Mercer High School - Hi Times Yearbook (Mercer, PA)

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II I T I M E S f CLASS PROPHECY Perhaps you are skeptic and think an amateur so young and inexperienced cannot formulize future facts. Any such doubts are groundless. For the past few semesters the Prophet” has been extracurrlcularly practicing prognostication. The fact is that the Prophet” has had much preparation. You too could dip into the future” if you had studied phrenology, mysticism, palmistry, graphology, astrology, crystal gazing and hypnotism as intensively as he, and if you had consulted Palooka, the Cosmic Psychic, and Rajah Bunga, the Hindoo Clair vogant, w'hose very names are threatened with immortality. The future of the “Class of Thirty” is exactly what you would expect from a well-teachered and unusually superior class. In fact it has decided the most favorable horoscope of any of the Mercer High School classes yet. William Albert is restined to head Mercer’s Unsupported Savings Trust Company. Suave Presbyterian Rector, Walter Anderson, will conduct nuptial ceremonies, ensnaring William with pleasant Cordina McWilliams. Helen Whieldon, journalist for magazine High-Life” wins success, marries Baron Schandaggle, rich retired German war lord, divorces him and gets large alimony. Paul Masson, prosperous local junk dealer gets tired of seeing only junk and wants to get away from it all. He flies to Paris and falls madly in love with the only one in the wide, wide world.” They settle comfortably and permanently in Mercer after a delightful honeymoon trip via China. With the large family they will have to look after, there will be no time for quarrels. Sleuth hound detective Guy Ringer, who caught Diamond Dan,” the terrorizer of Chicago and New York circles, weds society damsel Martha Huey. Although robbers are continuously stealing their furniture and jewels, they manage to keep up with the Jones’s.” i Stanley Smith, scientist, makes flight to Mars in the good rocket Piauline” named after his sweeter than sweet Pauline McCoy. Adventurer Stan will startle the world with tales of the giants and queer animals he saw at Mars. Harry Valler runs away to sea. From a menial deck-scrubbing position he gets to be captain of the biggest ship in the world. Avis Armstrong, world famed fashion setter of New York, is especially noted for the cunning fox fur coats she schemes. Gaylord Armstrong goes hand in hand raising and supplying foxes for her. He must watch out for a certain Hairbreath Harry” who comes and steals the foxes. When this occurs, it would be advisable to search out detective Guy Ringer. Gaylord’s wife, Helen Rickard, who wrote the book How to Vamp” will run his business successfully. Waid Patterson will have a busy life of it. Waid will sell Little Dynamo”, a liniment to be taken internally or externally which he invented. His high power salesman- Tweoty-alx

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II I - T I M E S •+ SENIOR CLASS POEM Our earnest efforts non• are o’er .1 hectic dai) has passed The end that we hare striven for Has now hem reached at last. We still remember Freshman daps They were not lived in vain. We cherish all onr Sophomore waps And Irish them bach again. When Juniors, oh what fun we had! What jests and guyetg We drore the teachers nearly mad With all our jollity. And now apain we must he strong We have a task in sight lint ere ire go we’ll sing a song To praise the blue and white. We’re reached the highest step it seems Our dap of glory and promotion Out in the a ide a ide world we’ll go With Mercer High 's deration. Three cheers for the class of 1930! Hurrah for the crimson and gold We arc prepared to face the future To fit our special mold. A toast, a toast to Mercer High! Let’s not forget her might All boost her to the eery sky All hail the blue and white. And though we scale a mountain Or go to some far isle Pleasant memories of Mercer High School Will linger with us all the while. —Lois Schmidt ■+ Twenty-five

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II 1 - T I M E S + ship will be successful because he will put his foot against his customer’s half opened door and will leave it there until his speech is finished. Twila Jewel wi»l be his wife. Harold North is a puzzle. He tells me he wants to be a steel, worker. According to Palooka everything points toward either the butcher or baker trades, while Rajah Bunga asserts he will be a clown. Astrology asserts him the religious type, a preacher. On the other hand, palmistry shows him to be the pure and simple artistic type. At any rate he will be successful in any line he takes up except business. Pseudonymously Lauretta and Harold Amy will play as comedians in Western hick towns. But talkies come and make them Broadway hits over night in the tragedy. “The Last Days of John Barleycorn.” After a successful career proud actress Lauretta will wed school chum, hard working Homer Huey, and they live happily ever afterward. Farmer Zigo wiM marry nurse Virginia Brown and will enter politics after serving in William Albert’s establishment to gain experience. By means of this he will become mayor of Mercer. William Richardson will be a crooked solicitor and will defend the Great American Pretzel Trust. Harriet Rogers, his stenographer, will become infatuated with him. BiH will fire her. but she will refuse to leave, so he will marry her to get her away from the office. There is fine, fabled, Alger-like success for John Brown. Starting as cub reporter for Mercer’s Gault-edition-live-wire paper he will rise in the ranks until he will become a lobbyist for Kohler’s tariff on tea. Something tells the “Prophet” that Martha Yarian will run a hog ranch in southern California and will do very, very well. Harry Black will capitalize flea circusses. among them “McCalla’s Little Gem” and the “Acrobatic Flea Performing Circus,” Business-like business woman Coreita Crawford, a bull in the stock market, will consent to Harry’s proposal, gives up her career, and the rest is left to your imagination. Helen Thompson is seen in the crystal. She appears to be nursing a tired looking old nag. This undoubtedly means that Helen will run a veterinary shop and hospital for tired working horses. Clara May McLaughry will run a factory for making unbreakable rolling pins. This will prove a great help to the housewife when her hard headed husband comes in a little too late. Doris McElheny and Eva Wilting will dance before Hollywood cameras for many years. Mary Bell Duncan and Julia Richardson will run chiropractic offices. Famed for their skill, they are lotted to help many sufferers of the gout and acute backache. The “Prophet” is unable to find out his own future. Anyone who wants further information send five uncounterfeited greenbacks to the “Prophet”, care of Rajah Bunga, Timbuctoo, R. F. D. No. 389, w'ith postage stamp enclosed. DUDLEY JOHNSON ♦ Tw «ty-«v»u