Memorial High School - Humanist Yearbook (West New York, NJ)

Text from Pages 1 - 120 of the 1928 volume:

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PUBLISHED BY THE june Class of 1928 W 5? . 1 g ,.,, WEST NEW YORK HIGH SCHOOL WEST NEW YORK z-: NEW JERSEY L N 'O O W IH A H5222 Page Two 275 HUM HST11 Jl Foreword E HAVE tried to nialze our Human- ist a palace of rare beauty, to conceal fwithin its portals and refoeal to eager seelzers a whisper of past achievements that belong to the olal West New York High School, a hold tale ofthe clos- ing chapters in its history, anal a hope for future glories at llfletnorial High. IH Maz41irHUM HST4 an-HI Contents I Class Roll of June, 1928 II Editorial II I Literature IV Class Prophecy V Extra-Curriculum Activities VI Departments 1 Alumni 2 Exchange 3 Humor Pg Th I:iFiW 5 WW In 'JHHJNI HESET4 MR. C. A. Wo0nw0R'rH Page Four lu QHIUNIE HST4 I Dedicatiorz p V S A token of respect for him, and as a testimonial of appreciation for what A he has done for us as a class and for the W'est New York-High School, we, the class of June, 1928, dedicate this hook to our friend and princi- pal, A Mr. C. A. Woodwortlz. Page F1 L+. I PM IU 4lHllLlNl HST4 MR. H. L. BAIN Superintendent MR. C. A. VVOUDWORTH Miss BORNEIVIAN Principal Axxistnnt I'rim:ipul We, the Class of June, 1928, extend our thanks to our Superintendent and Principals, who have made our graduation possible. Page Six M25 ' gy? lu AHEIM HSTA Organization of High School for 1928 HARRY L. BAlNl,iSupliT'i1liI?IldF7lf WILLIAM H. LOUNSEURY, General Supervisor HELEN M. BYRNIE, General Supervisor C. A. Woouwonrn, Principal COINIMERCIAL SUBJECTS H. T. Kilburn, Head Teacher Esther E. Hanna Adele Kaempf Isabelle J. Denney DRAW'ING AND DESIGN Edna Stone, Head Teacher , Florence Eldred ENGLISH Doris Burlingame Genevieve Creighton . Zabelle Gabriel Berthe Daniel Virginia Griffiths Emma Hubert Marie Manda John C. McGrath Cornelius O'Connor Eleanor Young HoME ECONOMICS - , Mildred Ackerman, Director Elsie Earl HISTORY AND SOCIAL SCIENCES W. S. Eshleman, Head Teacher Kenneth D. Hart Nicholas Lessner Jay B. Phelps Vincent McGuiness LATIN Alice P. Luckings, Head Teacher Alice J. Halfpenny Mary S. Keegan V1oLA M. DoNovAN, Secretary I'lLIZAliliTl'l V. BORNEMAN, Vice Principal FACULTY MANUAL ARTS W. C. Kauffman, Director Leonard Burns DeWitt Fisher G. K. Mclnerney MATHEMATICS Dorothy Fetterly Bertha Godfrey Mary Robinson G. C. Wagner MODPJRN LANGUAGES Mary Ross, Head Teacher Reintraut M. Eickmann Edna Moreau ' 1 P .f .., MUSIC I K George A. DeLamater, Director NATURAL SCIENCES Herman F.-Krause, Head Teacher Lucv Askam 5 Elvira Chiricosta I Helen Clohosy Robt. H. Rollinsi-JT. Thomas F. Roop I Peter Sottong ' PHYSICAL EDUCATION E. E. Carroll, Director Gertrude Reiley RoSE MILLIMET, Secretary BOARD OF EDUCATION LEO V. Roru, President t LOUIS E. SERF, Vice President MRS. CATHERINE DELAIIUNT LAWVRENCE DINKELSI'IEL CGNEAD GERISCH GEORGE D. KILvENToN, Secretary ' EDNA TEESE, Asst. Secretary Page Seven IU AIHIUM HSTA Humanist Stajj ofJune, 1928 , LOTTIE SPRANZ Business SAMUEL VOLPE HARRY BOORSTEIN STEPHEN SKRINAR Advertising HERBERT STELLJES MORRIS SKOBLOW ROBERT MCELWREATH JEAN BACH PAUL LOSICK Art HENRY FINK Music ,A ' RITA GAMBABUTO WILLIAM MULLESTEIN Exchange FELIX MANICARDI MAX BENDETSON Editor-in-Chief WILLIAM BOESLING Literary Editors Department .Managers Editors AHumor HARRY KORTREY FRED PRUSSAK MERRILL LEAVITT Faculty Advisers - MISS DORIS Z. BURLINGAME MISS ELEANOR YOUNG JOHN KOVAC Circulation LAURENCE WAGNER GRACE SIMON JOHN COLASANTI Secretaries DOROTHEA MADDIEN ELEANOR EMPTAGE Drama BETTY DAVIS Athletics - SHELDON DAVIS SYLVIA DORFMAN Alumni CATHERINE MARTIN' JAMES MARTIN Page Af ine THE THINKER l , W , -AX. 'WW IU sa-HHM USVHH .IOSEPHINE ALBRECHT ACADEMIC BUSINESS Dexnosthcnesg Elliot and Carlyle English Clubsg Senior Plays. Ever charmirig, ever new, When wzll she ever Zire our vzcw? EVA C. ARTHUR ACADEMIC N E XVAR K NOR MAL Elliot and Cameo English Clubsg Cast of Senior Playsg A.A. Those happy smilits that played 011 her ripe lip. JEAN BACH ACADEMIC BUSINESS Monitor, '26-'27g Dickens English Clubg Humanist Staff. IIe's tough, ma'am',-tough is .l. B. Page Eleven HFTAZE YW qu AHUM HSTA Page Twelve THOMAS C. BASMAJY ACADEMIC U, 5, C, Basketball Squad, '24-'25, Varsity Basketball, '26- '28g Varsity Baseball, '27-'28, Football Squad, '26g Elliot, Lowell, and Demosthenes English Clubs, Cast of' Senior Plays. I hold he loves me best that calls me Torn. MAX BENDETSEN ACADEMIC COLLEGE Humanist Staff 3 Boys Glee Club, '24-'27, Cast of Operettag Varsity Traglf Eeam, '25, Elliot English u . - So on the tip of his subduing tongue All kinds of arguments and questions deep. WILLIAM BOESLING ACADEMIC UNDECIDED Editor-in-Chief of Humanist, I Glee Club, '24-255 Orchestra, '25-'27g Cast of Senior Playsg Operetta Castg Football, '26g Track, '25g- Monito1'. He was a scholar, and a ripe and good one 5 Exceeding wise, fair-spoken, and persuading. 'Emi Qs lu Rriiium rsfira HARRY BOORSTEIN ACADEMIC LAW AND BUSINESS Humanist Staff , Vice-Pres. of Class, '26-'27, President of Class, '27-'28, Discussion Club, '25-'28, Vice- Pres. of Discussion Club, '27, Glee Club, '24-'27, Cast of Operettag Monitor, , '24-'28, Head Monitor, '28, Football, '26, Track, '25, Ass't Manager of Basketball, '26-'27, Man- ager, 28 , Cast of Senior Plays, Varsity De- bating Team, '27, Elliot English Club. The mirror of all courtesy. HEDWIG BOSHARDT Elliot English Club. ACADEMIC BUSLNHSS Silence is the perfcctest herald of joy, I were but little happy, if I could say how much. DOUGLAS BREWER COMMERCIAL BUSINESS Orchestra, '25-'28, President, '27-'28, Carlyle English Club, Remington, '28, Smith, '32, Underyvood, '33, O.A.T., O.G.A.g 60 Word Transcription. Thou foster-child of silence and slow lime. Page Thirteen I:Ii'i'ii- IU AHIUNI USTA j 1 -4 , EA 1 Page Fourteen G2 PETER CATOZZIO ACADEMIC UN DECIDED Track, '25g Varsity Baseball, '27-'28g Varsity Football, '27-'28g Cast of Senior Playsg Elliot and Dickens English Clubs. He proffd best man i' the field. NATALE CECERE ACADEMIC COLUMBIA Elliot, Dickens, and Carlyle English Clubsg Monitor, 328 An ajfable and courteous gentleman. THEODORE COHEN GENERAL UNDECIDED Elliot English Clubg Cast of Senior Playsg Monitor, '24-'25g Caesar Latin Clubg Boys' Glee Club, '25. 'fYou see that boy laughing?- You think he's all fun. In mimi istt HST4 JOHN COLASANTI i ACADEMIC COOPER UNION Humanist Staff g Discussion Club, '27-'28g Monitor, '26-'283 Stage Manager of Senior Playsg Cameo and Elliot English Clubs. The ladies call him sweet. EDWARD Ctmsmcv ACADEMIC Gym Team, '247'28g Track, '25g Dickens English Clubg Champion Metropolitan Interscholastxc A.A.U. Tumbler, 1928. To be strong is to be happy. B1-:TTY DAVIS ACADEMIC ART SCHOOL Demosthenes, Dickens, and Elliot English Clubsg Girls' Glee Club, '24g Cast of Senior Playsg Humanist Staff. Framed in the procligality of nature. Page Fifgeen liisifs YW Y IH QHHLJNI HSIP4 Page Sixteen - 'sf PHILIP DAVIS ACADEMIC IOWA STATE UNIVERSITY Carlyle and Dickens English Clubsg Interclass Base- ball, '26g Orchestra, '27-'28. His 'words are bonds, his oaths are oracles. S JAY SHELDON DAVIS ACADEMIC U. OF PENNA. Owl and Dickens English Clubs 3 Varsity Baseball, '27-,283 Varsity Basketball, '28g Cast of Senior Playsg Humanist Staffg Vice-Pres. of Senior Class, ,28. Whcvice is thy learning? 'Hath thy toil Oler books consumed the midnight oil? NUBAR DIN KJ IAN TECH NICAL COOPER UNION Orchestra, '26-'27g Elliot and Acme English clubsg Nature Club, '24g Concerts, '26-'27g A.A. He cometh unto you with stories that holdcth children from their play, and old men from the chimney corner. I 1, 1-Ising I 01. W7 P32- lu 4lHl'UNI lIST4 SYLVIA N. DORFINIAN Ac,-uzmiic COLL1-:GE Discussion Clubg '27-'28, Cast of Senior Plays, Social Committee, ,285 Acme and Dickens English Clubs, Humanist Staff. O merry heart goes all day. MORRIS DWOSKIN ACADEMIC RUTGERS Varsity Basketball, '26-3285 Discussion Clubg Glee Club, '24-'25g Tennis Team, '28. His mind relaxing from needful sport, Doth turn to writers of an able sort. EDNA WALLACE EAKIN ACADENIIC COLUMBIA EXTENSION Elliot English Club, Cast of Senior Plays, Typing Clubg A.A.g Remington, 305 Smith, 403 Under- wood, 40g O.A.T.g C.T.C. Genleel in personage, Conduct and equipage. Page Seventeen HES? WWW? ln smmil rswra Page Eighteen ELEANOR EMPTAGE COMMERCIAL BUSINESS Humanist Staff 5 cast of Senior Playsg Secretary of Class, '26-'27g Secretary and Treasurer of Class, '27-'28g Treasurer of Class, '25-'26. Is she not passing fair? 1 ' vial'-f I Tlx I 4 J osEPH FARINA TECHNICAL STEVENS INSTITUTE Gym Team, '24-'28g Mark Twain and Carlyle English Clubsg Cast of Senior Playsg A.A. He hath the strength of twenty men. HENRY FINK INDUSTRIAL SYBACUSE UNIVERSITY Humanist Staff 5 Student Councilg Carlyle English Clubg Pres. of A.A., '24g Glee Club, '23g Track, '23-'24g Varsity Basketball, '23-'24, '273 Varsity Football, '24, ,275 Art Club. Sneh heaifnly figures from his pencil flow, So warm with light his blended colors glow. Nh' IU 4lHllLlNl lflSVlT4 WILLIAM FUCHS TECHNICAL Orcliestra, '24-'25g Glee Club, '24g Monitor, '24-'26, Dickens, Ac-ine, anal Elliot English Clubg Stage Mnnuger of Senior Plays. I !l71SlL'l'l' nl! things fniihfully. RITA GAMBARUTO ACADEMIC Demosthenes, Dickens, and Carlyle English Clubsg Glee Club, '27g Himinnist Staffg Orchestra, '27-'28. O, she will sing the savagmzcss out of a bear. WALTPJR CiERISCH TECIINICAL BUSINESS Gym Team, '24-'28g Calft. '26-,283 Cast of Senior Plays, Carlyle, Dickens, and Cameo English Clubs, A.A., '24. L O, it is 6Cl'Cl'lll'7lt to have a gianfs strength. Page Nineteen ,9 lu sfialitiwi irsriira W 1 ti Page Twenty v we .1 Q A ff! Q, FR11-:DA HARRIS ACADEMIC Glee Club, '24-l25, Demosthenes and Carlyle English Clubs, Mandolin Club, '26, Cast of Senior Plays, Social Committee, '28. O, she dances such a way! No sun upon an Easter day Is half so fine a sight. AIDA JACOBS ACADEIVIIC NORMAL Discussion Club, '25-'27, Sec. of Discussion, '27, Elliot and Dickens English Clubs, '27, Cast of Senior Plays, Debating Team, '27. She hath prosperous art when she will play with reason and discourse. HERBERT KAHN TECHNICAL COLU D151-A Acme and Dickens' English Club, Boys' Glee Club, '24-'28, Vice-Pres. of Glee Club, '28, Cast of Operetta, '25, Advertising Manager of Senior Plays, Cast of Senior Plays, Senior Orchestra, '25-'26, Head Monitor, A.A. I am the very pink of courtesy. IU ALHIUM HSWTA KERMIT JOHN KALNA GENERAL COOPER UNION Art Cluhg Stage Manager of Senior Playsg Mark 'Twain and Carlyle English Clubsg Monitor. I am not in the role of common men. SARAH KAREL ACADEMIC NEVVARK NORMAL Elliot, Demosthenes, and Dickens English Clubsg Spanish Clubg Cast of Spanish Playg A.A. She Hants upon thc river of our thoughts. HARRY KORTRE1' COINIMERCIAL BUSINESS Humanist Staffg Monitor, '26-'27g Carlyle English Clubg Discussion Clubg Cast of Senior Playsg A.A., '24-l25. Mirth, admit me of thy crew. Page Twcn! y-one 4 fy- f,,,,. I ALA. -R. 'L'-ff l YWQYYF 'U WHUNI HST4 Page Twenty-lu-n . i A, ! hiv., f ff ':clf..z .1 ' 'J OVAC W ' TECHNICAL COOPER UNION Associate Editor of Humanist 5 Cameo and Dickens English Clubs, Orchestra, '27-'28, Cast of Senior Plays 5 Glee Club, '28, Operetta, '25g Concerts, '26-l28. And wisely tell what hour ol th' day The clock does strike by Algebra. MARGARET KUHN COM MERCIAL Dickens English Club, Underwood, 305 Royal, 303 Remington, 305 Smith, 305 Junior O.A.T.g 60 Transcription Test. A peace above all earthly dignities, A still and qulet conscience. MERRILL LEAVITT ACADEMIC POMONA COLLEGE, CALIF. Glee Club, '24g Humanist Staff, Dickens English Clubg Cast of Senior Plays, Chorus, '28g A.A. History casts its shadow far into the laml of song. 'Q 'V'i' lu QHIIUM HSWQF4 SHIRLEY LEAVITT ACADEMIC Glee Club, '24-l25g Cast of Senior Playsg Carlyle Club, Monitor, '26. What should a man do but be merry? PAUL LOSICK ACADEMIC N. J. COLLEGE OF PHARMACY Pres. of Miss Randolph's English Club, '24g Monitor, '25g Lowell, Elliot, and Carlyle English-Clubsg Discussion Club, '27-'28g Humanist Staff. Let me have audience for a word or two. PHILIP LUSTBADER ACADEMIC COLUMBIA Lowell, Elliot, and Carlyle English Clubsg Miss 'Randolph's English Club, '24, Discussion Club, '27-'283 Glee Club, '26g Inter-class Debating. Just at the age 'twixt boy and youth. l Page Twenty-three H225 wr IU QU-HIUM HST4 Page Tnzenty-four DOROTHEA MADDIEN GENERAL BUSINESS Humanist Staff 5 Carlyle and Elliot English Clubs 5 Discussion Clubg Cast of Senior Plays 3 Under- wood, 42g Smith, 38, Remington, 50, C.T.C., 52, Junior O.A.T.g Senior O.A.T., Vice- President of Speed Club, Junior O.G.A.g 60, 80, 100 Gregg Tran- scription, 100 word Radio Contest. To those who know thee not, no words can paint! And those who know thee, know all words are faint! N. FELIX MANICARDI GENERAL ACADEMIC UNDECIDED Orchestra, '24, Tennyson and Carlyle English Clubsg Discussion Club, '26-'28g Vice-President of Dis- cussion Club, '28, Monitor, '27-'28, De- bating squad, '27, Cast of Senior Plays, Football, '27, Humanist Staff. He reads much, He is a great observer, and looks Quite through the deeds of men. PALMIRA MARTIGNONE GENERAL TRENTON NORMAL Carlyle, Tennyson and Demosthenes English Clubsg Cast of Senior Plays 5 Smith, 46g A.A- A daughter of the gods, Divinely tall, And most divinely fair. K gf' lu AHIINZE HST4 CATHERINE MARTIN ACADEMIC NEWARK NORMAL Dickens and Cameo English Clubs 5 Social Commit- tee, '24-'25g Cast of Senior Plays g Humanist Staff. A face with gladness overspfread. J AMES MARTIN ACADEMIC BUSINESS Humanist Staff 3 Glee Club, '24-'25g Elliot and Cameo English Clubsg Monitor, '25g Cast of Senior Plays. .I am-not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men. ANNA MAURO ACADEMIC NEWARK NORMAL Social Committee, '25g Cameo, Elliot and Tennyson English Clubs 5 Chorus, '2S. Exceedingly small but exceedingly sweet. Page Twenty-j'ive K, fl I. tl 5 M ll Sf xl 9' .4 . tw ixg, ?' A M g IU 4HHHwJ'I, HST4 Page Twenty-six ROBERT MCELWREATH TECHNICAL COOPER UNION Humanist Staffg Glee Club, '26-'28g Pres. Glee Club, '28g Cameo and Tennyson English Clubg Cast of Senior Plays g Operettag Concert, '27-'28g Baseball Squad, '28, Monitor, A.A. I dare do all that may become a man. WILLIAM MULLESTEIN TECHNICAL CORNELL Humanist Staffg Acme, Cameo and Dickens English Clubsg Boys' Glee Club, '27-'28, Football, '26g Baseball Squad, '28g Concert, '27-'28g I Monitor, A.A. . In every deed of mischief, he had a heart to resolve, a head to contrzve, and a hand to execute. HOWARD PALMER ACADEMIC OXFORD Track, '25g Football, '26g President Acme English Club, Cast of Senior Playsg Treasurer Class, '25g Demosthenes English Club. Foy' I am weary, .and am overwrought With too much toil, with too much care distraught. V , 4 QR i V. yy, r A 1 -1' . In 4nwig User ANTONETTE PELCAK COMMERCIAL nnsixnss Curlyle English Clubg Speed Clubg Junior' O.A.T.g Senior O.A.T.g O.G.A.g Royal, 403 Underwood, 405 Smith, 363 Remington, 323 Transcription Tests, 60, 805 100-Word Radio Contest. For she is jes' the quiet kind l'Vhose 'natures newer nary. ARTHUR PERRONE ACAD!-IM IC COLLEGE Monitor, '26-'27g Head Monitor, '27, Class Base- ball Team, '26g Carlyle and Tennyson English Clubs. What can I say better than silence is? EDMUND PIANO ACADEMIC COOPER UNION Track, '25g Demosthenes English Club g Vice-Pres. Carlyle English Clubg Discussion Clubg Monitor, Cast of Senior Playsg Baseball, '28. A man he seems of cheerful yesterdays And confident tnmorrows. Page 'llweffzty-smwn Qu lu 4lHllUNl HSTl 4 l 1 Page Twenty-eight FRED PRUSSAK ACADEMIC IOWA STATE UNIVERSITY Humanist Staffg Orchestra, '24-'25g Glee Club, Oper- etta, '25, Discussion Club, '24-'26, Debating Team, '27-'28g Captain Debating Team, '27-'28, Elliot English Clubg Winner of Extemporaneous Speaking Contest, '26g Second Team Basket- ball, '25. In arguing too, he own'd his skill, For euen though vanquished he could argue still. ABEL PUKIN ACADEMIC UN DECIDED Caesar Latin Clubg French Club, Tennyson and Acme English Clubs. He thought as a sage, though he felt as a man. ROBERT ROULSTON TECHNICAL NORMAL Tennyson English Club, Monitor, '26-'28g Cast of Senior Playsg Mandolin Class, '25. Happy am I, from care Fm free! Why ar'n't they all contented like me? 'fri' Il 4lHllLlNl HSVlT4 LUCY SALVATORE ACADEMIC UNDECIDED Cast of Senior Playsg Chorus, l27g Elliot, Dickens and Demosthenes English Clubs. She that was ever fair and never proud, Hath tongue at will and yet was never loud. J OHN SARKISIAN TECHNICAL COLLEGE Acme, Dickens and Cameo English Clubs, Cast of Senior Playsg Varsity Football, '25-'27g Captain of Football Team, '27g Varsity Baseball, '27-'28g Captain of Baseball Team, l28g Gym Team, '24. He is a veray parfit gentil knight. GRACE SIMON ACADENIIC UNDECIDED Humanist Staff, Elliot and Dickens English Clubs: Social Committeeg Cast of Senior Plays, Chorus 5 Secretary of Class, '27. She would talk, Lord, how she talked. Page Twenty-nine H5325- in 4 HUM l'yi4HS3T4 tit? Page Thirty MORRIS SKOBLOW ACADEMIC COLUAIBIA Humanist Staff, Discussion Club, '26-'28, Inter-class Debating Team, Cast of Senior Plays, Inter-class Tennis, Monitor, '25, Carlyle, Lowell and Elliot English Clubs. Ycu'd scarce expect one of my age To speak in public on the stage. STEPHEN SKRINAR ACADEMIC BRONVN Humanist Staffg Cast of Senior Plays, Dickens and Elliot English Clubsg Chorus, '27, Football, '26, My thoughts are my companions. LOTTIE SPRANZ COMMERCIAL BUSINESS Associate Editor of Humanist, Cast of Senior Plays: Dickens English Club, Secretary Speed Clubg O.G.A.g Gregg Transcription Tests, 60, 80, 100g Smith, 505 Remington, 405 Under- wood, 50, C.T.C., 645 Senior O.A.T. 100-word Radio Shorthand Con- , test, Royal, 53. Charms strike the sight, but merit wins thc soul. E25 XWWQ' Y lu EIHHLM H3111 HERBERT STELLJHES ACADEMIC CORNELL Humanist Stuff: Cast of Senior Playsg Carlyle and Elliot English Clubs. I value science-no-ne can praise it more. MARIE Toon ACADEMIC MARGUERITE BOURGEOYS Cast of Senior Playsg Lowell, Elliot and Dickens English Clubsg Monitor, '25-'28g Glee Club, '24g A.A. The mildest manners and the gentlest heart. ANTHONY TRUNCELLITO ACADEMIC ALABAMA UNIVERSITY Gym Team, '24-'25g Discussion Club, '25g Demos- thenes, Carlyle and Tennyson English Clubsg ' Monitor, '26-'28g A.A. Were I so tall to reach the pole! f , 1 . , .'1 ff ,,1, ff I'!f,'6. 10' , fw.fZfn1. T if f Z 1 Page Thirty-one wnqi L95 L IH EHUM HSWQFE Page Thirty-two 1 SAMUEL VOLPE ACADEMIC CORNELL Humanist Staff 3 Track, '25, Elliot, Demosthenes, Dicken's English Clubsg Discussion Clubg Vice- President Discussion Club, Varsity Debating Teamg Monitor, '27-'28g Chorus, '27. Tell ffm' you can! what is it to be wise. WILLIAM VRECENAK ACADEMIC UNDECIDED Cast of Senior Plays, Dickens, Carlyle, Demosthenes and Elliot English Clubs, Chorus, '27g Glee Club, '25-'26. Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear. LAWRENCE WAGNER ACADEMIC STEVENS INSTITUTE Humanist Staff, Lowell, Elliot, Cameo and De- mosthenes English Clubsg Cast of Senior Plays, Class President, '25-'26, Class Vice-President, '26-'27. Up! up! my friend, and quit your books, Or surely you'll grow double! , lf? gf! 1 , e fv .j , s S J 'W fu 4lfHllUNl LISTS LOUIS WARDI ACADEMIC STEVENS INSTITUTE Cast of Senior Playsg Football Squad, '26g Varsity Football, '27g Demosthenes, Elliot and Carlyle English Clubsg Glee Club, '25-'26g Cast of Operetta. The glass of fashion and the mold of form. JAMES WALSH GENERAL N. Y. U. At Dickinson: Captain of Bowling Teams Came -to W. N. Y., Oct., 1927. Whose words all ears took capllve. Class Motto y He conquers who conquers himself Class Ojicers Harry Boorstein ..............,......... ....... ' .,.,.. . President Sheldon Davis ...... ............... V ice-President Eleanor Emptage . . . . , . . Secretary and Treasurer Class Flower ,Class Colors Sweet Peas Blue and Gold Page Thirty-lhreex IH QHIUNI HST4 Appreciation .For their unfailing efforts as critics to make our pube lication a success, we extend our sincere appreciation to our teachers and' friends, W Miss Doris Z. Burlingame Miss Eleanor Young Miss Moreau, Mr. Kilburn, Miss Gabriel: Wfe cannot help but hold you in highest esteem for to you came the difficult task of guiding us through the hard- ships and pitfalls of our early days in West New York High School. e To lWiss hlanna: The unsparing use of your time for the typing work in the effort to make our year book a success brings forth our class' heartfelt thanks. To our class teachers, Miss Robinson and Mr. Phelps, whom we now lea-ve: Please accept our sincere grati- tude for your help in the past and our good wishes for your future in West New York High School. Page Thirty-four 3-'I' -,,,,- - Y 2+ Y -L V .,- I ..l ' , i fi: X -Q 4 in 5, D ilk . Fly On! INCH the duy the first prehistoric' tribe selected one of its nuinber to find :1 new home, society has recognized the worth of the explorer. Where the ex- plorer goes, eivilizution follows. He is the prerunner of IL state. lt is he who dis- eovers the hind and its vulue, his nation who seizes :ind holds it. It enn also be truly said that the greatness of zu stute rests inueh on the explorer. Marc-o Polo opened the eastern riches of Chinn :ind .lupnn to ltuly :ind the zlppreeiutive lYest. Magellan and Columbus improved the eofifers of Spain. Cubot gnve lflnglzind her first eluini to America. But people ure now inelined to lower the value of the explorer. They wish to know whut reinzlins to be diseovered. They underestirnute the hardships en- eount-ered :uid term present day exploring as :L Udeud ezisy gzunef' All they do, st-offs the unknowing one, is to get :L plune :ind hop over the North or South Pole. No hardships, no fuss, no worry, und less exploring. But, tzlke that Irislnnzin und those Gerinzins- Granted Byrd, Aniundsen. und Wilkins did this. Yet they had their troubles. One day when asked why he had written his book on his transzitlontie travels, Byrd looked einbzirrassed, then blurted out laeonieully, t'lVloney. Yes, inoney, the chief worry of your inodern explorer. How their plane will net in eold eliinzite is another bother. XVZIS not Wilkins forced down ut Greenland? As to their work, it w:1sn't inueh. They only mapped the North Pole and showed eonelusively the total zibsenee of hind. Byrd went further still. He inzide 11 flight over the Atluntie to test various seientifie npp:u':1tus. In the niidst of our hero worship of transzitlantie flyers let us give ri little interest, to Byrd's eoining trip over the South Pole and Nobile's over the North Pole. And 1nost of ull plziee in our private hull of heroes the nznne of those Courageous inodern explorers, VVilkins, Amundsen, :ind Byrd. f--VVILLIASI Boifs1.1No Page Thirl y-Eve LITERATVRE I:iF'r?5 Wt IU QHUM HST4 , Just A Bit Off AT LAST, exclaimed Dr.'Dogood aloud though there was no one around to hear him, 'Tm sure this is just what I want! f r H' f A The doctor, nervous from excitement and lack of sleep, again bent over a kettle-shaped receptacle which contained a greasy fluid. He closed the valve at the spout and turned the gas flame under it a bit higher. ' - After a few minutes of impatient waiting, the physician opened the valve and smelled the gray-colored vapor which was emitted. , HA trifle too much ether, I think-it might put one to sleep-if he breathed too much of it. Well, I'll fix that, he concluded. Thereupon Dr. Dogood went to a distant end of the laboratory, sat down and checked up on his latest gas formula. He had no sooner sat down, than Mose, the doctor's trusted negro-servant, entered the room. Has yo' discovered dat dere gas yet, Doc? he queried. ' I've almost gotit now, Mose, replied the doctor. Just a few minor changes, and it will be perfect. - fa f'Well, I'se certain' glad ob dat, 'case I'm beginning to feel mighty funny about all, dis yere experimentation. I just knows no good will come ob it. 'Tain't right, Doc. No Sir,- 'tain't, 'tain't natchralf' - ' ' ' The doctor, however, assured him that everything would be all right, and the good- natured, though superstitious negro left. . After he had gone, Dogood wondered whether his experimentation was f'natchral. For years, he had believed in the theory that the electrocuted could be resurrected! Startling as this may sound, others had thought likewise and had given much basis for the presumption. Doctor Dogood reasoned thus: Q First: The nervous system is only shocked into inactivity when a person is electrocuted. It may be made to function again by proper treatment. ' . - - Secondly: Electrocuted persons are therefore not killed by the electricity which passes through them but by the autopsy performed afterward. , ' Though he had expressed these views to his associates on nume1'ous occasions, he had always been ridiculed. Even his boy-hood chum and lifelong friend, Dr. Charles Keepwell, had proclaimed him, Just a bit off. - Now, Dogood was nearing his goal. Success and world fame, long waited, would soon be his! Long years of hard study and patient toil would not have been in vain! Still more important to his pride was the fact that he would prove to his colleagues that he was right! He would show Charlie that he was not, Just a bit off. AVI little, later the Doctor asked of his servant, f'Has the body arrived from Sing Sing yet, ose? Yas, Doc, it done came this mawning, he answered. 'fThat's fine. Have you laid it out on the slab as I told you? No, Sah, I ain't going to hab nothing to do wid no corpse, admitted Mose shiveringly. Well, I'll lay it out myself then, said Dogood and turned to go, but he again faced the servant, I know this is your afternoon off, Mose, but if you'll stay and help me around the laboratory, I'll give you ten dollars extra this month. What do you say? Now money was Mose's middle name but he wished to appear important. Well, Doc, seein' it's you, I'll do it, but for no one else would I ever stay in the same room wid a corpse. ' h The doctor thanked him and both proceeded to the laboratory to prepare and make t e test. Now, Mose, you must be quiet, I can't be bothered answering your fool questions, the doctor rebuked him somewhat sternly. Of course this body isn't going to'rise up and hurt you. If you keep still and do as I tell you, I'll give you twenty instead of ten. Thus quieted the negro said nothing more, though his teeth chattered continuously and his knees shook so violently as to make themselves audible across the room. Now get me that bottle of gas. Light the flame under the kettle. Such commands were given and executed promptly for the next two hours. The doctor, himself. worked unceasingly over the body. I think it is responding. I'm sure it moved slightly then, commented the doctor. d t:Yas, Doc, Mose managed to stammer, 'fit shore moved dat time and Ah hopes for e est. Page Thirty-seven ll aiititiivii rswra Thenfslowly the body rose from the slab to a sitting posture. The eyelids seemed to quiver-then opened wide. The look on the face was ghastly, unearthy-just an expres- sionless, blank stare made more horrible by the greenish pallor of the cheeks. The eyelids seemed not to move. The breathing, at first like the gasping of a person choked, was now quite regular. Only part of the body seemed revived, the breathing and the muscular system. But the face bore a look of the grave, so deathly pale and blank it appeared. P Oh golly, was all that Mose dared to breathe. The body moved itself off the table and- stood erect-stood gazing at its creator with an almost accusing stare. Perhaps the doctor only imagined the stare was accusing. Then his conscience rebuked him saying, f'You, a mere mortal of a physician have dared to bring this body back to life! You have dared to meddle with the laws of man and nature-have done that which only One Man ,had power to dol You have done all this! VVell, suffer the consequences! You only are to blame. Suddenly, with all the fury of a demon, the resurrected one gave the most piercing, ear-splitting screcch, waved its arms wildly and ran toward the doctor as one who wougd destroy all in its way. Dogood knew at once what was the matter and a look of dread rather than disappoint- ment crept over his face. The body was a lunatic, a dangerous, violent one. In deducing his theory, the doctor had failed to take into consideration this important possibility: when one is electrocuted, his mind deteriorates from the shock! What it lacked in mind, the body made up in strength. In life a strong, vigorous body, it now possessed ape-like power. Certain death faced both the physician and his aide unless they could reach the door from the laboratory ahead of the maniac. 'AI knew it! I done tol' you so! No good ever come from meddlin' wid a dead pusson, fairly shouted Mose. It am de debil, hisself, come to kill us for interferin' with one ob his angels! To the door! Run or you're lost, cried the doctor. How they reached the door, Dr. Dogood never knew. But they did and managed to slam it shut in the very face of the crazed being. The pounding of the lunatic upon the door was deafening and vibrated throughout the building. The doctor dismissed the negro with, Go home now, Mose. But don't mention this thing to anyone. I'll pay you Well if you'll do as I say. The negro promised to keep it secret and left the house hurriedly. After MQse.had gone, Dogood went to the library, sat down and reflected. 'tWhat shall I do now? he questioned himself. Here I ani with a demon on my hands-one of my own creation! Would it be murder to shoot or poison him? It would, he reasoned. 'iWhat then? I can't keep it here for long undetected. Even if I could, I would be in constant dread of it. I couldn't work with that on my mind. I would soon go crazy myself. He felt himself considerably aged already. Then he felt himself being shaken! Could it be the maniac had freed himself and was going to kill him now? Somebody was speaking to him, Feel better now, old man? A strangely familiar voice. Yes, the voice of Charlie Keepwell. But he couldn't see him. Everything seemed hazy. Slowly, as he opened his eyes, he made out the features of his friend. He, himself, was sitting in the chair in his laboratory. Been experimenting as usual, eh? asked Keepwell. And you went to sleep from the gas you left boiling. Well, it's a lucky think I happened in. You might have slept a I-o-n-g time. F Like a Hash of lightning from the sky it dawned upon him. He had been asleep. He had dreamed this awful nightmare. He was glad that it was but a dream. For him, ii would never be a reality. Yes, I guess I did fall asleep, Charlie. Dogood admitted. t'Thanks for waking me. I f'Are you still experimenting on that 'Resurrection Gas' of yours? queried Keepwell musing y. H Y y','No, Charlie, replied the man who had learned a lot from a dream, I was 'Just a bit o . -JAMES MARTIN Page Thirty-eight stirs ll arutmi rswra v The Awakening IEVERYONE has an awakening at least once in his life time and mine most unfortunately occurs each and every morning. Now, when morning makes up its mind to enter a home, no one can make it change its mind. That's precisely what happens in my household. There are many and sundry methods of awakening onels full mental faculties in the early morning. One system requires the removing of the bulwark from my prostrate, innocent, sleeping figure and allowing my heated body to come in contact with the healthful clime of the surrounding atmosphere, warmed to perhaps zero degrees. If this does not suc- ceed, try again, which includes brother and sister playing marbles and piano on the soles of my feet or perhaps in the unprotected and vulnerable regions of the armpits. But alasl I am a sound and hearty sleeper and such trif'les have small effect upon my slumber. Mother then persists in turning on the radio or shouting in my ears to rattle my brains, but to no avail. The last and most effective resort is then brought into play. Mother and the kiddies, yes, delightful, quiet, innocent creatures that they are, fill a pail of that liquid composed of H20 or at least a good imitation of it and drag it to the bedside. And there lie poor unprotected I, wholly susceptible to the attacks of my enemies, with the innocence of slumber gracing my manly brow. Mother then upsets the contents of the pail upon me and then and there my sleep for the time being is over. I am thoroughly and rudely aroused and begin making statements, that one would only say to his mother when she plays so deceitful a trick upon him, to the effect that she will receive no Christmas present from her dear son. The first part of mother's task, however, is over. No longer can I linger in my bed where the big warm sheets, once calling unto me. now wet and cold, repel my very being. No longer can brother and sister play 'This Little Piggic Goes To Market upon my toes, unless they desire to be smitten upon the hind quarters. , Well, such is politics. There are both Wets and Drys, and after my first experience in the morning, I am thoroughly convinced, that for the welfare of the general health of the coming generation, this nation should turn bone dry. I am, however, fully awakened and rise to a dryer and more perpendicular position. The next episode comes rather naturally and is entitled, The Great Hunt. Somehow my trousers never seem to be next to my shirt-and my shoes-they're surely in the wilds of the next room, or perhaps I'm fortunate and find them under the bed. Thereupon, I. painfully lower myself to my knees, which at the ripe old age of 18 is a most difficult and humiliating episode and crawl and grasp for the pair. Most of the time I come up with one of mine and one of some one else's, upon which I return to the dark caravan of labor and search for the other one. On my return, I invariably raise myself before the end of the bed is reached, and then most unfortunately wood meets wood with a resounding crash, but I arise the victor. Glory of glories, I have a pair of shoes, my trousers, and a shirt. Life isn't so bad after all. The socks and the other paraphernalia are then procured with more or less effort. I then wander toward the regions of the bathroom where new and untold adventures await my presence. Mind you, only sometimes do I amble. Many are the times when one of the family desires the use of the lavatory at the same time and it is a wellknown fact that two of the same family will not and can not be quietly and peacefully harbored in the same bathroom. Then there ensues the race of the century, a most thrilling sprint, where the winner is just as liable to procure a blow in the Shins as the coveted bathroom. But life is stern and thorny and we must strive mightily to succeed. In the bathroom, I frankly admit. that I am a lunatic. There can be no doubt about it. Freed from the harness of society and conventionalism. I am king of my own domain. Here I test the depth and quality of my tone and vie with Martinelli and Caruso in the art of bringing down roofs, chandeliers, and most unappreciative comment from my neighbors. But I have found the reason for my neighbors' knocking. It is not dissatisfaction, no indeed, it is--jealousy, plain envy: for I'm the best yodeler in the neighborhood and when my hale and hearty voice arises, all others sink into obscurity. That. however. is not my only reason for shrieking 'tThe Prisoner's Song or UThe Blue Danube. There is no lock upon the door and this is merely a warning and signal to the ignorant. that the bathroom is already preoccupied. So, as an eminent humorist would say, It's a system. But the worst is yet to come. Mind you, I admitted once before that I became a lunatic upon entering the bathroom. I merely wish to repeat it, so that I may impress the fact. upon you. 0 Page Thirty-nine lu QHHM HST4 Next in line of events, I take a cold shower. Brrrl I shudder even to think of it. If one would ask me why I take a cold shower each morning, I would raise the old plea of defense-insanity, or perhaps wishing to save the remnants of my reputation, I would say that it refreshes me and brings all my sleeping faculties into full power. But these argu- ments are the height of foolishness, After the kiddies play hide and seek all over you, and a pitcher of cold water is poured down your neckg after you sprint for the bathroom and receive a blow in the shinsg after all these can not awaken you, then, Horatio, the time has arrived when it is necessary to take your measurements and find the size of the cheesebox you will occupy Ctill you are reincarnated into an ass or donkeyb. Nevertheless, I confess, I take a cold shower every morning: I tread timidly into the tub, turn on the shower and jump-yes jump, but in the opposite direction, out of danger of that icy stream that wished to envelope me. I then make up my mind to enter at the count of three--1-2-3. But, perhaps, I shouldn't go under so quickly. There is plenty of time and the Water does look chilly. But no, my iron will is revealed. I will go under at the count of three. 1-2-3-4-55 there's still plenty of time. If they gave Tunney 14 counts instead of ten, I surely am entitled to five instead of three. At last I'm -beneath the shower, and I mutter under my breath the words of the popular song, Happiness, I guess, is just a memory. I then follow the shower up with a brisk rub down and dry myself thoroughly. By that time, if by good fortune it is Saturday or Sunday, I am so tired by my efforts, that I go right back to bed. -FRED PRUssAK- Impressions ofa Day i A welt of red-Dawng The ecstatic note of a lark's song, The stir of leaves, fresh from sleep, The tinkle of a bell, the ba-a of sheep. Melted sunbeams-Morningg A world fresh from the Dawning, The tremble of dewdrops on the flowers, The thought of the coming golden hours. A sapphire sky-Noon, The middle of a fragrant day too soon, The clatter of dishes, steaming water, The laughing departure of son or daughter. A sun-liquid gold-twilight, The delicate messenger of night, Bringing with it a cloud of gray, The illusion that wraps up day. N ight-the firelight glowg Dreams of a sheltered long-ago, Then sleep, smelling of lavender sweet, Steals in on slender quicksilvered feet. -DORUFHEA MADDIEN Dawn. . . Sunset Out of a dark and dreary dawn you came With smiling lips and laughing eyes agleam. Straightway the sombre mists of morning fled And in their place, just as a glad sun's beam Sifts through the gates of night its rosy flame And lends its splendor to the azure skies, So your glad advent thrilled, and seemed to be Sunrise and the true dawn of life to me. Now you are gone. But though I sit alone, Left in the darkling dusk of falling years, As twilight lingers in the crimson west Your silver laughter echoes in my ears. Though just a mem'ry is the dream that's flown, For its bright dawning I have no regret. The night we parted I've forgotten, yet I canlt forget the magic night we met. ' Q-LOTTIE SPRANZ Page Forty l ' . k 9 I .fm In aiaiwi rsre Poor Miserable Fool HOW the wind blew! It bore such a threat and menace in its moaning and howling that it seemed to come from the city of Death. To the villagers- of P- theeclouds, lightning and torrents of rain were not the insensate, careless play of the elements but a punishment for some specific reason. ' At every repetition of the shrieking wind and the beating rain, Jevais, the innkeeper, of the village of P--, glanced anxiously up from the paper that he was reading and drew closer to the comforting fire. Finishing an article, he leaned back in his chair and meditated on what he had just read. One could readily see that it had left an unfavorable impression. A And the two thousand dollar reward was given him. For what? Even I could have cap- tured him if chance so favored me. He with enough money to put me on my feet again! Bah! Work, work and more work with nothing to get me on but this measly hole. Getting up he agitatedly walked up and down. Looking at the dim shadowed wall, he saw the several new posters. More rewards! If only I had the opportunity to merit the reward. But there doesn't seem to be anything left to me. Picking up the newspaper again, he sat down and gazed into space. Suddenly the door was thrown open and by the dim light a rain-drenched figure of a man was seen. A ' Jevais hastily set down his paper and came forward, eyeing the stranger closely. One would hardly expect anyone to be out on such a night. A I want a room, Monsieur. Can you accommodate me, at least, for to-night? I'm tired and also hungry. Jevais surveyed the man fixedly, with a practiced eye. Tired he certainly appeared to be. The stranger must have construed the gaze as one of suspicion. I have plenty of money, don't fear. See! Taking a worn-out wallet from his inner pocket, he showed some of the contents to him. Instantly, the innkeeper's attitude changed. Here, at last, were the prospects of a good fee. Such luck was quite rare these days. There was only one other guest stopping at the inn and there were plenty of bills to be met soon. Ah, Monsieur! How lucky you are to have found such a cozy place, for here all is so pleasant and comfortable. Would Monsieur like 'a nice hot supper and glass of wine before Retiring? Anything to make one comfortable, muttered Jevais as he helped his guest with is coat. Yes, prepare me anything, replied the stranger as he drew to the fire and put out his numb fingers to the welcome fire. . Making himself comfortable, he leaned back to await Jevais's return. Nonchalantly, he glanced around the room and noticed the shabbiness and crudeness of the inn. In one corner was a small bar where the town people .probably assembled to discuss the day's happenings. There were a few chairs and tables whfich did not help to take away the feeling of emptiness in the room. Theihuge fireplace stood on a side with a long low bench surrounding it. The walls were barren except for a few old Fpictures and several white posters that were not dis- cernible to the stranger. Jevais soon entered with the guests supper and set it on one of the tables. Motioning to the stranger to draw up, he left the room and reappeared with a few bottles of wine. Pouring out a glass of it for both, he took a 'chair opposite him. Unmindful of his host's presence, the stranger ate ravenously and gulped down his glass of red wine. When he was quite thru, the innkeeper ventured to remark about the weather. Yes, nasty weather. Just my luck to have my carriage break down some distance from here. One can't realize how fortunate he is to have a home of his own until he is caught in such a storm. 'tMighty lucky, Monsieur, that you are not one of those unfortunates traveling around without finding any destination, answered Jevais as he refilled both their glasses. But think of those poor outcasts who are forced 'to roam without daring to find lodging. They are to be pitied also, answered the newcomer with a strange expression on his face. Such persons are deserving of that punishment. Refusing to pay their debt to society, they deserve all they get, angrily snapped back Jevais. That is not so in all cases, replied the stranger, Some are driven from home by un- just and unfair means and thus are not given a chance to prove their innocence. Out in this raging blizzard, there is one who has been unfairly tried. Unable to prove his innocence and Y Page Forty-one ia gn aieitiivi rrsfra having a chance to Hee he escaped. He was accused of killing his rich benefactress and stealing her money. Is it fair that he should be traversing the country with a clear conscience and yet have the police at his heels? Is he deserving of the worst? After this sudden outburst, the stranger went to the window and started out with a distant look in his eyes. One could see that he had been upset by the conversation that had just taken place. Jevais remained in his seat and seemed to be thinkingover what had just been said. At length, the stranger gathered up his coat and hat and asked to be conducted to his room. Jevais silently led him up a narrow twisting stairway and opened a door at the top of it. On entering the room, Jevais set the oil lamp on the table near the bed and turned to go to the door, wishing his guest a good night's sleep. The same be with you, my good friend, answered the stranger. HWith such a noble heart, I am sure greater prosperity will come your way soon. The proprietor muttered an insignificant reply and started to go down the' stairs, but there was a strange note in his voice, and in his eyes was a strange light. II Complete darkness enveloped the little wine shop, making its emptiness more desolate than ever. The old clock on the stairs chimed once. The beating of rain and the howling of the wind could still be dismally heard outside. By the dying embers of the fire an old cat. could be seen resting contentedly. The silence of the house was suddenly broken by the creaking of a door. By the dim candle carried in his hand, was seen Jevais. Surreptitiously, he walked across the floor to the stairs. There, he paused and listened. Not a sound from above! Going upstairs, he stopped before the room that sheltered his second guest. Cautiously, he inserted the key in the lock and stealthily proceeded to open the door. His astonishment was great at seeing that the oil lamp at the bedside still flickered its dim light over the room. Backing himself against the wall, he waited for a sign from the figure on the bed. None came and he knew that the sleeper had not heard. Tip-toeing to the bedside he stopped. Furtively, he looked for what he had come to get: the wallet. He noticed an edge of it protruding from under the pillow. He put out his hand to reach it when his eyes were drawn to the man's hand, as it lay outstretched on the bed. By the dim light he saw that he was clutching a miniature of a sweet-faced old woman. Somehow he could not draw his gaze from that appealing old face. The smile on her lips . . . perhaps it was his mother waiting for him, praying that no harm would befall him, perhaps he was returning, bringing with him the means to comfort her, that which he had earned. A feeling of revulsion swept over him. Why was he in this room anyway? Merely to steal a few gold coins.. Of course he needed the money, but should he take it at the cost of their happiness? I The realization of what he was doing brought him to the state of repentance. He with- drew with bowed head, closed the door and raised his thoughts in prayer. He thanked his God for giving him the strength to resist temptation. Going into his room he sank heavily upon his bed and slept the sleep of the just. Dawn broke. The tempest of the evening before had given way to a clear, cool sky. The sun cast its beaming smile over the little wine-shop in P-Life's daily routine there had again taken on its usual form and all was, abustle. Jevais could be seen looking after the comfort of his first departing guest. He had decided not to call the stranger-of the evening before yet for breakfast because he was so tired when he ha.d gone to bed. Receiving his fee, he hurried to add it to his little horde. To his surprise and bewilderment, he saw a miniature of an old lady in place of his life's savings. The hovering smile about her lips suddenly made him realize what had befallen him, he had been robbed by the stranger. Rushing from his room, he tore up the stairs to the strangerls abode, What he had sus-- pected was true-the stranger had fled. Distracted, his thoughts in a turmoil, he fairly stumbled down the stairs and sat down in a corner, unable to bear such a heavy mental burden. His florid face had turned an ashy white. As he reached out to take a bottle, his roving eyes were attracted by a white poster that had been posted on the wall the day before. There, by the rays of the morning sun, was clearly discernible that which had escaped his notice-its message. Page Forty- t wo Iiiaas ll 4lHlHlNI HS'll 4 Wanted for Jllurder and Robbery 10,000 Francs Reward 1 And the picture of the stranger of the evening before stared him in the fade withfi seemingly beckoning look. Heavily raising himself to his feet, he went closer to inspect it more. There he read the tale told the night before. The stranger was none other than the murderer of his benefactress and the thief of her savings. He had managed to escape from justice and nothing could be known of his whereabouts. So this was the greater prosperity that the stranger had wished him the night before. All his life's savings were goneg he could have been rich if he had not been swayed by those few sentimental momentsg he could have gained such a huge reward if only he had paid more attention as the man had told him to when he had posted the paper. ,N Poor Miserable Fool .... A ' -PALMmx MAn1'1GNoNi: Jlly Choice of Cars A , I like to ride in flivers Once I tried to drive a Nash, 'Cause every time I do, Full eighty did I fly, I get such funny shivers And that is how I. got this gash From my head down to my shoe. Wvhell I 11 girl did SPY- The cop down on the corner Cares not what kind I likeg He told me to play Jack Horner I hate to ride in Paiges, They ride just like a truckg They remind me much of stages And learn to ride a bike And then I am stage-struck. ' You can have your foreign car Packards are my keen delight, With its long high-toned name, I know you will not blame meg But give me just a little Ford- They represent the rich man's might, It gets there all the Same. But I like them just the same-e. -ROBERT ROULSTUN The Dance Out in the woods I forgot to say they're elves Thereajs a quaint knoll Whom I go to see in dance Where I see them in hoods In these shady little delves ' After the night bells toll. Where I get my treasured glance. They scamper and run Under the silvery moong And I watch till they're done With their queer little tune. -ELEANOR EMPTAGE Page Forty-three Death IiiiTi'5'f95 iw In 4lHllUNl lIST4 West New York Day by Day CWith apologies to O. O. Mclntyrej THOUGHTS WHILE STROLLING:-See those very collegiate-looking clerks that drape the doorway of a certain haberdashery shop. With their pipes dangling from their lips they look quite like Dunhill advertisements:-John Sarkisian, West New York High athlete, is quite stunning, truly, the answer to any maiden's prayer.-Sixteenth Street dz B'line Ave- nue, seem to be the nucleus of our town life, especially, since the group of sophisticates on the corner have assumed that blase air so typical of the West New Yorker.- Along come a group of high school 'rah-rah' boys, Itls been said that they're interested in aviation. Why not? Aren't they naturally Highty?-Louis Wardi, in his Kollegiate Kut Klothes, could well serve as an advertisement for advance styles of what the well-dressed young man will wearl-Lenny Burns, that popular young athletic coach at W. N. Y., has been seen riding around with the most beautiful dog in his car.- At last we have come into our own! Even a tennis team to boast of, not to speak of our track activities.-That certainly is a stunning roadster that comes to call for Sylvia every day.-Wonder if Seniors lord over Freshmen from any special desire to act superior or is it only natural instinct? The crowd in the lobby of the Capital is quite distinctive. Very rarely are so many people, who have the same joyous temperaments, gathered in one place. This is undeniably true on a day when there has been only a half session in the schools. On other days, there are always a few from the Y Not Kut Klass Klub attending the performance.-And so let us go in to see the show. -A. JACOBS I see your whiteness gleaming Through the purple dusk Of my life. Lead me to that Land Of sombre mists and shadows Of Eternity. You have haunted me From the pearly dawn of Youth, To the opalescent shadows Of old Age. You hold your leprous Hnger On the flower-like pulse of a babe, And cover its shining head With vaporous breath. You are ever near-never for quiet, But would dig my soul From the shining gray of peace, From the silver oblivion. Despoiler! You have torn from my neck My Rosary and let dribble, Through your palsied hand, My pearls of Life. My Rosary of Life lies scattered Gleaming pearls on dull, brown earth, And you, you lead me on relentlessly With only their memory around my neck. -DoRo'rHEA MADDIEN Monotony The tide came in and the tide went outg The rivers rose and the rivers subsided, As time passed on and ong It grew light and it grew dark, The sun came up and the sun went down As time passed on and ong For time and tide wait for no man. Page Forty-four The milkman came and the milkman went, As did the paperman come and go, As time passed on and on 5 We went to work and we came home from work The World grew astir and the world grew calm, As time passed on and ong For the day's pay waits for no man. -DoUGLAs BREWER lu kumar ? new A n Amateur Liar Archibald Horatio 'fCreampuff Thompson and George Ananias Speakent had been talking about all available subjects, when George came out with something that made both men laugh. Then ensued a silence which was broken by George, but this time he said some- thing of a more serious nature. Say Archie, it seems to me you look kind of worried. h Archie replied to this after a few moments, saying, George, we been pretty good friends for the last half a year, ain't we? ' . Sure, I guess so, replied that gentleman. Viiffell, George, continued Archie falteringly, I got something on my mind that's gotta come o . . Yahl ejaculated .George with a good deal of surprise. Out with it, Ilm all ears. A full minute passed before Archie spoke and then he said, I might as well begin at the beginning and tell you everything. It was born in 'Frisco and the parents stuck 'Archi- bald' and 'Horatio' in front of 'Thompson' and then they let me grow. Well, I was growing to be ,pretty big, but I also was growing fat, and one day some kid 'called'me 'Creampuff' and that name stuck. It seems I never got over that 'handle' and here I am with a brain that's about as developed as the muscles in my whiskers. Well, when I growed to be a man, mom and pop shipped me off to Chicago, but I only got as far as this burg of Denver. Well, anyway, I got married and-and that's Where I finished myself. It developed that my wife was a member of a gang, and I became a member also. Did I want to get in? Ask me another. Anyway, I--I turned crooked, but pretty soon the gang got busted, my wife died and I was alone again. The crookedness in me stuck-and however, pretty soon I was a full- Hedged criminal, as they call us. Well, about half a year ago, I met you and I liked you off the start and pretty soon I was turning straight again. But, heck, last week, the old conscience and me had a. little argument to see if I'd help myself to some furs which was mighty handy. The conscience lost, and here I am, with the cops on my heels. Ananais grunted and looked thoughtful. After a few moments he said, Well, I ain't no angel myself. To tell you the truth I got claims to the championship for liars. Back in St. Louis I was president of the Amateur Liar's Association and I had to beat it from that burg because they almost got me-for merjury, or something like that. Another silence ensued and here the two men must be compared. Archibald was over six feet tall and weighed around 200. t'Ananias was just over five feet and thin and wiry. Archie had as much backbone as a jellyfish and, as he said of himself, t'He had about enough brains tohfill a thimble. S Uinaniasf' however, to give him credit, was one of the ten shrewdest men in t e good old U. . . , Archibald was about to say something when from outside in the hall, the landlady's screechy voice called out, I tell you Mr. Thompson said he was not to be interrupted. A short argument followed outside and Archibald was about to open the door to get a look ,at the intruders when a manls voice suddenly said, Then, in the name of the law, let us pass. This was followed by heavy footsteps going up the creaking stairs. By this time, our friend Thompson had galvanized into action. I-Ie grabbed a large suitcase and made for the window. He was just getting out with Ananias ' help when a burly man, whose clothes fairly shouted, Detective, burst into the room and yelled, Stick 'em up! Archibald Horatio Creampuff Thompson tremblingly did raise his hands and when the detective said that he was under arrest, Archie nearly fainted. I think you better come along toof' he added, pointing to Ananias. You want to arrest me, when you saw that I was holding him back? demanded friend Speakent in well-assumed indignation. Pm sorry, but your presence looks suspicious, replied a newcomer, a detective who looked as if he owned the world. Well, my dear sir, let me tell you that that rascal you have in your hands, owes me money and I was trying to collect, was Ananias' retort. I said you'll come 'along and no back talk, replied a detective grufily. So we find Ananias and Creampuff sitting in a cell playing pinochle. Archie was looking rather downcast, and after a few moments of thoughtful pondering, he said in a meek, penitent voice, George, I'm some friend, ain't I? To this George replied reproachfully, Say, what are you bawlin' about. Ain't you got enough trust in me to leave this thing in my hands? And let me tell you, if I don't get us outhof this hole, my name ain't George Speakent and they nicknamed me 'Ananias' for no ing. Page Forty-five Il aisliurfi rsfra This closed the conversation for a while and both seemed to be interested in the cards only. However, some time later George startled Archie by exclaiming suddenly, 'tHoly Moses! Why didn't I think of that before! 1 Archie quickly recovered from his scare and asked excitedly, What? What's up? Can we maybe get out of here? . George gave Archie an indignant look and then said, 'fYou know, Archie, about a year ago, I had quite a, nice heap of money laid aside, but one day, fool that I was, I got drunk, and before I knew it some old crab comes up and says he wants to sell some valuable land chea . And me like a darn fool, I fell for it. Well, when I got sober, all of a sudden I P y h ht th 1' he ine me might be worthless Well I had a little money left, so a friend t oug .epape s g ' .. , says I should get the deed cleaned or something. I did and I found out that theii deed wais O. K., but-but that the land was located half on a swamp and half on some roc y groun Well, to get back to our fix here: if it comes to the worst, I'll sell that land to another sucker, and we can maybe get away with a line. You're like an angel from heaven and if you don't get us out of here, my name is mud, was Archiba1d's sudden response to George's speech. f'And another thing, continued 'Ananiasf if I lay my hands on the fellow what sold me that land, helll be sorry he ever done it, and that's straight from the shoulder. The day of their trial came and George was reading a paper when he suddenly ex- claimed, HYou big dumb bolony, you hadda steal S505 worth of them furs and now we're up for grand larceny. Why didn't you leave at least one of the furs behind and make it less than 3500, and only petty larceny? It was too late for that, however, and in the afternoon they were brought to court for their trial. As they entered the court room which was almost empty, George gave Archie a hard nudge that knocked that worthy's wind out, and whispered Archie, whols the oily guy talking to the judge? Archie answered, That's the guy I robbed. Yeh! exclaimed George. Well, hels also the guy what sold me the swamps, and oh boy, this trial is gonna be short and sweet, with us gettin' the clean end of the decision. Come on, brace up and look brave, and whatever they ask you, just say you're innocent and leave the rest to me. The trial started in due time, oaths were taken, the furrier gave his charges, and Archi- bald Horatio Thompson was called to the stand. To all questions, he answered that he was innocent, until the judge asked, Then give a reason for the presence of the furs in your room. This puzzled Mr. Thompson noticeably and he refused to reply. Twenty-five dollars for contempt of court and fifteen minutes to think it over, or I'll raise the fine, was the terse decision of the judge. Will Mr. George Speakent please step up, taking the stand as a witness? continued the judge. With pleasure, your honor, answered 'tAnanias smilingly. He stepped towards his chair when with a hearty ahem as he passed the furrier, he Whispered, 'fHow's the real estate business? The furrier looked amazed at Hrst and when he took a good look at George he turned pale and swallowed hard. The furrier looked down to the ground and noticed a piece of paper on the floor. I-Ie knew what it was and at a pretence of tying a shoelace he picked it up. Opening the note, for such it was, he read, Remember the swamps you sold me? Maybe we could call it square. CSignedD George Speakent. The furrier thought it over. Speakent might be desperate. Perhaps it would be better to compromise. He would! Before he could say anything, however, George started to speak. 'tEr, ah,--well, Mr. Thompson who is a good friend of mine, is very nervous and the shock of being in jail left him rather speechless as you noticed a few minutes ago. He told me just what had happened on the night of the robbery and I will now tell you as well as I remember, the details of the story that Archie, I mean Mr. Thompson told me. Well, Mr. Thompson was downtown that night and as he passed this Mr. Goldberg's fur shop he saw a strange man rummaglng behind the counter. He immediately rushed into the store and as he strained his eyes to become accustomed to the gloom of the dingy place, he was' suddenly walloped squarely on the jawnby the tall, thin intruder who now rushed past him into a wait- ing tain, hut Mr. Thompson is an athlete that knows his athletical onions, so the pat on the jaw didnt bother him. He turned around and made for the door only to find that it was locked by the thief. However. undaunted by this, he climbed over the door through a transom and so got into the street. The taxi was already a block or more away, but Mr. Thompson, Page F arty-Mx ln gsjar-1 seeing a bicycle standing in the road, hopped on it and gave chase. He had ridden once in a six-day bike race, so he knew how to work one of them things pretty good. So Mr. Thomp- son pedalled as quietly and swiftly as he knew how and thus kept the taxi in sight while he was warming up. The taxi, although traveling as fast as it could go, was slowly losing its lead and before long Archie, I mean Mr. Thompson, was a scant 5 yards behind. However, Mr. Thompson could not possibly stop the fleeing thief single-handed, for he knew that the criminal was armed, so he began to rack his brain for some solution of the problem. Fortune played into his hands for he suddenly thought of the college graduation pin reposing on his coat lapel. He removed it and fixed it so that the pin point was straight up. Thus prepared he went into a Hnal burst of speed that brought him just behind the taxi. Then with a well- directed throw and with all his giant strength behind it he cast the pin at the taxi's tire. The pin struck home and with a resounding explosion the tire burst and went flat. Now, no taxi- driver cares to be shot at by a pursuing policeman, so as the driver imagined a horde of cops pursuing him, he stopped the cab and told the passenger to get out and shift for himself. The thief dig sto, leaving thhe fiflrs fhe had stolen, behind. Mr. Thompson, satisfied. with 'having retrieve t e urs, et t e t ie escape. To his surprise, Mr. Thompson now found that he was but a block away from his home so he took the furs there with the idea that he would return them in the morning. Before morning, however, Mr. Thompson realized that if the furs were found on him he would be taken as the thief. In this manner, a week passed. One night I visited him and he confessed to me what a hole he had gotten himself? into. I was just advising him to return the furs and own up to everything when the police came and the rest of the story you know. Now Mr. Goldberg, with a clear view ofthe particulars of the happening I am sure you will remove your charge against Mr. Thompson and I would also like to claim for him the S50 reward you offered for the recovery of your furs. Er, ah, yes, I admit I made a mistake and I now personally remove all charges, reluctantly spike up Mr. Golldlgarg, for he knew as well as George and Archie, that the ormers speec was one, gran . Court was dismissed and Archie and George made their way out of the court. Once out and in a place where they could converse in private, Archibald said, And they called you an tAmateur Liar'g that makes me laugh. ' -J K OHN ovac A rtificial Flowers My mother has some flowers Whose like I have never seeng I sat and looked at them for hours, Why were they green? One day the mystery I uncoveredg The flowers were so very green Because, as I then discovered, They were made of crepe-de-chine. -LAWRENCE WYAGNER Transubstcmtiati0n I sit With my back to a tree. I gaze Intently about me. ' I am sprung from the race Of Trees. Their heritage of greatness They have given me. The wood- My Bodyg The sap- My blood within, I am sprung from the race of trees. -ANTHONY TnUNcm.Lrro Page Forty-seven IU ariitmi ttswra Shell Shock BILL DAWSON, World War veteran, had arrived in New York penniless. He was too active and ambitious a fellow to remain in such circumstances long and soon by dint of arduous effort became a regular reporter on the staff of the New York Globe 'tBill in his spare time devoted himself to improving his style of writing by working out stories of human interest for the Sunday magazine section. In his readings he was almost entirely given to the morbid Poe, the mysterious Stevenson and the descriptive Dlckens. The study of murder and mystery fascinated him. 'fBill had been up against real murder, he had seen men blown to atoms, he had seen men cut to ribbons, he had had buddies die in his arms 5 he himself had been shell-shocked and gassed in the war and had only recently, previous to his arrival in the metropolis, been discharged from an army hospital as being cured of shell shock. Bill's cleverness, his analyzing acumen and all around ability attracted the attention of those higher up and soon gained for him the coveted post of covering all murder cases. One balmy autumn evening as the sun was casting its last rays over the barren Palisades, Bill, fagged out by a hectic week of reporting on the Smith murder, was wearily trudging along Rector Street toward the L when he felt a sharp shooting pain in his head. That's the first time I've felt that since I left the hospital, I had better lgo into a drug store and get some headache powders. So he muttered to himself as he entered the store at the corner. The powders bought, he wandered out of the store and was swallowed up in the seething mass. Hardly any attention was paid him. Those who saw him said to themselves, t'Just another derelict g it's a pity they donlt do something for these poor fellows. In the meantime 'the pain in Bill's head had increased, he was dazed. He stopped in front of a sporting shop. The manager of the shop, an acquaintance, was standing outside the store getting a breath of fresh air when Bill approached. Sensing something wrong with Bill, he good-naturedly took him by the arm and led him into the store. There was no one else in the store at the time, so the manager devoted himself to making Bill feel comfortable. Here's a glass of water, old fellow, you seem all played out. Why don't you rest up? Take a vacation, go on a hunting trip down in Jersey. Big season on. Lots of game. Hunt- ing is a good bracer for a fellow like you who is sick of this city's nerve-wracking monotony. Look at this fine rifle. Isn't it a 'beaut'? Bill was too dazed to comprehend the talk of the manager. His frayed nerves were trembling, his pulse throbbed violently, his heart thumped alarmingly, his head was in a whirl, he was all aquiver. He took the rifle from the manager, stared at it absent-mindedly while the managers continued, UA big fellow like you ought to be out enjoying life in the open instead of plodding in this filthy hole. You're going to pieces, old man. Brace up. If you stay in this city any longer you'll soon be as dead as old tSmith' who was murdered last week. ' Bill's shattered nerves snapped, whatever remaining self control he had, left him. The crash of glass as he let the rifle fall through a show case drove him mad. 'tDead, ehg murder, eh g I'll show you, cried Bill as he picked up the gun and crashed the stock of the riHe on the head of the unfortunate manager, who had no time to resist. With a stifled prayer the manager sank unconscious to the floor. Bill somehow or other managed togget to the subway. Mechanically and instinctively he found his way home, up a flight of stairs and to bed where a nervous sleep separated his exhausted self from the cruel cares of the world. About three olclock in the morning, the constant ringing of the telephone awakened him. Bill woke up with a piercing headache but managed to find his way down a staircase to the phone. He tried hard to collect his wits. t'Hello, this is Dawson. Hello, Bill. This is Scott. We Want you to write a headline story for the noon edition on the Clarke murder. HThe Clarke murder? t'Yes, the Clarke murder, why, didn't you hear about it? Last evening a sporting shop manager was clubbed to death down Rector Street. Big mystery. No clues found. N o motives assigned or known. Manager good fellow. No known enemies. Chance for a big spread, this mystery stuff. Write a special on it, play the mystery up big as usual. We need it to fill up space when the hubbub over the Smith case dies out. I'll send 'Mike' up with the facts. So long. 4: az fr Pk 4: 4: Page Forty-eight H225 Wa Ill 4lHllLlNl HS7I'4 ' The case continued in the public interest for a week with big feature columns concerning it in the 'fGlobe. Bill Dawson's personal column on the murder attracted attention and served as a topic of conversation and discussion for mystery-loving New York. Bill's murder style was at its bestg he assigned many motives for the deed-besides he bitterly attacked and deplored the police, raking them over the coals because of their inability to find clues. - All of Bill's sensational column was issued from his bed-room where he was confinedufor a week with an attack of some mysterious ailment. Bill was not long recovering and with an added admonition not to overwork and to drop the Clarke case entirely, he was allowed by his doctor to resume light work. Like a bird freed from its cage, Bill, once out, disregarded doctor's orders and rushed down to the office of the Globe where he was warmly greeted. Fine work for a sick man, Bill, said the copy readers. f'Excellent, old top, you'll probably get my job when I transfer to the fTimes' next month, encouraged the city editor. Bill smiled gratefully and joked about his stories of a place he had never' visited. I am going down to the store and get some local color to keep the story alive. I really don't know as much about the case as someiof the people who eagerly devour my articles daily. I hardly feel honest to impose upon them so, he laughingly added. Bill went to the sport store and was warmly greeted by the new manager. Hello friend, another newspaper reporter, eh! Every time I look up some reporter strolls in on me. Strange I haven't seen you here before. Maybe I can supply you with something new. Cleaning up yesterday I happened to find this package of headache powders behind the radiator over there by the door. That might indicate that poor Clarke wasn't feeling well at the time. Strange that the police hadn't found it before. It was in a rather queer place. Perhaps it fell there. I don't suppose it means anything, anyway. , Let me have the package, said Bill, it has the label of the drug store down the street on it. I'll take it down and find out if Clarke bought it there. ' At the drug store the clerk -smiled a greeting, Why hello Mister, it's some time since you were in here last. Maybe those powders I sold you last week didn't quite agree with you. Why. there you have them in your handl Bringing them back to exchange? These? Did you sell me these? 'tSurely. Last week, remember? See the red cord around them. That's how I happened to remember. We were out of white cord at the time. Do you want to exchange'them? , Oh, no! I must have had them in my pocket all week long. I just felt them in there as I was walking down the street and took them out to see what they were. Let me have a box of cough drops, please. , . Bill took the cough drops and went out into the street. He was flushed, he was terrified. He walked toward the sport store. He stopped before its window-he saw the miles' :maxim ' Extra, Extra, Globe, All about the Clarke murder. So shouted the newsboys as they waved their papers before the startled eyes of the people. Broadway teemed with excitement as it scanned the 'tGl0be headlines. CLARKE MURDERER FOUND DEAD NGREAT MYSTERY SOLVEDH by BILL DAWSON. V In the column was the tale of the ex-soldier who had been shell shocked: how he had gne the deed, how he had never known that he had done itg how his name was Bill awson. After the account of the murder ran a subscript by the editor: The above was sent to this paper by the author of the article and the crime. He suddenly realized that he was pursuing himself as a criminal. He wrote his last murder story and shot himself in his apartment after he had sent this confession to press. -Lorru: SPRANZ Page Forty-nine sr Il QHHIM HST4 On Failing in the Classroom WHO hasn't failed in the classroom? Whether in English, History, Chemistry or any other subject, the feeling is always the same. Isn't it a peculiar sensation, a profound thrill? We've all felt it and some more often than others. But no matter how often, you get the identical little twinge. It doesn't make any difference whether you came unpre- pared or whether you thought you knew it. It counts all the same and the same old mark or check goes down into the book. To the one who has studied his lesson this state of consciousness is more pronounced For example. you are in one of your classrooms. Some teachers start from one end and proceed up and down the aisles. Fortunately, you have one of those instructors. The first student is called upon. Oh, that was easy. You wish the teacher would give you one like that. Then, there's a discussion and you notice the time's flying and you smile to yourself. Maybe you won't' be called upon today. But no, teachers are not imbeciles. They rfote the time also. The recitation begins again. Gee, that wasa hard one. He fails it and the next one also. Gosh, it's coming your way and you get excited. You wrack your brain. Who was Vice-President under McKinley? Oh, we had that yesterday. Who was he? . The teacher, like a gigantic howitzer, is hurling shells, one after another. One more falls beneath its accurate aim. Oh. who was that old Vice-President anyway? Another Indian bites the dust and the stern-looking cannon at the front of the room is getting angry. It's beginning to keep score of its hits now. After each shot and strike a little round zero is inserted in a nice -tabulated form. Well, you have to work fast now. Maybe you can look the teacher in the eye and bluff him out of it. He has often skipped off his course and called on someone else. No, that won't do. Somebody else just ,tried it and it didn't work. Whewl You're sweating now, and you gaze around stupidly for help. You lean upon your elbow and look to the girl on your left. She whispers f'Blaine . But no, you know right well that it couldn't be he. You shake your head and wait for the bullet which you know will hit its mark with full force. The cannon roars again and hits directly in front of you. Another mark in the book. It won't be long now. You resolve to bluff it as best you can. The gun is aimed. You are asked, Who was he, James? You think hard, frown a bit, and squint your left eye. Then you snap your fingers and make it look as though it were right on your tongue's tip. No, it doesn't work. The hand moves to fire. You shrink back in terror and give one last appeal- ing look at your fellow sufferers. The spark is touched-and bang! It's all over. Another figure goes down, not to be erased. Then you think hard. Wonder what that'll give you on your next report card. Gee, that was easy.. We only talked about it yesterday. Wonder what the teacher thinks. You always give him 'good papers andeverything. Always -did have bad luck in class. Gosh, why didn't you get a break once in a while? Other fellows get them. Oh,' well, that was only once this month. You'll get another chance soon. At last the cannon missed. A girl in the back seat answered it. She always did have luck. Why couldn't the teacher have called upon you when you knew it? She stands well with the teacher anyhow. Bet she gets a good mark this month. All of a sudden a thought strikes you, unusual as it may seem. Suppose the class has to stay in after school! You promised to play tennis with whosis . Maybe the instructor will be kind-hearted and let it pass. Every class has its bad days. Then you think- Ah, there's the bell. What a relief l You won't be called upon again today--that's certain. No, you don't have to stay in, but wait-more homework for punishment. Well, that is hard luck. But anyway you rise and heave a long, grateful sigh and step across the threshold. You are free, free once again until another day. V -SHELDON Davis Page Fifty W all aiaitw rswra . . , W aztm 4fWELI,, Miss 'Randa, I jest about am finished with my peas. I think I'll go over now. Lawsy knows, I've plenty to do. Hanna Spencer straightened her tall, angular frame and looked at Miss Miranda, who was comfortably rocking. She spoke again as the gray-clad Miss 'Randa only smiled. Those lilacs sure smell beautifulg they've never been so scented and heavy-blossomed as they are now. But this ain't cooking my peas, Iyll send you over a dish when they're done. Our peas certainly can't be beat. So, still muttering to herself, Hanna swung down the little shelled walk, bordered by flaming peonies, and down the street. But Miss Miranda sat like a stone image, her hands tightly grasped to the arms of the rocker. Through her mind thoughts Huttered like wounded birds: lilacs-spring, forty years ago, the scented dusk of June. 'Randy, young and radiant, waiting for John. But she wrenched herself from these torturing thoughts. She must not think. Why it was forty years ago-wasn't it time for forgetting? 'Randa allowed her gaze to settle upon the peaceful street, lying like a silent virgin in the little sea-hamlet of Buryville, Maine. Little white houses, with blinds demurely drawn, clambering vines and green lawns, covered with riotus blossoms or the purple lilac. Lilacs, lilacs everywhere. 'Randa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The cheery if slightly cracked voice of Ben Hayes, the postrnan, roused her. Letter, Miss Miranda. A new beau? 'Randa patted her dress, her lips quivered nervously, struggling to keep back a sob of joy. A letter, you say, Ben? - . Right here. Then with a smile, he trudged down the walk muttering to himself, Still waitin'. f A V But to Miranda the world seemed to be going topsy-turvy. She held the letter toward the dying rays of the sun and woman-like tried to see through. Finally, with her wrinkled hands, she tore the letter open, and as she read, the oldvlook of hopelessness gathered on her face. The letter itself was brief, merely stating: June 29, 1928 ROGER AND BACON SHIPPING COMPANY NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK Miss Miranda Wolff Buryville, Maine ' My dear Miss Wolff z We are sorry to inform you that we cannot help you in your long- continued search for John Ewald. Mr. Ewald left Buryville, Maine. on June 29, 1888. His ship was found two months after, wrecked on the China coast. If we can aid you, we will let you know immediately. ' We are sorry, also, to state, that the ship Argosus, in which you had invested all your money was lost in a typhoon. We are sending out searching vessels immediately. We will wire you the results. Yours truly, -Li-:sms SPAIN LS! DM , 'Randa dragged herself up slowly from the chair. She couldn't sit in the front like this. Why, the odor of the lilacs stifled her. Her money probably lost. She, old and helpless. John's homecoming, a dear vague dream. She staggered into the hall, pushing back her hair from a forehead that was strangely wet. Sara, the old colored woman, dusting down the hall, came upon Miranda sitting on the lower step-a drawn, white Miranda, showing unmistakably her sixty years. Why, Miss Miranda, yo' po' deah, are yo' ill? Sara will get some water. In two minutes, old Sara was back with the water. As 'Randa drank, she chattered on, Yo' see, Miss 'Randy, my Page Fifty-one IH 4HillLlNl HSVlT4 little grand-daughter, Martha Jones, is ill in de hospital and I'se thought, only thought, only thought, mind you, if you could spare a few lilacs, why - But Miranda had Hed with her hands over her ears-stumbling, groping up the narrow stairs to the attic, holding her hand against her throat whose throbbing was painful. She could hear the booming of the surf in her ears 5 the smell of lilacs oppressed her. At last, after many a turn, she came to the attic. The cool dusk of the attic was like balm to her sensitive soul. Her fingers trembled as she lit a clandle? n Must be the heat, with them lilacs. Seems they never bloomed that Way since Jo n let. Murmuring softly to herself, she sank down before a cedar chest, and with fluttering hands unfolded a blue seaman's coat, its buttons tarnished and dark. It still smelled faintly of moth-balls. With her faded cheek pressed against it, she laid her head on the cedar chest. In the flickering candle-light she looked like a frail China doll, a gray blotch against the shimmering darkness of the antiquated walnut and mahogony. Suddenly, the-murmur of 'Randla's voice sktopcped ang ons heard only the winds wooing the lilacs, for ,Randy slept and as s e sept, s e reame a ream. , The dusk of a New England spring day, a white house, its porch covered with riotous lilac. A young girl, in a white frock with a blue sash, stood on the porch looking toward the south. Suddenly, she gave a little cry of joy and running swiftly down the path, hurled herself into the arms of a young giant. John, you're late. Why, mother's been calling for hours and Sara is complaining that her biscuits will taste like wet hen's feathers. I t'Sorry, darling, if I am late. Here the boy gazed down into the girl's face, i You see just got news. 'Randa stopped, Just got news. Her echo resounded faintly. She turned toward him with troubled eyes. Nothing serious, John?'l Her two small hands clung to his. Why, darling, I think it's good news if-but I'm not telling you now, no sirree, not 'till aifter supper. With a deep infectious laugh, he swung her high and marched into the 1n1ng room. Supper-the white, long table, steaming gravies and meats, and then there were the con- tented faces of mother and father. John's eyes gazed into 'Randa's across a huge bowl of lilacs and because 'Randa was a woman, she nearly sobbed her happiness aloud. After supper, 'Randa and John strolled out to the porch, and for a while sat quietly in the velvet darkness which seemed to caress them. In the distance, the silvery church- chimes started to ring, shivering the darkness into gleaming pieces. They heard the soft swish of the surf. Suddenly, John lifted Miranda's chin up and said, 'Randy, I must leave. My boat just received instructions. It means a year in the Orient, but L But 'Randy had sprung up, and stood like a quivering magnolia blossom in the velvety darkness. HLeaving-you're teasing, John. You know you are. John smiled broadly, 'A 'Randy, darlin', we could make that trip a honeymoon 1 Then all was quiet-a little later 'Randa's voice muffled, t'But John, I've always dreamed of a church wedding and a veil. You know, a long, whkitedveil. But then, why should I worry? Tomorrow, here her voice quivered, I'll be a ri e. h uA4flter the old folks had been told, 'Randa walked John down to the end of the little s e e pat . 'tTomorrow, darlin'. ' ' t'Yes, John, tomorrow. He fingered a lilac. 'ADO you know, 'Randy, you remind me of lilacs, so sweet, the scent of you just fills me. 'Till tomorrow. And the mocking echo, 'tT0morrow. g Sunday brought the news to the neighbors. Soon cakes, pies and choice delicacies were coming over. 'Randa, a radiant yet solemn 'Randa, packed trunks, kissed her mother a thousand times. The old dining-room was festooned with lilacs and green vines. At two o'clock, everyone was settledg the widow Moira with her red face and asthma was the last one to come. The minister was ready. Then came three o'clock and. four ofclock. Comment-rustling noises, lifted eye-brows, withering lilacs. At six o'clock, only silence.. All had gone. In the midst of all the withered glory Miranda stood, her wedding dress wilted. . In her hand she held a note, small yet enough to bring a vacant look to her eyes. She ralsed it and her eyes reflected the young tragedy of her soul. It was short: Page Fifty-two ' Q ir? lu ammi rsra . '4Dear Miranda : I've just been called away. Duty, Miranda. I must go. But, 'Randy, angel, please wait, wait for- ' John. The candle ilickered out, Miss Miranda still lay sleeping 3 not even the ring of the door- bell awoke her. Sara, wiping her hands on her apron, walked to the door, opened it and for a moment stood petrified. Then with tears streaming down her face she shouted, Mr, John, oh, Mr. John, Miss 'Randy's still waitin'. John Ewald, tall, gray, yet bronzed, still bearing the marks of his forty years of seaman's life, opened his mouth, But,,Sara, I thought 'Randa married Ben Hayes. Where is she? t'In-in-in the attic. Sara's condition was beyond words. The old colored woman was crying so, just out of the pure joy of seeing the constancy of Miss 'Randa rewarded at last. But while she prayed and wept, another scene took place in the attic. John had run up the stairs shouting, 'Randy, oh, my 'Randyf' He came upon Miranda, looking like a Dresden doll. He shook her gently, a little harder, then his face became incredulous. He kept murmuring, 'Randy, John's here. Let's take our happiness, 'Randy. Won't it be sweeter? You're waiting, aren't you, 'Randy? John sank to his knees, brokenly mumbling, 'Randy, I heard you married Ben Hayes, please 'Randy, I didn't know you were waiting. I mighta known you would. My 'Randy - and the old man's body shook with sobs. Then he stopped. Was it Miranda's voice he heard or perhaps it was the winds murmuring softly, oh, ever so softly to the lilacs--. You might have explained it any way, but as John walked to the window through the silvery darkness, he was sure that soft, sweet sound whispered, 'Tm still waitin', John. -Dono'rHsA MINDDIEN , Uldylls ofthe Kings Guinevere loved Lancelot, Who was an armored sheik, She often called him Lance for short, And let him stroke her cheek. Of course she loved her Lance a lot, Although her husband frowned, For she could not control her eyes When at the Table Round. Some people love the dewy dusk, Some love the morning bright, But Guinevere looked forward to The coming of the Knight. Now all the Uidles of the King Who idled through the day, Were wise as snakes and knew of course, That Lance was making hay. And so they dished the royal dirt And buzzed around a lot, V But Lance just shook his royal lance And stole the honey-pot. But later on, he roamed afield And stumbled on a jane, ' , Whose home address was Astolat, Whose name was fair Elaine. She fell for him, and it did seem That she would surely win, But he walked a mile to Camelot Where lived the lovely Guin. It sure was tough for poor Elaine, Her fate seemed very hard- But Guin was a queen with a royal flush, Elaine, a simple card. A -HERBERT IQAHN- Sweet Virginia I missed the painted tea sets, The doll-house and the toys That were Virginiafs treasures Before she dreamed of boys. Now pennants deck her mirror And scarcely leave a space Where she can see reflected Her pretty, smiling face. 4 She peeps thru ruffled curtains- A car honks in the street! And though I keep so silent. My poor heart skips a beat. Her childhood days are over, She's sixteen now, and so I know that sweet Virginia Is looking for a beau! -FRIEDA Hmmrs Page Fifty-three IU 4lHllUlWll IlSfll 4 Un Losing One's Freckles ALAS, how futile have been my attempts to abolish these unbecoming spots which the Lord has so mercilessly thrust upon me. With Stillman's Freckle Cream, Double- strength Othine, 'fEdna Wallace Hopper's Youth Creams'7 and about ten million other freckle removers, one would really think freckles would be one of the rarities.of the world. Why, with so many cheap and easy methods of beautifying oneself, surely, a trivial blemish, such as freckles, should never trouble any girl in this marvelous age of transformations. Perhaps some aggravating optimists would condemn my pitiful complaints and reprimand me for my discontent. But my philosophy runs in far different channels. I do not believe that one should be content with one's misfortunes because there are others far worse off. No, that may be wise, but I refuse to be influenced by any such age-old theories, no matter how sensible they are. But, as a result of this stubborn consistency, I am indeed a very disappointed and pitiable character. If there were not these gayly-colored advertisements of useless creams to mock at me from the pages of every magazine or paper I try to read, perhaps I would not think my plightvso miserable. But when such disillusioning phrases as, Hthe skin you love to touch and 'fthat school-girl complexion glare at me from their green and blue settings, I am constantly reminded that my school-girl complexion is not like Hrosy apples bobbing in a bowl of milk, but more like a ripe banana with brown spots on its skin. Once, I successfully removed my bothersome freckles with the aid of some chemical which I obtained at a great expense. COf course I did not consider expense when I received this priceless remedy.J After following instructions with the greatest care and piety for about a week, I finally went with a heart of lithesome gayety to a lawn party, at which I yearned to look my best. Assuring myself that now since my freckles were gone, I must look well, I sallied forth in the gayest and most sociable spirits, all set for a host of con- gratulations on very sudden good-looks. Of course, my egoism led me to attribute my successful attempt at freckle-removing to my cleverness and untiring efforts. Not for a moment did I imagine that anybody else could perform such a simple yet marvelous deed. But oh! how cruel was the blow to my uplifted spirits when the first person I encountered, said, 'tWhy, I couldn't imagine what made you look so changed. It doesn't become you at all. I always thought you looked well with your freckles. Really, if I were you I should never have done it. No, I didn't get hysterics, nor did I faint, but I bought myself a ticket to Atlantic City and proceeded to take a series of torturing sun-baths, as soon as I got there. I swore I'd get my freckles back if it were the last thing I'd do. It was do or die with me then. But alas, my desperate efforts brought me nothing but a very sorely sunburned face and I couldn't laugh, talk, eat or cry. , In a fierce rage I returned to the city, and decided to give up the attempt. But, strange to say, after a week of regular city life my nose and cheeks were covered with freckles! So you see, kind readers, that the famous skin you love to touch is not for me, but I find some consolation in the fact that there are many other girls who have freckles. so I am not alone in my misery. I The Web Across my path a spider spun A web as white as milk ' -FRIEDA HARRIS Story of Wood fWith apologies to Carl Sandburgj Of threads made of the moon's pale beams C1109 me d0WI1, O Ll1IHb91'II1HI1 r And finer far than Silk, Trim me and roll .me down the river And lest I mar the fragile thing, Place me 111 the mill, That was so Strangely fan-Y And cut me into strips of lumber. I stumbled from the traveled way And left it gleaming there. SHOP 11:6 idilwlly tg, Lullirbgfmafl But when an hour brought me back pi-32, mi fnonges glighcggh eau y T0 dead that Selfsdme Way, So that man may come and take me. With horror in my startled eyes I stared in pained dismay, Chop me down O Lumberman Regretting that I had not torn A thing of heantyy I Say The Web .aS.I .passed by, For men pass from the day FOX diffgeglglga ds 150115 I Saw But I for eternity remain. g er y. -FRIEDA HARRIS -ANTHONY TRUNCELLITO Page Fifty-four In aiaiicm rsfrl t The Nzght Flyer ERRY SMITH stepped from the train and asked the direction to Jackson Field, the land- ing field on the outskirts of Denver used by the United States Air Mail. His face was fair with scattered and barely noticeable freckles under his eyes. A few unruly locks' 'of curly, brown hair waved in the breeze from underneath the brim of his soft straw hat. A pair of broad, athletic shoulders and the well developed muscles of his arms filled out the- neat fitting blue suit which he wore. Three years' work in the bookkeeping department of a large New York bank had deprived Jerry of the healthy tan one would expect to find on a young man in mid-August. Jerry was a veteran of the World War. In the suitcase which he carried at his side, the Croix de Guerrc nestled in its blue plush case. He had received it for bravery in aerial combat. He was one of the most famous, gallant, and daring of the American aces who had served in the aviation division during the great struggle. The exploits and daring achieve- ments of Jerry Smith had been read by people the world over with feverish interest. He had caused the death of several of Germany's famous pilots. Unable to resist the temptation of being in some way connected with aviation, Jerry had given up his position in New York, and had come to Denver with the idea of getting employment in the United States Air Mail Service. An army officer and very intimate friend had supplied him with 'the necessary credentials. As Jerry stepped from the open touring car which had borne him from the station to the field, he observed with a practiced and experienced eye the broad, level expanse of the lfield with its rows of silver-gray monoplanes lined up in a business-like manner before their angars. A young aviator in a brown leather flying suit conducted him to the field commandants' headquarters. This official examined the new-comer's credentials in rough and brisk manner. f'The same Smith who served in the World War? he asked. Yes sir, replied Jerry. Well, just at present we are in need of an experienced pilot to take the night jump between Denver and Frisco. This is the most dangerous run in the whole system. The quick change in temperature during the hop over the Sierras does tricks with the motor. Many times a snow storm is in progress up in the mountains and visibility is very poor. The wind currents are so undependable in the mountain passes, that the only way to save a ship from certain disaster is to fly at a very high altitude. A I am sure, put in Jerry, that with a little time to study the conditions, I could pilot a plane to San Francisco in the face of these difficulties. Yes, I have no doubt of it, replied the officer. But these natural difficulties are not the only ones facing us. Three weeks ago one of our best pilots, Jack Reynolds, was killed on this night jump to Frisco. His plane was found wrecked on a prairie between Kelton and Sanders, Utah. Nearby we found the tracks of two other planes as they landed andrthen took off again. On examining the fusilage of Jack's wrecked plane, it was learned that all of the bags of mail which he had been carrying were gone. On another occasion, continued the officer, a pilot reported that when he neared Kelton, Utah, he found himself surrounded by two black planes. It was evident from their actions that they were trying to force him to the ground. With this information in hand, the department has come to the conclusion that there is a body of air mail bandits operating in the vicinity of Kelton, Utah, and preying on passing mail planes. I wrote to headquarters that the most feasible plan for eluding these crooks was to hire some World War ace, a man who has had experience fighting against odds, and who is not afraid to take a chance again. That is the primary reason why you are here. That's the reason that I was sent to Denver when I sought employment in the air mail service in New York, said Jerry. t'If everything is satisfactory, I would like to try my hand at the task. ' Good, responded the ofiicer, I was afraid that you would not accept when the circum- stances were made clear to you. Done much flying lately? No, Jerry answered, only a few times at a flying field on Long Island. You can have two weeks to make yourself familiar with things, said the other. Try out all of the planes and select the one that suits you. We will install a machine gun on the one you select. Page Fifty-five 240 4.5 . In aniiiwi usfra The two weeks were weeks of intense enjoyment for Jerry. The purring of the engines was like music to his ears. He had on the first day selected for himself a speedy, gray monoplane with the insignia of the United States Air Mail Service on its fusilage. Every day he went aloft and practiced various tactics. Bystanders pronounced his landings and take offs as perfect. In the cockpit perched a machine gun with which he practiced shooting at floating balloons sent up from the field. At last the glorious two weeks came to an end and Jerry was ready for the real task in hand. As he dressed in his leather flying suit, Jerry heard the mechanics warming up the motor. It was an ideal night for flying. It was very clear with only a slight breeze. The visibility was excellent. Only four bags of mail were put in the plane so that it would be light and easier to handle. After shaking hands with pilots and friends with whom he had become acquainted, Jerry climbed into the cockpit. A mechanic twisted the propellor and the plane began to move. Jerry 'ftaxied into position and opened the throttle. Down the field raced the plane and rose into the air with birdflike grace. Jerry flew high. In the distance, the lights of Denver were reliected in the sky. As he passed over the city, he tried to read the writing on some of the larger electric signs but was unable to do so. Jerry settled back in his seat and kept his eyes on the various instruments before him. At his present speed he would soon reach the beacon between the Colorado and Utah borders. Soon he saw it in the distance and veered his plane slightly south. It would not be long now before he was in the vicinity of Kelton. After passing over Kelton, Jerry became more alert. The desire to take his bearings from the beacon he had just passed caused him to look behind. About half a mile in his rear, two black planes were approaching at a terrific rate of speed. As they bore down on him, Jerry saw that they were monoplanes, and of the most modern and approved design. The two hostile planes took positions so that one was on each side of him, with the wing tips of the three planes almost touching. It soon became evident to the experienced Jerry, that at some unexpected moment one of the planes would quickly rise above him and then bear down on him from above him and then while the other stood by to aid. ' The expected happened. The plane on his right began to rise very quickly. As it did so Jerry trained his machine gun on the other and fired. To his surprise, he was answered by a spurt of fiame and the glass on his barometer was shattered. He 'had not been told thatithe enemy planes carried guns. H VVhen the plane :from above tried to drop on him, Jerry dropped until he was directly underneath the one which had been on his left, and the two black planes almost collided in their efforts to reach him. As- Jerry rose to the same level as his opponents, a well directed shot from his machine gun apparently hit one of the pursuing planes in a vital spot, because it swayed from side to side, burst into flames, and fell like a meteor to the ground' below. Undismayed, its companion continued the fight. Jerry felt a sharp, stinging sensation in his right shoulder. Warm blood trickled down his back from a wound whose seriousness would have to be determined later. Jerry decided to use a trick which'had proved very successful in the past. He suddenly dropped as if to land. The enemy plane fell into the trap and followed. At the opportune moment, Jerry pulled back the t'stick and climbed rapidly until he was above the remain- ing black plane. A banage of bullets from his machine gun, which his opponent was unable to answer, sent the plane the way of its fellow. - 'Jerry continued his way unmolested. The wound in his shoulder bothered him, however, and he felt very faint from loss of blood. It was only with great determination and will power that he brought his plane to a safe 'landing at San Francisco. His report to headquarters read: Arrived here O. K. Eluded bandits andhgot mail through on schedule. ' . It had been just another day for the United States Air Mail Service, during which its employees had risked their lives that the exacting public might have prompt and efficient delivery of their mail. ' ' , ' ' -LAWRENCE WAGNER Page Fifty-six H3555 In semi nar- The First Dance O those that have acquired that mysterious art and seemingly impossible feat of danc- ing, Kas it appears to those that are deprived of that diversionh this narrative will appeal, for it will recall to their memories that every memorable first dance with its anxieties and mis- giving. Many who have not yet reached that stage of social development may glimpse from this narrative that grim, gray, and grinning abyss that lies ahead of them before they can reach the heights of Helicon which is inhabited by Terpsichore and the muses. Thousands and millioiis all over the world have lost their way in this terrible valley and returned unsuc- cess u . At some time or other this mania will seize you in its clutches. It is either that your fiancee desires that youlearn to dance, or that, your friends already knowing how to dance, make you seem an outcast at a social affair, or else you desire to possess that hidden pride of being able to say, Surely, I can dance. All in all, due to these motives, you finally decide to take up dancing. You invite to your home some of your talented friends to impart to you the secret of this art. At the start, you and they are eager and ambitious, but it isn't long before you are discouraged and have wom out the patience of your friends. Nevertheless, you decide to persevere and, after a few weeks of constant practice, Cwhich were weeks of sport at your expenseh you are informed that you are now ready to sally forth into this strange realm. Presently, a dance rolls around, and if you are a student you hail the arrival of a class hop with enthusiasm. Dressed in your latest outfit, you issue forth with your friends. Con- fined in your breast is a doubtful heart. You voice your ambitions and how you are to execute them, to your friends, who, having gone through the same stage, smile inwardly. You seem to be at the height of your glory as your companions reassure you with undeserved compliments. You feela bit nervous but since you haven't yet reached the bridge, you try to appear nonchalant although a gnawing, doubtful sensation seems to fill your heart. At last you make your entrance upon the scene of gayety, smiling but skeptically. You journey to the cloak room where you greet a chance associate whom you are surprised to see at such a place. You check your coat, comb your hair, fix your tie, admire the shine on your shoes, and then perhaps, fglance at your well cleaned nails.J Hearing the strains of a popular song, you are filled with a false sense of power. As the dance has already begun, you decide to sit it out until the next dance. While you are seated, your eyes, as if guided by some unseen power, begin to watch the feet of the passing dancers. You espy your com- rades and follow their certain feet admiringly. The dance is over and all your friends drift back to you. You are asked why you weren't dancing. You reply casually, as if uncon- cerned, that the dance was practically over when you entered the hall. You and your friends then talk of the merits and demerits of their respective partners, care being taken to showyou several very good dancers. The crash of the drum is unison with the quieted tappings of the symbol and the soft velvet tones of the violin cut short the conversations and begin an exodus to the center of the floor. You feel timid and deserted. The ambitions, that you planned so carefully come tumbling down like a house of cards. All the good dancers that were designated to you have already been claimed by early partners. You decide to sit out this one dance as there aren't any choices left for you. Then you sit there as if spell-bound with your eyes fastened on the feet whirling by. The dance is now at an end and you are greeted with the same reception. You are ridiculed for your timidity. Consequently you are determined to dance the next dance. You prepare a little speech and with a heart weighted down with unnecessary worries, you approach one of the select dancers. The world suddenly seems to spin about you. Forgetting your speech prepared beforehand, you blurt out, 'May I have the next dance? I'm sorry it's taken, she replies and thereby lightens your heart to such a degree that you heave a sigh of relief. You go back to your seat and build marvelous castles in the air. You dream of the days when you will be a good dancer land begin to go to dances regularly and what sport will be yours. You are disturbed in your meditations by your pessimistic friends who with stinging sarcasm ask the reason for your not dancing. They inform you that all their time, disregarding their pains, have been for nought. You seem out of place and have a desire to go home which you quickly banish, because the idea of going home alone doesn't appeal to you. Quite naturally, you again sit out the next dance resolved to meet the satire of your friends rather than ask another girl for a dance. There seems to be two factions, one impelling you to try again the other warning you against it. Toward the cnd Page Fifty-seven :gg ' Hifi iiW ffgr 4 lu arrnmi rsfra g of the evening, the former, after a fierce struggle, barely conquers the latter. So again with a heavy heart you ask the girl in blue for a dance. She informs you that all are taken save the last and you may have that if you wish. You accept it with a beaming smile, and thank her in advance. You tell your friends of this, and they, somewhat surprised, congratulate you. You sit, and gaze, and meditate until at last your dance is now being played. You get up and make your way to the girl in blue. She greets you with a smile and you lead her to the main part of the floor where many couples are already dancing. Although you seem to be a little dazed, you, start off fairly well. As the dance progresses, you become excited for no reason at all unless it's the sight of so many people, or your first dance with a girl. It isn't long before you accidentally step on her toe. You pardon yourself for this mistake and you're pardoned, but this seems to make you nervous. Now more people are on the floor and youlre pushed from side to side like a ship tossed about by an angry sea. Your feet seem to be in the way for you are now constantly stepping on her tiny feet and thereby getting you out of step. Perhaps it's her fault for putting her feet where they don't belong, that is under your own. You begin to believe that, like the tenderfoot who always seems to pick a green horse, you have picked a green partner. These thoughts confuse you all the more and the perspira- tion begins toooze from your forehead like dew. The song is ended and you take out your handkerchief and mop your forehead. The only conversation between you, so far has been, 'fExcuse me, or, I beg your pardon, and the reply has most often been, f'That's all right, or no response at all. You then endeavor to start a conversation. . f'Quite warm tonight, isn't it? you ask. f'Yes, extremely so, is again the only response. . Do you go to dances often? 'fNot so often. - A What sort of woman is she, who responds only in monosyllablesg this was something stran el 'lghe music again begins and you are occupied with your struggle. Gumping into people and stepping on your partner's toes becomes a habit. Although you don't feel the pain, the idea seems to torture you. Your face becomes fiushed and you seem to be in a fiery place not unsimilar to Hades. You despise yourself for having gotten into such a predicament. Everybody seems to be watching you and the mistakes you are making. Your head begins to swim and you, wish that the dance was over. After what seems to be an eternity, the orchestra finally swings from the finale of a popular number to the mellow and much-awaited- for chorus of Home, Sweet Home, and you thank your lucky star that your misery is at last at an end. You assure your partner of how much you appreciated that last dance and she replies rather indifferently. You then breathe more freely and with your face all aglow with smiles, you go to your friends. You inform them how much you enjoyed the last dance and regret that you had not begun dancing sooner, and that, believe it or not, you will be delighted to go to the next dance. -Louis WARDI A Boyhood on the Hudson It was down by the river Hudson Where we used to go for a swim. There was-Bob Thatcher and Johnny Judson And Bill Jones-I shall never forget him. Quickly we ran to the barge's end When we shed our clothesin a jiffyg Into the water then to descend, For the last one in was a sissy. Johnny, could dive as fine as an ace, Bill was not quite so good. I, too, could dive pretty well in those days But Bob was the boy who could After the swimming and diving were over, High up the cliffs we climbed, Among the grasses and sweet-smelling clover, Reaching home as the curfew bells chimed. +HARRY Koaram' Page Fifty-eight ina 9 -fm. li ll 4IHllUNl lISVlT4 A 72, Adolescents Lament MANY times has it been brought to my ears by wild patriotic orators of the Bill Thompson type that all men are created equal. Now it is not my place as a hopeful essayist to begin to doubt that marvelous truth. I am merely here to state that it is incorrect, unde- niably and unchangeably wrong. Our illustrious forefathers, when coining that phrase, left out not only the lar e class of colored persons but also a larger group of people of all colors, races, and creeds-adolescents. How often has the young hopeful of the family trotted up to his parents with a great- scheme to do something only to be told he is too young and only a child. He may stand six foot, yet when people meet him they will stand and say, What a big boy. He may be sporting a newly developed mustache, yet people when stepping on his toes will say, 'fl-'ardon me, sonny. How pleasant it must be for them to know that people accept them as equals, not as inferiors. I claim the distinction of thus being accepted. On a Saturday morning particularly bright to everyone but myself, I set forth across land and sea by bus and ferry to Macy's. The night before I had achieved a wonderful failure in my efforts to show'my parents how a month at the C.M.T.C. would send me home a changed youth. My mother and father, always seizing unfair openings, immediately wanted to know what manner of change I would undergo, clinching the argument by repeating familiar and offensive phrases about my being too young and about my going next year. I realized that, as aman of the world, free to go anywhere at any time, I was a decided non-success. Part of Friday's night had been spent in the examination of a Macy's advertisement in a paper not acceptable to Mr. Eshleman. Herein was described a marvelous collection of aviation bric-a-brac consisting of planes and parts, guns, and even officers from a ship in neighboring waters. So Saturday saw me in front of the Mecca of bargain hunters, Macy's. I gently eased myself into the rabble at the door and was naturally dragged towards the basement stairs. Not wishing to go in that direction, I branched off at a revolting display of glaring solid-color shirts. A Hussar-like woman and a meek looking man making ueer motions engaged my attentions. With a fugitive gesture he would dart out his finger lice a fish after, bait, and point at the purple shirts. Then he would draw it in quickly and mutter, Fifteen . I gazed at him perplexedly. Somehow I conquered a poker-like urge to blurt out, Cover and raise you five. But I was brought back to earth with another, t'Fifteen, please. But now I knew. Wearing only a vest and coat on a wintry day, I had naturally been mistaken for a salesman. The poor creature wished to buy a size fifteen shirt or fifteen shirts. But standing on all the dignity of six foot and seventeen, I replied: t'The young lady over there will accommodate you, and I beckoned to said young lady. She came over and joy of joys, I was the recipient of a toothy but nevertheless dazzling smile. Of course I had been mistaken for a floorwalkerl Sometimes I like to think it was my personal charms that extracted that smile. As I wended my way by escalator to the fifth floor, I could not help pitying the meek man who was forced to buy a violet shirt. I knew that no sane man, physically fit, and capable of selling his vote would wear a lavender shirt unless ,under strong compulsion. I think I know the compulsion. A' , In the exposition, a young man was examining a piece of dubitable machinery labelled motor. With an engineering smile for so it seemed to mel he engaged me. Could you describe the build and workings of these revolving cylinders? 1 fled or flew. Either is correct. To people who think that these were only some queer mistakes, I will give more incidents. Three more times was I accosted in a like manner by people to whom, strangely, I had never been introduced. The first time, by a smart flapperish young person desiring to know the location of the sheet music department. Afterwards I discovered I had sentlherl to the sport section. The second, by a dignified old.man with a ch1ld's bow and arrow in his hand. He wanted me to find va target. The third time, I showed a nice old lady the down escalator. Now all this helped to lien the hours for me, and, when I was coming out of the store, the day did not seem to be the perfect failui'e I had predicted. For surely I cannot look so young or seem so inexperienced in worldly affairs after these incidents. These clearly showed me how wrong parents can be despite all that is said in their defense, how like a man I must appear in unprejudiced eyes. People unacquainted with my dominating personality would, of course, sneer and offer explanations that would appear insane to myself or any other intelligent person. The clothes, says one. 'tBut doesn't it take a man.. to wear them correctly? 'fThe height, remarks another, to whom I will reply, Isn't six foot a man's height? Well anyway I claim to have experienced the joy of knowing that I am accepted, and I can describe it only in the affirmative answer to Brigg's own words: Isn't it a gr-gr-a-a-nd and gl-or-or-i-ous feeling? -IVILLIAM BOESLING Page Fifty-nine In arrest JIST4 Making Magnesia - AS HOMEWORK takes up so little of my time, I am profitably f?D employed in a drug store after school hours. Among my too-numerous duties there is that of making citrate of magnesia. ' It always happens that when I am to make magnesia it is either on a night when I want to get out early or when I am alone, usually and unfortunately, both. Now, making citrate of magnesia is an art. One of the ingredients, magnesium carbonate, is about as light as feathers and a whole lot fluffier. Fifteen ounces of this is rather bulky and the same question always pops us: Shall I weigh it out in two times of seven and one- half ounces each or in three times, live ounces each? The former way seems a lot quicker but it is a lot more precarious as the magnesium carbonate always slides off the pan when it is heaped on. Nevertheless, I put seven and one-half ounces of weights on one side of the balance and proceed to heap the white stuff on the other side. I shovel and shovel and still the hungry balance lifts up its maw for more. Suddenly, the buzzer upstairs, which is connected with the store door, rings. I drop the scoop hurriedly, thus scattering the white mass over the sur- rounding landscape, including myself and rush upstairs. When I reach the store, whom do I see but the boss's little daughter entering. Leaving her to take care of the store and instructing her not to call me except when necessary, I go downstairs again to my task. Finally I have all the ingredients mixed and in the vat. Now I put the water in. Have you ever seen pictures of a volcano in action? Well, something similar occurs when the water is added. I like to watch the effervescent, bubbling mass, when I have time, but now all pleasure is quenched in the realization that already the first dance at the Prom has started. I am disturbed from my mournful thoughts by the sound of my name being called. I scramble upstairs, endangering life and limb in my haste, and am confronted by the little girl. What's the matter? I pant. Nothing, I just wanted to know how much is 215 of 903' With a snort of disgust I retire to my field of duty, angrier than ever. At last, after breaking several filter papers in my haste, I finish and depart with a certain aromatic air and atmosphere about me-that of magnesia. -PAUL Losxcx Telephone Manners THE telephone, although a g1'eat convenience and necessity to mankind, is the object of much abuse, both verbal and physical. To the husband it is invaluableg it is the only means by which this poor down-trodden creature can have the last word in discoursing with his wife. To the mistress of the house its usefulness is also incalculable. Formerly she spent many tedious hours collecting the weekly gossip, she now receives it daily-yes, even hourly. With all its benefits the telephone is the cause of many funrestrainable tempers, loss of sleep and patience, and the ruination of artistic surroundings. In this respect the radio holds an unquestionable advantage, it can be throttled at will. At two o'clock in the morning I am unfailingly awakened from my peaceful and upper- turbed slumber by the incessant ringing of this infernal contraption. Mumbling .darkly I arise and trundle gropingly into the hall, striking each piece of furniture with unerrmg accu- racy. Fiercely seizing my tormenter in my clutches, I bellow the greeting, Hello, in a most amiable manner. Wrong number, I screech as the scoundrel asks for a set of digits which I do not recall as having been assigned to me by the makers of this trouble instigator. So saying I hurl it to the floor and fumingly stamp and thump my way back to bed. D Ofttimes the mouth or ear piece functions imperfectly but it is a proven fact CI being an authorityl that the Bell System represents efficiency and reliability to the nth degree. -HERBERT STELLJES Page Sixty 'M lu air-HIUM HST4 The Strange Case ofthe Fairee Queenen THE Pacino was gently rolling in long smooth swells. The only thing in sight was a fast steamer, one of the most modern boats on the Pacific-Orient line. It truly looked like a painted ship upon a painted ocean. ' On board the ship all was excitement. The officers had discovered a black spot on the water, marring the clean prettiness of the scene. Passengers were speculating on the contents of the boat. Tired business men were betting with other tired business men on the story which the spot, now known as a lifeboat, would tell. Soon the boat'was overhauled and a sailor sent down to investigate. He immediately came up again, and surrounded by a mob of curious people, saluted to report: t'Boat deserted, sir. Only thing in it is this'book. The officer dismissed the sailor who went about to tie the boat to the stern. The book was the kind commonly used to keep a diary. Turning it over once or twice the captain, at the requests of the passengers, opened it and read thus: Sept 1. The Old Pacific was calm today. Had an eastern wind the whole day which is surely driving 'The Fairee Queene' ever northward. Wish we didn't have such a heavy cargo. Seems to be holding the ship back and keeping me from being on time for the college term. Funny thing happened today which I think can be mentioned here to fill up space. I was standing near the fo'c'sle talking with the first mate when I heard a series of thumps on the deck. Sounded as though some light object was landing on it but mate blamed it on the engine. He told me to bawl out the 'black gang' and ask them to locate the trouble. The chief oiler told me to go to the devil and that the engines weren't going. Sure enough I looked aloft and saw we had all sails drawing. Well, hear the 'old man' calling me to a pinochle game with him, the first mate, and chief engineer. Being second mate sure has its advantages, all right. , Sept 3. Breeze still holding. Made two hundred miles today on sails alone. Busy ' day cleaning the hold in preparation for landing in five days. If this wind dies, we'll have to rely on the 'junk heap' again. The captain's bawling his head off again for a game of cards. Poker tonight. 'tSept. 4. Got to bawl out the A. B.'s for monkeying with the sails. Had a- west wind last night and after fixing everything shipshape I went to bed. Couldn't sleep for a time but afterwards fell into a doze. Woke again on hearing the sails rustling and creaking. I went on deck and found that instead of sailing north on wind, we were running with it towards the west. I thought I was crazy or that the wind had changed but a look at the compass showed me that it was the sails that were rigged wrong. Called the old man, who swore prettily on seeing state of affairs. Said he'd have some A. B.'s hide for this. It put us out of course only one hundred miles. V Sept 5. Called up the A. B.'s and third mate today but all swore they had nothing to do with the sails. Captain ,looked mystified and First Mate suspicious. Don't knofw what to make of it. . Sept. 7. Something hanging over this ship. The same thing happened again last night. Put us an additional fifty miles off course. The captain took to drinking to quiet his nerves. Always thought he was a superstitious cuss. Have to relieve First Mate. We're practically running the damn ship now. Sept 8. God! Surely the ship's haunted. Again a queer thing happened to us. What- ever the thing or things are, their home is in the west. Everything is making us go in that direction. We had lashed the wheel for north sailing. We only lose about five miles for each hundred that way. But when I looked at the compass I saw we were drifting more to west than sailing north. Has me going all right. The captain has D. T.'s and is useless. Relieving mate now. Sept, 9. Nothing happened today. Things I dream of at night look silly in the morning. 'fSept. 11. Still nothing. Captain is almost better again. We examined compass today but found everything 0. K. Sept. 12. All hope dashed away again. The men are acting queer and threaten to mutiny after latest incident. God! I thought we were done with queer happenings, but they have started worse than ever. Today we found a queer infection among the cattle we were carrying for fresh meat. Couldn't diagnose it. But worse than that--one of them was half eaten! Further observation ,showed that the throats of some were pierced as though for sucking blood. Captain all shot to pieces. Page Sixty-one lu aisitm iisfra p 'tSept. 13. Calm sailing. We're all on edge waiting, waiting-for I know not what. VVeather sulky. Still going north on the engines. Seems like the lull preceding the storm. Sept. 14. A ain it is with us. Last night' while the First Mate and I were standing by the whee1,T chanced to look in the heavens and while my gaze was there I tried to make out several constellations I had learned in Astronomy. I made out the dippers and the north star. Suddenly the mate attracted my attention to a broken spoke in the wheel he was holding, While bending over, I looked at the compass. Judge my surprise when I discovered that the needle was not pointing at the north star but toward the west! We had been sailing two days into the west thinking it was the north. I ex- plained this to the mate who immediately tried to fix it. But to no avail. The sailors aredalready frightened and we cannot tell them for fear of mutiny. I know not what to 0. Sept, 16. Can it be that we are the entertainers of persons from another world? Can it be that Einstein was right about the fourth dimension? Surely We are visited by queer beings that cannot be seen. I have given myself up for lost. Sept 17. The strange Beings have invaded our water supply. Yesterday we ran out of water' and I sent two sailors down to bring casks on deck. The boatswain knocked the beads off. Immediately the surrounding air was filled with a stench, an odor sugges- tive of the grave, of dead things. A faint phosphoric wraith appeared over the barrel and immediately faded, The water remained phosphorescent for some time. We've thrown all the casks overboard. Captain getting worseg fear he'll lose his head. Crew openly mutinous. i V Sept. 18. It has come, the thing we feared. The sailors have mutinied and deserted the mate and me. And I haven't the heart to blame them. God! there goes the captain again. He is a hopeless maniac from drink and superstition. We have thrown the garden, the cause of it all, overboard. Not content with mammals the Beings have invaded the small vegetable garden planted by Cooky over the skylight. This is to prevent scurvy. Yesterday I found the sailors grouped around it and pushing my way through I discovered the plants. They were all infected with a white blotch similar to the one on the cattle. In between, a noxious weed, red throughout, was choking the plants. I threw them overboard the sailors being afraid to touch them. That night the first and I had the ship to ourselves. Sept. 20. As I write now the ship is covered with the white blotch and red flower. It grows everywhere on wood and iron. We are 'now being swiftly drawn to the west, I having no control over the ship. The first mate is dying, having contracted a disease similar to that of the cattle. I want to get away from here. I have to get away or I'll go mad. I have spread a trail of powder throughout the ship and I am going to ignite it soon. The remaining boat I have lowered into the water all ready for my depar- ture. May God have mercy on my soul, because I'm going to leave the captain on the ship. He is a raving maniac and I cannotkcontrol him. May the buming of the ship destroy the Beings before they get abroad and destroy our world. I'm going now to set the fire. God Bless me. Amen. . - At the close of the story not a sound was heard. The captain immediately called the sailor back again to ask him if he had observed anything queer about the lifeboat. The sailor stood a moment before answering. then saluting said, 'tWell, sir, the boat had some white blotches on it as though some paint had been scrapped off. -VVILLIAM Bor:sLrNo Page Sixty-two ll t' f'HllNl i U5T4 , Jokes WHAT are jokes? They are nothing more than our every day English language, so manipu- lated, as to bring forth laughter. You can take these same words at which you laughed, twist them a bit, and you will shed teafs. Well, such is life: first we laugh, then we cry. Jokes are divided into several classes according to the various joke-mongers. We have first, the joke that produces a slight cracking of the face, then we have the joke that brings forth a smile, the third style calls for a giggle, the fourth class manufactures a laugh, the next method brings a horse laughg and the sixth and last gives listeners hysterics. The question now arises, what shall we do: tell a number of jokes in one class, or mix them up from class one to six? In my estimation it is a poor policy to allow our listeners to sit for any length of time with their faces cracked, the same as I deem it poor policy, for them to sit longer than fifteen minutes with hysterics. We must try, therefore, to produce jokes that will start with cracking of the face and gradually work up to hysterics, and then back slowly, so as not to jolt the audience with too quick a change, to the crevaced face style. If .you are out to kill your audience, start right out with style No. Six and in fifteen minutes you can call a Big Parade of ambulances. If you're out to amuse the folks, start with No. One and work up as far as horse-laughs and then stop. If you want to bore your listeners, interchange the jokes between the cracked-faced style and the smile. In getting your wise-cracks across to the public always remember that, variety is the spice of life , the louder the applause. By variety, I mean variation in theme and manner of delivery, rather than variation in class distinction. Enter into your joke-vocabulary all sorts of conundrums, from Scotch jokes to Dumb and Dumber jokes. When you have mastered this, I can say, Cwith all apologies to Kiplingl then you'll be a Joker, my Son. -Hanky KORTREX' April A Hwntefs Paradise O April, your fickleness our spring does mar, Your moods as changeable as woman's areg Now you are bubbling forth with hearty mirth, Next you are weeping tears of rueful birth, Perhaps there's just a smile on lips so red, Or angry gloom does cloud your brow instead. -- Whatever one may say, You change three times a day. The earth receives your splendor once again, Your rays reflect from backs of drops of rain, An arch of beauty comes into the skyg These prisms rainbows make of many a dye, Flowers, trees, and leafy bowers twinkle With mist that raindrops on them duly sprinkle. Fickle April thus Plays her pranks on us. -Rrra GAMBARUTO Autumn leaves are falling Weather's cold and fair Ground is moist and springy, Tracks are everywhere. Vision's, clear to thousand yards, Common thing in Fallg Wind is light and steadyg It's paradise for all. Pointers flushing bushes, Hounds are trailing game, - Dead fowl and beasts Prove the hunter's fame. Strangers seeking for this land, Find it truly lies, Only in a hunter's dream Of a hunter's paradise. -WILLIAM Bossuxc Page Sixty-three In aimuiyu rsra By The Wayside TM TELLIN' you that the trouble your family had ain't got nothin' on us. One time my kid brother Willie wuz down with a broken leg, Pop was in the hospital with pneumonia and Ma sprained her ankle. Can ya' have had more hard luck than that at one shot? Annie of the Arts Department asked her associates quite agreeably. It was lunch hour in the store. About Hfteen of the girls were lounging in the rest room, waiting for the gong to end their hour of rest and send them back to the toil they knew so well. Meanwhile, they were enjoying themselves immensely. Tessie of UNotions continued the conversation along the line laid down by Annie. Trouble nuthin', Baby. I'm the one who knows Mr. Bad Breaks very well. Gee, when I wuz a mite my troubles began. Had a step-mother who was a wow. I hated her so that when I wuz fifteen I tried to run away. Then I took iodine once.', A chorus of exclamations greeted this remark, so Tessie proudly continued. 'tYep, that time they kept me down the North Hudson for a week. When I got out I wuz so desprit I got married. Yeh, that's why I look so salubricalf' But ain'tcha glad yer married? queried cross-eyed, freckled, little Yetta of the Yard Goods section. Before Tessie could answer, Mollie Brown, another of the married girls, spoke up. Sure, marriage is the only thing. Looka how wunnerful my husband is to me. Course he don't want me to be workin' here but I sez to him, I sez, 'John, I'd rather be workin' then sittin' 'round the house all day, even if I don't need the money.' Solemnly, the other girls all agreed that it was far better to work than to be idle all day long. This state of agreeableness was interrupted by the announcement that Mollie's husband Wanted to speak to her. She descended to interview her spouse with the result that the girls heard him bellow in his raucous voice: 4 t'What's this I hear about you refusing to work overtime to-night? You gotta nerve, Just you stay and make every cent you can. You know we need a lot of money and I ain't got a job yet. With that as a' parting shot he left Mollie to return to the listening group above the stairs. Say, Kids, she called, gaily entering the rest room, don'tcha think it's grand to have a bossy husband? Yeh, it does seem kinda nicej' they agreed as the gong sounded and they arose to approach the time clock. --Arm J Acons In English I neler get high marks There was a young fellow named Smith, Naught but sarcastic remarks, A lovely young man to be with, So between you and me, You may readily see, I can never be one of the sharks. -LoUis WARDI History, History gives me a pain, I almost think I'll go insane. If I don't learn Each page I turn, The teacher's rage on me will rain. -ELEANOR EMPTAGE Henry Ford has dolled up his 'tLizzie, 'Til now she really looks ritzy, With her Lincoln designs And long flowing lines, Motorists say she is not so dizzy -LAWRENCE WAGNER Page Sixty-four He laundered his tux With Dutch Cleanser and Lux ,Q And reduced it to less than a myth. -R. J. McE1,wRaA'rH There was a young fellow named Tom Who dropped a big dynamite bomb And now up in Mars, They're saying, My Stars! Where on earth did this thing come from? -R. J. MCELWREATH There is a girl named Rita Who hollers when you treata. But tell me this: Where is this miss? For I would like to meeta. -WILLIAM VRECENAK la ii u s A u, fs arse i Words From the Lips of the W iseu Dedicated in all respect and a spirit of fun. Ma. KILBURN: Miss BURLINGAME: M1ss'YoUNc: MR. O'CoNNoR: Mn. Pumps: Miss MANDA: Mn. ESHLEMAN: Miss HALFPENNY: Miss GABRIEL: Miss CREIGHTON: MR. WAGNEH: Miss ROBINSON! Mn. DELAMAT1-ms Mn. CARno1.x,: Miss Gommarr t'Now, psychologists say + D'you get the idea? I am still taking names. Any questions? I Three-eighteen this afternoon. You certainly can talk! f'Come on out androot for the te Songs Wise and Otherwise t'Hellol Cutie .,.. H Ramona .,..,... t'Worrying .. .. . Triumphal March Five Foot-Two . Rio Rita ........ t'Blue River .. . ., t'Together, We Two ..,...... 'tThe Sheik ....., The Sunshine of Your Smile .... 'tDaddy-Long-Legs .,........, Brown Eyes ........... .. .. Ahl Sweet Mystery of Life .... The Great Divide ,,.......,,. The Merry Widow . . ..,..... i I Is She the Girl-Friend? . Sweeping Cobwebs Off the Moon , . .... . . . . . . . A Little Boy, A Little Girl. A Little Moon . . ..., . , Crazy Words .......,.. ...,..,.,........, ..,., f'Memory Lane ....,... . .. ,..... ,, ...,.. . A . , . . Nobody's Sweetheart Now!?'. . . i'Broken-Hearted ........,... Bye-Bye-Pretty Baby . , , Among My Souvenirs ...,.,.. Four Walls . . . ...........,.,....,...,......., . . . Walking Around In Circles . . I Gave You Up, Just Before You Threw Me Down ..... Who would like to present'a Shakespearian play? You cannot go up this stairway! The sum and substance of the whole matter is L- fHopefullyD Doesn't- anybody disagree? Would you like the windows open? I would. Young man, consider yourself severely squelched! Any members of the orchestra in this room? am.' Speak now or forever after :hold your peace! ' V' -DOROTHHA MADDIEN . ,.vf. ,I Frieda Harris Palmira Martignone The night before exams June 29 Eleanor Emptage , . , .Rita Gambaruto Our tears at parting Aida and Theodore Louis Wardi Dorothea Maddien William Boesling Lottie Spranz A V Mr. Eshleman's questions Graduation Grace Simon Edna Eakin Question Review After the Senior Reception . 1 Our answers to any question . Our corridors A We know but We mustn't tell The teachers after reading our an- swers on examinations Any Senior girl after graduation The books we gypped Any Classroom Our passing regulations Our flunking subjects -DOROTI-IEA Mannn-:N Page Sixty-five Isis? as In Class Prophecy , H DOUGLAS -BREWER sat hunched over :an-'untidy,,desk, glowering at the platinum watch 'Phe held in his hand. 'Vreeenak said fheki be here at two-thirty, he muttered, Hand here it iscthirty-one minutes after two, and hes not here yet. Guess it's the shower that's detain- in him. ' ' g Just then, the bell rang, and Vrecenak hurriedly walked in. Sorry, old chap, if I delayed that compilation of the 'Who's Who, of the Class of June, '28,' but it's this darn slickerf' Douglas gazed wonderingly at that long-suffering coat and then at Vrecenak, ff'Every corner I turn, someonehaskli Ira? whim: makes this model, so of course I give Herbert Stelljes' 'card and direct them to is u er mporiumf' 'What's that go to do with you? Well, Ilm his agent and every sale means a commission. But, let's get to work. Both men sat down to think, whlich the reader might deem impossible, but' we swear the aforesaid phenomenon did occur, une 28, 1943. ' 'tLet's see, how about Prussak? l ' Vrecenak repllied, Oh, Fred? He lectures down at Union Square, to all the Socialists, almost every nig t.' - Speaking of lectures, whatever became of Sylvia Dorfman? Say, didn't you hear? Sylvia's a leading suffragette and keeps Fred's soapbox warm, when he's not there. Well, girls will be-was that my youngest son crying? No, as I was - Sorry, said William, to interrupt you, but speaking of babies, I saw Pal Martignone, down at the baby show in Atlantic City. Her kid took first prize. Sara Karel, Lucy Salvatore and Betty Davis were there, too, ealch claiming ,her child should have gotten all three prizes. You should have seen the clothes t e kids i- Speaking of clothes, I was up at Lobel's Baby Shop and they're using Edna Eakin's off- springs as models for sizes 3, 6, 10 and 16. She gets plenty of money - But, she's not the only one, said1Vreceriak, I hear Theodore Cohen is making plenty. I-Ie's become uite famous as a divorce awyer. bl 'i'Sg1u1?tri1yCf ysagg Dohflasrlclarefiully chewing the Edge of faAp5nc,il that came from Sko- ows i rens op, ut eo ore aways remin s me o i a. Yet! She's sitting in the first row of any court, Teddy's in, wondering how anyone can be so clever. I hear the next Class Reunion is at their home in Long Island. t'Quick, come over to this window. Some stunts that fellow in the airplane is doing! Why, it's Walter Gerish, showing Lindbergh some new tricks in the trade. A'How did you enjoy James Martin's speech as toastmaster, at our last reunion? Immensely. Remember, the story he wrote? Well, it so affected Philip Lustbader, that he's constructed a new electric chair, wherein the occupants do not suffer. Where did you get that beautiful baby carriage? William asked Douglas. You don't mean to say you don't recognize a North American carriage? Why, Dorothea Maddien presented every member of the class with one, to use when necessary. I remember, said Vrecenak wrinkling his magnificent brow, they're from her husband's factory. Speaking of factoriesil Jalan Colasanti has just become Vice-president of the Iron and Steel Corporation. You s ou see is secretary- The word, secretary, reminds me of Lottie-how's she? 'tOh, replied William, t'Lottie Spranz is much in demand as a model for Pepsodent. I always use it. Sheldon Davis, the middle west's most learned dentist, says it's wonderful. 'fPeachy radio, you have, said Douglas. f'Last time I was down at your house, Harry Kortrey, late successor to Will Rogersphad me in contortionsf' . t Ever pose for pretzels? asked William. And if we d1dn't know that William was far too noble to stoop to sarcasm, we might question the statement. I know that at the last E. S. Cfiym Exlgbit, Ed. Cumiskly and Joseph Farina performed such feats, that they were esiege wit o ers to pose on t e Pretzel boxes. Suddenly, Douglas took the watch from his pocket, Ye Gods! Five o'clock. The wife'll be home from the theatre. We'll leave the compilation 'till later. Before I leave, here's a card, said William, in rain or mists or fogs, Stelljes' Coats - but he found himself suddenly ejected and decided not to finish. Reluctantly he set out for home-sadly remembering that Harry Boorstein would be around to collect the rent on the morrow. Page Sixty-six It -QHIUNI HST4 Having been in conference with his former classmate, William, on his way home, was surprised to meet another old classmate, Lawrence Wagner. How've you been, old man? was Lawrence's cheery greeting. Top-notch. And you? Though to judge-.from outward appearance you seem to be sit- ting on top of the world. Well, I can't quite complain. But where are you coming from? Oh, I've just been in to see Douglas Brewer! You recall him? While there, we had a lengthy discussion about our old classmates. 4 How nice. Which reminds me that yesterday at a newspaper conference I bumped into Felix Mariicardi. It seems that he's editing some radical sheet. Guess he would. Say, have you seen Frieda Harris and Merrill Leavitt in the comedy they're doing this year? Really, it's a Wow! And I donit mean maybelnv, ' 'fHaven't seen them this year in their latest but I've heard that it surpasses anything they've done before. And by the way, Henry Fink has designed all the costumesand done the settings for this show of theirs. . Yeh, I know. And did you hear about Willie Mullestein? You mean the kid that was such a history shark? Sure. Well, when Mr. Eshlemen went to Columbia to teach, Mullestein was chosen as his successor. , . . Q What luck! But he's not the only classmate of ours that is now aiiiliated with the West New York schools. John Sarkisian is athletic instructor there, while William Fuchs has gotten a berth as shop teacher. More power to them, William amiably agreed, as the two separated after a cordial hand- shake with this as their final remark: One would expect all our former classmates to be suc- cessful, for surely, the class of June, 1928, was a most remarkable group. -Aim, Faux, AND Donornaa Gym Team CContinued from p. 807 METROPOLITAN A. A. U. MEET This A. A. U. meet was held at Dickinson High School. Leading fifteen teams, West New York came in first with 53 points. Dickinson was the nearest competitor with 1699 points. The A. A. U. titles were won by: Gerisch-horizontal bar, parallel bar, second on ringsg Farina-second on parallel bars and first on ringsg Edward Cumisky-first in tumbling, Harry Quigley-third on side horse, E. Bertone-second Indian club swinging. NEW JERSEY STATE GYMNASTIC CHAMPIONSHIP ' The scene of this championship meet was the new Memorial High School gymnasium. We hope this gym will see more of such events as this. West New York collected 31 points with Newark Academy coming in second with 7M points. Walter Gerisch ended his school career magnificently. He came out first on the horizontal bar, first on the parallel bars and second on the rings. Frank Cumisky was second on the horizontal bar. Joe Farina proved the state champion on the rings and was second on the parallel bars. Harry Quigley was second on the side horse. In club swinging E. Bertone finished second, Detgen second in tumbling and'C. Scheck third on the parallel bars. Of the 1927-1928 team, we shall lose the services of Walter Gerisch, its captain, Joseph Farina, and Edward Cumiskey. Those remaining are: E. Bertone, a Senior A, Frank Cumisky, E. Babiar, S. Quigley, H. Quigley C. Scheck and CChas.D Charlie Detgen who was elected captain. Carl Heller was chosen manager. There isnlt much more to s-xy of a bunch of State Champions except f'Keep it up ! Page Sixty-seven any IH 4l1H1lUMl HST4 e Our Senior Plays I AM sure that our Senior plays were some of the best that have ever been presented in our high school. Aside from the unusual fact that we had four plays instead of. three, they were all written by students of our Senior class. Judging from the work that our young playwrights have turned out, 1 am sure that we shall hear from them in years to como. On the night of Friday, January 13, 1928, Bonds and the Bandit was presented, a play written by Miss Dorothea Maddien, an author and poet of no little note. The r6le of Cynthia, the girl who returns from boarding school to find her formerly wealthy fami.y in reduced circumstances, was carried very well by Miss Ethel Yachter. James Martin, as Mr. Alstyne, the poor father unjustly accused of embezzling bonds, was a very fine husband, indeed, and Miss Sylvia Dorfman was a genuinely sympathetic Ma. The black-browed villain, Randolph Box, the real embezzler and suitor for Cynthia's hand, was acted by Peter Cibula, and the handsome hero, Harry Wallace, who parades around in a boarder's disguise in the attempt to unravel the mystery of the bonds, was played by Harry Boorstein. Cynthia's younger brother and sister, Celia and Richard, taken by Miss F reida Harris and Merrill Leavitt, simply delighted the audience with their excited chatter and witty remarks. Leo Lefkowitz, the obliging neighbor was played hilariously by Leo Cadel. Of course, the bandit is caught in the end, and the Alstynes live happily ever after. ' , The next play, My Wild Irish Rose, was written by Miss Catherine Martin, who was also the leading lady. The little niece, Patricia, one of whose aunts, Nell, Qplayed delight- fully by Miss Maddienl believes her to be a boisterous Irish maid, comes to visit them. To play a joke on Nell, Pat and her other aunt, Bridget, played by Miss Edna Eakin, decide that she should take the part of an uncultured Hibernian Iassy. Miss Martinls interpretation and Irish brouge brought peals of laughter from the audience. Chester, the-confidant was acted well by Robert Roulston, and John Sarkisian was the chauffeur who turns out to be a friend of the heroines'. The attendants to the party in this play, besides the afore- mentioned characters, were: Miss Eva Arthur, Miss Lottie Spranz, John Kovac, and Joseph Farina. Walter Gerish, as the playwright, gave the play a romantic element by seeming to be quite eligible in Pat's eyes. Marie Todd took the part of Sarah, the maid. The play closed with the song My Wild Irish Rose by Miss Martin, who has a ,very sweet voice. The last play was called H345 Perf, written by Miss Aida Jacobs, who also 'had the leading r6le. Berta, the girl who high-hats her family, CAida did it superblyl vows not to marry anyone less than a millionaire, and consequently falls in love with Jerry, acted on successive nights by Lawrence Wagner and William Boesling, respectively. The brother of Berta, cleverly acted by Morris Skoblow on Friday night, and Harry Kortrey on Saturday night, gave the audiences many a laugh. He knows that Jerry is not a millionaire, and he and all his friends: Samuel Volpe, William Vrecenak, Louis Wardi, Robert McElwreath. Edmund Piano, Thomas Basmajy. Arthur Cfoellner. and Herbert Kahn, wonder how they are going to break it to her. But Berta turns the tables, and says in the end that she knew it all the while. The mother was played by Palmira Martignone and Josephine Albrecht, and the father by Herbert Stelljes and Stephen Skrinar. Eleanor Emptage was the cute little sister. , On Saturday night, the 14th, the last two of these plays were given andalso O.K., a side-splitting farce. The author of this comedy was Felix Manicardi, and although he took no part in it except as a radio broadcaster Coff stageh, he tried his utmost to make it a success. Peter Catozzio was Tim, the husky, lazy youth who feigns illness to keep from working. Peter's success as a comedian insures his becominga second Harry Langdon, some- day. Miss Lucy Salvatore. as Gerty, certainly was a good cure with her lively spirit and school cheers. Miss Grace Simon, as a most solicitous and sympathetic Eastside mother, was delightful, and Shirley Leavitt as MPa gave us proof of another budding -actorp Sheldon Davis was Bob, the sensible brother who tries his best to reform Tim, and the Apart of the doctor of whom Bob asks advice was taken by Harry Appel. Betty Davis was Bob's fiancee. There were also two radio broadcasters foff stagej, Peter Cibula, the 'violinist, and Antonette Pelcak, the lady lecturer. The applause that each play received, assured us that everything was NOK. We wish to extend our sincerest thanks to Miss Rita Gambaruto, for singing for us between plays, and we congratulate her on her lovelv voice. Last, but not least by any means, we thank our directors, Miss Young, Miss Burlingame. and Miss Godfrey, most sincerely for their untiring efforts to make our plays a success. -BETTY Davis I Page Sixty-nine The Speed Club Hll S1101-rl Chili wus l'00I'giLlllZOKl tl1is term aiflt-1' il lupsf' of om' jvozw. This fllllll is thc 1'0INlCZVUllS of the schoolls host typists whether thcy hc in their first or lust tcrm of typing. The main purpose ol' this Club is to flovclop gIl'021tl'l' skill in tYIll'Wl'itiI1Q. The most skillul typists of tho Club are vhoscii to 1'CI11'0S0llt thc' svhool .Zlt tho Vflllllly :mtl stzltc Contests. 'llho chili was woll roprosontccl in Eleanor Mikus :lt both Oontosts :is lilcamor took iirst plau-0 in 1-zicli, writing G9 worcls por minute for 15 lllilllltCS at thc County Fontvst, :tml T23 woiwls por minute l'orl5m1nutcs at the Stzlto Contest. The typing: l02llll whivli was vomposwl of lilozmoi' Mikus. lflstollc- Smith. zmfl Hvlvii Svliwollow 1-zulu' in scvoml :lt lmoth vontcsts. Eleanor has also broken the C.'l'.C. 1'llf'Ol'fl ol' Wm-st New York High Sf-hool by writing pcrfcvtly for lil lllilllltCS at thc rate ot' SPC! woiwls pol' mimitv. However, sho has hurl ai Close follower in listvllo Smith. who wrotm' ST worlls pei' minute on thc C.T.C. 'l'hc ollicvrs of the vlub for this term wore: IJl'PNI'K1l'Ilf ......................... .... E LIQANUH xllKI'S l'1'f'a-IJ1'e,wz'fIf nf .. . l3oRoTi1r:A M,x1m11':N Sl'f'l'0fllI'jj .... .... I io'1'TlE SPRANZ L1-lJl'l1l I-Illl . , . . l'lS'TliI,Lli SMITH Przyv New My -.4 ' -0- 7 xl x fx' ' , , xx f 1 1 ,,,. 2 f l e 7 1-v The 1JZ.SCUSS1-OI? Club lCC'Al'SlC ul' thc- pniiistzxkiiigg 1-fl'm'ts ol' our l':u'ulty aulvisor. M12 Plivlps, :mal thv ggviiviuil XVllllll'lli'ill'lUKl support ol' thc llll'lIllll'l'SlllIJ, this has lll'llll :L lmxuim-1' your fm' thi- Club. Tho Fluli has always kopt sum-h il high slauiflzml that il is 1-v1't:1i11ly om- ol' thi- most l3l'Ill'lll'l1ll aiml Ill'OgIl'l'SSlVl' mgzuiizzilimis in Ulll' svlimul. Thr- uHi1'01's fm' this tvriii who livlpwl tmvxml this wow: lXl2llllll'W Rtls0Illl2lIlS ....,............. .... ....... l ' rvsialviil N. F1-lix 3l!lIlll'2ll'fll .. . . .Yl1'l'-lJl'0SlllPlll liusv lilzivlu-1' ..,.................................... S4'r'i'0l:11'y Thl- 'llwpin' f10lllllllTll'i' i'llIlSlSllllg3Q ul' Alitmiio Di l.m'v1izo, f1ll2llI'IlI2lIl, l5l'Il.l2llllll1 Ifisolistm-il1.zl11fl 3l1lXl'UllL'll Sl1lll1lll'llflll'CllllJXVllll nmiiy ilitm-wstiiigi topics. 'l'hvsm- :ilwziys Zll'0llSl'll plvlity ol' livvly mlismissimis whivh :ima ol' 1'0lll'HI', thx- :lim ul' our fllllll. Thai Blviiihm-rsliip ftlllllllllllli' whivh tnkvs 1-:irc that only hzml working :mel lIlll'llll.El'IlI stullvlits join thc Fluh :llso has dom- wvll this ll'l'll1. This is :ni lllllltlllillll lluty lm' it is vssf-ntizil that llli'1lll'IlllN'l'Sllll?Slllllllll2llW2lyS ho am ililclli- gc-nt :mil vllivim-lit g.Il'0Illl. This m'm1i11iillc'0 vmisists ol' Blorris Slwhluw, l1lHlll'lIlZlll, Phillip l,llSll2l4ll'l', :xml Julius Shiskiii. Pujff' Sll'1'llf!f'llll4' l n it Tig l X W t p pp IH QHILINI W HST4 ll ,fQ?', A' ' V! Tho :aims ot' the Club us cmhomlioml iii our Constitution arc: A, To stimulato iiitorcst, in i'lI1'l'CIlt suhjwts oi' nzltionzil :mil intvihzitionnl TlIlPOI't2tI1K'C. B. To olmhlo stullouts to cxprcss their opinions, for or against topic-s imclol' mlisvussiori, with COIIITIQU, logiv, rvsozm-li, :mtl proper flolivory. C. To train stullcnts for possihlc' lntvi' IJ2ll'tlC'll7llllOl1 in TI1lCl'St'll0l2lStlC' Dvlmzntiligf' This implivs that not only stuclcuts who can spc-:ik iiioflomtcly wcill may he :lllowcrl to join hut also that stuclonts who r-zumot speak well :xml wish to improvo tllcmsvlvvs may cutor. This tcrm, lwvziuso of tho grzicliiziting vlziss. tlwrv will ht' uhout tcn vm-zuivics for whivh stuclvnts ot' the si-hool :irc cm'o111'z1g0fl to submit llllxil' zipplivzltions. --N. Ficmx lxl.-XNICXRIJI .luvloic ilims' filI,lCl'I CTLU: Ihzfff' S4'1'r'nIgf-Iwo E . ef r The Senior Girls' Glee Club THE Senior Girls' Glee Club is under the direction of Miss Eickm-inn of who ' A - 1 , SC work and guidance it is very appreciative. The club meets every Wednesday, the fourth period. The eo-operation and ability of the members were brought to light at the concert held on Friday, May 11. The numbers which they offered were Trees, UMa Curly-Headed Babbyf' and The False Prophetfl OFFICERS: 1 President ...... .......... ..... A N NIE TAYLOR Vice-President . . . ..... ETHEL SCHMALZ Secretary ....... .... V IRGINIA ABRAMS Treasurer ..... . . . J ULIET GIOGGIA The Junior Girls' Glee Club THIS division of the Girls' Clce Club is under the direction of Miss Kaempf. These girls have been doing splendid work 'md have shown their fi neeiatio . . N .pl ' - n by successful performances. This group also contributed to the success of the May 11 concert. Its num- bers, They Met on a Twig of a Chestnut Tree, Heav'n, Heav'n,ll and When a. Maid Comes Knocking, were eharmingly sung.: and received due applause. OFF1cERs: President ...... .... ,..... . . .... H ELEN PUMO Vice-President . . . ............ VIOLA BUEGE Secretary .... . . ELIZABETH NALBANDIAN Treasurer .... ANNA GATT1 Page Seventy-three 1 w ., w...- rf f- 'x 3- l D5 M ,.1 ,-4 Q ,w ,... , 'e H Z -. V I 3 .-4 Z CL .-i 'MY -A J 14 IU aim The Senior Orchestra Q The Senior Orchestra is the largest musical organization in our High Schoolf It lacks several instruments that are required in a complete symphony orchestrag nevertheless it is a well-balanced group and under the direction of Mr. De Lamater, their work is very satisfactory and praiseworthy. At the concert, on May 11, they delighted the audience with their classical numbers, namely, Pomp and Circumstancen and the great master Beethoven's t'First Symphonyf' Other numbers were: Pan-Americana and t'Selections from 'The Student Prince'. OFFICERS: President ....,,......,.......,...,....,. . . .DOUGLAS BREWER Secretary and Treasurer .... ....,.. J OHN Kovm' Boys' Glee Club - ' As only three members we1'e graduated, a practically organized club returned in February. - Work was started for the concert held on May 11, at which the club presented HA' Little Close Harmony and The Shadow March . Mr. George A. De Lamater, director, is to be credited for the progress and 'achievements of this organization. OFFICERS: Q . President ........ ......,......,.. ..... R . MC. ELWREATH Vice-President ..,......... .,......... H . IKAHN W Secretary and Treasurer .... ......... E . FICKI-:N Junior Orchestra This year witnessed the birth of the Junior Orchestra, composed of violins and piano only, under the direction of Madeline Pinter. Its young membersf have been most industrious in working up the numbers 'tSpring,', t'Boat Song , and Bouree , which were offered so well at the concert. This organization has led to the awakening of an interest for music in the minds of the younger members of the school. , Zllaudoliu Club - The Mandolin Club has become one of the successful musical organizations of the school. It has been doing high grade work and has contributed its full share to the general .musical program. Under the leadership of Mr. De Lamater this club promises to become one of the most popular in the West New York High' School. Page Seventy-five 4 . A f ,q-.9 EJ 'UE 6 , At, x iq, n ly.. Vi. T9 situ h 35,14 wif 1 4 ,A : Q.. :fi 4 -4 3552296-mg! ig-affix, ,jfs 21'mf'.', , QQ . -- ' . xml ' Basketball The Ylvvsf Ncw York High School Iiziskofbzill Team ccrtziilily looked good after its glorious victory over Union Hill. lYe now haul won five. games and had lost two, one being ai county gzuno. CLIFTON-203 W. N. Y.-30 lVith Jimmy Christie and Georgc Dedrick doing some nice guarding. Wrist New York trounced Clifton. Max Tabacchi run wild, scoring six- toon points. LINCOLNM15g W. N. Y.-25 West New York took Lincoln into camp for her seventh win of the season. Lincoln minus the services of Sznmmy Stein put up ii Stiff battlr- in thc lwgiiming but in tho lust half we showed our stufT. 'Grieg nfieorg Jxmmi Ijllfll' S1 iw rely-1 frfff! In 4ltHlUNl HST4 . .. ST. cEc11.iA-Q25 W. N. Y.-23 7 1 ' With f-Buddy' Hof shooting in sensatiohialistyle, we won our fourth consecutive victory. Our defense .was shown by the scoringfof foiir -field' goals by Cecilia. . .. - A ' sr. cEo1L1ALL2o.ft-hw. N. Y.-14 ' ' . ig W , ' ' . -. ,.,.-s... V i ... Much -to our surprise, St. Cecilia sprung' aatrick or two and beat WestANew York at Englewood. We had high hopes of beating this team twice but things went the other way. Max Tabacchi led the scoring column. ' - EMERSON--235 W. N. Y.-so U W One team we did trounce twice was Emerson. Henry Fink, as before in -the other Emerson gamegtbore the brunt of the West New York attack.i Carlie Gilespyvassffright with him too, snaring SIX points. ' ' ' sr. PETERS-355 W. N. Y.-as - ' 'V In oneof the most thrilling court battles ever staged in West New' YgrkifiSt.'Peters and W. N. Y. High played a tie game. With three overtime periods andmne teamhllbad one minute, and the other the next, the excitement was intense. Long rpgef shooting. was the style of attack. The two Christie brothers took the limelight. ' Ti ' ' LINCOLN-135 W. N. Y.-30 V Lincoln provedan easy opponent for West New York's fast advancing basketball dribblers. Max Tabacchi,'Fink, and Dave Christie threw in a few in sensational style. ' ' ' . A RUTHERFORD-27g W. N. Y.-19 . ' g We met quite 'a bit of opposition in Rutherford's bunch of couit passers. They -proved a bit too muchfor us, especially in heaving. Max Tabacchi played center, Henry Fink .being out on accountof a leg injury received in the Lincoln game. 0 ' A Q f DEMAREST--235 W. N. Y.-is ,Aj-' This -long waited-for game was just a bit disappointing. Demarest, headed for afcounty championship, managed to come out on top. But don't worry, we gave them some opposition. Fink's absence was noticed, but the whole team fought all the way. They want another chance at the Hoboken players in the latter's court. A Y - CLIFFSIDE-225 W. N. Y.-26 ,1 Back again into the winning column it We Chit Cliffside hard and came thsciugh with a hard-fought victory. Dedrick's longxheave featured. h - it UNION HILL-L20g4 W. N. Y.-22 y ,W , By some spectacular heaving by Max Davis, West New York conquered'Union1 Hill for the second time. The goals made by the West New York captain came'in.fhe fast cou le of minutes and caused the W. N. Y.'rooters to gointo spasms. Frank T abacchiplayedn a bang-up game' at center. ' 3 ' ' 1 ST. PETERS-225 W. N. Y.-28 ' 7 This victory showed our superioritv over St. Peters. after the tie game in the first encounter. Giles unloosed some fancy shooting to gather in twelve points. WEEHAWKEN-255 W. N. Y.-20 West New York was certainly stunned by this defeat. Over-confidence may have had something to do with it. VVoodrow Wilson was rated as a second-class team and a victory was expected. Maybe we shall get another chance at them. Page Seven ty-nine ll ararmi rsfra ST. MICHAELS-28, W. N. Y.-19 A defeat by Weehawken must have been a casting blow because St. Michael's came along and laid us lo-w. Dedrick was in a new position playing center. Two games lost in succession is something new for West New York. i WEEHAWKEN-23g W. N. Y.-L30 , . . West New York came out of its slump by staging a last minute rally against Woodrow Wilson. The latter thought the game was theirs but Max Davis and Frank Tabacchi and a few others thought otherwise. And so, the baskets came in fast and we won by seven points. A EAST SIDE PATERSON-335 W. N. Y.-36 ' ' This game was won in an extra period. Four second string men started the game. DEMAREST-24, W. N. Y.-17 As much as we desired to win, Demarest's fast moving machine proved too much for us. Galinsky and his crew must be given credit for their ability to play basketball. Giles out- scored all the men on both teams with 8 points. CLIFTON-235 W. N. Y.-33 With Hof starring, West New York grabbed another victory. It was our second victory ovcr Clifton this season. ' BAYONNE-47, W. N. Y.-39 Bayonne sprung a surprise and managed to come through victorious. Carroll was their starring player. It was too bad that the last game of the season had to be lost. In conclusion, it can only be said that Mr. Burns and his basketball team earned. all the success it achieved. It won the North Hudson title for the first time, even though it didn't cop county title. Mr. Burns deserves a great deal of credit for his encouragement and coach- ing of the boys. He has developed splendid material. We look for something from Dave Christie in next year's season. Giles, Hof and Frank Tabacchi will be with us again and ought to stand out in the county record. Max Tabacchi would have been high scorer of the county in my opinion if his injury hadn't come as it did. The second team, with Bartley Conti starring deserves a great deal of praise. We mustn't forget Morris Dwoskin, Tommy Basmajy and Rinaldi who worked for the good of the team all season. Although we lost tg Englewood in the State Tournament, the Jersey Observer rated our team at eight in t e state. -J. SHELDON DAVIS Gym Team The West New York High School enjoyed one of the most successful seasons it has ever had. Captain Gerisch led his team to victory and gave some very skillful exhibitions himself. Mr. Carroll's care and coaching were rewarded by the climax of the season, the winning of the New Jersey State Gymnastic Championship. ' - ' DICKINSON!-145 W. N. Y.-40 For the first. time in the history of the gym team, we defeated Dickinson High School, As the score 1HdlCitt6S,,W6St New York showed real ability-and then some. We took four first places and Dickinson copped two. Gerisch, Babiar and Farina were the first-placers. ' NEWARK ACADEMY-30g W. N. Y.-24 This defeat was unexpected, but I believe it was just the thing to make the fellows try all the harder in the following matches. It's tough to lose by close scores. CContinued on page 677 Page Eighty N 'rr lu aieim rsra Tennis .For the first time in years West New York High School is represented by a tennis team. When Mr. McGrath, the faculty adviser called for candidates, more than twenty boys responded. From this group five boys were selected as the team to represent the school. They were: Morris Dwoskin, Matthew Rosenhaus, A. Lobue, Morris Skoblow and Leo Schultz. Eugene Bertone was chosen manager and he arranged a schedule. The first match was with Woodrow Wilson High of Weehawken. The boys won handily, taking four matches to Wilson's 0. With another week's practise, the team met the strong St. Peter's Prep. team. West New York again conquered. This time it was by a score of 3 to 1. From the way the team has been playing it looks as if West New York will take the county championship. Other matches have been arranged with Union Hill, Hasbrook Heights, Emerson and Demarest while matches with Hoboken Academy, Stevens Prep, Tenafly and Dickinson are pending. Here's to a successful seasonl --SHELDON Davis Track Team Two years ago West New York had a track team. Now we have started one again. We haven't much hope this year as it is so late, but it's the future that counts. West New York has the ability. All we need is the spirit. With but four days of practise, the team travelled to Tenaflv and lost by the score of 7116 to 3256. This shows we have something. Henry Fink won the discus throw with 92 ft.. 2 in. He also won the shot-put. We have some fine material in Babiar, F. Cumiskey, Yeuter and M. Tabacchi. ,Q F WWI, Our hopes remain for the future. 5 Girls' Basketball Team WE CAN always take our hats off to the girlsl They have turned ,-out a Basketball team that West New York can be proud to support. Every game was fought with the typical West New York spirit though some defeats were sustained. Seventeen games were played and they closed the season by matching their wits against the faculty's. You all know about that game because everybody was there. Even the alumni turned out. But how that auditorium held that crowd we'll never know. Our girls ended the season with a victory, for even the strategic playing of the faculty could not hold them down. The girls on the team this term were: Edith Barnett, Beatrice Beerwald, Evelyn Boesling, Mary Braconovich, Mary Chadwick, Agatha Downey, Marion Drew, Olga Duray, Anna Gilardi, Ellen Herndon, Dorothy Klotch, Ethel Miller, Estelle Smith, Louise Oltmar, Bertha Oberauer, Helen Pumo, and Annie Taylor. The manager this season was Grace Buchanan who was ably assisted by Elaine Updyke. Mary Braconovich, by her exceptional playing in the faculty game, showed great prospects of being a star forward next year. Mary certainly did surprise us by her dexterous playing as forward after playing side center all season. Olga, our little freshman player, looks like good material for the coming year. Keep up the good work, Olga. We must not forget to give thanks to our manager, Grace Buchanan, who has been present at every game and attended capably to all her duties. Most credit, however, may be attributed to the coaching given the girls by Miss Reily, who can always be depended upon to build up a fine team. Page Eighty-one 6. 5 :iq IH 4lHlUNI HS'll'4 I A ' Girls' Tennis Team ICYICR bcforo wore tho lY0st Now York High School girls so outliusiaistic null anxious to form il lonnis team. On the day for the try-outs 21 great orowcl was clown at tho courts. Tho lucky few wore: Mary Clizulwick, Ethel Millor. Louisv Ultluur, Cassie Rive, Amiio Tarylor, Dorothy Troll and Elaine Vpmlylio. Louisc Ultmzir was iuaulo imuizigro1'. This your tho girls' tc-nuis tozmi has zilrozuly svliocliilml ll liomo gnuuo with l3ll'lilIlSUIl for 'tho oml of May, il return gzuuo with tllom for Julio :xml :1 gaum' with lla1shro11m'k H1-iglils. O11 Nziy 25 tho girls' :mil boys' tvrmis foams holml :L mlzuioo to firiziiivo tho foams. liritm-1't:1iii11ic11t wus givc-11 :xml tho rlzmco provocl both il soc-iul :incl fiimm-izil slicvoss. For :ill tho ll2ll'll work that Miss Roilcy. thc' vonvli, :iml tho girls oxvrl. wo hopo that l0lllllS will b'f'f'tlllll' ai major sport. ' f sSY1.V1.x lJORFM.-XX IN-A .5 THE TENNIS Tl-:AMS Pagr' Eiglzty-1100 Baseball llozivli liurns rzillcwl lmsvlmll pi':u'tic't' :is soon as tluf wvattlivi' pc-rniittr'tl. A host of lnill- plziyors Crum- out to Ilia' Plztygrouiuls. The succvss of lust yt':u s tt-:un must, hzivo ln- stlllml souu- spirit. into tho school. Among the Vctorzui plaxyrwrs ol lust your wc-ro Sock'l or Szirkisixui. prosviit cziptzun, Adolph Dvtgcn, Charlie Dotgrcn, Frank 'lzilmcclu, Cairllo Giles. Shnldon Davis, Tommy Busiiiuiy, :md Potvi' Cntozzlo. Sock was our only pitcher but. :L find was llIl0ill'lll0tl ln Tonuny lxvrinun, at czuidldato for lust yv:u s tlurtl lmsc position. Davie Christie, :L lvlt li:inrlol', got tho first liznso job. Tuhucclu :incl Gllris occupied thou' usual positions, with Davis. lust yu:u s first lD2l.Sl'Il12lI1, playing third. A lot of uc-w iiiaitt-i'mlg nzunf-ly, Miller, Reilly, Guntlivr. Conti. Ixnutson, and Cuomo wort' 4llSCOVl!I'l'tl. Antl so tht- season began with tho pitvlnngz stuff mclutling S2lI'klSli1I1, Kcvnzm, ltlmltlm Piano :ind Br-rt, Otis. ST. MICHAICLS-lg XY. N. Y.-ll Wost Now York opvnvtl its svaison with at l'mng by wzilloping: St. Mivliiu-ls to at tune ol 14 to 1. Siirkisiztu l7lll'1lK'tl his lust hull over the plaitv und czuno through with at ont-- liit IN'!'ll0I'IIlLll1l'1'. His clouhlo also was ai svorclior. Cutozzio slauninod :L llOlll0l' over thc loft tivlfl fvnco for the first ont- of tho svuson. But Bzisiimjy, our fast liltlo outfielder shone with thrrc hits out of four trips to tho pluto. lVl'ilCHAVl'Kl'lN-03 XV. N. Y.-8 VVith VFOIIIIIU' Kc-vimii pitvliiug shut-out lmll, Wrist Now York srorml its sf-rond victory of the season. Hg- zillowccl two hits :intl collcctml two hiinsc-lf. Busiuajy continuvrl his hitting Ivy gotting two lnts. It was our smwoncl county vu:toi'y. - - Page Eighty-three lu 4HlLlNI lIST4 ' DICKINSON-9g W. N. Y.-0 The team felt its first defeat of the season at the hands of the Dickinson ball-players. Peinkowski, Dickinson's star twirler, pitched in fine style and fanned fifteen. men.. This was the game we wanted to win since Dickinson won last year's county championship. Adolph Detgen contributed a two base hit. We hope the team doesn't take this defeat to heart, but that it keeps on plugging. EMERSON-4g W. N. Y.-3 Our second defeat was administered by Emerson, a team that we thought we could easily down. Keenan gave them six scattered hits, but walked a few. In the seventh, with the winning run on third, Sarkisian and Tabacchi allowed the ball to drop between them for a hit and the game. But they should not be blamed because we should have hit better than we did. Davis got two hits out of three trips to the plate. CLIFTON-2g W. N. Y.-7 West New York got out of its slump by plastering Clifton with a barrage of 14 hits: Dave Christie collected three hits and was responsible for a number of runs. Frank Tabacchi hit his first home run with Christie on base. Keenan kept Clifton's seven hits well distributed. RIDGEWOOD-4g W. N. Y.-3 West New York seems to lose by close scores as this game and the Emerson game signify. But close scores count and the players better get busy. Otis and Piano walked too many men and got in trouble so often, that the old reliable t'Two-Hit Keenan .came to the rescue. He didn't give a hit in six innings. Giles and F. Tabacchi got two hits apiece. The peculiar thing was that. W. N. Y. got twelve hits to Ridgewood's two. Something wrong! DEMAREST-03 W. N. Y.-4 . Behind Two Hit Keenan's steady twirling, Vllest New York pounded out a 4-0 victory over Demarest. Adolph Detgen gave a remarkable demonstration of nabbing runners going down to second. Not a man stole a base on him. His triple was one of his two hits. LINCOLN-lg W. N. Y.-18 1 Just another run-away for West New York. West New York's hitting and Sarkisian's brilliant pitching couldn't be stopped. Sock hurled his second one-hit game of the season and deserved a shut-out. A. Detgen, Christie and Catozzio led in the hitting. ST. PETER'S-2g W. N. Y.-7 Right in the middle of its stride, West New York hit St. Peters', contenders for county championship. Tommy Keenan's pitching proved too much for the Saints and together with our heavy hitting won the game. Tommy deserved a shut-out, but in the ninth a mis- cue on a double-play prevented it. Frank Tabacchi led the sluggers with three hits. Page Eighty-,four X f 5 X N, si w ' 'WSL SWQLR S52 ez ' 2 'Q Q Q , me XM 4m ?g41 2 6 Iumn ,- fe fi s . 1 i v s 'rl Wi, S3 si t Flli s ,' Y ,Q tl S 'Q EK, Q S Q' 10 sw T X N . A Ky r . X ' if l . D Alumnae Notes During the past years, former graduates of VVest New York High, by their accomplish- ments in various professions, have succeeded in placing their Alma Mater in a most honored position among educational institutions. The State Normal School of Newark, New Jersey, is now ready to award to the June Class of '28 teacher-certificates. Among those to receive diplomas are the following alumnae of West New York High: Mildred McMahon, Katherine Rago, Florence Connell, Julia Martin, Miriam Rosen, Isabel Riese, and Sadie Sherman. Violet Gioggia, Class of '27, is one of the most popular girls in Montclair. She holds the office of secretary in her class. In this student Montclair has gained what West New York High lost. Margaret Hartert, Class of '28, has entered the business world. She is employed in the First National Bank of West New York , but intends to enter Normal School next fall. Katherine Donovan at Trenton Normal, writes of her good times plus studies. She, like many others of our alumnae, will finish her training and begin her career as a teacher. A few of the girls who are reaping the fruits of a commercial course from West New York High are: Hazel Marshall, Emma Brunner, Agnes Blocklinger and Mabel Holland. XVest New York is indeed proud of such girls as these and wishes them success in their future work. -CATHERINE MARTIN Alumni Department Much has been said regarding the fine work of the female graduates of this noble institution. Here are a few of the male graduates who deserve some praise for their enter- prising nature. James Christie, we are pleased to hear, has secured a-much-sought-for-position with the New York Telephone Company. We know that success will await him there as it did in basketball. Robert Campbell is preparing to enter Stevens College in the fall. He is to take up Electrical lingineering. As he is a clever mathematician, this course will be second nature to him. Both James Thompson and Lester Mandle have responsible jobs with Kerns Meat Packers. Here we shall see keen rivalry when the question of who shall be president of the Company arises about twenty years from now. Vincent Amoroso has shown what he can do as a teacher right here in West New York High School. He has been an invaluable substitute when teachers have been absent. Teach- ing is not for him, howeve1', for he plans to study dentistry at New York University in September. -JAMES MARTIN Page Eighty-Jive In emma? Users A Eafchange eparzfment Buried in a heap of wires, we two, called by some The Radio Nuts, are preparing for a night with our new radio, the Super-Moanodyne. Whoee! Swish! Bang! The beast is at work. Boy, there is plenty of static. But then, this set is guaranteed to bring in all the stations as loud and clear as a set of chimes. The fellow who sold it to us even said so. What is this? A local? This is station Q-U-I-L-L, CQuillJ, broadcasting from the Lincoln High School in Jersey City, New Jersey. We are over-whelmed by many favorable comments, our humor department seeming to be especially enjoyed. 'The Radio Nuts' request more stories and other literary prose work and they state that this can easily be obtained at our school because there is much evidence of ability in our present program. What is that? Distance? . . . No, it is only a local monthly station and it seems full of interesting prose ability, excellently displayed. Do you recognize the station? Why, it is our new friend The Columbian broadcasting from the Holy Family School in Union City, New Jersey. Shall we try for some athletics? The other station in Jersey City may answer our quest. . Did you ask what station it was? We meant The Petrean. Ahh-football, football and somemore football! Truly, poor judges as we are of stations and their programs, athletics, we think, should not be allowed to overshadow all other activities and abilities. What little else this station submits is excellent and we are sure there is more where that came from. There are two more locals left. Here is the first. This station has a very effective program. The Orange Leaf from Orange, New Jersey is its address. Here you have plenty of good literary material, well spiced with school news, athletics, and humor. The last local we shall tune in presently. Here it is. It is The. Flambeau from the Cliffside High School here in New Jersey. This present program we think is much better than the example of its previous work which it has graciously submitted. We might advise, that we do not relish the mixing of advertisements with the magazine proper for it seems tobcommercialize the program. Aside from this, we enjoyed its program of extra-curricular su jects. ' Tuning for distance we come upon the Faithful Jejfersonian. It is the voice of the Jeffersonian High School at Rochester, New York. For a station of their power we think it supplies a very good program. It is well stocked with literature, considering it is a monthly, and therefore we agree that it is equal to the work of a Senior High School. On with the good work, J effersonians! And on we say for more distance, for verily we are D-X hounds. Listen to the clear volume of this station, The Balance Sheet broadcasting from the Business High School in Washington, D. C. This is the fourth time we have received its pro- gram and every time it has been true to its title. In one program we enjoyed 'tThe Tailor's Wife, but that Was only one of the many good stories. Ah! Here is some real distance-Texas! We are now listening to the program of The Stampede from the Sunset High School. To us down Easternersu the titles of its depart- ment are sometimes queer, but We certainly appreciate the tang of the ranch which they give us. We especially like and commend The Medicine Man. Eureka! California! We are receiving the annual submission of the Stockton High School, The Guard and Tackle. The most beautiful and conservative program we have ever heard. it astounds us by the amount of student activity that is brought out so well. Thus having made a circuit of the nation with our radio, we thank all those who sent us- their programs and turn now to prepare our own. -MAX BENDETSON, ' -N. Faux MANICARDI K Editors of Exchangel' Page Eighty-six' X iff X ff f f fl! ff X X M X X f ff X I I A ff ff fifffbl 1 Xxx! , ,M 4, W f 9 ff! Z! f .,, 'WX' 'a I .1 , ,fury ' 1 fl l 7, ff' y A rf? X, z 5 , ff f , f , f ,Q , 4' f ff f t 2 -f f ' . A f ,f A 4 , 5,1 X ,,4 f f f f f ff 4 0 11,7 ,fy 11,59 f ,X Q f N T V ' ss a miss X16 u l i Miss ie k s S 1 , W Y X v. Y V A f . 1, 1 ikx L . 1 1 AK -il - A: in H , X QQ X. G '1 '10 X Q f QV GA -559 I I ijw if-Ee U? Vie HIARDICK A LIMERICK A thing that puts me in doubt Is the disease which they call the goutg It seems funny to me That you she and he Should all have a foot growing stout. -Hixmw IIORTREY MAN IN FLORISTZ Iyd like to see some huttercups, please. CLERK: Sorry, but this is a florist shop, not a China shop. -Si-:Li-:e'ri:n Sok : Give me some Ginger Ale. Waiter : Pale ? . Sok : Naw, a bottle will be enough. To miss a kiss Is more amiss Than it would be To kiss a missg Provided that The kiss you miss The miss herself XVould never miss. But if you try ffl W f f ZW? WJHW 1 o ki Z!! . ,. ff? ie . jp! V , .. . A , if V With whom -1 kiss XX ould hs, 'imiss You d better always tl 'lS.'. -Si-LLECTL1 D drinking? Ou bo youve sworn off Ku Yes, I m kidneys An Englishman time doing it for the wife and -Si L.Ec'1'icu heard an owl for the first What was that? he asked. An owl WHS the reply. I know that, my deah fellah, but what was 'owling? --Si-xnncrun Gmci-1: I'm worried about my complexion. Look at my face. Pi-fri-1: You ought to diet. GRACE: Thassa good idea, what color? LARRY! I hear chief for twenty Loumz Gee, t blow in. Vera bought a handker- dollars. hat's a lot of money to daughter of Lieutenant The wife and Berry were halted by a sentry, who had orders to allow Sorry, b ut yo to the main gate. 'tBut we're the t'Lady, I don't care if you're the cat's meow, you can't Mu. C.umoL I FRESHINI.-KN Cti my right face. Miss Gowiiizr: is your homewor Haimrz No I not in mind. Miss G ODFILEY I Zip D Here's sc Oh please Oh please Oh please Oh please Uh please Oh please Oh please! Oh! don't don't don't don't don't, don't ! no one through his gate. u will have to go around Berrysf' go through this gate. -SELECTI-an angrily! 2 Right face!! midlybz Yes, Sir, this is Harry lioorstein, where k? lt ere you absent? was present in body but CAs she put down a nnething to re-mznd you. that anymore, George! that anymore! that any! that! do do do do do! --Si:i.i:e'ri':D Page Eighty-seven I EIHIUM HSTA HARRY: If a herring and a half costs a cent and a half, how much will two cost? FREDDIE: Two cents. HARRY: Wrong. Ten cents. FREDDIE: I-Iow come? HARRY: These are more expensive her- rings. All that shines is not serge. -SELECTED Dorothea Maddien on her job last Sum- mer. ' EMPLOYER: I wish you'd take a letter to Cohanigan and Co. DOROTHEA: What! Do I have to work, too? Sylvia and her boy friend were out driv- ing.hHe lgad one agmkaigugd her, when the car ita umpan si e. Oh, darling, gasped Sylvia, Use two hands. , i'Can't, said the boy-friend grimly, Gotta drive with one. Mxss GODFREY: What is the interest on S500 for one year at two per cent? Paul, pay attention. - K Losicx: For 2 per cent I'm not interested. Little Ellsworth is a funny And eccentric .little waif Swallowed all his s1ster's money And said, 'Tm playing safe. -SELECTED JUDGE: Has your husband been provid- ing for you, Mandy? MANDY! He ain't nothin' else, sir. He's gwine to get some new furniture providin' he gets the money: he's gwine to get the money, providin' he goes to work: he's gwine to work providin' the job suits him. Page Eighty-eight I never see sech a providin' man in all mah llfe. -SELECTED PAT: You're a poet and don't know it, your feet show it, they're Longfellows. MIKE: You're getting Whittier and Whittier every day. ' -SELECTED TEDDY: Aida, would you marry me? AIDA: Not while Lindbergh is still single. FIRST PIG: I never sausage heat. SECOND PIG: Yes, I'm nearly bacon. -SELECTED A Scotsman was engaged to a girl who suddenly grew very stout. He wished to break the engagement, but she couldn't get the ring off, so he had to marry her. -SELECTED Lindbergh, after all, is only a bust in the Hall of Fame. - -SELECTED At the counter: 'fGimme a Lettuce which. A lettuce which? Yeh, a lettuce sandwich, without the sand. -SELECTED Fond lovers follow nature, When Lilacs bloom in Spring. In tender nomenclature, They lilac anything. -SELECTED MERRIL: Why, you don't even know the difference between a Camel and a drome- dary. SHIRLEY: Humph! V D ar GREAsE-Poi Extra YANKEES RUN WILD il Grease-Pot Reporter Chats With Slotta Bologna Noted Philosopher Gives Interview To Our Own Mr. Huinagel I was ushered into the luxurious apart- ment of Mr. Bologna and was cordially greeted by no lesser person than Mr. Bologna himself. I was forced to wait a while until he finished his t'Pep Cno advt.D, and while I was waiting I noticed that he had a lovely view of the HL and just beneath his window were the cutest little garbage cans I' have ever seen. All in all, it was entrancing. But now he entered, still sucking the cream from his luxurious moustache. Of course, the first question I asked him was the usual How do you find New York? He replied that he didn't find it, but was riding through when he was ejected for taking flashlight pictures of the scenery from his berth. When asked if he was married, he replied no, that his face had always been that way. I next put a rather personal question to him, but knowing that hun- dreds, yea thousands of eager readers were waiting for his answer, he replied that he gargled with his mouth open. His favorite hobby is drilling holes in spaghetti, and, believe it or not, at the age of five he won the cast-iron life saver for reciting the Wreck of The Hesperus while bouncing Hsh balls on the railing of the Brooklyn Bridge. SPORTS FACULTY DOWNS VARSITY-106-104 W. N. Y. H. S. varsity fell before the mighty bats and threats of their faculty yesterday, in a very close and exciting game, by the score of 106-104. The stars of the game were Mr. Carrol who umped, as it seemed, for the faculty, and Mr. Eshle- man, the little Napoleon of Baseball, who from his catcher's position hurled forth epithets of history and so confused the batters that Mr. Phelps, the diminutive pitcher, held them to only 150 hits. LEAGUE 0fNATl0NS Brazil, Germany, United States and ltaly Get Excited During Course of Events D Today's meeting of the League resulted in some of the real goods Knot moonshinel. The seats were getting deueedly scarce and expensive and many of the countries who have seats in the bleachers are starting to getsore tthey should use Vaselineh and are asking for inside seats. They claim that they couldn't get a close view of the last big fight between the Italian 'tspaghetti Juggllersu and the French 'tsoup strainersu. Brazil especially says that speculators have the best seats and will only sell them to highbrows. Pres. G. Shoodknow of the League told the excited members to comb their whiskers and get some patience. He also challenged anyone to a game of pinocle in the ante room after the meeting but no one accepted. Rep. Ski of Russia and Rep. Mike of -Ireland got into a terrible mixup when Ski claimed that Mike called him yellow. Ski maintains that he is Red. To settle the argument all agreed that Rep. Mike had done a terrible wrong and should be severely reprimanded and chastised. The punishment, it is whispered through know- ing whiskers, will be most brutal and bar- baric. Rep. Mike will receive ten terrific taps on the wrist. We don't know how Rep. Mike will stand the shock of the terrific beating, but it is hoped that his health will not be permanently injured due to his chastisement. The Yanks , composed of such Puritans as Tony Lazzeri, Babe Ruth, and Dutch Gehrig, have asked for admission into the select circle. Argentine immediately offered them his seat. The Yanks, how- ever refused, fearing some form of treach- ery. After a thorough investigation it was found that there had been a terrible plot brewing against the Yanks in which Argen- tine was embroiled. The chair had only three legs and Argentine has been trying to get rid of that chair to two other customers, but think of selling a three-legged chair to Rep. Andy Cohen. It was added since the Yanks were good boys, that they will get a brand new chair right next to the teachers tslips, the reporter meant Presidenth where they will not be twiddling their five fingers in derision at the other good boys. Germany today claimed that she dis- covered her chair was an antique and de- manded a new one. It was an old plea Page Eiglzty-nine DAILY GREASE-POT for justice but who listens to that nowa- days? All in all, it was a terrifically exciting meeting and if the strain keeps up some- onels suspenders are bound to go sooner or later. RADIO Station WOP 2:01 Cooking advice-nVa1'ious ways of throwing pie. 2:59 Health Talk-t'Measles are catching tAsk Eleanorl, 3:29 Songs by the Three Tramps-'tHowie,'l Hairs, and 'tS0k. 5:02 Colgate Orchestra- Bubble Dance from Lux. 5:46 Swiss Yodelers-t'Oh Ain't Cheese Sweetf' 6:00 Time signals by Skoblow's wrist-watch. 6:01 Sears-Roebuch Shaving Boys-t'Shave Your Sorrows for Tomorrowf' 7:00 Bedtime stories t'?J-Fred Prussak. 7 30 Goldust Twins- Extracts from Kirk- man in 'A' Flat. HELPFUL HINTS BY AUNTIE DOOFINGLE Dear Auntie: Everytime I go out the boys flirt with me and call me t'Br0wn Eyes. I-Iow can I avoid this attraction? Ans. VVhenever you see a boy coming. begin to hiccough in A minor and he will pass immediately by. This never fails. Dear Auntie: Can you prescribe a cure for halitoses? Ans. Mix one ounce of strychnine with two ounces of arsenic and carbolic acid. I doubt if you will ever be troubled with it again. If this does not work try lockjaw. Dear Auntie: VVhy is it that blondes fall so much more easily than the others? Ans. There are probably many and various reasons, but the one that strikes me as most logical is that they are light- headed. UNCLE DUDLEY'S BEDTIME. STORY Once upon a time there was a boy taking history in a beautiful spot calledQW.N.Y, Now Tom, we'll call him Thomasina for short. decided that it was a waste of time to study, so he didn't. But no matter how little he studied he was always at the head of the class and the teacher was always saying, 'tMy boy, I'm proud of you, etc. Then when exams came at the end of the year, Tom, or rather Thomasiua. didn't study at all, but he carrie out at the head Page Ninety of his class and was graduated with honors. And now, children, if you believe that one, Uncle Dudley will tell you another tomorrow night. Heard Here and There As a little boy was heard to remark: That's no lady, that's my teacher. If it is true that high school is just a four-year loaf, are Sophomore half-baked loaves? Mr. Eshleman to Wvilliam Boesling: t'What's your first name, William? ' !! READ!! LIP E of RILEY BY HOWARD PALMER Eventually--Why Not Know? Wormproof Coffins Happiness in Every Box HUDSON The Street Walker Ran Two Years on Broadway And lsn't Tired Yet THE NEW Patclium Parachute Good to the Last Drop Patchum Parachute Co., Secacus, NJ. Submitted by - E. Merrill Leavitt F red Prussalc Harry Kortrey . 2 IH 4HUlWH i lE HST4 End Word ITH mingled feelings of joy and .sadness 'we turn from the .shining and guiding light of our Alma Mater to the outer Darkness. But four years have taught us to carry that light with us, have prepared us to become the leaders instead of the led. Therefore, when in later years success comes our fway, let us 'viefw again these few pleasant reminders of our first ad- 'uentures in life. sw fa ,QID5 .' ': -, AWZA, WSF ' '-' 5' X AMW A'Z : f R - . - - 1 ' N 9 I' - - ' u Q S , , - We S J r,r l ff-,N f-3 XG' 'ri g 5 4 x. . .HI N 1-X Q Tn: t 1 e X t . .X V, -51 N,,, ' I 1 1's 1 1 a Page Xzfnwly-our MEMORIAL HIGH SCHOOL DEDICATED MAY 30, 1928 Architect B. MAYER, J E., M WILLIA WEST NEW YORK, N. J. Auf Der Heide Agency FOUNDED 1900 443 Sixteenth St., West New York, N. GNWKD Surety BOI'1dS and IHSUYHHCC Of Every Kind I MOTOR VEHICLE AGENCY I Phones: Union 5: 8600: 8601 The First National Bank WEST NEW YORK ' NEW JERSEY f There is no Safer Place for Your Savings Than a National Bank I DANIEL P. CURRY ........... .............. ....... P r esident ALEXANDER F. SEUFERl..lNG . . . . . ...... .... V ice-President HENRY F. OTIS ............. .... V ice-President H. F. DEYERBERG .......... .... .............. C a shier DANIEL E. DAUME . .. ............. Assistant Cashier Oscar L. Auf der Heicle Henry F. Otis Anthony Buzzuffi Leo V. Roth Daniel P. Curry Alexander F. Seuferling Albert C. Eppinger A Thomas A. Lally Eugene L. Nlaupai ' Barnett Kooperman, lVl.D. CHAS. I-l. A. MULLER ARCHITECT INSPECTOR Q, ' DEPARTMENT of 'BUILDINGS F B. GILARDONI, INC. NASH CARS 322-26 ELEVENTH STREET WEST NE ORK, N. j. WEST NEW YORK BOARD OF COUNCIL E652 Mayor Councilman to as Town Clerk Asst. Town Clerk Tax Collector FRANK EF F ERT CHARLES DAUME WILLIAM BOSS WALTER BOQUIST JOHN SCHLEDER HARRY HEINZ WILBUR McGOWAN CHARLES SWENSEN LEO S. SWANWICK JAMES B. CORBETT COMPLIMENTS OF Irwin Rubenstein HOWELL BROS., INC. FURNITURE Liberal Charge Accounts THREE STORES Second and Grand Streets l3th St. and Bergenline Ave Hoboken, N. West New York, N. Phone: Hoboken I348 Phone: 'Union 3843 I29 Washington Street Hoboken, N. J. Phone: Hoboken 10290 Hall-Auf der Heide, Inc. Lincoln Motor Cars Exclusively THE LINCOLN PLEDGE To build the finest car it is possible to produce 4804 HUDSON BOULEVARD West New York, N. Phone:Lhnon 80l4 Town Eng Frank J. Oleri, C. CIVIL ENGINEER AND SURVEYOR 650 BERGENLINE AVE. West New York, N. J. ineer E. Wm. Boss, Inc. Real Estate and Insurance Plumbing and I-Ieating iii? 474 HUDSON AVE. fCor. 9th St., West New York, N. J. Auf Der Heide Contracting Co. 335,527 BUILDERS OF WEST NEW YORK MEMORIAL HIGH SCHOOL T l ph U 7779 HEATING AND VENTILATING SYSTEMS IN WEST NEW YORK MEMORIAL HIGH SCHOOL INSTALLED BY RICKER 8x KUEBLER 528-530 JEFFERSON ST. West New York, N. Phones: Pal. 4I00-4IOI CHARLES F. MAYER, Pres. GUSTAV BONIFACE., Treas. Scranton Coal Co. 441 Sixteenth St. West New York, N. J. QUALITY and SERVICE' Levenson, Comen 8: Levenson LAWYERS Steneck Trust Building 95 RIVER STREET Hoboken, N. Phones: Hoboken 6860-I-3042-3 Auf Der Heicle Building 443 Sixteenth Street WEST NEW YORK, N. J. Phones: Union 36l0--Palisade 7527 Phone: Union 682 Richa rd-Eclwarcl Horgan 8: Horgan Funeral Directors 669 Palisade Ave. West New York New Jersey Jersey Retail Credit Men's Asso. Incorporated 619-621 Bergenline Ave. WEST'NEW YORK, N. J. L. E. SERF Suite 5-6 A. J. DITTMAR PHARMACIST EST. IB95 774 Bergenline Ave., Cor. 22nd St. WEST NEW YORK, N. J. . AUG. SCHINDLER GROCER 769 Bergenline Ave. WEST NEW YORK, N. EDWARD O. BOQUIST oP1'oME'rR1sT Examination of the Eyes Exclusively Specializing in the Straightening of Cross Eyes and Ocular Muscle Development 441 Sxteenth Street WEST NEW YORK, N. J. Tel. Union BI64 Opposite Post Office w u W 4 015 eu ezr in n COMPANY Furniture, Carpets and Beclcling Maytag Aluminum Washing Machines i 640'41i'f2ffi'fffF ESZXENUE MHEW MN 1 Q 2 we N 4 PIANOS mm' PLAYER PIANOS i Sold directly from i the Factory Cash or Easy Terms X Send for , ' Art Catalogue Factory Showrooms Broadway and 20th St., West New York, N. J. Compliments of BILLY THE BUTCHER Expert Hairbohhing All Latest Styles La.Ifman's Barber Shops Expert Men's Hair Cutters 442 13th St. 444 17th St. West New York The Wauk-Rite Shoe Shop 561 BERGENLINE AVE. West New Yorlc, N. .l. Branch Store: 49 Bergenline Ave. ROYAL GARAGE Day and Night Service Cadillac Limousines For All Occasions 551-553 Sixteenth St. West New York AUTO REPAIRS A. BAXTER ROYAL GARAGE GET YOUR GIRLISH FIGURE BACK AT GOERKE'S CORSET SHOP WHERE FITTING IS AN ART Cuttenherg, N. 563 Bergenline Ave. W. N. Y. BOUND BROOK DAIRY Compliments of ff! Wholesale Retail BET. l4TH 61 ISTH STREETS WILST NEW YORK, N. Phone: Palisade 538 'N ':l:ll'l3GOOAA :pang puzg pue gs' Q -pg Avlviavoua 696 gggz uogun :auoqd paraqlaq put .nog panes uaparo ouow .uno aaguas pus Agglenb 'do-'J 'HEIDIIEIOI' 'V www IIIIOPOOAI alqellall PIO QLLL C. C. SHERWOOD, D.D.S. WOODCLIFF, N. J. A NAME TO GO BY MEHL'S PET SHOP Tested Bird Seed Breeder of Chopper and Roller CANARIES KA! 'G ' I nhagffd ,f, Canaries, Parrots, Goldfish, Dogs, Cats, and Supplies 426a BERGENLINE AVENUE Near Sixth Street WEST NEW YORK The New Jersey Title Guarantee and Trust Company Sixteenth Street WEST NEW YORK BRANCH Tel., Union I 46 I Thompson 8: Campbell Curtain Specialists Shades, Linoleum, Etc. 65l Bergenline Ave. West New York Compliments of The Surprise Store Phone: Union 3823 ' K. WENDEROTH Florist Cut Flowers and Designs for all Occas 447 Sixteenth St. West New York ions Compliments of F. W. WOOLWORTH CO. Compliments of M. J. BOYER, D.D.S. Compliments of MORRIS ROTHBERG, D.D.S l4th St., Cor. Bergenline Ave. Union 2 760 Wiebe Hardware Co. Hardware, Tools, Glass and House Furnishings 669 Bergenline Ave. W. N. Y., N. J Mark Li e's Milestones BIRTI-IDAYS, weddings, new babies-all of these are the milestones of Life which in after years will be most cherished memories. Let us keep this record for you in photographs, indelible markers along Life's pathway. IVIATERNE STUDIO 140 Forty-eighth St., Union City PHOTOGRAPHS LIVE FOREVER Where Your Credit Works Like Cash Kramer C9 Co. Clothing-Furniture-Radio jewelry Bergenline Ave. and 24th St. Union City, N. J. 'fir 404 Central Ave. 213 Newark Ave. Jersey City I'Igts. jersey City, N. For Good D. L. 8: W. COAL Phone BEHRENS BROS. Union 3 I 78-43 73 SPRING PRICES NOW IN EFFECT ShaveIson's Pharmacy Prescription Specialists Park Ave. Cor. I6th St., W. N. Y., N. J Telephone: Union 36l5 MEET IVIE AT THE FOUNTAIN B. M. C. PANTS CO. - 3 Stores - 673 Berg. Ave. 490 Central Ave. 904 Berg. Ave Opp. I7th St. Near South St. Near 45th St West New York jersey City Union City 1 D. MALZQNE PHONE, UNION I 464 I I Sport Shop BASEBALL and BASKETBALL UNIFORIVIS I OUTFITTERS for SCHOOLS AND CLUBS FOOTBALL and SOCCER UNIFORMS AND SUPPLIES I Bathing 540 TENTH STREET Suits West New York, N. J. STORE OPEN EVENINGS TILL 9 P. M. THE MONITOR TRUST COMPANY PARK AVENUE AT NINETEENTH STREET WEST NEW YORK, NEW JERSEY OFFICERS 1 WiIIiam C. I-Ieppenheimer ................ ........ P resident William C. I-Ieppenheimer, jr. ........... . .... Vice President 3 Edgar W. Roberts, IVI.D. .... . . . .... ............ V ice President Ralph Cu. Krieger ......... .- ................. Secretary and Treasurer Harry C. Decker ...... .... A ssistant Secretary and Assistant Treasurer DIRECTORS Edgar W. Roberts, IVI. D. Edmond Cl. Parentini William IVIayer, Jr. William C. Heppenheimer Charles IVIehIin William C. Heppenheimer, jr. Otto A. Griesbach Eric D. Seifert X Richard IVIiIIer Edwin H. Stratford Affiliated with THE TRUST COMPANY OF NEW JERSEY Resources over S70,000,000.00 Capital, Surplus and Undivided Profits over Sl0,000,000.00 M. 'WILSON G. ZERBST D. WILSON West New York Coal Co. Pockets, River Road and I6th Street Office, 584 Bergenline Avenue Phone, Union 7254 West New York, N. J. ee s one xc an e o ary Public nion 54 I 7 Established 1889 Eiubn Eluenk Qgencp REAL ESTATE, LOANS and INSURANCE Ocean Steamship Ticket Agency 136 Forty-eighth Street Next to Pastime Theatre UNION CITY, N. J. Barsitp Qilntbes AT SCHLESINGER'S Bergenline Ave. fCor. 14th SLD WEST NEW YORK Compliments of Women's Democratic Club, Inc. of W. N. Y. Compliments of Geo. Stelljes Confectioner of I-Iigh Quality Families, Parties and Clubs Supplied at Short Notice 583 Bergenline Avenue Opp. I4th St. West New York LOBEL'S KIDDY SHOP 599-601 Bergenline Avenue WEST NEW YORK, N. J. Edison Mazda Lamps New and Used Motors SPILGER FOR SERVICE Buy Your Radio Where You Will Get Service AUTHORIZED DEALER R C A CROSLEY PHILCO Radios and Accessories A RADIO FOR EVERY PURSE Time payments Arranged-Battery Chargers and Charging Tell Your Troubles to Our Radio Repair Department Open Evenings PETER SPILGER 434 l3th STREET, WEST NEW YORK CBasementJ fNear Bergenline Avenue, Telephones, Union 6116-7654 Electrical Equipment, Repairs and Supplies To an extensive line of Watches, We have added a complete line of Gruen. Watches that would be worthy guides to the Graduates on their road to a great future. L. J. RAD JEWELER West New York New Jersey Showing the most extensive line of better things in Jewelry in the County All correctly priced DUEEEBRUTHEES MUTIJR. VEHICLES Always a Safe Investment WSG? HENRY BROTHERS 4818 BOULEVARD WEST NEW YoRK, N. J. K After the Game or Dance? to VIEBRGCKS of Course Quality Ice Cream and Home- Made Candies Luncheonette 617 BERGENLINE AVENUE Bet. l5th and l6th Sta. West New York, N. J. Agency For Loft's Candy Tel. Union 37l4 West New York Florists H. FORGEITS Flowers for Every Occasion Cor. l8th St. 70l Bergenline Ave Phone, Union 2277 POZNER 8: PERKEL Successors to WM. ASH 8: CO. Wholesale and Retail Wall Paper and Paints 444 Eighteenth Street West New York, N. J. AFTER ALL lT'S BEST TO TRADE AT Benjamin's Rexall Drug Store 680 Bergenline Ave. bet. l7th 6: 18th Sts. West New York, N. J. QUALITY, CLEANLINESS 6: SERVICE Phones: Union U80--5021 Kohn's Household Store Linoleums, Carpets, Rugs 688 BERGENLINE AVENUE West New York, N. J. Phone, Palisade 2l64 Phone, Union l89O The B. V. Gundling Company Manufacturers and Dealers DOORS, SASH, TRIM, Etc. Special Mill Work Van Buren Place Bet. l7th and lBth Streets WEST NEW YORK, N. J. A. Sellitto Cianfrone P. Sellitto President Secretary Treasurer Telephone l997 Union WEST NEW YORK STONE WORKS Dealers in New York and Pennsylvania Blue Stone and lndiana Lime Stone Monumental 4I I-4I7 l2th Street Work West New York, N. l Compliments of W.N,Y. Teachers' Association O PLAYING TI-IE GAME WIN UR LOSE Consistent Playing Avoiding Fouls Brings Success THE SAME IN SAVING THE RIGHT HABIT AND STICKING TO IT WINS LEARN TO SAVE MONEY Open an account with the WOODCLIF F TRUST CO. North Bergen, N. SAVE EVERY DAY Compliments of RAY MCELWREATH NICK DOTTINO Supreme Meat Market 932 BROADWAY WOODCLIFF UNION 789l Compliments of Q SWANEE BLUEBIRD DANCE ORCHESTRA Phone, Union 6485 J. KERDASHA Ladies and Gents Tailor Cleaning, Pressing, Dyeing and Repairing at Reasonable Prices 949 BROADWAY Bet. 30th and 3 Ist Sta. Woodcliff, N. ,I Union 268 7 SCI-lUl..MAN'S Coats - Dresses - Sportwear 4008 Bergenline Ave., Union City, N. 399 Central Ave., jersey City, N. J. IO7 West Front St., Plainfield, N. J. Flowerphones: Union 668 7-486 7 VRANA FLORISTS, Inc. 880 BERGENLINE AVENUE UNION CITY, N. J. M b of Florists' Telegraph Deliv y A Furniture and Tires HEYMAN BROS. Cash-Credit 6 Big Sto Jersey City Union Hill Hackensa 780-82 BERGENLINE AVE., UNION CITY, N Tel Palisad 420-22l FRANK J. RICKER ARCHITECT 685 Hudson Avenue West New York, N. J. SCHOOL ARCHITECT OF THE TOWN OF WEST NEW YORK, N. J. Phone, Palisade I3 6 7 George Willaredt -Architect- lnspector of Plans Dept. of Buildings West New York, N. J. 4I l 23rd Street West New York Phone, Palisade 24 2 Compliments of Victor Laundry Service, lnc. 630 SEVENTEENTH STREET WEST NEW YORK, N. J. To High-School Graduates Whatever you plan to do after graduation--whether you plan or college or business-your mental development must con- tinue. Pace Institute is a distinctive private school of professional grade. Day and evening courses in Accountancy, Busi- ness Administration, and Secretarial Prac- tice, prepare high-school graduates for immediate eamings. Secretarial Practice includes a complete course in Shorthand and Typewriting for beginners. Many graduates who have acquired experience are now treasurers and controllers of large corporations - others are in successful Accountancy practice. Field trips to the oiiices and plants ofthe larg- est organizations in NewYork City are a unique characteristic ofthe work ofthe Institute The Registrar is always glad to confer with high- school graduates and their parents Pace Institute to 225 Broadway New York Phone, Union 92 75-J ARA S. BOYAN Concert Violinist and Teacher LUCY BOYAN Concert Pianist and Teacher 757 BERGENLINE AVE., W. N. Y., N. J. COMPLIMENTS OF J. SINGER DRUGGIST CTI-IE APPEAL of a Class Record lies in its power to review the activities of days gone by. Many are the friends made during school life, varied are the activities of the class, those, together with many other things, are not to be forgotten on graduation, rather are they to become a matter of permanent record. No Record is permanent unless its manufacture combines quality in materials with skill in work- manship. The finished book must be artistic in appearance. The format and appointments must be planned with a skill acquired by experience. We maintain a special department for this particular class of work-The responsibility is not divided as is usually the case-The Record being planned and produced entirely by our Craftsmen, beginning with the manufacture of the photo-engravings and continuing with the composition, printing and binding, until delivery of the finished product. ,.,, .lik D- it ig i I, Aifhjl M Wadi iimralltsiiitit INCORPORATED Where Federal crosses Nineteenth CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY NewYork0jice: Equitable Life Assurance Building, 393 Seventh Avenue 5 s E -fe f. 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