Medical College Hospital School of Nursing - Cap and Candle Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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WIT AND HUMCDR Superzfisor fo funior: Send a sterile specimen to the lab immediately. Junior: Yes, ma'am, do I boil it twenty or thirty minutes F Doctor fo probie while doing a dressing: May I have a probe ? Probie: Sorry doctor, but I am the only one on the floor. Probie to Senior: I wonder if a suppository tastes bad? Senior: XVhat made you think of that? They are not given by mouth. Probie: Heavens, the patient just swallowed it. A patient to nurse who just slicwed him: You should have been a barber, you did a very good job. Nurse: K'Thanks, that is the first job I have done.' Patient peacefully faints away. It takes a lot of patience Cpatientsj to run a hospital. Yes, remarked a young doctor to a colleague, the oper- ation was just in the nick of time. In another twenty-four hours the patient would have recovered without. Junior: Did you hear about Nicholas Longworth's death ? Senior: Oh! liVas he on your Hoor?', Patient: I rang and rang and rang, but no answer. NVell, I'll try again tomorrowf, Supervisor to Probie: VVill you please get a tray for Dr. Rodman ? Probie proceeds to call Diet Kitchen. jr? f+: Seifie. ' 1 i ' 2 be j 1-I -If K X ti .NN I , 51

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CAN YCDU IMAGINE Miss McCormick not having a kind word for everyone. Going to breakfast and not finding eggs. Maternity not owning an enema can. Finding a patient's bed in good condition in the A. M. Childrens' W'ard without colonic irrigations. Clinic without students. Maternity night nurse having enough safety pins. Miss Musselman ieing on time for a date. Miss Abbott not calling for mayoni ise. Miss McConnell not going to the shore. Miss Meals without earrings. Miss Milnor not being hungry. Niss Findler without a date. I' Liss Ahlstrom with bobbed hair. lXfiss Seif without a pencil in her hair. Miss VVeisman not taking a shower before breakfast. Miss Barton finding all the girls in their rooms at ten o'clock.. Fourth Hoor not being busy. Private floor without a nurses' infirmary. Childrens' NVard without Cod Liver Dil. Gperating Room without Catgut. A specially padded room for shaking down thermometers in case one drops. 50

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WIT AND HUMOR-Continued A boy, seven years old, was recovering from a serious oper- ation. Accompanied by his mother, he came to the Clinic for a dressing. XVhile waitirg his turn, he sat studying, The Execution of Une of The Early Kings, an immense picture across the hall. lVhen he asked his mother what execution meant, she plainly told him, Cutting off one's head. But, mother, they gave him gas, didn't they? Starspcmglitis-Xrays have been found helpful in the treat- ment of pneumonia, erysipelas, and inflammation of the patriotic gland. Patient: I believe I'm a little better, Doctor, but I'm still short of breath. Dr. Killyumz HI can stop that completely after a few more treatments. I hear that when jones was in the hospital, he had to have two nurses day and nightf' Yes, his wife wouldn' trust him alone with one. Nzzrsez Are you going to give my patient something to slow down his heart action 7 Doctor: Yes, an elderly nurse. Has your husband any hobbies ? asked a neighbor. No, said Mrs. Tuggle, he has rheimatiz a good deal, and hives now and then, but he ain't never had no hobbies. CLINIC C.-XPERS f 'Twas in the prime of wintertime, His ears they Swabbed, his throat A frosty eve and cool, they daubed, VVhen a fucldled guy with a joyful They pumped his gullet quick. cry They cut him apart around his heart Lurched into a Medical School. To see what made him tick. Twelve Doctors' hands like iron They scrapped his tongue and bands, probed a lung, Slapped him upon a slab, They snared his tonsils out. Took off his clothes, ethered his They whacked away on his nose, vertabrae, And began to probe and jab. And bled him for the gout. The luckless guy gave a mournful cry, just as his appendix they drilled, Sighed, This seems queer when I only came here, To get a prescription filled! 52