Midland High School - Middies Yearbook (Midland, IN)

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THIS IS YOUR IITE I THE TWIIIGHT ZONE Place: TWILIGHT ZONE Time: 1985 Far out in the outer most parts of man's imagination is a place of doubt and superstition called the TWILIGHT ZONE, where the impossible becomes possible and miracles are a daily affair. We first come upon a small, old man selling pixie dust and magic potions. Let's stop and talk. Mr. Pixie Man, could you please tell us about the Midland Seniors who have found their way to the TWILIGHT ZONE? Without speaking, he shows us the morning paper. The headlines read: Pauline Canada was given the Donald Duck Award for her great invention of the Olive Pitter. As we turn to the society page, we find that Gene Talpas is married to a wealthy widow. They have just had their second set of twins, named Pete and Repete. They will be welcomed home by their other set of twins, Urp and Burp. Then turning to the sports section we find Allen Zuder winner of the 5,000 Galaxy Race. He qualified for this race by being one of the very few who traveled to the Milky Way and brought back a cargo of Snicker Candy Bars. Richard Sturgeon, Allen Zuder's co-pilot, is the winner of the Datona Beach Ford Testing Ground Race, the prize being of unlimited value, the ancient award given to outstanding athletes, a Brownie Button. As I continue to glance through the paper, I see that Sondra Miller, who has been a stand-in for Juliet Prowse, is now starring in her own Broadway show, Who Killed the Mouse? . Steve Myers, the famous private eye, has been commissioned by the Federal Department of the Internal Revenue to investi- gate the mushroom fortunes of some of the former teachers of Midland High School, namely, Millionaire May, Wealthy Warrick, and Capitalist Cramer. The names have been changed not to protect the innocent but to protect the grades of the authors. Huh! We travel through the dimension of time into the TWILIGHT ZONE'S own Hollywood where Beverly Scott, the renown marriage counselor, has finally succeeded in bringing about the marriage of Popeye and the Sea Hag! I I I II Ugh II One of HoIlywood's most distinguished psychiatrists, Karen McHenry, has retired due to a near nervous breakdown, after losing all of her money on Wall Street. It seems she invested all her savings in golden Ubangi Nose Rings. Who wants golden Ubangi Nose Rings? Also in the TWILIGHT ZONE'S own Hollywood, we find a popular, new talent, Don Rhodes, who has recently surpassed Red Skelton in the art of Comedianty during his engagement at the Feenamint Lounge . The Pixie Man has informed us that a few of the other seniors have become well-known, those being: Louhon Tucker, who after discovering the cure for hiccups has become one of the United States foremost authorities on Hickomology. Kathryn James has made history by becoming the first lady U. S. President. She is now passing a bill in Congress for the distribution of shaving cream to Castro and Grylcream hair oil to Khrushchev, whose latest motto is a little Stab'Il do ya. In the field of entertainment, Sherron Wade has become well-known as the Fat Lady, Sword Swallower, and Snake Dancer, in the Dingling Brothers Circus. Judith Godfrey is fast becoming one of the best hair stylists for males in Paris ---- not France, but Illinois. Others makingtheir names well-known in different occupations are: Eddie Secrest--a champion eater of Limburger Cheese Pizza. Jon Roberts has delighted many a famous person with his creation of hog jowls and possum belly with potzarelli cheese topping in his French Restaurant at New Orleans. We hear from down Tennessee way that four of the most successful people down there are: David Fulford, also known as Fabulous Fulford, is a famous actor and recorder of all hillbilly plays and songs for the M.B.C. or Moonshine Broadcasting Company. We hear that his accompanist is the lovely Linda E. Tipton, who is a famous pianist and dancer as well: may their fame continue. Next is their old schoolmate Jim Slater, who is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court in Possum Holler. Last, but not least, is Robert Mitchell, a champion Hog Caller and owner of a Sour Cream Dairy with cows that give 7 delicious flavors of milk, those being: Cherry, Grape, Chocolate, Butterscotch, Strawberry, Tutti Frutti, and Pineapple. Since the beginning of time, man has wished to foretell the future. This remarkable feat has been accomplished only by a certain unexcelled few--the distinguished, intellectual 1963 Juniors of Midland High School. idddrkvlrkirk 18

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