Mercer High School - Hi Times Yearbook (Mercer, PA)

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II 1 - T I M E S + ship will be successful because he will put his foot against his customer’s half opened door and will leave it there until his speech is finished. Twila Jewel wi»l be his wife. Harold North is a puzzle. He tells me he wants to be a steel, worker. According to Palooka everything points toward either the butcher or baker trades, while Rajah Bunga asserts he will be a clown. Astrology asserts him the religious type, a preacher. On the other hand, palmistry shows him to be the pure and simple artistic type. At any rate he will be successful in any line he takes up except business. Pseudonymously Lauretta and Harold Amy will play as comedians in Western hick towns. But talkies come and make them Broadway hits over night in the tragedy. “The Last Days of John Barleycorn.” After a successful career proud actress Lauretta will wed school chum, hard working Homer Huey, and they live happily ever afterward. Farmer Zigo wiM marry nurse Virginia Brown and will enter politics after serving in William Albert’s establishment to gain experience. By means of this he will become mayor of Mercer. William Richardson will be a crooked solicitor and will defend the Great American Pretzel Trust. Harriet Rogers, his stenographer, will become infatuated with him. BiH will fire her. but she will refuse to leave, so he will marry her to get her away from the office. There is fine, fabled, Alger-like success for John Brown. Starting as cub reporter for Mercer’s Gault-edition-live-wire paper he will rise in the ranks until he will become a lobbyist for Kohler’s tariff on tea. Something tells the “Prophet” that Martha Yarian will run a hog ranch in southern California and will do very, very well. Harry Black will capitalize flea circusses. among them “McCalla’s Little Gem” and the “Acrobatic Flea Performing Circus,” Business-like business woman Coreita Crawford, a bull in the stock market, will consent to Harry’s proposal, gives up her career, and the rest is left to your imagination. Helen Thompson is seen in the crystal. She appears to be nursing a tired looking old nag. This undoubtedly means that Helen will run a veterinary shop and hospital for tired working horses. Clara May McLaughry will run a factory for making unbreakable rolling pins. This will prove a great help to the housewife when her hard headed husband comes in a little too late. Doris McElheny and Eva Wilting will dance before Hollywood cameras for many years. Mary Bell Duncan and Julia Richardson will run chiropractic offices. Famed for their skill, they are lotted to help many sufferers of the gout and acute backache. The “Prophet” is unable to find out his own future. Anyone who wants further information send five uncounterfeited greenbacks to the “Prophet”, care of Rajah Bunga, Timbuctoo, R. F. D. No. 389, w'ith postage stamp enclosed. DUDLEY JOHNSON ♦ Tw «ty-«v»u

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II I T I M E S f CLASS PROPHECY Perhaps you are skeptic and think an amateur so young and inexperienced cannot formulize future facts. Any such doubts are groundless. For the past few semesters the Prophet” has been extracurrlcularly practicing prognostication. The fact is that the Prophet” has had much preparation. You too could dip into the future” if you had studied phrenology, mysticism, palmistry, graphology, astrology, crystal gazing and hypnotism as intensively as he, and if you had consulted Palooka, the Cosmic Psychic, and Rajah Bunga, the Hindoo Clair vogant, w'hose very names are threatened with immortality. The future of the “Class of Thirty” is exactly what you would expect from a well-teachered and unusually superior class. In fact it has decided the most favorable horoscope of any of the Mercer High School classes yet. William Albert is restined to head Mercer’s Unsupported Savings Trust Company. Suave Presbyterian Rector, Walter Anderson, will conduct nuptial ceremonies, ensnaring William with pleasant Cordina McWilliams. Helen Whieldon, journalist for magazine High-Life” wins success, marries Baron Schandaggle, rich retired German war lord, divorces him and gets large alimony. Paul Masson, prosperous local junk dealer gets tired of seeing only junk and wants to get away from it all. He flies to Paris and falls madly in love with the only one in the wide, wide world.” They settle comfortably and permanently in Mercer after a delightful honeymoon trip via China. With the large family they will have to look after, there will be no time for quarrels. Sleuth hound detective Guy Ringer, who caught Diamond Dan,” the terrorizer of Chicago and New York circles, weds society damsel Martha Huey. Although robbers are continuously stealing their furniture and jewels, they manage to keep up with the Jones’s.” i Stanley Smith, scientist, makes flight to Mars in the good rocket Piauline” named after his sweeter than sweet Pauline McCoy. Adventurer Stan will startle the world with tales of the giants and queer animals he saw at Mars. Harry Valler runs away to sea. From a menial deck-scrubbing position he gets to be captain of the biggest ship in the world. Avis Armstrong, world famed fashion setter of New York, is especially noted for the cunning fox fur coats she schemes. Gaylord Armstrong goes hand in hand raising and supplying foxes for her. He must watch out for a certain Hairbreath Harry” who comes and steals the foxes. When this occurs, it would be advisable to search out detective Guy Ringer. Gaylord’s wife, Helen Rickard, who wrote the book How to Vamp” will run his business successfully. Waid Patterson will have a busy life of it. Waid will sell Little Dynamo”, a liniment to be taken internally or externally which he invented. His high power salesman- Tweoty-alx

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LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT We, the class of 1930, being of sound mind, memory, and understanding, considering the uncertainty of life, and being desirous of settling our worldly affairs while we have strength and capacity, do make this our last will and testament hereby revoking all former wills by us heretofore made. And first, the aims, hopes and aspirations to which we have attained, we direct to be inscribed in the hearts and memories of our under classmen and faculty. As to such estate, rights, powers, and privileges as it hath pleased God to intrust us with, we dispose of the same as follows, viz: We do hereby give and bequeath any and all opportunities which we have failed to use to aM under classmen to make use of to the best of their abiMty. We do give and bequeath our seats and desks together with any gum or thumbtacks attached to same and any paper wads, candy wrappers, pencils or stubs of same, which may have been overlooked in our departure unto the Junior class. To the Juniors we leave the golden key of knowledge. May they make the best use of it. We leave to the Sophomores a desire for that knowledge which we have attained. To the Freshmen we will our place and standing of dignity in the eyes of the citizens of the town. John McCalla wiUs his limousine to John Masson. Red” leaves his curls to Katherine Dunlap. “Tub” leaves a little weight and height to Margaret McWilliams provided she does not ask too much. Hill Kohler wills his managing ability to “Murphy” Byers. We feel this gift should be greatly appreciated. Doris McElheny wills her vocal ability to Roberta Patterson. Mary Bell Duncan gives and bequeaths all ambition and studiousness to John Sampson. Avis Armstrong leaves her art of flirtation to Dorothy Ely. Go carefully Dorothy. Harriet Rodgers gives and bequeaths her ability as a pianist to Marguerite Averill. Bill” Huey leaves Edith to Ruth Wylie provided he be handled with care. Julia and Kitty give and bequeath their wide and far-reaching mental ability to Sara Elizabeth Stranahan and Mary Vogan. Craig leaves his knowledge of Physics and Chemistry to Mac” McCartney. Kitty leaves her well-fulfilled daily task of beating the triangle to Helen McLaughry. Dudley Johnson gives and bequeaths all prophetic power and practical jokes together with a higher philosophy of life to Carroll Anderson. We leave our class colors of crimson and gold to any class whom the faculty may deem worthy. We, as a class, regretfully and hesitantly leave our places in the hearts and memories of the teachers unto all under-classmen who aspire to our ideals. And we do hereby nominate, constitute and appoint our Principal sole executor of this our last will and testament. In witness thereof, we the class of 1930, the testators, have to this will set our hands this day of June A. D. one thousand nine hundred and thirty. CLASS OF '30 HELEN RICKARD + Twenty-eitrht