Memphis Technical High School - Review Yearbook (Memphis, TN)

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had her own porgram each Monday and was recently voted America's favorite songstress. I left them and walked past the Italian Building, where I stopped to talk awhile with Neda Bernadini, who was dean of nurses at Johns Hopkins. While I was talking to Neda, someone fell down the steps, and I recognized Benton Ellis, who is still trying to get Neda to eat lunch with him. She told me that several of the old Tech girls were nurses at Johns Hopkins. They were Betty Clause, Maxine Roberson, Dixie Rogers, Louise N ickas and Char- lotte Skipworth. Neda refused to eat with Benton, so we went to the Male Beauty Show, starring Jim Curry, Jerry Tedder and Jack Wallace. We cast our vote for J im' Curry. CHAPTER I As I was gently snoring away, the visophone jangled in my ear and gently f?J woke me. It was the boss, who told me to get out to the fair and get a scoop story on Irving Evan's band that was playing in the Green Room, Hotel David McCommon. I As I walked in I got the autograph of the screen idol, Guy Akin, who always had a trained nurse with him to revive the girls that fainted at the sight of him. His lat- est picture was Burning Hearts. His co-star is Evelyn Joyner. ' I walked up to Irving and began to talk. His vocalist came over and I recognized Betty Jane Wortham. She told me that Darrel Hall was the drummer in the band but he wasn't there. He came in later with two bottles of W. W, Widdle-Waddle cole. I refused because one bot- tle of that stuff always make me just a little bit silly. Robert Butler came up and asked me to dance. C'I'he next day I gave pediatrician Sam Alabaster a lot of busi- nessb. , I left the Green Room and walked over to the ferris wheel, an old worn-out contraption. I watched Coleen Scott, Mary McCollum and Janice Crenshaw climb into one seat. I hope they had a good time because I was too scared to look. Annie Marie Scott and Cecil Green- land came up and asked me to go into the Science Build- ing with them. When w'e' walked in we were greeted by Genie Sheldon, who said she was going to make a record- ing of her voice. Genie had been in the Metropolitan, for more than four years. Eugene Anderson came and asked me if I would like to go as an invited guest on his rocket trip to the moon. I declined and then they came and led him gently away. Charles Lopez came' up and offered me a bite of his 20-inch hot dog. I couldn't get but ten inches in my mouth, durn it. Just then Freddie Moran, the singing tele- graph girl, brought me a visophone message from the boss. He wanted m-e' to come back and clean the office up like I was supposed to do. I sent a message telling him that I would be back tomorrow, I was having too much fun now. As I stood on the weighing machine, Dorothy Wilkins came up and put her foot on the back of it. I knew I didn't weigh 300 pounds. She and Kath- liven Bryan dragged me off to B. G. Brown's New Or- lean's Restaurant for a S5 bite to eat. Francis George, Who-Who Girl of 1954, came over to speak to us. She's a modfcl at Max Raulins' exclusive shop for women on Fifth Avenue in New York. She's being seen around New York with that playbody, Wilfred Buddy McCord. Gene Whitaker took our order. There has been a little trouble lately in trying to get Gene to bring you some- thing besides mashed potatoes and gravy. No matt-er what you order, you still get mashed potatoes and gravy. She says that's it a. throwback to the lunchroom at Tech. I said goodbye to Dorothy and bumped into Rose Ma- rie Wleber, who, with Faye Shelton, has opened an an- tique shop in Philadelphia. Harold I-Iaire, Noel Ellis, Al- len Roberts and George Harmon were cigarette boys in a night club in Philadelphia, so Rose Marie told me. I felt that it was time for me to go home and get a good day's rest. I don't believe I could sleep without my vi- brating mattress. Bill Stannard was keeping my helicopter in his garage. Martha Allen, the cashier, took my money and I drove home. I let my chauffeur, Ralph Baker, drive tonight. He turned on the radio and we listened to a debate between Joye Marie Glass and Mary Ruth Scott on the subject of whether Nancy Summers or Edith I-Ie.-ad designs the cutest clothes. I went to sleep before I ever found out who won. CHAPTER III Since the fair was due to last a year and my boss was threatening me, I felt that I had better get some more work done after loafing two days. I went to the new section of the Exposition where they had scenes of the future world. These scenes were shown in little booths. I spied Milton Simkin and Jack Moyle going into the one called Bathing Suits of the Future. I've never seen two more satisfied wolves when those boys came out. Bill Wallace came over to speak and offered to buy me a coke. Those things are almost out of date by now. We went to the Aviation Building, where we lookied at some models of various planes used in the last great war. He had to ask the guard what that twin-tailed plane called. I think it was a P-383 never heard of it. Charles Sarver walked up with a brand new suit of plastic and wood fiber. He was the advertising man for Bond's Credit Clothing Store. He gets 35.00 a day just for wearing that suit and a neon sign on his back. Gee, some folks get all the luck. Just then I heard a terrible shriek and I knew that Jeanne Benderman was giving a show at the main auditorium. She's better known as Lulu Belle McQuirtlebettle, the famous yodeler. Jeanne's really going up in this world, and I do mean up, some day the're going to string her up. A census was taken last year and she had given more people nervous break- downs with her singing than any other cause known to man. Jeanne Ford passed by with Brooks Talley. Tlre'y're being compared to that famous team of years ago, Hum- phrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. I watched Anna Whit- ney, Dorothy McSwain and Margie Cusic run after them to get their autographs. Silly girls, I got mine months ago. I left that interesting spot tbecause I didn't have an- other nickel to put into the parking meterj and moved on to the big Main Auditorium. I watched the famous dance team of Millwood and Sawtelle thrill the audience with their lovely dances. I turned around to look at the PAGE FITY-FIVE

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Shampoo ads, Clara Bootsie Jones, was also waiting to be photographed with her fellow model, Joann Mc- Adams, who going to Hollywood as Loan Behold. While Waiting for Linville Hawkins, Leon's assistant, who is called Flash because his head resembles a burned-out light bulb, to untangle the mess-no reflection on Betty- Bootsie and Joan discussed the cover girl of the year, Mary Belle Pilgrim, who got that title because whenever her picture appears on a magazine cover everyone runs to cover it. I next saw Mary Ruben, the interior decorator, who was decorating his interior with a chopped liver sand- wich-he brought his own lunch and his friend, Gene Simmons, the book reviewer, who was engrossed in a little black book. And there was Alice Pitts, the one who sings the commercials on the radio, asking Van Sin- gleton if he'd seen the show. She shouldn't have asked that-she could see he was foaming at the mouth. I saw Martha Nelson, secretary to William Wilcox, who is president of the Wilcox Insurance fno double indemnity clauses-we saw that picture, tool Company. Martha was telling Velma Turnipseed, one of America's best dressed women, of Esther Matthew's lecture tour. Esther is founder of a charm school Cjust send us a penny postcard-We're dreadfully low on stationeryj. And there was Charles Rogers, the world's champion pie-eater, just as pie-faced as ever. Patti Hamilton was visiting New York from the little Middle Western College where she is an English teacher, and Jane Dickerson, editor of a woman's magazine, discussed with Pauline Reynolds, the author, her latest story for the magazine. Then I saw a luscious pair of nylons in the middle of the floor and around them a rope. The first poor unsus- pecting victim to fall for this bait was Barbara Mann. As soon as she had touched the stockings the rope sprang around her and left her danging several feet in the air-her feet! Then a police siren sounded, from be- hind a trash heap stepped an uncouth creature with a gun in one hand and a book in the other. As this charac- ter advanced to Barabar I asw that it was Jeane Moss and the book she held was her own, My Adventures in the Memphis World Exposition, 1956 and was printed by Bobby Simonton's publishing company. This trap was the only method of getting people to read her book. Having nothing better to do-and may I advise that you never get that desperate for something to do-I decided to read several chapters. Looking over Barbara's trem- bling shoulder I read this: My boss, Jack Ringer, editor of the Memphis Sun, called me into his office one day and told me to cover the Memphis World Peace Exposition in disguise as a street cleaner. As my assistant, he sent Denby Brandon, the copy boy. We were to apply to for jobs as street cleaners at the office of Mayor Ray Sanders. We walked in and bumped into the secretary, Lois Hughes. Mayor Sanders gave us jobs and then he took me aside and asked if I thought Denby would make a good street cleaner. After all, he said, it takes brains to do this sort of job. I assured him that Denby would be satis- factory in this job since he had done such work before. We shuffled by the- beautiful Plycon Building, where President Margaret Williams, the first woman president of the United States and for whom they had to change PAGE FI FTY- FOU R the constitutional age so that she would be able to hold office, was dedicating this exposition to permanent world peace. Seated near the president was her all-woman cabinet, including Secretary of State Bobbye Collier, Sec- retary of War Ann Wilosn, Secretary of Labor Benthel Nichols, Secretary of Treasury Dorothy Crysack, Post- master General Cieda Lee, Attorney General Elnora Vaughn, Secretary of Navy Mary Ann Crook, Secretary of Commerce Marie VValden. Just then I heard something crack and there 'was Denby lying on the ground-he had broken his broom by leaning too hard on it. I looked over at the Peruvian Building, where I saw Ambassador Frances Dixon, who was recently appointed because of her excellent knowledge of Spanish. She says modestly that she owes everything to Miss Lula P. Cullen, Stand- ing near Miss Dixon was the President's personal ad- viser, Ernest Pinky Bowers. While I stared at them, I was almost knocked down by those still inswelparablesf- Jeannine Coleman and Mary Francis Spence. They both started telling me where you could get the most won- derful super-duper hamburgers imaginable. It's a little stand across from Bettie Lowe's Souvenir Shop, chirped Jeannine. I ran down there and found out that the stand was owned by Beeler, Hammers, Henders and Yoon. Murray Beeler cut the bread and put Gus Hammers fried the meat! Orma pickle and onion on, and Alfred Yoon terpiece to the now-starving customer and I recognized Don Robinson, who the champion track team at Yale. Don coach form the second string when he the mustard ong Henders put the handed the mas- I looked around is now coach of was promoted to explained a diffi- cult lateral pass to the coach. June Pitts ran over to ask my opinion on the World Peace Exposition. I soon found out that she was the head of the Gallup Poll. I decided to go over to the Souvenir Shop and pick up a few things. As I walked in I found that Leona Beverly was still trying to explain the South Carolina Nullifica- tion Act to Miss Butler. Jim Davenport waited on me and tried his best to sell me a gen-uwine sea-shell, guaranteed to be found in the Mississippi River. My money was cheerfully snatched by Jean Moss, the cashier. I walked out and turned on my pocket Walkie-talkie. I quickly switched off the year's latest finds lin fact, too latej, Marjorie Wilson and Mary Ann Fallot. Then I heard a loud sobbing voice and I knew that it was time for Pep-You-Up Cereal's program, known as The Happy Life of Matilda Zickerwacky, starring Audrey Greer. The program was introduced with loud sobs by Opal Cherry. The members of the happy family consisted of Joe Zickerwacky, played by Harold Wade, Mother Plotzenheimer, played by Barbara Nowell, and the dog, played by Virginia Easley. For the best performance on radio, the dog won top honors. Because there were so many tears in my eyes, I hard- ly noticed that I was sweeping dirt all over Virginia Camp's feet. When I looked up, shle recognized me, and I certainly recognized her because her face had been plastered all over every billboard in America. She was the Float-Away Toothpaste Girl. She had been made famous by her equally famous agent, Dick Busby. With Virginia was Joyce Norris, who was singing with Tommy Dorsey's band. Joyce told me that Sara Beth Meadows

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crowd and I watched Sue Crockett and Rosemary Horns- by try out the new invisible washing machine until the guard, Vernon Goldsmith, made them stop. They had the hardest time trying to locate that thing and turn it off. Just then the lights were lowered and the master of ceremonies came out to tell us that there was a distin- guished visitor in thi.: audience. The spotlight focused on my assistant, Denby Brandon, who was awarded the medal for meritorious service in the humble task of street cleaning. Bill Dempsey, master of ceremonies, had to wake him up so that he could pin the medal on him. I wish Denby would get out of the habit of going to sleep while leaning on his broom. The lights went back on and Billy announced that famous comedy duet of Richard Burnett and Enoch Morris. Their most famous act was for them all to stand on their hands and quote Macbeth. Richard always brought the house down with Lady Macbeth's famous slcepwalking scene. He always goes to sleep right in the middle of it. Nona Richardson walked up and handed me a letter in code from the local F. B. I. agent, John Cummins. John wanted me to be on thc lookout for spies from Central. I found four them hiding behind a wall watching Tommie Lee Tyler, Rose Ann Johnson, Josephine Migliaccio and Ellen Dahlberg model clothes. I called John and he took them away and told them about the great victories Tech had won over Central. They were reformed by the time he -got through with them. I left the fair to make a phone call in the drugstore across the street. Jean Templeton and Marie Harris ganged up on me and tried to get me to buy half interest in their new discovery. It seems that they tried to sell it to everyone, but no one was interested in how they made rubber from paper and sand. Marjorie Denker came up and shook my hand. I'll be glad when she decides to give it back to me. She took PAGE FIFTY-SIX me out and showed me some snapshots of th-e champion swimming team of America. All she had to do was send 15 cents and 11 box tops from Mr. Sunshine's Cheerful Breakfast Foods. I saw that it was autographed by Uis Johnson, Pittman Warren, Lea Joyner and Henry Cross. When I finally escaped from Marjorie I ran across the street to the Handy-Dandy Helicopter Repair Shop run by Eugene Inman. I gave thlem the keys and told them to give the junk heap the once over. Then I told them to stop staring at me! The traffic cop, George Tyson, bawled me out for knocking down Admiral James Derryberry. who had just won the battle of Memphis. Eugene Smith, famous painter, came up and offered to do my portrait for 15 cents. But I refused. The prices these days are outrageous! I watched him walk up to Virginia Thompson, ovsmer of the 'We Make You Glam- orous in Five Minutes or Your Money Back Beauty Shop, and asked her to pose. She refused after finding one hair out of place. I was astounded at the next sight that caught my eye. I first saw it as I turned the corner. It was then that I heard laughter. I looked around for Bob Hope, but saw no one. Then as my arm was pulled out of socket fit's a good thing I'm double'-jointedl 1 realized where I was. The center of attraction for was it repulsion?J I was, even Miss Johnston was looking at me. But I was looking at that enormous horse-whip in her hand and that gleam in her -eye. It seems-some- one told me as I was bandaged up-that Miss Johnston had been calling on me to read for the last 15 minutes, but me-I had to go and be a prophet! Oh, well. another day, another zero. -It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.