McKinley High School - President Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

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T11 E AHTISAN 115 Friend-What are you running for? Runner-There's a circus in town and a lion broke loose. Which way'd he go? Well, you don't suppose I'm chasin' him, do you? -Life. Mr. Beam Cteaching Sunday schoolj- Then all the people fell down before the king. What does that show? The Kid- Dat de king could stand his liquor better'n any of dem. NO HOME NEEDED Real Estate Agent Qtrying to interest a fair flapper in a homej- Buy a home. Flapper- Buy a home? I should say not-haven't any use for one. You see, I was born in a hospital, educated in a college, courted in an automobile, mar- ried in a churchg we live out of a paper bag, I spend my mornings playing golf, the afternoons playing bridge, in the evening we dance or go to a movie, and when I die I am going to be buried from the undertaker's. What I need is a gar- age with a bedroom above. Captain- Why are you scratching your head so much, Rastus? Rastus- Sah, I'se got dese here arith- metic bugs. Captain- What are arithmetic bugs? Rastus- Dey's cootiesf' Captain- Why do you call them arith- metic bugs? Rastus- Because, sah, dey done add to mah misery, den substract from mah pleasure, dey done divide my attenshun, and dey multiplies like de dickensf' IT WAS THE ONLY COW HE EVER KNEW. A city boy scout was roaming about Toad Hollow when he came upon a dozen or so empty condensed milk cans. Great- tly excited he called to his scout master: lVIr. Thornton, come here quick! I found a cow's nest. ADVERTISE IN THE ARTISAN! The peacock spreads his tail and squawks, Pigs squeal and robins sing, And even serpents know enough To hiss before they sting. A hen is not supposed to have Much common sense or tact, Yet every time she lays an egg She cackles forth the fact. As he said when he had Mr. Staubitz' head under the water, I've fGotschJ ya now. ' When a woodpecker works on a piece of wood, does he QI-Iackettj or does he fPeckJ it? THESE LAVVYERS. An old law iirm had been doing busi- ness for over fifty years. After a time only one of the partners was left who took his son into the business soon after he had been admitted to the bar. On the first day he gave to his son an estate to settle which had been hanging Hre for twenty years. That night the father in- quired of his son how he had made out. The son replied that the case had been settled in less than two hours. The father fiew into a rage. You fool, said he, that case has been paying our oliice rent for the last twenty years. Mr. Harsch says that a woman's af- fection is as Hippant as a grapefruit's squirt. We understand what is meant by wraths of war but we do not understand Kamprath. We are wondering how it would sound to have Mr. Harsch and Mr. Sharp sing a duet. If Mr. Nachtrieb were talking to his wife instead of to us in assembly, would he be so fWitteJ? We know that our pair of fKingsJ is hard to beat but what could it have been when there were three of a kind? lVhat are we supposed to put into a fThursackJ ? Should Mr .Beam's little son be called a Sunbeam? If a dog chased a cat, would she f.A1'Cl161'J back? They certainly have good use for a fMaulJ in the Pattern Shop. Mr. Nachtrieb says that Mr. Massic is his closest friend. Can you guess why? These foreign students have nothing on us. Some of our boys are going to fEnglundJ for a course of study. Do you think that a fRoseJ would grow on a CRoudenbushl and if it did would it have enough thorns to make a fThorntonJ ? As his fArmsdenl went around her she said, I just fDotenl you. EFFICIENCY Some people wash their faces, . Each morning in the sink, I use a drinking fountain And do it while I drink.

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1 1 1 ..1n1 1n1m:.,1.. HU o41--::c-- 1 1 --- OR an 1 11 1 1 1 1 1 1o1.,1n1 1 11.1o1,1-194i::sei:i:i:::i 1:1010 Cutie Kurlz- I'1n telling you for the last time you can't kiss me. Walter Holleder- Ah, I knew you would weaken eventually. DETOUR! It Was a dark night. The motorist had wandered over several unknown roads until he was completely lost. Presently he saw a guide post with a sign at the top. Climbing the post with a great deal of difficulty, he read the sign. It said: We paint. A PLUMBERKS TRIBUTE Your cheeks are like enamel On a shining kitchen sink, And your hair is like the oakum That I use to-fill a chink. All joking aside, these intelligence tests really do indicate those who have brains. Those who have don't take them. To a man who has had three wives there is no such thing as a safe and sane fourth. John Golde-I always sleep with my gloves on. That is Why my hands are so soft. Mr. Massie-Hin-I suppose you sleep with your hat on, also. Mr. Jones-Can you, make good bread, darling? Mrs. J.-Yes, if you will furnish the dough in the hour of knead. Mr. Koch-I hear that your wife has a big mouth. Mr. Collins-Why. who told you? Mr. Koch-The other day the dentist said that he would have to put a bridge in her mouth. Mr. Thursack fto the new studentl- What's your name? Gerard Lang-Same as my father's. Mr. Thursack-VVell, what's your father's name? Gerard Lang-The same as mine. Mr. Thursack-Then what are both your names? Gerard-Sure, they're both alike. Mr. Hull- A fellow just told me I looked like you. Mr. Borth- Where is he? I'd like to knock his block off. Mr. Hull- He's dead, I killed him. VVI-IAT'S WRONG WITH THIS STORY It was his tenth anniversary. He noticed that the table was unusually well arranged and that there were iiowers on it. His wife was wearing her best gown. There was a general air of festivity about the house, But he didn't tum- ble. He had forgotten all about the fact that it was their anniversary. All even- ing they read and talked about various things. At last his wife said, John, it's our tenth anniversary. John looked up from his paper and said. So it is, so it is, then went back to his paper. And that was all his wife said. Captain- If anything moves, shoot. Sentry- Yessah3 an' if anything shoots, ah moves. THE POLITICIAN'S DAILY DOZEN Striking at attitude. Hurling an invective. Launching a probe. Smashing a precedent. Countering a charge. Lifting a ban. Nailing a lie. Sidestepping an issue. Branding a traitor. Bolstering a cause. Clamping a lid. Passing the buck. -Life. A DARK CHAPTER A boy had been absent from school for some time, and on his return the history teacher asked: When were you here last, Johnnie? When we murdered Edward II, sir, came the reply.-Life. A PEDESTRIAN VOCABULARY Fizz-VVe were sailing along- Fuzz-In a boat? Fizz-No, walkingg-when Susie came flying around the corner- Fuzz-In an airplane? Fizz-No, walkingg-and she said that a man was rolling along towards us- Fuzz-In an automobile? Fizz-No, walkingg-so we all began to trot along- Fuzz-On 'horse back? Fizz-No. walkingg -but when we came in sight of the house, we stopped- Fuzz-Walking? Fizz-No, perambulatingl

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