Metropolis High School - Illohmet Yearbook (Metropolis, IL)

Page 14 text:

I, “Piffle” Miller, being sober for once, gladly will to Hazel Harper my ability to fall down practically every flight of stairs in M. C. H. S. and still maintain a graceful position. I, Alvin Oakes, will my job of digging up dirt centered around M. C. H. S., for the Illohmet to Joseph “Dog Simmons. I, Hazel Kruger, do hereby offer to anyone having a letter man in foot ball my profound sympathy while watching a game. The suspense is terrible. I, William Luster Leukering being for once sane and two-thirds sober, do will and bequeath to Bill Jeffords my ability to survive six wrecks in one Ford and keep the Ford and chauffeur in shape to make the trip to the glove factory region. I, Elvis Searles, do hereby will the moss in my back yard to George F. Sullivan, so that he may always have it with him. I. Dorotha Main, will my success in providing my friends with conveyance to the “Black Cat after school to Helen Mae Dunn. I, Walen Barger, will my book on “Success with the Women” to Joe “Ladies’ Man Simmons. I, Eugene Butler, will to “the three Muskateers Park, Nave and Gillespie, any of the finer opposite sex, which I may have been obliged to leave behind. I, Louise Aikens will my voluptous curves to Dorothy Daly with the hope that she may develop a more perfect Mae West “figger.” I, Lavere “Wally” Gregory, will my position as Fern Neikamp's boxing instructor to none other than Milford “Barrell’ Dunmier. May he long survive the punches. I, Helen James, being of sane and sober mind, do hereby bequeath my ability to argue with Joe Simmons on personal and non-personal subjects and still remain one of his best friends to anyone willing to undertake the task. I. Mildred Wilson, do hereby will to Irene Lowry my ability to be absent from school and get by with it. I, Harvey Evans, leave nothing in general to no one in particular because I haven’t very much of anything and need all I have. I, Velda Jessing, will my quiet ways and “my interest upstairs to Mary Louise Busclaus hoping she succeeds better than I have in the past. I, Willie Lee Walters, leave my ability to furnish Marion P. Miller with information concerning a certain Chicagoan to anyone liking a good quiz. I, Margianna Yost, hereby will my quiet and bashful manner to Hazel Flanagan, hoping she will appear more domestic in Miss Steers Home Ec. class. I, Lorene Wilcox, will to Grace Baker my shorthand book, providing she promises to make better grades than I did. I, Mary Rose, will to Marbeth Heath the five minutes which I daily devoted to study. May she grow wiser and still keep her strength. I, Hazel Hedden, will my ability to never recite in class and still not receive a red grade to Gladys Benjamin. I, Marie Markus, do hereby will and bequeath all of my excess knowledge of Chemistry to Joe Simmons, with the hope he profits by it. I, Gordon Ramsay, will my sunshiny smile to Carleton Hunnerkock and my cough to Francis Kidd. I trust they will struggle through life with a cough and a smile. I, Hilda Bess, hereby will to Josephine Lytton my typewriter. Long may she pound the keys. I, Rosalie Frazier, will my position as entertainer in Miss Wicecarver’s Bus. Tr. class to anyone feeling in great need of employment. I, “Bohonsky “Einstein Zettler, the Wonder Boy, who knows all and sees all, being in sober but unsound mind do hereby will and bequeath my position as assistant to Mr. Oliver Huston Tripp to no one. This being my last will, I advise Fern Neikamp and Alice Morrow to can some of the chatter and wise-cracks. I wish them to be faultless in their second year in Chemistry. I, Ralph Green, will the use of the Sousaphone and my place in the band to J. T. Culp. May he give the band rhythm as it’s never had before. I, Grace Trampe, do hereby will to Frances Riepe my happy school days, hoping that the remainder of her term in this great institution, M. C. H. S., may furnish her with a memory as full of pleasure as mine. I, Johnny Paust, in my sane and sober mind, do hereby bequeath to Pat Park my ability to sell nothing for something to anybody who cares nothing about the something he buys. I, Harold Waters, do hereby will four inches of my height to “Tubby Batson, thinking as how it might reduce the circumference of his waistline and add to the altitude. I, George Rogers, will my number twelve shoes to Barber Frazee. May he never stumble.

Page 13 text:

Last IDill and Testament We, the class of 1934 of Metropolis Community High School, in the county of Massac and the state of Illinois, being blessed with reasonable intelligence and a desire to aid lesser creatures do hereby create, ordain and sanction this, our last will and testament. After the payment of all debts and lawful claims, we request that the remainder of our wealth be dispensed with as follows: To the class of 35 we leave the task of becoming shining examples for the Freshmen (as we were.) To the class of 36 we leave the work of making money for the event of the year, the Junior-Senior Reception. To the class of 37 we leave the joy of no longer having the title “just a green Freshie.” . To the oncoming class of 38, we leave our dignified manner and good behavior. To the faculty as a whole we leave the task of producing another class as witty, brilliant, mischievous, individualistic, and most important of all, as efficient as ours. To our trust-worthy janitors we leave an abundant supply of chewing gum, all bands, and the fancy designs scratched on the assembly desks. I, Helen Kotter, hereby will my ability to keep Joppa boys in training to Nell Rose Moreland. I, Modena Smith, will my ability to keep up in bookkeeping to John Collard. I, “Watt” Gillespie, will my ability to get all bunged up in the old pig-skin game to next year's star athlete, Chad. Zettler. I, George Rice, will to anyone feeling in the mood, my gift of writing poetry to the “ferns of M. C. H. S. I, Merle Scott, will to anyone provided with an excess supply of energy the right to hold heated arguments with next year’s American History, “Prof. I, Ruth Bremer, hereby will to Verna Verbarg my galoshes, so that next year when she no longer has anyone to bring her to school she will not have to spend her money for unneccessary shoe shines. I, James Matthews, leave my position, as forward on the “Farmers’ to Barber Frazee, provided that he score 20 points per game against the “Bugchasers, as I didn’t. I, Edith Dunn, hereby will my ability to be absent from school on Mondays and to sleep in the assembly to Helen Evers. I sincerely hope that she makes as great success of both as I have. I, Alberta Fullmer, will to Margaret Scott my naturally bright disposition and also my much mis-used business training book. I, Elizabeth Teckenbrock, will to Dorothy Jessing my place in Latin class, on one condition: that she persuades Miss Rush to talk loud enough to cause a general disturbance throughout the building. I, Esther Bremer, will my shortest pencil to Golda Wallace providing that she uses it to a good advantage in short hand. I, James Crain, will to J. H. Craig all of my surplus fat so that he will not be obliged to remain under weight hereafter. (I suggest he consume grape nerts.) I, Leonard Copley, do hereby will and bequeath to Paul “Shep” Sheppard my ability to be a good boy while taking girls uptown. I, Kermit Kruger, wishing no harm to befall her, will to Bobbie Park two walking canes as a precaution against falling down, especially when chasing boys. I, Ruby Vaughn being in my sane mind do hereby bequeath my dimples to Bill Jeffords, as he seems to have such an interest in them. I, Billie Yost, do hereby will and bequeath my seat on the visitors side of the gym to Alice June Causer, provided she manages to sit next to the handsome males of the opposing team. I, Rose Black, being of sane and sound mind, (I hope) do hereby will and bequeath my ability to play a mellophone in the band to my shadow, Marbeth Heath, providing she fill this position and keeps up my side-lines as well as I have. I. Mary Ellen Gurley, do hereby will my nights of worry over Civics, English IV, and Typing I, to Peggy Morgan, providing she can take it. I, Helen Gillespie, will my ability to listen to Wayne King's broadcast in an out of town Plymouth to no one. I, Naomi Bremer, leave to anyone capable, the chance to hold interest in both Vienna and Alton. I. Francie Goodall, do hereby bequeath to Helen Buchanon my vanity case, providing she manages to raise as much protest as I have and yet get by with it.

Page 15 text:

I, Waymond Jenkins, being sane, sober and consicous all at once, doth hereby at this appointed hour and date will my ability to grow tall to Arthur Dennis, so’s Mr. Tripp can see who is presenting a slip at the desk without standing up and looking over. I, Gail Roberts, will one-fourth the volume of my voice to Miss Rush and all of the girls in my Latin II class, so that despite the noise on the outside they may all converse in Latin and Miss Rush won’t have a chance of not being heard. I, Marshall Innman, will to Ralph Chase my inability to keep cool when confronted by a dominating female. I, June Roe, leave to any discouraged Seniors of next year’s class a detailed explanation of Shakespeare’s Macbeth. You can’t escape it. I, Dan Park, will my ability as a manual training instructor to my little brother so that he may continue teaching next year’s teacher the art of Manual Training. I, “Perk Nave, leave to the gals of my “ole Alma Mammy” my little brother, Jimmy, and to the school in general my gift of gab and my sound proof laughter. But my past year’s interest in S. I. N. U., the U. of I. and the downtown “Shamrock” I leave to no woman. I, Paul May, will my dimples to J. H. Craig. I, Wilburn Morris, do hereby will my ability to make good grades under Miss Lawrence to any oncoming senior. I, Charles Turner, being in sound, sober and sane mind, will my ability to star for the Ag. club to “Diddy” Kidd. I ,Ruth Ruggles, will to Roberta Dollar my lack of speech to save her many embarrassing moments during band practice. I, Herman Weideman, will to anyone having a Waterbury” in Manual Training my ability to broadcast the time. I, George Shelton, do hereby bequeath to Carleton Hunnerkock my ability to stand up and recite in English IV with nary a stammer. I, Alice Weideman, will my bashful ways to Hazel Alliston, providing she always remain modest and shy. I, Edward Borman .will my favorite role of ole pappy in the Jr. and Sr. plays to anyone able to stoop and my ability to be a dignified Senior to Fern Niekamp (and Lord knows she needs it.) I, James Fitzpatrick, will “Shorty” Gillespie my book on “Making recitations in English IV.” I, Thelma Wallace, leave my golden locks to anyone with the determination to become a blond. Therefore exterminating the use of peroxide as well as hair with as many colors as Joseph’s wellknown coat. I, Odis Teckenbrock, do hereby will my red, wavy locks to Bill Miller, but my model T Ford and passengers to no one. I, Leonard Riepe, will to Omar DeJarnett my Ford; on one condition: that he always manages to have all space occupied. I, Helen Woodward, will to Margaret Bean my ability to manage the 8th period library. That is, if she doesn’t have a bad case of nerves. I. Alice Hunnerkock, will my place in Physics to anyone willing to make new discoveries and feel superior to students like “Einstein” Zettler. I, Lorraine Johnson, will Sterling Doyle my ability to stay short, with the hope that he may find it less difficult to keep tab on certain people. I, Roy Reeves, will to anybody who is foolish enough to take it. my ability to get caught chewing gum in Miss Wicecarver’s class, and leave all that has been wasted already to the janitor. I, Dale Anderson, do hereby will and bequeath my front seat in Senior English to Joseph “Dog” Simmons, hoping that he may avoid as many tests as possible. I, John R. Kidd, do hereby will my athletic ability to Arthur “Runt” Dennis. I. Charles Cagle, being in a sane and sound mind do hereby will my ability to run a mile and my English IV book to “Doc” Jones, provided he use both of them to a good advantage. I, Cornelius Buddenbaum, being of an insane and sober mind, will and bequeath to Paul “Shop Shappard one-half bottle of Mange Cure, used for dogs only. I, George Estes, will my position on the Hi-Y basketball team to Geo. “Skeet-er” Miller. I, Henriett Riepe, will my dignified manner to any young freshman who wishes to improve. I, James “Shadow” Compton, being in sound and sober mind, do hereby will and bequeath my detective ability to Loyd “One Punch” Lambert. I, George Covington, hereby will my football pants to “Barrell House” Dun-mire to practice football in; providing he reduces his waist line and will not wear his long-handles underneath them. (Continued on page 31)