesky things altogether. They are so Mid-Victorian. Miss McMullen- Can anyone in the class define the word Hprocrastinate ? No response from class. Miss McMullen- Well, to procrastin- ate is to put oft. Patchell, construct a sentence using' the word. Patchell fafter deep thoughtj- I asked the conductor to procrastinate me at Hugel and Fifth. Statistics indicate a decided increase in the percentage of murders, since the manu- We t I ' 01 IQ Q' A, 1, 2 5 is-S r' 1,-egg 5 - vm - r 5 facturers of Listerine started their campaign for making candour the basis of friendship. 'tChick .... Hello ! ...... hello Z .... .Oh hello. .is that Marion 'Z Marion who 'Z Marion Watt. Yes, that's what I said, Marion What. Well, it's Marion Watt I want ! Say, are you off your base '? What's stopping you from marryin' what you want 'I John Watt's the main reason I'm not marryin' Marion Watt. and if it's bologna you want, what's your address? Listen, my name isn't Johng this is the Blank Street Meat Emporium, No what isn't my address, and besides- I said what is your address. I say, is this the Beanville Insane Asylum 'T Kindly reserve a padded cell and bath-Thank you. The Science of Bridge. Scene-Any living' room, in any house, any time between the lunch- eon and dinner hours. Characters - Mrs. Cluck, a woman of few words. Mrs. Whalebone, the hostess. Miss Vine, a maiden lady. A Mrs. Jolm Tell, recently widowed. Mrs. Whalebone--'tWc-'re all here now except M1's. John Teelg I wonder what's keeping her ? Mrs. Cluck- Well, really, I wouldn't for worlds want to be catty,

Page 63 text:

Page Sixty M. H. S. REVIEW 'George Chew went to the doctor to learn what ailed him and the doctor said :- You ought to take off flesh. Get a car and get out more. And so I got a car and got out more, says George. I got out six times in one block and took off a little fiesh in four different places. The last time I got out was through the wind shield. That was the time I took off the most flesh. Jack Hanley- Why do my knees shake when I get on the plat- form ? ' Bernard Kennedy- They're trying to take their caps off to the ladies. Mother cranks the wringer, Daughter cranks the carg The old gent is a crank himself, What a cranky bunch they are. Miss Turner- Mary decline the word kiss. Mary T.- Oh, Miss Turner, I never decline them. The fighting twins, Mucker and Tucker. A. DeFinney- I want a pair of spec-rimmed hornicles-I mean sporn rimmed hectacles-confound itg I mean heck-rimmed spornaclesf' Floor Walker- I know what you mean, sir. Mr. Park, show this fellow a pair of rin-sporned hectaclesf' Dealer- Shall I send the clothes horse you ordered '? Helen R.- Send it. Did you think I intended to ride it home ? Dear Mr.' Editor : fHilly's letter read J I enclose a poem and should be glad if you would read it and return it with a candid criticism as soon as possible, as I have other irons in the fire? Reply- Dear Madam : Remove irons and insert poem. Hotel Attendant- Are you the gentlemen who has been ringing for the last half-hour, sir ? Douglas Edwards lat electric bell!- Not as I know of, I've lost me collar stud and I was trying to dig this little 'un out of the wall with my pen-knife. V Scene-shifter ftaking place of actor who had not turned up.l- The police have found out everything, my lord, and are breaking down the gate. Lorne Letherby fthe wicket earlj- Tis false, knave I 'Tis false l Scene-shifter findignantlyj- All right guv'nor. ,Go an' ask the stage manager' yourself,Kif,you don't believe me. 'E told me ter say it. X ..- jfurm IV at 9 a.m. M A rion Brown. L orne Letherby. Phi L ip Bailey. Frc D Tremeer. Ml riam Panton. Erne S t Nicholson. Dor O thy Angle. R uth Topping. Howar D Gregorie. H E nry Boyer. Laur R ence Grise. 'flsn't that right, Miss McMullen '?