McKinley Middle School - Mirror Yearbook (Cedar Rapids, IA)

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MeKINLEY MIRROR 31 PERCY HEAVYTHJINKER The eloek turned to ten. I dashed from the history room. On tho last step down the stairs I collided with someone. I stood up and looked through the spectacles of Percy Heavythinker. Algernon, said he, as he flicked a. thread from his tie, I shall chas- Lise you severely if I ever encounter you in such at way again. Resistiug the temptation to push a few of his teeth down his throat, I answered him: I shall report this to Miss Prescott, who is coming around yon pillar. I walked over to Miss Prescott. I iirml ' said Miss Prescott 'I :nn going to punch Percy. 5 J I I7 Miss Prescott in amazed tones gasped, Why, don't punch Percy! Percy is the best pupil we have! but I said, l'm going to punch Percy. Il. looked at Percy all dressed np, highly perfumed and bulging at the sides. 1 whispered, Hl,lll going to punch Percy. -James Glidden. English Teacher: NVhat is a. pronoun? Student: A pronoun stands for a. noun. English Teacher: Give an example? Student: Mary milked the cow. The cow stood for Mary, so it is a pronoun. Ever so often Mrs. 1i!lllll0llll catches a. humming bee in the library. They never sting her though. HYMN TO THE ONE-LEGGERS 'Praise them, all ye eherubiln, ll-:rise your voices, Seraphim! l-lere's to the one-loggers! Oh, the one-loggers are going strong, Leaning on their desks so long, ' O, their ambition is very high, To stand on one leg, while reciting, or diel , -Elizabeth Hess, 9-A. Marco Luis, 9-B. Why does :L spoon in a cup resemble a. beautiful girl? Because it is in-tea-resting. Alfred Swett: to :1 speetatorj as he enters the library, looking for his books, after work has begun- Hey! gimme my booksl MrsfBal.ll1eim: This is no delivery room. It's :L library. Alfred Swett: You want this to be a 'deef' and dumb school, do you? Mrs. Ballheim, calmly: There are surely some dumb ones here, and the Ii,br:.Lrian will be 'deef' if you go on. Miss Jackson: What! Forgotten your book again, Bob? What Would you think of a soldier without a gun? Bob: I'd think he was an officer.

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30 MQKINLE Y MLRH-OR POP GOES THE WEASEL SQUIRT-GUNS Zami Wow! Who done that? roars out llshxnael. 'fl' am shot- Silence. What rlo you think this is--your lJirtlu'la,y? comes a cheery voice from the front of the room, for look! there sits Miss Patiierson in her soft easy chair. I would send you to the office mul hzive von ox ellecl but bein 1' von're such a good customer, 1 will not. I Squirt-guns have become a great fad for hunting for the biggest nutmc-gs in the study hall. It gets them the first shot, for it always aims true, :md the different parts are cheap. Really, you get two things for one, for you buy :L . P 1 ln. u package of cheap five-cent gum and you get u, very fine squirtfgun free, for nothing, and lots besides. You take :L pick of being expelled from seliool, or fl-VILCfll7i0I1, for just five cents. Think of the great bargain! XVrigley's :Lnll squirts forever. -John Baker, 9-B. SCI-IOQLIN' 8:15 Arrivin'. 8:16 Huntin'. 8:20 Comparin '. 8 :29 1-Iushin '. 8:32 Excusin' or shot-puttin' to Miss Paiitursou's office. 8:33 Blulfini 9:30 Passin ', 9:35 Sharpeuin'. 10:40 HTl'fl1lSgl'CSSill, . 12:00 Chewin '. . 12:15-12.45 Re:u1in', langhin'. 12:50 Visitin '. 1:00 Driukin '. 1:15 Watqhin '. 2:30 Guessini 3 :55 Speodin '. Robert Burkheimer: Name the four seasons. Jerry Didek: Salt, l!'lllSt:ll'I'l, vinegar and pepper. Wilma, Van Bogart: I'vc forgotten thc worcl 'for curry onf' Miss Jackson: Gessit. Xvillflfll I've been trying to for the last fifteen minutes. ll!! why nm I? Mliss Redmond: Use a sentence containing the pronoun Jimmie WVhipple: Who is tho smartest boy in sehool and Margaret Ulch: Miss, Nelson is engaged. Cullen Pealz Oh, honest? Margaret: 'Sure, by the school board. FUNNIEBT THING IN McKINLEY-YOU

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32 :M:CIfINrL'E-Y MIRROR Miss La Vell: lVhere is lime-stone found? James Munger: My book says it is found in abundance. . Miss Crager, the school nurse: Tom, you seem to laugh more easily this morning. Toni: I ought to. 1've been practicing all night. Mrs. Beitzoll: John Holbrook, who discovered the Mississippi River? Johnnie: I don't know. Mrs. B.: My stars! What do you know? Tell me what three words l hear most in one day. V Johnnie: I don't. know. Mrs. B.: Corrcet. Miss Jackson: Get ready for a test. Edwin Novak: Should we use pen or ink? You never miss the ink till thc pen runs dry. Don't get historical. The lire truck went hy-Rubber-neck. La Verna I-Iibbs: What is the only thing :1 horse is afraid of now-an days? Minnie Rushek: Another horse, of course. No McKinley Teacher said to Johnnie: I :un beautiful What tense is that in 'V' Johnny: It must be in the past. Miss Dixon fas she was dictating note-book work to the elassj: Set the knives on the right side of your plate,-and put your guna in the waste paper basket. ' ' Gladys Cputting her guru in the basketj: ln which basket shall we put our spoons 'ln Miss Cowden: Name three kinds of bo11es.', Theodore Vesely: 1-Iuinan bones, animal bones, and tronrbonesf' Miss La Vell: What is the shape of the world? Lena Bott: My father says it is in rather bad shape. Two-inrone-Ish and Book-Ahern! Anybody who clings like a postage stamp till he gets there, gets there. M1's. B.: Sit down! APPLE SAUCE