Midlakes High School - Reflections Yearbook (Clifton Springs, NY)

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J) Sati re by Ted Crosby The following satire has been composed exclusively for the 1988 Midlakes High School Year- book. To prevent any possible lit- igation of legal action from being directed toward the yearbook in- stitution, the identities of those who farce this work with their presence will be withheld. In Webster’s Dictionary you will find two fiben definitions of the word satire ; (1) a literary work in which vires and folly are held up to ridicule, and (2) Midlakes High School. Perhaps I shouldn’t satirize my old alma mater, wouldn’t I be an ungrateful son? Wouldn’t it be the equivalent of spitting on the moth- er who has nourished me with ed- ucational food? Wouldn’t I be be- traying the school which has given me everything ...? ... Nah. if there was such a thing as satire season, Midlakes would be open game year ’round. First, let us look at Midlakes from the outside. That rough, brick exterior attempts to impress upon students a sense of fear and power. So does that absurd tomb- stone like marker out in the yard by the road. Between that sign, and the way some of this year’s freshmen looked, one would think that Midlakes really is a mortuary. It is a common stereotype among students from other area schools that Midlakes is wimpy. That’s not true. We ARE the Screaming Eagles! If you think about it the name Screaming Ea- gles is rather absurd. What ex- actly is the novelty about eagles anyway? What does a Screaming Eagle sound like? Perhaps a bird is, on second thought, a fitting symbol for this school as most things around here do “lay an egg” We enter the building, our first stop is the High School Office. The two secretaries dutifully pro- tect the door of our omnipotent principal. Like Fawn Hall and Ollie North, they will do anything for “The Boss. This dedication, in fact, led to Midlakes’ first scandal. The secretaries were helping to cover up the smuggling of packets of Sweet and Low sugar sub- stitute from the staff dining room to the Contras. The assistant boss meanwhile denied any involve- ment in the scandal, saying all the Contras I know like their cof- fee black and without.” We next enter the heart of Midlakes High School, if it has one. First of all, we see the Library which contains Shakespeare, Twain, and ‘‘The New York Times”. Also included in this vast wonderland are literary treasures for the male, Hot Rod Magazine and Seventeen. We return to the hallways where so many outrages are committed. We see freshmen harrassed and pushed into lockers, hear the girls gossip, and hear obscenities ut- tered by sportsmen against the coach ... that's eleven within three minutes! We peek into the classrooms. Some teachers are teaching, oth- ers are babysitting, and others are just plain boring. Now, let's head down to the gym. First, we peer into the weight room, containing various pieces of equipment left over from the Spanish Inquisition. In the gym, we can see students taking a few warm-ups. Many look as if they had just been on the Bataan Death March. Meanwhile, the sadistic in- structor looks on smiling slyly and noting every bit of the suffering being endured. We look into the team room where the football team has been gathered to map out their game strategy. Although the team is for the most part a continued on pg. 168 Homecoming 1987” continued from pg. 11 and competitions between the stu- dents. “The weather was perfect that night and there were lots of students in attendance, having fun, but still trying to win” com- mented Mr. Leyh. The Senior Class was well represented and when you have a good Senior Class everyone will have a good time. Another aspect adding to the merriment of the whole affair was the last minute decision by the Student Council to have Midlakes Homecoming ’87 ka- zoo's.” The kazoos were a crazy, kooky idea, and that's what this is all about — being crazy” said Mr. Leyh. The miniature instruments fit in exactly to the atmosphere of the weekend. The Homecoming 1987 compe- titions were won by the Senior Class, and the Queen of the Week- end, Miss Danielle Progno, was crowned at the ceremony during halftime of the football game. I am sure it will be well-remembered; the tricycle race on Friday night, the guys showing up dressed as girl cheerleaders for the powder- puff football and the general over- all enthusiasm of the whole school. And whenever anyone hears the song “Where Eagles Fly” fond memories will be re- called with a smile. ‘ c7 Tunisia continued from pg. 11 14

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.k.hrHvlbt Jnmktlmt Left and Above: Posters for S.A.D.D. Top Left: Freshman wall Top Right: Colleen Doyle Middle Left: Jennifer Hussar Center: S.A.D.D.: John White, Melanie Curtis, Michele Conklin and Advisor Mary Anne Dobmeier 13

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was the main city from which the Roman Empire was operated. It currently exists as a tourist at- traction as well as a monument to the past. Kairouan exists as the major carpet producing city in all of Africa, and it also contains the largest and oldest Islamic mosque outside of Mecca. Furthermore, in Tunis, the capital, I witnessed a political riot full of passionate screams of revolt and felt the an- ger during the aftermath of several terrorist bombings. Currently, the country of Tu- nisia is a Democratic Republic controlled by by the Habib Bour- guiba. Bourguiba is eighty-four years old and deteriorating rapidly. Time” magazine has published several articles on the internal strife experienced between dem- ocratic supporters and communist revolutionaries. It is fairly likely, upon the death of Bourguiba, that political activists will fight for the control of the government. For the most part, I was openly accepted into a family with strict Islamic values. I was treated equal- ly as a sister and thus grew to love my family. Nothing is as valuable as being a member of two com- pletely different worlds and view- ing the similarities of the values which belong to them. Further- more, in order to experience these worlds, there is the need to learn communication; whether it be through physical signals or verbal expressions. As an example, I learned to speak French fluently and acquired common Arabic ex- pressions. All in all, the main goal AFS has in mind, when sending students abroad, is the value of commu- nication. The main problem ex- isting between nations today is a lack of communication. Through the skills I learned, I found out that the average people of the world have the same general expecta- tions of life, to be happy and se- cure without the fear of being dominated or ostracized by others. “Rafting continued from pg. 11 Hey! It sounded simple enough; sit down, hold on and paddle! I had a wetsuit, a helmet, gloves, and a paddle. I was set, right? We piled into the raft and practiced a few strokes and commands. Piece of cake ... Then came the rapids! The first three rapids were easy. Everyone was given the chance to leave the trip. Courageously, no one declined. It this is all there is to it... How surprised we all were when we hit Knife's Edge! Our guide complimented us on our rafting skill. Boy, we were thinking now! Joe-rafter, baby! Our guide warned us about the next set of whitewater. The Brothers and the infamous “Holy Mary’s Tomb” awaited our strokes. A sheet of water shot over my head — I watched it fall, drenching the heads of the strug- gling rafters; and as my eyes fol- lowed my paddle down into “Holy Mary's Tomb,” the swirling mass of water came closer! I had lost my bearings and I had been thrown from the raft! I had managed to catch hold of the safe- ty rope, and realizing struggle to be both futile and dangerous, I clutched my paddle and waited for rescue. Before I realized the dan- ger I was in, our guide had pulled me back into the raft and we were floating gently in an eddy of the river. As we geared up for the next rapid, my group saluted the run with a paddle-chink, comparative to a group high-five. Everyone cheered the swimmer, now I was a veteran ... Five minutes later, I realized the chill of the Black River in October, and I was as grateful as anyone for the hot chocolate. We were now ready for some seriously intense rapids. We were advancing towards a set of white- water appropriately entitled “Rocket Ride. As we watched the group ahead of us drop out of sight, we could not help but gasp. Next it was our turn. It was touch and go, but something went wrong — a fluke of a wave, a tumultuous crash spilling people as we hit the side of the rugged cliff. The raft flipped, and was trapped as white- water swirled from every direction about my head. I did not panic, but thoughts of drowning spurred me onward to escape. All of us made it out, sustaining only scrapes and bruises, but we had stories to tell! Also an amazing realization of the worth of life. S.A.D.D. continued from pg. 11 The goals of S.A.D.D. are as follows: 1) To help eliminate the drunk driver and thus save lives; 2) To conduct community alcohol awareness programs, 3) To alert and inform students of the dan- gers of alcohol and driving, and, 4) To organize a peer counseling pro- gram to help students who may have concerns. Some events that the chapter has in mind are a Sock Hop, guest speakers to talk to the student body, a Mock Trial with the Red Jacket Chapter, and sponsoring the production of Half-Way There.” Everyday 14 teenagers die in the CI.S.A. in alcohol related ac- cidents according to the S.A.D.D. National Office in Massachusetts. A teenager is injured in a drunken driver accident every 10 seconds nationwide. The accident and fatality sta- tistics represent only a tiny slice of the problem. The pervasiveness of teenagers drinking and driving can be seem better in the arrests for driving under the influence of al- cohol last year: For drivers age 15, 24 arrests; age 16, 171 arrests; age 17, 476 arrests; and for age 18, 1864 arrests. Michele Conklin is President, Phil Beniamino is Vice-President, Melanie Curtis is Secretary, and John W. White is Treasurer of the Midlakes S.A.D.D. Chapter. El Kharawn. Tunisia 15