Metropolis High School - Illohmet Yearbook (Metropolis, IL)

Text from Pages 1 - 44 of the 1934 volume:

year book of the Senior Class 1934 metropolis Community High School To Miss lone Lawrance, Our Most Faithful Sponsor of Both the Senior Class and the lllohmet Staff, We Lovingly Dedicate This Annual. The Smile With Which She Undertook Her Work Has Made Our Work More Enjoyable. Of Her We Have Only Pleasant Memories. Faculty BUREN H. SMITH Principal and History CHAS. V. COCHRAN Biology, Physiology BESS ATWELL English RICHARD A. FIOCCHI Commercial, Band IONE LAWRANCE English GEORGE SCHNEEMAN Social Science, Coach GEORGE SULLIVAN Agriculture, Geography JEAN J. JONES Mathematics, Manual Arts ORA RUSH Language HELEN STEERS Home Economics OLIVER H. TRIPP Physics, Chemistry GLADY WICECARVER Mathematics, Commercial Page Three SENIOR OFFICERS President------------------------------------------ La Vere Gregory “He’s been our pilot at the wheel.” Vice President _______________________________ Mary Marguerite Fick “He had eyes so he chose me.” Secretary and Treasurer_______________________________ Robert Zettler “No matter how you take him he’s all right.” CLASS HISTORY Radio friends, you are now listening over station W-O-R-K, operating on a frequency of 1934 kilocycles. An unusual program will be presented through Mary F. Goodall, who is going to relate the adventures of the first year of the Class of 1934. Listen to her boasting of the class being the largest one to ever enter M. C. H. S. as Freshmen. How she glows with pride when she tells of the dramatic ability presented in the musical comedy “Tulip Time” by the two Freshmen stars. She becomes serious as she mentions the athletic ability displayed by our future athletes in both track and basketball. She is turning over the program to John R. Kidd. He gives a vivid account of the Sophomore’s exploits under the sponsorship of Miss Rush and Mr. Ballard. He forgets to tell about his own athletic feats shown on the varsity team, though. “Purple Towers’’ also is acted by two Sophomore actors, he says. As his time grows short, Mary Margaret Fick steps in front of the microphone. My! She has so much to say about the Juniors that she can scarcely tell it all. The Junior play “Tightwad” was a huge success under the leadership of Miss Atwell. “Sailor Maids was also well represented by the Juniors. The event of the season was the Junior-Senior Reception given in a garden laden with flowers. The girls appeared in garden frocks and the boys in light trousers. The Juniors won first place in the Inter-Class athletics which made them very proud. Ah! The time is ebbing away. The ultimate moment has come. Lavere Gregory, faithful president of the Seniors, has arrived on the air. In a modulated and dignified voice, he describes their activities. The famous basketball team consisted almost entirely of Seniors while track depends upon them. Dramatic talents are still in the lead in “The Gypsy Rover.” “Broken Dishes” appeared with a clatter and a bang of victory. The Illohmet Staff is thoroughly represented by Seniors, too. As he continues to talk the final bell rings and he steps back from the microphone. He is half-sorrowful and half-joyful as he thinks of the past, present, and the future of the class of 1934. Page Four LOUISE AIKENS “The girl with the smile is the girl worth while.” DALE ANDERSON “He did nothing in particular, but he was complete.” REID ARRISON “He talks little, hears much, and keeps unpleasant things to himself. WALEN BARGER “Apollo in a track suit.” HILDA BESS “Ever pleasant, pure and sweet A friend to all whom she doth meet.” ROSE WILMA BLACK “She is always happy and causes happiness in others.” EDWARD BORMAN “Of all my father’s family I love myself best.” ESTHER BREMER “In thy face I see honor, truth and loyalty.” NAOMI K. BREMER “I’ll bet the mail carrier wishes I wasn’t so popular.” RUTH BREMER “I don't talk much, but I think a lot.” CORNELIUS BUDDENBAUM “I’ll awake some morning and find myself famous.” EUGENE BUTLER “Oh! He’s tall and dark and very handsome.” CHARLES CAGLE “Anybody can be slow, but everybody can’t get by with it as Red does. JAMES COMPTON “Men of few words are the best men.” LEONARD COPLEY “A rattling fliver gathers no women.” Page Five GEO. COVINGTON “I wont’ worry and I never hurry.” JAMES CRAIN “None but himself could be his equal.” EDITH DUNN “A friend to many; a foe to none.” GEORGE ESTES “A happy-go-lucky fellow.” H. A. EVANS “Let’s argue — anything for an argument.” HELEN BATSON “One whom we all adore.” ROSALIE FRAZIER “I lead my life the only way, I sleep all night and half the day.” ALBERTA FULLMER “A quiet nature with various charms.” ALINE GANDY “To know her is to love her.” HELEN GILLESPIE “She’s classy and she’s neat But best of all she’s sweet.” WALTER GILLESPIE “Just because a man doesn’t say much is no sign he has nothing to say.” MARY FRANCES GOODALL “Gentlemen prefer blondes.” RALPH GREEN “Ready for services, loyal to friends.” MARY ELLEN GURLEY “Born to soothe distress and lighten care.” GENEVA HANELINE “A smile for all—ah, yes, a wink.” Page Six HELEN HARPER “Of all the days in the year she likes Easterday best.” HAZEL HEDDEN “Just look at those eyes.” CARL HILLE “Everything a country boy should be.” ALICE HUNERKOCK “I kiss no boys, not even one, I do not even know how it is done.” MARSHALL INMAN “Who could look at me and think I am ignorant.” HELEN JAMES “Then she talked; Ye Gods! How she did talk.” WAYMOND JENKINS “When it comes to Latin he’s always ready—to go home.” VELDA JESSING “A friend to all.” LORRAINE JOHNSON “She is small in physique, but large in thoughts.” LOREN KIRKPATRICK ‘When love and duty clash Let duty go to smash.” JOHN R. KIDD “As an athlete he’s a little lower than the angels, but among the stars.” HELEN KOTTER “A smile and she’s made another friend.” Chazel krugerJ) TheTe‘s sorfTeth i i lething about her you just can’t resist.” KERMIT KRUGER “Men like me are hard to find.” LUSTER LEUKERING “I am the downfall of the ladies.” Page Seven DOROTHY MAIN “A mind not much the worse for wear. MARIE MARKUS “She does the thoughtful things which others leave undone.” JAMES MATTHEWS “When I start a thing I’ll finish it, or die in the attempt. PAUL MAY He'll never have a headache caused from studying too much. MARION PHYLLIS MILLER Exceedingly quiet, except when she talks.'’ WILBURN MORRIS “Mermet claims him.” MARY HESTER NAVE “She never saw a stranger.” ALVIN OAKES “No one would know it, but once I was bashful.” THELMA OLIVER “She has the right spirit.” JOHN PAUST “If hot air brought a price he would be a millionaire.” DAN PARK “D” is for Dan, who is bashful and shy. But all in all, he’s a pretty fine guy. GORDON RAMSAY “If music be the food of love, play on.” ROY REEVES “Some day a Scout Executive he’ll be. HENRIETTA RIEPE ‘I’m here for business.” LEONARD RIEPE “Leonard’s industrious and steady.” Page Eight GEORGE RICE “His own boss.’’ GAIL ROBERTS “He knows his onions in bookkeeping.” GEORGE ROGERS “The greatest men are never known in history.” JUNE ROE “I stick to a thing until I get there.” MARY ROSE “It‘s nice to be natural when you are naturally nice.” RUTH RUGGLES “Oh, how we admire her musical talent (on the sax).” CLYDE RUSSELL “A titter, a giggle, a dash, And then a mad, wild dash.” ELVIS SEARLES “Greater men than I may have lived —but I doubt it.” MERLE SCOTT “Her voice is weak, but her mind is strong.” GEORGE SHELTON “Happy am I, from care I'm free.” HESCAL SLEETER “Life is short, and so am I.” MODENA SMITH “Nature was kind to her.” ELIZABETH TECKENBROCK “Who says nothing makes no mistakes.” OTIS TECKENBROCK “Beware! I may do something sensational yet.” GRACE TRAMPE “As full of spirit as the month of May.” Page Nine CHARLES TURNER “We admire his woman hatredism.” RUBY VAUGHN Honor and stability—the source of success. THELMA WALLACE “Full of hard work and good fun.” HAROLD WATERS “By asking foolish questions he takes up the recitation time.” WILLIE LEE WALTERS “Energy and persistance conquer all things.” CAROLYN WISEMAN “C” is for Carolyn, a gal full of fun, Carolyn and fun are the same one. ALICE WIEDEMAN “Contentment furnishes plenty of enjoyment.” HERMAN WIEDEMAN “A charter member of the Bachelor’s Club.” LORENE WILCOX “She's shy but she has a temper.” MILDRED WILSON “Curly hair, She’ll save someone a hairdresser’s expense.” HELEN WOODWARD “Her ambition reaches to a great height.” BILLIE F. YOST A sudden rush from the stairway, a sudden raid from the hall. MARGIANNA YOST “Quiet, unassuming and lady-like, That’s Margianna.” JAMES FITCHPATRICK “The best of men have ever loved repose.” Page Ten Last IDill and Testament We, the class of 1934 of Metropolis Community High School, in the county of Massac and the state of Illinois, being blessed with reasonable intelligence and a desire to aid lesser creatures do hereby create, ordain and sanction this, our last will and testament. After the payment of all debts and lawful claims, we request that the remainder of our wealth be dispensed with as follows: To the class of 35 we leave the task of becoming shining examples for the Freshmen (as we were.) To the class of 36 we leave the work of making money for the event of the year, the Junior-Senior Reception. To the class of 37 we leave the joy of no longer having the title “just a green Freshie.” . To the oncoming class of 38, we leave our dignified manner and good behavior. To the faculty as a whole we leave the task of producing another class as witty, brilliant, mischievous, individualistic, and most important of all, as efficient as ours. To our trust-worthy janitors we leave an abundant supply of chewing gum, all bands, and the fancy designs scratched on the assembly desks. I, Helen Kotter, hereby will my ability to keep Joppa boys in training to Nell Rose Moreland. I, Modena Smith, will my ability to keep up in bookkeeping to John Collard. I, “Watt” Gillespie, will my ability to get all bunged up in the old pig-skin game to next year's star athlete, Chad. Zettler. I, George Rice, will to anyone feeling in the mood, my gift of writing poetry to the “ferns of M. C. H. S. I, Merle Scott, will to anyone provided with an excess supply of energy the right to hold heated arguments with next year’s American History, “Prof. I, Ruth Bremer, hereby will to Verna Verbarg my galoshes, so that next year when she no longer has anyone to bring her to school she will not have to spend her money for unneccessary shoe shines. I, James Matthews, leave my position, as forward on the “Farmers’ to Barber Frazee, provided that he score 20 points per game against the “Bugchasers, as I didn’t. I, Edith Dunn, hereby will my ability to be absent from school on Mondays and to sleep in the assembly to Helen Evers. I sincerely hope that she makes as great success of both as I have. I, Alberta Fullmer, will to Margaret Scott my naturally bright disposition and also my much mis-used business training book. I, Elizabeth Teckenbrock, will to Dorothy Jessing my place in Latin class, on one condition: that she persuades Miss Rush to talk loud enough to cause a general disturbance throughout the building. I, Esther Bremer, will my shortest pencil to Golda Wallace providing that she uses it to a good advantage in short hand. I, James Crain, will to J. H. Craig all of my surplus fat so that he will not be obliged to remain under weight hereafter. (I suggest he consume grape nerts.) I, Leonard Copley, do hereby will and bequeath to Paul “Shep” Sheppard my ability to be a good boy while taking girls uptown. I, Kermit Kruger, wishing no harm to befall her, will to Bobbie Park two walking canes as a precaution against falling down, especially when chasing boys. I, Ruby Vaughn being in my sane mind do hereby bequeath my dimples to Bill Jeffords, as he seems to have such an interest in them. I, Billie Yost, do hereby will and bequeath my seat on the visitors side of the gym to Alice June Causer, provided she manages to sit next to the handsome males of the opposing team. I, Rose Black, being of sane and sound mind, (I hope) do hereby will and bequeath my ability to play a mellophone in the band to my shadow, Marbeth Heath, providing she fill this position and keeps up my side-lines as well as I have. I. Mary Ellen Gurley, do hereby will my nights of worry over Civics, English IV, and Typing I, to Peggy Morgan, providing she can take it. I, Helen Gillespie, will my ability to listen to Wayne King's broadcast in an out of town Plymouth to no one. I, Naomi Bremer, leave to anyone capable, the chance to hold interest in both Vienna and Alton. I. Francie Goodall, do hereby bequeath to Helen Buchanon my vanity case, providing she manages to raise as much protest as I have and yet get by with it. I, “Piffle” Miller, being sober for once, gladly will to Hazel Harper my ability to fall down practically every flight of stairs in M. C. H. S. and still maintain a graceful position. I, Alvin Oakes, will my job of digging up dirt centered around M. C. H. S., for the Illohmet to Joseph “Dog Simmons. I, Hazel Kruger, do hereby offer to anyone having a letter man in foot ball my profound sympathy while watching a game. The suspense is terrible. I, William Luster Leukering being for once sane and two-thirds sober, do will and bequeath to Bill Jeffords my ability to survive six wrecks in one Ford and keep the Ford and chauffeur in shape to make the trip to the glove factory region. I, Elvis Searles, do hereby will the moss in my back yard to George F. Sullivan, so that he may always have it with him. I. Dorotha Main, will my success in providing my friends with conveyance to the “Black Cat after school to Helen Mae Dunn. I, Walen Barger, will my book on “Success with the Women” to Joe “Ladies’ Man Simmons. I, Eugene Butler, will to “the three Muskateers Park, Nave and Gillespie, any of the finer opposite sex, which I may have been obliged to leave behind. I, Louise Aikens will my voluptous curves to Dorothy Daly with the hope that she may develop a more perfect Mae West “figger.” I, Lavere “Wally” Gregory, will my position as Fern Neikamp's boxing instructor to none other than Milford “Barrell’ Dunmier. May he long survive the punches. I, Helen James, being of sane and sober mind, do hereby bequeath my ability to argue with Joe Simmons on personal and non-personal subjects and still remain one of his best friends to anyone willing to undertake the task. I. Mildred Wilson, do hereby will to Irene Lowry my ability to be absent from school and get by with it. I, Harvey Evans, leave nothing in general to no one in particular because I haven’t very much of anything and need all I have. I, Velda Jessing, will my quiet ways and “my interest upstairs to Mary Louise Busclaus hoping she succeeds better than I have in the past. I, Willie Lee Walters, leave my ability to furnish Marion P. Miller with information concerning a certain Chicagoan to anyone liking a good quiz. I, Margianna Yost, hereby will my quiet and bashful manner to Hazel Flanagan, hoping she will appear more domestic in Miss Steers Home Ec. class. I, Lorene Wilcox, will to Grace Baker my shorthand book, providing she promises to make better grades than I did. I, Mary Rose, will to Marbeth Heath the five minutes which I daily devoted to study. May she grow wiser and still keep her strength. I, Hazel Hedden, will my ability to never recite in class and still not receive a red grade to Gladys Benjamin. I, Marie Markus, do hereby will and bequeath all of my excess knowledge of Chemistry to Joe Simmons, with the hope he profits by it. I, Gordon Ramsay, will my sunshiny smile to Carleton Hunnerkock and my cough to Francis Kidd. I trust they will struggle through life with a cough and a smile. I, Hilda Bess, hereby will to Josephine Lytton my typewriter. Long may she pound the keys. I, Rosalie Frazier, will my position as entertainer in Miss Wicecarver’s Bus. Tr. class to anyone feeling in great need of employment. I, “Bohonsky “Einstein Zettler, the Wonder Boy, who knows all and sees all, being in sober but unsound mind do hereby will and bequeath my position as assistant to Mr. Oliver Huston Tripp to no one. This being my last will, I advise Fern Neikamp and Alice Morrow to can some of the chatter and wise-cracks. I wish them to be faultless in their second year in Chemistry. I, Ralph Green, will the use of the Sousaphone and my place in the band to J. T. Culp. May he give the band rhythm as it’s never had before. I, Grace Trampe, do hereby will to Frances Riepe my happy school days, hoping that the remainder of her term in this great institution, M. C. H. S., may furnish her with a memory as full of pleasure as mine. I, Johnny Paust, in my sane and sober mind, do hereby bequeath to Pat Park my ability to sell nothing for something to anybody who cares nothing about the something he buys. I, Harold Waters, do hereby will four inches of my height to “Tubby Batson, thinking as how it might reduce the circumference of his waistline and add to the altitude. I, George Rogers, will my number twelve shoes to Barber Frazee. May he never stumble. I, Waymond Jenkins, being sane, sober and consicous all at once, doth hereby at this appointed hour and date will my ability to grow tall to Arthur Dennis, so’s Mr. Tripp can see who is presenting a slip at the desk without standing up and looking over. I, Gail Roberts, will one-fourth the volume of my voice to Miss Rush and all of the girls in my Latin II class, so that despite the noise on the outside they may all converse in Latin and Miss Rush won’t have a chance of not being heard. I, Marshall Innman, will to Ralph Chase my inability to keep cool when confronted by a dominating female. I, June Roe, leave to any discouraged Seniors of next year’s class a detailed explanation of Shakespeare’s Macbeth. You can’t escape it. I, Dan Park, will my ability as a manual training instructor to my little brother so that he may continue teaching next year’s teacher the art of Manual Training. I, “Perk Nave, leave to the gals of my “ole Alma Mammy” my little brother, Jimmy, and to the school in general my gift of gab and my sound proof laughter. But my past year’s interest in S. I. N. U., the U. of I. and the downtown “Shamrock” I leave to no woman. I, Paul May, will my dimples to J. H. Craig. I, Wilburn Morris, do hereby will my ability to make good grades under Miss Lawrence to any oncoming senior. I, Charles Turner, being in sound, sober and sane mind, will my ability to star for the Ag. club to “Diddy” Kidd. I ,Ruth Ruggles, will to Roberta Dollar my lack of speech to save her many embarrassing moments during band practice. I, Herman Weideman, will to anyone having a Waterbury” in Manual Training my ability to broadcast the time. I, George Shelton, do hereby bequeath to Carleton Hunnerkock my ability to stand up and recite in English IV with nary a stammer. I, Alice Weideman, will my bashful ways to Hazel Alliston, providing she always remain modest and shy. I, Edward Borman .will my favorite role of ole pappy in the Jr. and Sr. plays to anyone able to stoop and my ability to be a dignified Senior to Fern Niekamp (and Lord knows she needs it.) I, James Fitzpatrick, will “Shorty” Gillespie my book on “Making recitations in English IV.” I, Thelma Wallace, leave my golden locks to anyone with the determination to become a blond. Therefore exterminating the use of peroxide as well as hair with as many colors as Joseph’s wellknown coat. I, Odis Teckenbrock, do hereby will my red, wavy locks to Bill Miller, but my model T Ford and passengers to no one. I, Leonard Riepe, will to Omar DeJarnett my Ford; on one condition: that he always manages to have all space occupied. I, Helen Woodward, will to Margaret Bean my ability to manage the 8th period library. That is, if she doesn’t have a bad case of nerves. I. Alice Hunnerkock, will my place in Physics to anyone willing to make new discoveries and feel superior to students like “Einstein” Zettler. I, Lorraine Johnson, will Sterling Doyle my ability to stay short, with the hope that he may find it less difficult to keep tab on certain people. I, Roy Reeves, will to anybody who is foolish enough to take it. my ability to get caught chewing gum in Miss Wicecarver’s class, and leave all that has been wasted already to the janitor. I, Dale Anderson, do hereby will and bequeath my front seat in Senior English to Joseph “Dog” Simmons, hoping that he may avoid as many tests as possible. I, John R. Kidd, do hereby will my athletic ability to Arthur “Runt” Dennis. I. Charles Cagle, being in a sane and sound mind do hereby will my ability to run a mile and my English IV book to “Doc” Jones, provided he use both of them to a good advantage. I, Cornelius Buddenbaum, being of an insane and sober mind, will and bequeath to Paul “Shop Shappard one-half bottle of Mange Cure, used for dogs only. I, George Estes, will my position on the Hi-Y basketball team to Geo. “Skeet-er” Miller. I, Henriett Riepe, will my dignified manner to any young freshman who wishes to improve. I, James “Shadow” Compton, being in sound and sober mind, do hereby will and bequeath my detective ability to Loyd “One Punch” Lambert. I, George Covington, hereby will my football pants to “Barrell House” Dun-mire to practice football in; providing he reduces his waist line and will not wear his long-handles underneath them. (Continued on page 31) Class (fpropheci] Chicago, 111., May 31, 1950 Principal M. C. H. S. Metropolis, 111. Dear Sir: You have asked me to investigate the lives of those who graduated from M. C. H. S. in 1934. I have carefully carried out your request to the best of my ability and after weeks of careful searching I have prepared the following report: The president of the class, LaVere Gregory, carrying out his military career, is now a general in the U. S. Army and is in charge of the fortifications of the Panama Canal. The vice-president, Mary M. Fick, is now chief air hostess on one of American Airways’ largest transatlatic air liners. Robert “Bohonsky” Zettler, the boy who hoarded all the money of this class, is one of the world’s leading scientists. His latest theory is in the fifth dimension. One of the foremost members of the class and its great athlete is now head football coach at Notre Dame University. This distinguished person is none other than John R. Kidd. Carl Hille, following in his father’s footsteps, is pastor of one of New York City’s largest churches. Marion Phyllis Miller is a sensation in the “Windy City.” She is the foremost fan dancer at the Blue Devil Night Club. During one of my jaunts around Chicago I ran across the names of “Spider” Anderson and “Pug” Roberts in one of the precinct police station’s rogues gallery. These two boys have turned out to be two of Chicago’s biggest gangsters. The chief detective of the Chicago homocide squad is none other than James “Shadow” Compton. Helen James is a clerk in one of the Woolworth stores in Chicago. Wilma Washam is a telephone operator for the Bell Telephone Company. The captain of the Cunard Line's largest ocean greyhound is George Coving-ten. One of the deck hands on his ship is “Frenchy” Waters. George Shelton is in charge of one of Hershey’s large dairy farms. One of the distinguished members of the class, Edward Borman, is president of the Chase National Bank in New York. Leonard Copley is president of the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company. Helen Kotter is a special nurse in the Mayo Bros, largest hospital. Merle Scott has turned out to be one of Southern Illinois greatest political figures. She is now holding the office of U. S. Senator, and believe it or not, she is a Republican. Dan Park is Curtiss Wright’s chief airplane designer, as well as one of the country’s best pilots. Leonard Riepe is one of the Broadway’s playboys or Beau Brummels. He may be seen in almost any of New York’s exclusive night clubs. Kermit Kruger has never left the farm. He is one of Massac County’s many small farmers. Walen “Lightin” Barger is a bar tender in the Silver Slipper Night Club in Metropolis. Walter Gillespie and Hazel Kruger have ended up in Hollywood. They are two of the screen’s best lovers under screen names of Ralph Gilbert and Alice Fay. George Rice is nothing more than an adventure seeker, a soldier of fortune. He is now hunting big game in Africa. Gene Butler's autograph is now in demand as much as a drink of water on the Sahara. He is in pictures now what Clark Cable and George Raft were in good old 1934. Naomi Bremer is a librarian in the Carnegie Public Library in Boston, Mass. Charles Turner is serving with the U. S. Marines in South America. Mary F. Goodall is busy taking care of her family of three sets of twins. Her personal maid is Louise “Ginger Aikens. Mary Hester Nave is a news reporter for the New York Herald. Rosalie Frazier is the proprietoress of the Frazier Funeral Home in St. Paul, Minn. Alice Hunnerkoch and Elizabeth are running a quiet little book store in Cleveland, Ohio. Geneva Haneline is running her little grocery store back in her home town. One of the greatest engineers now living is a graduate of M. C. H. S. and a member of the class of 34—Reid Arrison. His greatest achievement was the building of the Buffalo Rock Dam, the largest of its kind in the world. Clyde Russell is a spy in the U. S. secret service. She is now in Japan. Helen Gillespie has taken up dentistry. She boasts of being the only woman dentist in San Francisco. James Matthews is ambassador for the U. S. to Greece, while Elvis Searles is ambassador to France. Otis Teckenbrock is dean of agriculture at the University of Illinois. Hilda Bess is head operator of the Bell Telephone office in Atlanta, Georgia. Esther Bremer is head waitress in the Crill room of the Hotel Chicsa in Memphis. Cornelius Buddenbaum is running a poultry farm north of Metropolis in dear old Massac County. Modena Smith is working as a stenographer for a large firm in Evansville, Ind. Grace Trampe is on a prolonged trip abroad with a class of Ancient History students. James Crain is a high pressure salesman for the Akron Rubber Company. James can sell anything, including himself. Alberta Fullmer is teaching sociology in Brookport High School. Ruth Bremer is a lawyer in Reno. She specializes in divorces. Charles Cagle is postmaster of the Choate Post Office. Edith Dunn has done her duty for the good old U. S. A. She is working with the Red Cross in the plague stricken area in Africa. George Estes is a technician for the largest pipe organ builders in the county. His job is to assemble these mammoth instruments. Aline Gandy is the proprietress of a beauty salon in Columbus, Ohio. Ralph Green is minister of the Rockefeller church in New York City. Hazel Hedden is court reporter in the federal court at East St. Louis. Dorothy Main is a new sensation for the radio fans. She sings with “Ace Paust’s orchestra. “Ace” is also a member of the class of 34. Margianna Yost is an expert aeriolist in a large circus. Ruby Vaughn is a matron in the Illinois Women’s Prison at Joliet. Thelma Wallace is writing articles for the Good Housekeeping Magazine. Willie Lee Walters is a model in Paris designer’s salon. Roy Reeves, the boy who delivered papers back in 1934, is now editor of the Chicago Tribune. Gordon Ramsay and Waymond Jenkins are on his staff of reporters. June Roe is private secretary to Paul May, the big oil magnet. Paul is considered the sixth richest man in the U. S. Thelma Oliver is selling candy in a downtown department store in St. Louis. Luster Leukering is driving a yellow cab in Detroit. Since he has been on the force he has wrecked 17 cabs. For this reason he has been given the name of “Yellow Devil.” H. A. Evans has been appointed to one of the highest offices in this country and is the youngest man in history to serve in this office, that of U. S. Supreme Court Justice. George Rogers is an electrical engineer for NBC. Henrietta Riepe is one of the few woman lawyers in the state of Illinois. Ruth Ruggles is teaching school in Georgia. She has a quiet little school of about 14 pupils about 50 miles out of Atlanta. Helen Harper is living a quiet married life in her old home town. Her son, Loren Jr., is now attending Helen’s Almamater, M. C. H. S. Rose Wilma Black recently got a divorce from a well known aircraft designer and is planning a trip to the Orient. Mary Rose is teaching English in Brookport High School. Hescal Sleeter is a challenger for the feather weight boxing crown. His next bout will be sometime this coming July. Mary Ellen Gurley is living the life of an old maid with her cat and dog. She has never left her old home town. Loren Kirkpatrick is manager of the upper Kroger store in Metropolis. Wilburn Morris, the boy from Mermet, has recently been elected mayor of that fair city. Marie Markus is teaching Home Ec., in Round Knob district High School. James Fitzpatrick has been chosen one of the ten swimmers to represent the U. S. in the 1950 Olympics. Marshall “Wrecker” Inman is a demonstrator for the Ford Motor Company. He gets his middle name from his experiencew ith fords. If a car can be torn up “Wrecker” can do it. Billie Yost has also gone in for pictures. She has made the movie fans forget there ever was a Mae West. Herman Wiedeman now goes under the name of Dr. Wiedeman. He is a noted chiropracter and surely knows how to use his hands. For some unknown reason I have found that most of his patients are of the weaker sex. Helen Woodard also has the handle Dr. attached to her name, but along a different line. She is a dentist, and her office is in Philadelphia. Velda Jessing has turned out to be quite a literary figure, having already written seven books. She also writes articles for Cosmopolitan and Reader’s Digest. Mildred Wilson is a buyer for Marshall Field and Company in Chicago. Carolyn Wiseman is an afficiency expert for Armour and Co. Lorraine Johnson is a columnist on the Kansas City Times. Alice Wiedeman is conducting a scries of cooking schools in various parts of the country. Lorene Wilcox is a society editor of the St. Louis Post Dispatch. Helen Batson is a great sculptress, she has given Metropolis many of her greatest works. The above report is true to the best of my knowledge, and I hope I have fully carried out your request. Sincerely yours, ALVIN OAKES, Private Investigator. 4 Junior Class The Junior Class of 35 consisting of forty-eight members met at the beginning of the school year and elected the following officers: Lillian Lukens, President, Alice Morrow, Vice President: and Charles Zettler, secretary and treasurer. The outstanding events of the year were the Junior-Senior Reception and the class play, “Loose Ankles.” The class adequately financed its activities through concessions at the basket ball and football games, by sponsoring a picture show, serving luncheons at the County Teachers’ Institute, selling magic slates, and through ticket receipts of the play. JUNIOR CLASS MEMBERS Alice Ashley Loren James Gladys Benjamin Houston Jones Jesse Carter Elmo Karraker John Clark Francis Kidd John Collard Loyd Lambert Maxine Collie Irene Lowery Stewart Cooper Lillian Lukens Arnold DeJarnett Escol Mathis William Dunmier Lena Moll Helen Evers Peggy Morgan Louis Flanagan Alice Morrow Hazel Flanagan Harry McDaniel Barbar Frazee Fern Niekamp Elaine Golightly Paul Ragsdale Elsie Graman Joe Simmons Sam Gurley Loyd Scott Clyde Hankins Velma Steele Edward Haynes Vernon Steele Mary A. Hardy Goldie Wallace Mary Harper James Walters Davis C. Heath Otis Waters John Housman La Vere Wiedeman Carlton Hunnerkoch Frank Wilson Imogene Hille Charles Zettler Page Seventeen Sophomore Class CLASS OFFICERS President, Russel Hamer — Secretary, Rebecca Main Vice-President, Edith Helmantoler — Treasurer, Paul Mescher Anderson, Edna Baker, Grace Belt, Theodore Botts, Clemmons Brandon, George Bremer, Helen Brown, Helen Busclas, Mary Carlock, Fred Collard, Robert Compton, Don Cosby, Roy Covington. John Culp, J. T. Davis, Warren Dennis, Arthur Doyle, Henry Dunn, Helen Mae Durham, Sarah Elam, Laverne Frink, Marjorie Fitchpatrick, William Gandy, Flo Gillespie, Clarence Green, Anne Gurley, Dorothy Hankins, Wilburn Helm, Robert Hillebrand, Willard Hogue, Walter Hornthrop, Florence Huss, Catherine Inman, Lloyd James, Blanche Jeffords, Delores Jeffords, William Jessings, Dorothy King, William LaVeau, Louis Lippert, Leon Lukens, Minnie Lytton, Josephine Maedeker, Mary L. Moorman, John Mann, Earl Miller, George Miller, William Mitchell. Mildred Moreland, Nell Rose Moseley, Eleanor Nave, James Owens, Ina Park, Claire Park, Roberta Parkins, Louis Parks, Eldon Riepe, Frances Riepe, Loren Rogers, Claude Rogers, Dorothy Schneeman, Margaret Seibold, Valeria Spenser, George Spore, Howard Starkes, James Stegman, Dorothy Still, Mattie Teckenbrock, Howard Trail, Leroy Triplett, Mary E. Trovillion, Medill Verbarg, Verna Waters, Otis Wells, Walter Williams, Marseilaise Wilson, Harley Page Eighteen Freshman Class President, Ralph Chase — Vice President, Madge Cummins Secretary and Treasurer, Sherman Gillespie. Sponsor, Ora Rush The class of ’37 completed a very successful year. They won the Inter-class Basketball Tournament by defeating the Junior and Senior. The class held a carnival which was a great success. Many attractions were offered and all who attended it enjoyed it greatly. Several athletes have been found among the Freshmen, who are expected to help win many games for the school. Elizabeth Walters and Ralph Chase were chosen the most popular boy and girl of the class. Much of the success of the class was due to the untiring efforts of the faculty sponsor, Miss Rush. Page Nineteen cThe ( personnel of the Band Conductor, Richard A. Fiocchi Drum Major, Joe Simmons CLARINETS CORNETS Clemmens Botts Edward Borman Omer De Jarnett Louis La Veau SAXOPHONES Roberta Dollar Robert Helm Russel Ramer Billy Renehan Ruth Ruggles BARITONES Morris Moseley H. A. Evans BASSES Ralph Green J. T. Culp Robert Collard J. H. Craig Earl Mann Esco Mathis Alvin Oakes Louis Parkins Eldon Parks John Paust La Vere Wiedemann ALTOS, MELLOPHONES Rose Wilma Black Marbeth Heath James Walters DRUMS Medill Trovillion John Collard Robert Watson Page Twenty “The Qypsi] Rouer” “The Gypsy Rover,” musical comedy, was claimed to be the climax of the events of the year. It was presented by the Music Department on the evening of April 12, 1934. The choruses and cast were composed chiefly of the Glee Club and Band Members and the choice of the entire school. The stage settings and the costumes helped very much to create the real gypsy life” atmosphere. The play was built around Rob, The Gypsy Rover, who was stolen by Meg, his nurse. He grew to manhood amongst the gypsies. His real identity becomes revealed and he falls heir to a large estate. He then becomes a music composer, a friend of the Prince of England, and a social lion. He woos and wins Lady Constance Marten-dale for his wife and they live happily ever after. SUPERVISION Director__________________________________________________________ Richard A. Fiocchi Pianist ________________________________________________________ Mary Alberta Hardy CAST Meg, An old gypsy _________________________________________________ Billie Yost Marto, Meg’s husband__________________________________________La Vere Gregory Zara, The belle of the Gypsy Camp___________________________________Merle Scott Sinfo, A gypsy lad in love with Zara_______________________________ John Paust Rob, The Gypsy Rover_______________________________________________ James Crain Lady Constance, Daughter of Sir Geo.--------------------------------Wava Lambert Lord Craven, An English top, “Doncha know”________________________Edward Borman Sir Geo. Martendale, An English Country Gent________________________ Sam Gurley Nina, Sir George’s second daughter_________________________________Roberta Park Capt. Jerome, English Captain ------------------------------------- Henry Doyle Sir Toby Lyon, A society butterfly_________________________________ Gail Roberts McCorkle, A song publisher of London_________________________________Joe Simmons Lackey, Butler of Sir Geo. ............................ -.........Harold Waters Page Twentg-one Senior Class Play BROKEN DISHES Presented by Senior Class Characters Cyrus Bumpstead, Edward Borman. Jenny Bumpstead, Billie Frances Yost. Myra Bumpstead, Geneva Haneline. Mabel Bumpstead, Helen Harper. Elaine, Marion Phyllis Miller. Bill Clark, Hescal Sleeter. Chester Armstrong, Alvin Oakes Rev. Strong, Gail Roberts. Detective, Waymond Jenkins. Sam Green, Harold Waters. A short synopsis follows: The Bumpsteads were having great trouble both in finance and in their home problems, for Jenny, the mother, just ruled the family. Cyrus, the hen-pecked father, always had to give in to her wishes, for she always reminded him that she wished she had married Chester Armstrong, in her girlhood days. Her continuous talking about his nice ways won Myra and Mabel to her side, but Elaine clung to her father. Hence, Jenny did not approve of Elaine’s sweetheart, Bill Clark, a delivery clerk. But they were secretly married while Jenny was not there for Cyrus had given his approval. In the meantime, a stranger showed up and identified himself as none other than Chester Armstrong. Jenny and her two daughters, Myra and Mabel tried to show all the hospitatilty that they possibly could. Cyrus even agrees to step back and let him have Jenny. But about this time it was proven that he was a crook. Jenny then admits that all she had said about him was false. She realizes that she has treated Cyrus cruelly and she even now approves of Elaine’s marriage, and the curtain goes down with Cyrus boss in his own home and the whole family happy. Page Twentg-two Junior Play “Loose Ankles, a farce-comedy in three acts, was presented by the Junior Class on May 10, and was a huge success. The very interesting plot was as follows: Two ladies who are not as young as they once were engage a couple of young fellows who can dance well to take them around town. Living in the cheap flat with these fellows is a third who is also poor but has scruples. He is finally secured as escort for the older woman’s neice, and promptly falls head-over-heels in love with her. It develops that if the niece, Ann, marries before a certain time she will inherit a fortune. Her aunts are planning to marry her to Linton Hawkins, who has a rather unsavory reputation. But the hero. Gill Barry, is the girl’s choice, and his friends back him up: so in the end he gets the girl, and she thereby falls heir to the fortune. THE CAST Ann Harper, Alice Morrow. Aunt Sara, Fern Niekamp. Aunt Katherine, Lillian Lukens. Betty Brent, Mary Harper. Frances, Peggy Morgan. Ethel, Elsie Graman. Jessica, Helen Evers. Agnes, her maid, Golda Wallace. Gil Barry, Vernon Steele. Major, Paul Ragsdale. Harvey, John Collard. S. O. S. Stotes, Lavere Wiedeman. Linton Hawkins, Charles Zettler. Terry, Clyde Hankins. Andy, Sam Gurley. Jasper Houghton, Otis Waters. Page Twenty-three The Docational Rome Economics Club President_____________Mary Margaret Fick Vice President___________Naomi Bremer Secretary___________Marian Phyllis Miller Treasurer ___________________ Ina Owens Reporter___________Mary Frances Goodall Sponsor---------------------Miss Steers Louise Aikens Mildred Mitchel Edna Anderson Eleanor Wade Moseley Hilda Bess Alice Morrow Rose Black Mary H. Nave Dorothy Daly Fern Niekamp Wardena Dunn Roberta Park Helen Gillespie Clyde Russel Dorothy Gurley Grace Trampe Geneva Haneline Wilma Washam Mary Harper Willie Lee Walters Helen James Elizabeth Walters Hazel Kreuger Carolyn Wiseman Margianna Yost The Vocational Home Economics Club of M. C. H. S. was organized to form a connecting link with the home, the community and the home economics department. It has been a functioning organization. Eligibility to membership is based on grades and selection. The varied activities of the club have been many. Among the major ones are; sponsorship of a Christmas party for the first grade girls, furnishing the program for the American Home Department of the Woman’s club and for Girl’s Home Makers Department of the Daughter’s American Revolution, Co-operation with the American Legion in making flags for the Red Cross Drive, Clothing Demonstration for Camp Fire Girls, preparation and serving of the banquet for the Twenty-fourth District meeting of the Illinois Federation of Woman’s Club. Page Twentg-four Hi-1] Club President_______________________________________ La Vere Gregory Vice President_______________________________________ John R. Kidd Secretary__________________________________________Charles Zettler Treasurer __________________________________________ James Crain Sergeant -at-Arms _________________________________ Walter Gillespie Faculty Sponsor_____________________________________Oliver H. Tripp ROSTER Dan Park Alvin Oakes John R. Kidd La Vere Gregory Charles Zettler James Crain Walter Gillespie Ed. Borman Loren Kirkpatrick H. A. Evans Robert Zettler Loren Kirkpatrick Charles Cagle George Rice Sam Gurley Johnny Paust George Estes For the past five years the Hi-Y Club has been growing as a powerful factor for good in the high school. Its membership is open to purposeful junior and senior boys. The present membership represents leaders in all branches of school activities. The Club has for its purpose: To Create mainain and extend throughout the school and community high standards of Christian Character. Its slogan is: Clean speech, Clean athletics. Clean scholarship, and Clean living. Page Twentg-five Biology 01ub Agriculture Club Jfi ues £ fvzsioenn - S TTf t of r ti. Page Twentg-s lllohmet Staff Editor-in-Chief ___________________________________________ Edward Bormann Associate Editor _________________________________________________ Robert Helm Business Manager ------------------------------------------------- Alvin Oakes News Reporter _____________________________________________________ Dan Park Class Reporters Senior__________________________________________________Elizabeth Teckenbrock Junior____________________________________________________________ Mary Harper Sophomore_____________________________________________ Margaret Lou Schneeman Freshman_______________________________________________________Charles Hopson Sports Editor--------------------------------------------------Claude Shelton Humor Editors____________________________ Mary Frances Goodall, Golda Wallace Art and Printing____________________________Marsaillaise Williams, Reid Arrison Stenographers___________________________________ June Roe, Thelma Wallace Sponsor________________________________________________________lone Law ranee Page Twenty-seven Football Squad During the past football season at M. C. H. S. many great changes were made. All the games were played at night except the one with Murray, Ky., and consequently, Murray defeated Metroplois for the first time in three years, 20-0. Under the auspices and with the cooperation of the American Legion, the football field was equipped with giant flood lights, making it possible for Coach Schneeman’s Trojans to do away with the old custom of playing in the hot afternoon sun. Success wasn’t so sweet from the standpoint of games won, but from the experience and enthusiasm shown by the newcomers, a much stronger team will swing into action, wearing the red and white of M. C. H. S. next fall. Carterville defeated us 6-0 in the opening game. Then we battled Cairo to a 0-0 tie—this was really a great game, for both teams were in there fighting and giving their all. We were then defeated by a Murray strong Tiger eleven, but the following Friday the Trojans met and defeated Fornfelt, Mo. 13-12 in the greatest thriller of the entire season. Fornfelt presented one of the fastest all-around football teams to ever invade our local gridiron. Some excellent tackles by John R. Kidd and ball carrying by Zettler, the newly discovered full-back, saved the day for the red and white. Our next encounter was with Eldorado. They beat us 38-12 but only after one of the most grueling battles we encountered all season. The Eldorado lads were large and fast, they could really “sock ’em and rock ’em.’’ Anna beat us 21-12. Carmi beat us 6-0 to end the season. This was the last game for several of the regulars. The men who will graduate off of the squad this year are: John R. Kidd, Walter Gillespie, George Rice, Paul May, George Covington and James Fitzpatrick. These men deserve a great amount of credit for their participation and loyalty in athletics for their Alma Mater. Kidd. Rice and Gillespie are all three-letter men and will be missed greatly, as will all the others, when the next season for athletic contests rolls around. We wish them luck in whatever they do in the future. Page Tiventy-eight basketball Squad M. C. H. S. went through its third successive good season in basketball this year. Much of the success was due to the efforts of Coach Schneeman. The Trojan squad, composed of Kidd, Butler, Doyle, Rice, Barger, Haynes, Gillespie, Gurley, Zettler and Waters, won 20 out of the 24 season games. No team beat them twice during the season, each of the four teams which beat them away from home being trounced at home, with in all four cases, a doubled score. In addition the team played in eleven tournament games and won eight of them. They were beaten in tournament play only by Enfield 33-31, in the finals of the Eldorado Tournament; in the final game of the District Tournament by Rosiclare 40-34; and by Equality in the Sectional Tournament 33-16. Following is the heavy schedule which the Trojans went through, winning 28 out of the 35 games. A total of 1035 points were scored to their opponnents 686, an average of 28.8 to opponents 19.6; Metropol Mctropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol Metropol s 30—Belknap 10. s 23—Simpson 11. s 43—Paducah Independents 22. s 30—St. Joseph (Cairo) 13. s 27—Carrier Mills 8. s 41—Joppa 21. s 29—Tilghman (Paducah) 9. s 35—Heath, Ky. 24. s 38—Carmi 20. s 30—Joppa 8. s 31—Mound City 19. s 20—Vienna 21. s 20—Heath. Ky. 13. s 15—Carrier Mills 30. s 19—St. Joseph (Cairo) 21. s 36—Brookport 29. s 39—Cairo 21. 38—Cave-in-Rock 10. Metropolis 25—Tilghman (Paducah) 26. Metropolis 39—Vienna 23. Metropolis 32—Brookport 22. Metropolis 31—Carmi 7. Metropolis 22—Cairo 20. Metropolis 28—Mound City 23. Eldorado Invitational Tournament Metropolis 22—Equality 21. Metropolis 25—Vienna 13. Metropolis 31—Galatia 25. Metropolis 31—Enfield 33. County Tournament Metropolis 37—Joppa 21. Metropolis 51—Brookport 16. District Tournament Metropolis 51—New Burnside 12. Metropolis 57—Buncombe 17. Metropolis 26—Vienna 25. Metropolis 34—Rosiclare 40. Calendar of '33—’34 September 1—All green “Freshies learn to write their names and classify themselves. September—School Begins! Freshmen show how green they are. September 18—Teachers start work in full force. October 6—Monthly Tests! Much paper wasted. November 10—Armistice Day Program. Big pep session. November 16—Senior Play “Broken Dishes” goes over big before a large audience. November 30—Vacation and Turkey! What a combination. December 19—Senior Class has party at Gymnasium. December 22—Christmas Program by Home Ec. Department, vacation ahead. Merry Christmas! January 2—Back to prison again. January 14—Leaves begin to fly. January 15, 16, 17—Semester exams. Much ink, paper and energy consumed. January 26—Beginning of County Tournament. Take first place. February 14—Several girls become sore. Didn’t get the usual comics. February 23—Washington Program by Freshmen Class. February 26—Snow, Snow, everywhere. Girls start new fashion. Wear boys’ trousers to school. March 6, 7, 8, 9, 10—District Tournament held here. Not so good. Metropolis takes second place. April 12—Magician comes to school. Startles the girls with his lovely face. Operetta “Gypsy Rover.” April 13—Friday the Thirteenth. Over one hundred out of school. Everybody doing it, getting measles. April 16—Schneemen’s temper is aroused. Gives Civics classes a test. April 20—Another month gone. One month left of school. Teachers’ orders are “Work, work, work.” April 27—Ten year old boy gives program before assembly. Students become ashamed of their knowledge compared with his. April 30—Sullivan passes first two periods away by looking at his new watch. May 1—Spring Fever. Can’t concentrate. May 4—Junior Senior Reception. May 27—Baccalaurate sermon. May 30—Commencement. Hundley Electric £ hop GRUNOW Radio-—-Refrigerators Phone 138 Buick Garage E. C. LASSITER, KODAK FINISHING One Day Service 0has. uTlmlingmeijer Groceries A Complete Line of drove vies and V rod nee Last VJiW and Testament (Continued from Page 13) I, Aline Gandy, being in sane and sober mind do hereby bequeath my ability to ype fifty words per minute to my sis, Flo Gandy, hoping she can get along with Miss Wicecarver as well as I did. I, Clyde Russell, sane and sober for the first time in my life, do hereby will my ability to Bobbie Parks to talk to Sam Gurley the 2nd period, providing she keeps up the conversation as well as I have. I, Reid Arrison, leave my ability as practice teacher in Miss Lawrence’s English IV class to Joe Simmons, providing he put a damper on all foolishness and drown out all protest with his own wee voice. I, Marguerite Fick, will my interest in that class of students known as post graduates to no one. I, Hescal Sleeter, will my ability to make love on the stage to next year’s leading man in the senior play. I, Thelma Oliver, will my entire set of Senior books to any husky Freshman, providing he has the sufficient supply of vim, vigor and vitality needed to get them up to the locker. I, Geneva Haneline, will my ability to stay small to any one not wishing to add to the waistline; but my constant interest in a yellow roadster to no one. I, Carolyn Wiseman, do hereby will and bequeath my daily chats in the 6th period library toHelen Mae Dunn. I, Helen Batson, will Alice June Causer my ability to step lively and get there quickly. I, Helen Harper, will my ability as a soda jerker to any one having a businesslike boy friend. (Concluded on Page 32) Last IDill and Testament (Continued from Page 31) I Carl Hille, hereby will my title of “Everything a Country Boy Should Be” to anyone, if there be any, who is capable of filling the position. I, Wilma Washam, will my interest in a BarBQ stand west of town to no one and I defy anyone to try and take it. I, Loren Kirkpatrick, will the attention I receive to and from school to no one. Signed, sealed and published by this said Senior class for their last will and testament in the presence of us, who, at their request, have inscribed our names as witnesses to said instrument. IONE LAWRANCE J. J. JONES. “Sorry, Old Man, Dale A. said as he got out of the taxi, I haven’t got a cent. That s a fact. You can’t get blood out of a stone you know.” “No? said the driver as he rolled up his sleeves. What makes you think you are a stone?” The following is the reply of a fond father, who had just received a letter from his son, a student in his own alma mater: “My dear son—Accept my heartiest congratulations. I was engaged to the same Miss Bunter when I was in college, and can appreciate the fun you are having. Go it while you are young. Your loving father.” Cummins CRew Dry Goods and Shoes Rhode’s barber Shop The Old {(‘liable Frank C. Johns Fancy Groceries, Hardware, Fresh Meats, Vegetables, Fruit, Gard( n and Field Seeds, Coal and Kindling Phone 90 Page Thirtg-two THE ECONOMY STORE Dry (roods — Clothing — Shoes C. S. FITCH AND SON’S Bakery Fresh Bread and Bolls ELLIOTT BROTHERS Furniture Store H. AND W. VARIETY STORE Bigger and Better — L. F. PARRISH Furniture and Hardware 'j “Mrs. Briggs,” said the new boarder at breakfast, “who owns those ferryboats I tripped over coming down the stairs just now?” The Landlady shot a fierce look. “Ferryboats, indeed!” She cried, “those are my shoes. The boarder smiled uneasily. “I didn’t say ferryboats,” he hastily replied. “I said fairy boots.” The Deason’s daughter had been out late. When she came down to breakfast the next morning, her father greeted her coldly. “Good Morning, daughter of Satan.” “Good Morning, Father,” She replied. off. Small Boy: Grandmother, when are you going to start playing football? Grandmother: Why, sonny, I can’t play football. Why? Small Boy: Well, Papa says he is going to buy a new car as soon as you kick Old Lady (on platform): “Which platform for the Boston train?’ Porter:“Turn to the left and you’ll be right.” Lady: “Don’t be impertinent, young man!” Porter: “All right, then, turn to your right and you’ll be left.” Page Thirty-three by. A friend asked Sandy how he liked his Christmas radio set. “It’s aw rieht to listen to,” he replied, “but the bulbs are nae sae guid to read Rastus: “Say Sambo, what time in yoah life does yo’ think yo wuz scared de worst?” Sambo: “Once when Ah wuz callin ‘on a married gal and' her husbum come in and caught me. Boy, wuz Ah scared!” Rastus: “How are yo suah dat wuz de worstest yo’ evah bin scared?” Sambo: “Cause her husbum turned to dat wife ob his an’ he say: ‘Mandy, whut’s dis white man doin’ here?” What in heck would you give a nudist for Christmas? “It isn’t an occupation; it’s a pursuit. I’m a bill collector.’ Farmer Corntassel had just retired and moved to town. In the morning, after spending the first nite in the new home his wife said, “Well, Paw, hain’t it about time you was getting up to build the fire?” “No siree,” replied the old gent. “I’ll call the fire department. We might as well get used to these city conveniences right now.” daisy. Miss Wicecarver: Walen can you define nonsense?” Walen Barger: “Yes, an elephant hanging over a cliff with his tail tied to a i (bumping into lamp post): “Excuse me, sir.” (Bumping into fire hydrant): “Excuse me, little boy. (Bumping into second lamp post and falling down): ‘Well, 111 just sit here until the crowd passes. Jra Morgan (Groceries and Produce Stanley foorte Qo. 11 holcsalc Clroceries Distributors of WHITE GOOSE FLOUR and BLISS COFFEE Page Thirty-four ft- -— ■ --- ■ ■■■ ' — Foreman brothers Oldsmobile YOU’RE ALWAYS WELCOME AT COHEN'S Dry Goods - Ready to Wear -- Shoes Millinery !Uummcva; oriL YZTHf faesj’' opts phc na 2fli --------------- ------------ - — A New York policeman swore to the following affidavit: “I hereby solemnly swear that the prisoner set upon me, calling me a donkey, a dolt, a scarecrow, a ragamuffin, and idiot, all of which I certify to be true.” “Patrick,” said the priest, “how much hay did you steal?” “Well, I may as well confess to your reverence for the whole stack, for I am going after the rest tonight. Dorotha: “I was quite upset when he kissed me.’ Hazel: “Phooey, I know you’ve been kissed before.” “Dot. “Yes, but never in a canoe.” Aunt Kate—“When I was younger I could have married any man I pleased. Little Bobbie—“But you didn’t please anybody, did you Aunt Kate?” Salesman: “Did you like that cigar I gave you? For 500 coupons of that brand you get a banjo. Geo. Miller: “If I smoked 500 of those cigars. I’d need a harp.” Page Thirty-five Miss Atwell: What are the three most common words that are used? Roberta Dollar: I don’t know. Miss Atwell: Correct. Miss Wicecarver: Jessie, do you believe the old saying, “Thinking makes you live longer?” Jessie: Yes. Miss Wicecarver: Why? Jessie: Because so many people die young. Mr. Schneeman: Who owns Australia? Pat Parks: Bim Gump. Jimmy Starkes: You might divide our problems into two groups. Mr. Schneeman: What are they0 Jimmy: One is international and the other Dillinger. James Fitzpatrick: I had my tooth pulled out and the denist pulled out part of my gum. John Covington: What’s wrong with that? James: I told him to put it under my chair and I’d chew it when he got done. Miss Atwell: What is a genius? Blanche James: A genius is a woman who can make her husband believe that beating rugs will improve his golf stroke. RUSH LUMBER CO. Phone 105 WALKER HARDWARE CO. Sells It for Less NIEKAMP MARKET 108 West 7th St. Good Howe Killed, Corn Fed Meat We Deliver Phone 120 THE FAIR STORE Sample Shoes — Clothing — Furnishings ELITE THEATRE Perfect RCA Sound The Home of Good Pictures =y Page Thirty-nix Leui C. Miller ‘The Service Insurance Agency” Phones Office 117 — Res. 120 Williams brothers Watchmakers and Jewelers Illinois Theatre Building The Browns and Smiths were neighbors. Since the Smith cat caught one of the Brown chickens there had been a constant quarrel between the two families. A year or so later Mr. Smith stopped Mr. Brown and said, “I think we ought to end our feud now; the old cat died today.” “Humph” replied Brown, “I didn’t know your wife was sick. Quality Pays — Buy With Confidence at NEALS LOrHlNGX? w TwT e� 7 STORE We Want Your Trade Phone Main 119 Page Thirty-seven —HI BEST WISHES TO THE CLASS OF 1934 WARREN R. MILLER, Sales Mgr. Nussmeier Engraving Co. Pdust’s Jewelry Store IF IT’S NEW WE HAVE IT DRY GOODS and READY-TO-WEAR “Dependable Merchandise’ Miss Wicecarver: Lloyd, would you rather have a straight life insurance policy or a twenty-pay life? Lloyd: I wouldn't want a twenty-pay life, for you can’t get that until after your re dead. $Jr- WLal do you think of when y°u hear the name of Robinson’ Geo. Miller: The man who robbed his son. 1 Stamper’s 5 10 Cent Store Candy, Notions, Hardware, Etc. JUinois hatchery HERBERT HELM .1 etropolis, Illinois Rare Bred Chicks and Custom Hatching Code Compliance No. 728 Page Thirtg-eight NIFTY BEAUTY SHOPPE All Lines Beauty Culture Phone 52 NELL 0 'BIMEN VENUS KILGORE “How long you in jail for, Mose?” “Two weeks.” “What am de charge?” No charge, everything am free.” “What caused that explosion on Si’s farm? “He fed a chicken some “Lay or Bust” feed and it turned out to be a rooster. s Johnie Paust: “I’m scared to death. I just got a letter from a man who says that if I don’t leave his wife alone he’ll shoot me.” Alvin: “That’s nothing to get scared about, just leave his wife alone. Johnie: “I know, but he didn’t sign his name.” An Irishman, English and a Scotchman were traveling together looking for work. They applied to a Real Estate Dealer who said: “I have a job for the one who can tell the biggest lie. The Englishman said he went to the North Pole in a tub. The Scotchman said he swam to the South Pole. Begorrah, I believe both of you,” said the Irishman. The Irishman got the job. “I have found out one thing today, said the city man who had found a job on a farm.” “What’s that?” asked the farmer. “That the man who says the cow GIVES milk is a liar.” A school teacher in Paducah asked her class to name the twelve greatest men in the world. One boy wrote: The Paducah Football Team and Babe Ruth. This isn’t such a fast age after all. It takes the average woman fifty years to reach her thirty-fifth birthday. fr ■■■- 1 ■' --.i= ■ ■■ —■— '■'=■•- ■ -----:n COMPLIMENTS WM. D. HARRINGTON Press Correspondent and Picture Man (Remember to give me your picture for St. Louis Post-Dispatch) Page Thirty-nine 'vnjpti m m SOUND managerial policies and long, successful experience have provided q us with sufficient equipment, adequate personnel, and ample resources to render k dependable service as artists and makers V of fine printing plates. That you will be secure from chance, is our first promise. JAHN OLLIER ENGRAVING CO. 817 Wert Washington Blvd., - Chicago, Illinois J % , � -rr in n wVsZrt I m, vf y- v ■ - M I 7 ! (I In the foreground - Ft. Dearborn re-erected in Grant Park on Chicago's lake front. Illustration by Jahn 6- Ollier Art Studios. Page Forty mm ■ ft j|C • SSHm . ■srvas , r:i •; „ 2 • -.£• •■ � j .-rawSi -■ ✓ '•’A. •i 44 80! isW : £ k?5l® nf« J m ■ ip a . MP ■ i ! ■ 4 V! •M „! V ’• V:j m - 2 iT5jaw v Ot-V VM .f j cl ■s� v II mp 4 A % fw- -•.s i r i I r m : « a Af J -•« 2 . M k n l$£U' J 4 it i sc h£ • 1 r 3 4! t •e y j� i 7,'v Jfpj jRpf £� i 1 4 ■ v V T J W ' ■V . .. ■_ 4 r h warr s H - r 5K I - U Li .5 . m u C -:■ iKM'm -;l 1% h 4 il i A % ! -T Sv . v f - SP , v 7 • « cy T IW v • i a vn $ v ’ •! UM ,-4 • rWKV v I ir 1� ‘3M v twi 'WCC j ■ W, v ! fc i M rw a Vl£ ti 4 Ii • £; % ; r rv. 1 te PT-|l: VM •-fytuJi i r� r-r sfJKi