Mercy Hospital School of Nursing - Mercium Yearbook (Bay City, MI)

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, I ' - H.-' P' .. M' ' fllrttxnm -- J A MODERN LULLABY Rock-a-bye. baby, upon the bough, You get your milk from a certified cow. Before your eugenic young parents were wed They decided how you should be fed. Hush-a-'bye, baby. on the tree top. lf grandmother trots you, you tell her to stopg Shun the trot-horse that your grandmother ridess It will work harm to your little insides. Mama's scientilicfshe knows all the laws, She kisses her darling through carbolized gauze. Rock-a-bye, babyg don't wiggle and squirmg Nothing is near you that looks like a germ. 5 JUNIORS' MOTTO Nothing is better than a good lessong A poor lesson is better than nothings Therefore-a poor lesson is better than a good lesson. ,gl EVERY FIRST YEARS AMBITION I'd like to be a Senior. And with the Seniors stand, A black band on my cap. A fountain pen in hand. I would not be a queen, I would not be a king. Ild rather be a Senior And never do a thing. ,SZ Miss Jane Raby: Are we going to have examination on Washingtonis Birthday Sister: Nog on Anatomy. ?,- ,gb I shall die, throbbed the fifteeneth suitor. unless you marry me. 'Tm sorry, said Miss Maddox. kindly but firmly. hbut I will not marry you. So the fellow went West. and after sixty- two years, three months and a day will become suddenly ill and die. ,gl Dr. McEwan: I suppose. Mrs. Jackson. that you have given the medicine according to directions. Mrs. Jackson: Well, doctah. I done mah bes'. You said. give Rastus one o' dose pills three times a day, until gone. but I done run out o' pills yesterday. an' he hain't gone yet. ,gl THE WEAKLING She could swing a six pound dumbbell. She could fence and she could box, She could row upon the river, She could clamber 'mong the rocks, She could golf from morn till evening, And play tennis all day long: But she couldn't help her Mother, 'Cause she wasn't very strong. --44' IMAGINE: Thaddeas Rivet if she were tall. Margaret Germain if she were small. Mary Jane Spiers without a joke. Josephine Rabie not being broke. Catherine Buckley crotclieting lace. Kay Maniex not painting her face. Eunice Beaufore without a smile. Katherine Mazur running wild. Marie Ridiker not going home. Alice Snyder not hoping to roam. Luanna Lietz not coming in late. Martha Osinski refusing a date. Beatrice Whitney with curly hair. These things we know would be most rare. 99 FOR SALE BY MR. LINGE One old car with piston rings: Two rear wheels and one front spring, Has no fenders. seat or plank. Burns lots of gas, hard to crank. Carburetor busted. half way through. Engine missing. hits on two. Three years old. four in the spring. Has shock absorbers IIT everything. Radiator busted. sure does leak. Differential dry, you can hear it squeak. Ten spokes missing, front all bent, Tires blowed out. ainlt worth a cent. Got lots of pep, will run like the deuce. Burns either gas or tobacco juice. Tires all off, been run on the rims. Mighty good car for the shape itis in. ,QC Miss Royal: L'The new patient in 334 is very good looking. Miss Seney: Yes, but don't wash h's faceg he's had that done by four nurses this morn- ing. ,gg Miss Connelly's heart is so hardened that it is covered with periosteum. Q! Miss Gibbons lin Dietetics Classl 1 Name three articles containing starch. Miss Snapson: L'Two cuffs and a collar. .58 Sr. M. Leona: 'lWhat can you tell me about Nitrates? Miss Straney: Well, they are a lot lower than day rates. ,gl Dr. Allen: L'Ever had Psychology? Joe Rabie: Nog only Scarlet Fever and Bronchitisf' 9? Muriel Smith lmeeting Jane Raby rushing madly down stairsl: Well, well. I thought you were too lazy to run like that. Jane Raby: Well, laziness runs in our family. .... . . . ,,.A.,-.,.., .V it ' J 'llflzi' I t.. ., ...p,.. . .4-. ..a.-, -- , . -u .. ...A -..... aa.

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-:.. , N' Jlltrtinxn ' Miss Gibbons: Miss McKinnon, I'll Hive D you just one more day to hand in your note- book. Miss McKinnon: All right: how about the 4th of ,Iuly?'l ,VPC Sister: S'Miss Waldbauer. have you read today's lesson? Miss Waldbauer: No, Sister. Sister: What have you read? Miss Waldbauer: I have red hair. .38 Dr. Drummond: Miss Manniex, why didn't you come to class yesterday? Miss Manniex: I had a toothachef' Doctor: Doesn't it ache today? Miss Manniex: I don't know. Doctor: You don't know? Miss Manniex: No: I left it at the den- rises. gg . What was the noise I heard Ebere? That must have been Dale's Miss Seney: last night. Miss Miss Ebere: arches falling. 65 . The Annual Staff may work and work, Till brains and hands are sore: But some poor boob will always cy. Oh gosh, I've heard this before. .38 FRESHMEN'S WISH? I wish I were a little rock, A-settin' on a hill. And I wouldn't do a bloomin' But jes' be settin' still. thing I wouldn't chart, I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't even wash. I'd sit there for a thousand years, And rest myself, by gosh. .38 Teacher says, Never say Bill. She says you should always say, William. But if a duck got mud on his bill Woulcl she say he had mud on his William? VS! Nurse: I am sorry, but you can't see your husband. He is still under the influence of anaestheticsf' Indignant Wife: Ann Aesthetics! Oh! so that's the name of the girl he takes riding. .38 Dr. Persons: Have you ever had halluci- nations? .lane Raby: Yes. twice: the first time it didn't work, but tl1e second time it left a big scar. .35 Sister: Have you turned the gas on under the sterilizer as I told you? A. Snyder: Yes, Sister. every burner: can't you smell Lit? A NARROW ESCAPE .Iackson came home tripping merrily into his tiny hall one day and almost spoiled his manly beauty by falling over someones shoes left lying about. Whose ferryboats are those in the hall? he asked later when he entered the drawing room. Ferryboats? his mother-in-law cried an- grily. Why, those are my shoes. My dear. good ma,', Jackson said hurriedly. who said ferryboats? You misunderstood. Fairy boots, you know-fairy boots. And then he wiped the sweat from his brow. .38 A VALITABLE RECIPE FOR LOWNESS OF SPIRITS Take one ounce of the seeds of resolution. properly mixed with the oil of good conscience, infuse into it a large spoonful of the salts of patience, distil very carefully a composing plant called others' woes, which you will hnd in every part of the garden of life growing under the broad leaves of disguse. Add a small quantity, it will much assist the salts of patience in their operation: gather a handful of the blossom of hope. then sweeten them with a syrup of the balm of Providence: and if you get any of the seeds of true friendship, you will have the most valuable medicine that can be administered. ,st Irate Housewife: Ain't you the same man I gave a meat pie to last year? Tramp tbitterlyl: No, ma'am, Tm not. and wot's more the Doctor says I never will be ,I . as OF COURSE Nothing the matter with you at all, gruff- ly spoke the physician. You are in perfect health. Why. your pulse is as steady as clock- work. But, Doctor. said the patient, you've got your fingers on my wrist watch. .32 Emily twho has just come downstairs from a sick-room where the father lies at the point of death, said to mother cooking porkb: Please, mother. father says he would like a bit 0' the pork before he dies. Mother: Co and tell yer father he can't have any. It's for the funeral. gl Solicitor: lIadam. I stopped to ask you for a donation to the new hospital. Mrs. Murphy twho just finished an argu- mentlz Well. ye might step in the next room and take a look at Murphy. He might dofi ,SZ E. Method lto shoe salesman! : Yes, I take a size five but it hurts so much I have to have a seven. I sv ,. l as L51-:agp -Q31-ti K' 15-27,1 fi.:-qi-.,E s pf 85

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. . . - ,N .. ' . 5 kgbgea-.-,-,,,, G - . -lr-,..4.1.-... 3- M J W' 1-' Jllm'1t::xnr' 3' 7 -1 ,I The Adventure It was a line day in summer. Bili Rubin and Bili Verdin closed up the Olfactory and invited their lady friends, Dura and Pia Mater, to accompany them to the Islands of Langerhans, to hear the Great Trochanter speak on the Naval question. Pso-as to get there quickly, they sailed down the Alimentary Canal to McBurney's Point in a Blood Vessel. On the way down, Bili Rubin tried to make Dura Mater believe she was as Cutis Vera, but in Vein. She told him he had too much Nerve and to be careful or the Recurrent Tibial would swamp them. They went from the Alimentary Canal into Hunteris Canal. Pia Mater was reading a very Humerus book entitled 'The Trail of the Lonesome Spine, by Harmone. Bili Verdin remarked that he was very green at sailing, but was not as yellow as Bili Rubin. At the end of Hunter's Canal they left the Vessel in the hands of Artery to get some Col-on board. They crossed to the Islands of Langerhans on foot, via the Pons Varoli. Within a Radius of half a mile they could see a great flock of ducts-the Thoracic Duct, the Common Bile Duct, and the Pancreatic Duct. floating on the Peristalic Waxfes. on reaching the island, lunch was served in the Valley of the Acctabulum, away from the rays of the Solar Plexus. Here were served Liver and Sweet Bread, Cold Shoulder, Baked Spareribs, Hot Tongue on Platelets. with Wharton's Jelly, and the White substance of Schwann, with Heart Beat Salad. After lunch. Bili Rubin strolled off to get some of Adam's apples, while the rest of the Body picked berries in Peyer's Patches. They thought they heard the Verte- brae and the Eye-ball and were much afraid. However, by taking a Glissonis Capsule, they became quite Sternum. The noise, they learned, was the music from Poupart,s Band, marching along the Linea Alba to Meat the Great Trochanter. who was coming to the Island of Langerhans in a Lymph Vessel. propelled by the Oculi Motor. The Great Trochanter, having pointed out the Vas Deferens between the two Naval Policies, told about his Tryps-in Pectoralis Minor with Sartorius. He also told about the Purin bodies buried in the Pyramids near the Malphigian region. and the Temple built during the reign of Gluteus Maximus. The proceedings were much interrupted by Rolando and Sylvius, Fissures by trade, who had been down to the Glenoid. a tough joint, and gotten stewed. Some of the people rode Bronchi up and down the Pyramidal tracts. Others watched the Cae-cum in on the shore. The children, however. enjoyed the Cytesg lympho and leuko-and made their Pa-tell a story to them. After consulting the Auricles of the Heart, they all went home. At present, Bili Verdin is in the Central Acini Cells. breaking Gall-stones for insulting the Great Omentum. Alas. alasl Poor Bili Rubin! He Tryps-in the Olfactory and loses his toes. It must be horrible to Lac-tose. GSOO To smile a bit, so I can see, A thousand smiles smile back to me. Not to be too wise, yet be no fool. Nor tamper with the golden rule. To be sincere, and love a lot, And do the best with what Ilve got. Not give advice, but prove instead, The road is best where I have led. To battle fearlessly when right, And not to boast when well I might. And, last, to be a friend, indeed, To the oppressed-this is my creed. Q-.. ,.. ,..,--:M -' . ,.,. .. ,. . 1Ul4f -- A 1 ,.-.,.-..... -. . .. -.- ... . I- -. .- , .., ESU.