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Page 17 text:
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Classes
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Page 16 text:
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In the final analysis, man finds that his greatest pleasure comes from his stomach, that of all the human appetites, including the spiritual, the gastronomic is the most pleasant, the strongest, the most easily satisfied, gets him into less trouble, and lasts the longest. II, as has been alleged, one thinks in retrospect only of the pleasanter and happier moments, then indeed college is a failure, a menace to the Church, and a hot hole of sybarites. It is a constant source of amazement and wonder why the young men of this country continue to go to Harvard, Michigan, Princeton, Wisconsin, Illinois, Dartmouth or Chicago. Surely at some time or other they must have heard of the free oasis of McGill. Certainly love is inadequate. When a woman loves thoroughly, she becomes uninteresting to the man except fragmentarily; when she loves insincerely, he is ever in a dilemma. Whenever a woman says she loves a man, she has her reason; whenever a man commits himself, you may rest assured that he has his. Felling a woman that you love her has long passed out of fashion. Since the arrival of the automobile, to make such a confession is a sin against tautology. The sharpest thrust that one can make at the Bohemian writer as one sees him on the near-North Side of Chicago or Greenwich Village, New York, is that instead of drinking because he likes it, or its effects, he does so because he genuinely be- lieves that the vinuous potations vended by the neighborhood druggist, cobbler, barber, milliner or bell hop is a beverage especially prescribed by a bousy but generous beldam who will see that he receives large royalty checks if he keeps sufficiently soused. I hadn ' t been in the hotel more than a lew hours when someone cautiously knocked twice on the door of my room. I jumped to my feet, opened the door, and with a flush of pleasure beheld Bell Boy Number 18 grinning before me. Sh, I think I got it for you, sir, he whispered. ' I had a hard time and the police almost pinched me once, but I managed to elude them and I ' m prettv sure that I have just what you want. Are you positive it ' s genuine? I asked. I ' m getting suspicious of some of the stuff that they ' re selling around here nowadays. Take my word, sir, this is the real thing. Set your mind at rest. In fact, I can guarantee it myself. I got it from a feller who ' s in touch with the very best sources of supply and he assures me it ' s absolutely genuine. I gave him the agreed amount and he handed me my precious purchase. With trembling fingers I ripped off the paper wrappings and an involuntary cry of pleasure escaped me as I beheld my genuine, Pre-Thompsonian, un-expurgated, Pro-British, Chicago Public School History Book! Page Twelve
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