Mechanic Arts High School - M Yearbook (St Paul, MN)

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GGM99 PERCY DOES A BIT OF GOOD By NIARVIN KREIDBERG, 730 Mr. Horace Van Slyn was striding hither and yon about his office with all the gentleness and bonhomie of an emotional lioness who has been deprived of her cubs and her supper and is well aware of both grievances. The outer office, ab- solutely stuffed with clerks, stenographers, and the other whatnots that flit about in offices, radiated as cheerful and optimistic an air as must have been felt in the dens of Christian martyrs, just before the lions were fed. Into this atmosphere of joyous, light-hearted gayety bounced Percival Van Slyn. Not that Percy bounced in willingly. Percy could have mentioned at least half a dozen other places where he would have preferred to be. Percy, with no haste or eagerness, picked his way through the office and stopped at an imposing door, on whose frosted panel was engraved: H. Van Slyn Private Nerving himself, Percy grasped the knob, opened the door, and then dashed in -as far as the threshold. Percy was trying hard to remember that rummy thing the Roman gladiators used to recite just before they carved each other. Horace Van Slyn, when the door opened, pivoted around and roared, 6'Get in here, you fool! Percy got in. Various business opponents had, at diverse times, attempted to arouse Van Slyn's passions, they had called him names, bounced threats off him, and one in- genious gentleman had poured himself a drink of Van S1yn's choice liquor and had then poured the drink into Van Slyn's face. But Van Slyn had displayed no more passion than an iceberg in a haughty mood and the business chappies had gone off broken hearted. But Horace never saw his son, Percy, without coming dangerously close to a state of apoplexy. It would have done the hearts of the various business chappies an unestimable amount of good had they but seen Horace at the present instance. Manfully endeavoring to repress his choler, Horace lit a cigar and absently put the burning end into his mouth. Percy snickered delightedly, and then became solemnly solicitous. Why, demanded Horace after easing the interior of his mouth with a pitcher of water, did you have to exhibit your pugilistic proclivities in a public hotel? Well, exclaimed Percy, I reserved a table in the hotel-jolly little supper and all that-and the table was reserved and it wasn't reserved. What I mean, the head waiter laddie marked the table reserved, but this Lan- cey didn't see eye to eye with the head waiter, the blighter dashed well appropriated the table. When I popped in- With whom? demanded Van Slyn. With whom, oh yes, with whom, enlightened Percy dazedly, O, you want to know with whom I came, quite. Why, there were Reggie and some ladies, absolutely, Reggie and some ladies. Ladies? wondered Horace, Quite,', agreed Percy, hurrying on. HI said to this Lancey onion, 'Depart hencef He said no. Well, what was I to do? Matter of principle to stand up for one's rights, don,t you know. Look at Washington and these other chappies-abso- lutely abound in histories. Consider what the world thinks of them: heroes and all that. X Washington, pointed out Van Slyn, Ndid not go around hotel cafes striking gentlemen. Why, later in the evening, did you hurl buns at the other diners? Really, inquired Percy surprised, did I do that? But bun throwing proves that I was er-exuding exuberance and good spirits, and all that sort of thing? Page Eleven

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THE You didn't, interrupted Horace, Hexude good spirits, you drank them. I notice my private stock has been tampered with, and if I ever catch you at it, he brooded. . I assure you, word of honortand all that, Percy broke in shocked. We will not discuss that any longerf, G'Why,7, suddenly Horace flung his bomb, Hdonit you go to work? When I was your age I was working myself to the bone as a clerk in your grandfather's office. Awful, sympathized Percy, 'ibut really now you wouldn't like me to be like you. What I mean, sweat of the brow and all that sort of thing-J' Work, mused Van Slyn, might make something of youf, Impossible, insisted Percy. Oh, I don't know, you might become fairly valuable as an office boy. What I meant, said Percy with dignity, Hthat itis dashed well impossible for me to workf, Why, you worm, roared Van Slyn grasping a paper weight longingly, I'll- A rap on the outside of the frosted door miraculously caused Horace to eradi- cate the wrathful expression from his face. '4Come in, he invited. A long young man with teeth forthwith entered. Well, Bridds? Sir, I have not yet been able to secure those 500 shares of B 8i S oil. Some farmer from Running Horse, Iowa, Alcibiades Spectikson, has them and he refuses to sellf, What, wondered Van Slyn, ado I pay you money for? I will say that you eat well and sleep well, I suppose, and you certainly know enough to call for your pay check but when it comes to doing anything you have paralysis of the brain or something. I want those shares, and you get them. Go as high as necessary but get them. Where the devil are you going? demanded Horace of Percy who was trying to melt through the doorway noiselesslyg a worthy endeavor which met failure as Percy collided with a hat-rack. Awfully sorry and all that, apologized Percy, but I have an appointment, quite, an appointment, dinner appointment, in ten minutes. Toodle-doo,', and Percy dashed out. A taxi delivered Percy to the Quill and Pen Club, one of those informal in- stitutions whose members may be anything from Village Bohemians to members of the British aristocracy. At the club Percy gloomily ordered his lunch and was stowing it away rapidly when Reggie Rensaleer dozed in. Cheerio,', greeted Reggie repressing a yawn. Jolly good sight--watching you eat. Dashed silly to go to the circus. Percy's response, undoubtedly squelching, was somewhat indistinct perhaps be- cause Percy, at the moment, had seven fried potatoes and a sizeable bit of lamb in a process of mastication. All things must come to an end, though, and in time Percy announced morbidly, l've just been to the pater? uFilial affection and all that, or did you stick him in the ribs?,' wondered Reggie. He sent for me. No, not really? I should think the lad sees too much of you without calling for you. What did you dog pinch the family hat-pin or something? He wanted to know why I blotted that Lancey blighterf' ' Lancey, Remember I had a hazy idea that there was a mixup that night. Wasn't sure until I read about it in the morning papersf' Well, continued Percy, 'che says I should go to work. My Lord, not reallyf, shuddered Reggie horrified, feeling as if he had stepped through the elevator door on the sixteenth floor when the elevator was popping around elsewhere. 66 as 66 IG Page Twelve