McMinnville High School - McMinnvillan Yearbook (McMinnville, OR)

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Page twenty-four The Lincolnian, McMinnville High School OUR LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT In the year of our Lord, one thousand nine hundred and twenty-three, we, the Senior Class of the Lincoln High School of McMinnville, Oregon, do bequeath to the Junior Class our downstairs cloak rooms and our seats against the east wall of the assembly room. The K. K. K. leave their lofty and di unified air to the R. R. R’s. I, Razz Asbury leave my joke book to Johnny Baumgardner. I, Hubert Agee, leave to Ralph Macy my efficient methods for vamping the opposite sex. I, Finis Fitzmaurice, bequeath unto Harold Kenzler my Valentino hair-cut. I, Irene Cameron, leave my position as song leader to Clara Van Fossen. I, Esther Laughlin, do leave my winning ways to Kathleen Milton. I, Verda Sandstone, leave unto Florence Leaver my exhilarating Hee Haw. I, Almeda Wisnand, do leave unto Anita Odell my ability as a snake dancer. I, Julius Johnson, leave my little book entitled “The Down Trodden Male” to Phillip Holmes. I, Alice Schoenthal, leave my ability to be seen and not heard to Doris Johnson. I, Joy Laughlin, leave my political career to Budgy Wright. I, Louise Marsh,, leave my sarcastic wit to Ruby Russell. I, Helen Odell, leave my charming disposition to Gladys Petty. I, Ruth Miller, leave my career as a basket-tosser to Alice Booth. I, Doris Mardis, leave my Elmo to the Sophomore girls. I, Lamont Stone, do leave unto the first year French class my English translation of Monte Cristo. I, Claire Feely, leave my place on the bench to Cap Maloney. I, Phillip Carmichael, do willingly leave to Eddy Terry my schoolgirl complexion. I, Joseph Eigner, leave my nymph like figure to Carl Stow. I, Glen Konzelman, leave Thelma. I, Bertha Wakeman, do leave with Elsie Caldwell my society and social career. I, Ivan Merchant, leave my ability to shoot fouls to Skinny Agee. I, Floy Graves, do bequeath my vampish ways to Eva Horner. I, Fred Rothacker, leave my peppy disposition to Ersile Robbins. I, Allen Shirley, leave my notorious reputation on the track field to Burton Stone. I, Irene McKee, leave to Vera Dannals, my job as errand boy. I, Wynona Wood, leave my birdlike warble to Margret Thompson. I, Louese Wisecarver, leave my Newberg City Directory to Helen Hembree. I, Ruth Messinger, leave my artistic ability to Blanche Purdy. I, Lambert Miller, leave all my chemical concoctions to Herschel Bell. We, Bill Reburn and Freddy Ketch do leave our knowledge of scientific-research to the next chemistry class. Last but not least; we all leave to Buddy Fisher our knowledge of the English language. In Witness whereof we have set our hand and seal this tenth day of April in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and twenty three. Senior Class of '23.

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The Lincolnian, McMinnville High School Page twenty three SENIOR CLASS PROPHECY After living several years in Mars we decided to make a visit to McMinnville, our old home town. On June 21, 1935, our airplane landed in the busy metropolis. Descending from our machine we noticed a gathering on one of the street corners. It looked exciting so we decided to see what was causing the disturbance. Much to our surprise we found Louise Marsh, a famous soap-box orator, using her forceful vocabulary to sway the emotions of the people towards helping down trodden working girls. After she had finished, Glen Konzelman, her husband, sang a plaintive little ditty, which added greatly to the heart rendering scene. Our eyes filled with tears. Seeing a taxicab we decided to go out to the poor farm since we had heard that Allen Shirley and his wife, Ethel Heppner Shirley were keepers, and by their untiring efforts were brightening the lives of these unfortunate people. Upon our arrival we noticed Shorty Smith sitting on the porch, with an immense corncob pipe protruding from his mass of whiskers. He trembled with joy at the sight of us and hobbled ahead towards a shady part of the grounds where babbled a modest little brooklet. There, in an immense fern, sat Harold Lewis, saying over and over again to h'mself, “I am Moses in the bullrushes.” We went on into the house where we saw, warming their feet on the hearthstone, our old schoolmates Anna I rent, Joy Laughlin, Matt Van Lanen and Minnie Manning, cackling over an exciting game of checkers. In the corner sat Joe Eigner, relating episodes which had occurred during his schooldays at old Mac High. Some of those listening we recognized to be James Frisbie, Almeda Whisnand, Luville Jones and Frieda Yount. As we were leaving Horace stopped to tell us about many of our old friends. We were delighted to hear that Hump Agee and Violet Voltmer Agee were traveling with the Fishimoore circus, where Violet had become famous as a tight-rope walker. He also told us the pathetic story of the heart-broken old man, Razz Asbury, on account of his disaDpointments in love while in his youth. Doris Mardis, who in her younger days had been so active was now suffering greatly from lumbago in the back. We learned that Herbert Kimball, after having experienced many political victories and defeats, had at last been elected mayor of St. Joseph, and after waiting for many years now felt able to take upon himself a wife, Rema Smith being the lucky one. When we went back to town we met Finis Fitzmaurice with many books under his arm. He did not recognize us because he had become so old and discrepit from studying late into the night by lamplight. Upon our inquiry we were informed that he was taking Post Graduate work at the Fligh School. We went into a cafe where we noticed Eulalee Pnn on a table dancing with Verda Sandstone chording on a wheezy old accordion. This surprised us so it almost took our breath away, so we sat down to partake of some nourishment. Helen Odell came to wait on us. She was delighted at seeing us and insisted on telling us more about some of our friends of whom we had heard nothing as yet. La Monte Stone had become a multi-millionaire from his brewery on Peavine Ridge. His ex-wife, Wynona Wood, whom he had treated brutally, was taking in washing on Poverty Row. Floy Graves had invented a new way to tie shoe strings which did away with much wasted energy. Her husband, Charles Showalter, was exceedingly proud of his accomplished wife. Clair Feely had become the popular cornetist for all the country dances. We learned that Georgia Finley had recently been sent to Salem because she thought she was Sal Hepatica. As night began to fall Ruth said, “Louese, let us hasten back home to Mars, for you know we have an important basketball game with the all-star team from Jupiter tonight.”

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The Lincolnian, McMinnville High School Page lwenty-fi i The Juniors