Miami Dade College North Campus - Falcon Yearbook (Miami, FL)

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DINNER WITH THE DUCKS 1'- I Lunch? We 'd be delighted! How about the Chez Vendome? Perhaps two of the most interesting individuals at Miami-Dade are the two ducks currently domiciled at our lake. During a skip period the other day I sat down by them and we dined together. I talked at them as we shared my bag of potato chips. Right away I discovered I didn't understand their foreign language, but I was able, through the use of my agile mind, to learn quite a bit about them. Although these delightful specimens were rather laconic in their replies, fthey limited their answers to Hquackn, honk , and a guttural sound of exhilara- tionj. I detected they were from Quebec by their French accents. This is very, very, extraordinary - usually tlgz French Canadians stay in the Broward 311631, . ,M Airway theylanswered my questions for a long period of time before they had to leave factually I ran out of potato chipsj but I was able to find out through my observations that they had had a rigorous journey here. fTheir tropical wardrobe was quite bedraggledj Since they have started to build a house, it appears they will be here for a while and that is great. If this college needs anything it's a friendly couple who always quack a friendly c'bonjour when they see you and are willing to dine with you in the finest brotherly tradition. Your lake is very nice but could you speak to someone about getting it heated?

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- ' ' 7. A,,' E I y gg.. s N. ,I OE COLLEGE To hear a college student talk about cutting classes seems rather peculiar to us. Take, for example, Joe College - working man. Joe spends the few months compatible with human living vigorously laboring for what just may be the lousiest wages in North America. He scrimps and saves, works daytime, nighttime, and overtime, and sweats and stinks when he could be swimming and loving. Finally, after all this effort, he enrolls in college, registers, gets all set up, and proceeds to turn his back on the whole deal. Joe College becomes a member of the College Mutual Admiration Society. Composed of the more erratic, colorful, and popular members of the stu dent body, C.lVl.A.S. prides itself in cutting classes, and members strive to out-do each other. C.M.A.S., like all societies, ranks its members. Leaders reveal a remarkable tendency to physically decompose in the :1.i--- I ---,Q I WORKING MAN Student Center. The rank and file who subscribe to the society's values achieve incredible absence re- cords. Irrepressibly last are the fringe members, a more practical segment which actually fails to main- tain top standards, but realizing the advantages of being classed with the Society, pay considerable lip service to its ideals. One thing they are certainly successful in is getting farther and farther away from common sense. Are all Society', members in the wrong courses? Aren't the girls in their classes up to standard? Do the profs have jungle mouth? Or could it be that the College Mutual Admiration Society is just a carryover from a high school. subculture where the idea is to lack interest in everything especially in the academic side of life?

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SELF SUPPORT - MD,ICN'S HOPE FOR THE FUTURE? People today are under the false impression that a community college cannot create enough revenue to support itself. The standard fees, plus money gained from a few ideas outlined below, will prove this concept false. No one seems to realize it but Miami-Dade North, if properly handled, could become an agricultural hot-bed, just brimming with possibilities for mone- tary gain. Most recently a pair of vacationing ducks moved into the lake behind Scott Hall. lf someone could persuade them to stay, they could be the foundation of our first great enterprise: MDade Duckn. They already have a lake, plus all the potato chips, bread crumbs, and cigarette butts they can eat fgenerously provided by Dadeas Water-polluting stu- dent bodyj. Of course, the ducks will need larger. accommodations as they increase their numbers fthe little rascalsj. We recommend halting construction on the new theater arts complex and converting it into a duck house immediately. Another possibility is hornets. A pair of them have been busy as bees building a nest on the southwest corner of the library. By encouraging them to expand their construction, Dade could have still another product at its disposal: hornet honey. Yet, still other possibilities exist. We could convert the stadium into a cow pasture, change the Play Pen to the Pig Pen, and finally, plow under the parking lot and sow the seeds of the imported spaghetti plant - which should flourish in the South Florida sun. Of course, we'd have to provide the farmers who One of Dade's soclkzble ducks shares her bath with a winter visitor. tend to all this with some recreation. This could easily be accomplished by transforming J.F.K. Health Center into a square-dance barn. The final step would be to turn the information booth into a drive-up store where one could buy tickets to square dances, duck eggs, dead ducks, feather pillows, pork, pigskin, milk, beef, spaghetti, and, of course, hornet honey. Eventually, as operations expand, the students would have to leave to make room, Chow about bussing them to nearby abandoned high schools'?j but Miami Dade North would be self-supporting. Itls not really so difficult - is it? First I catch the duck then I get the recipe for orange sauce 99 5 . ur. 4.5 -J t