Maynard High School - Screech Owl Yearbook (Maynard, MA)

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THE SCREECH OWL 31 “WOULDN’T IT BE TOO BAD” If Jakie were Hits instead of Swatz. If Annie were Black instead of White. If Deane were Minister instead of Priest. If Edith were Ireland instead of France. If Julia were Hang instead of Lynch. If Howard were Knitting instead of Weaving. If Catherine were Sneezelin instead of Coughlin. If Pileeki were Loser instead of Victor. If Ellen were Duckson instead of Swanson. If Alden were Old instead of Young. Edith R. France, ’31. w. o. o. Whose Lips Cannot Smile I’ve stood quite enough of your torture, I’m not going to stand any more, I’d like to put forward this thought : your Behavior has gotten me sore. Whenever you’ve said you would want me I’ve been at your side right on time. You pick on me always and taunt me, Though none is more faithful than I’m. You gaze on my pictures you’ve taken And treasure them fondly, I know; But soon you will find you’re for- saken. You’ll see me no more when I go. This mouth that I once thought of giving To you I am taking away. The dull grind with you’s not worth living, I’d much rather slowly decay. I’d much rather get some enjoyment From life which is painful at best — Dentist, listen, your term of employ- ment Is finished. My mouth needs a rest. THE DAILY GAWKIES MONDAY LADIES’ MAN Starring Thomas Lannigan TUESDAY GIRLS DEMAND EXCITEMENT with Catherine Coughlan Jeannette Gruber Dorothy Marsden Eleanor Lawson Helen Scerzen Elma jokela Directed by R. P. Sawyer WE DNESDAY SULO HINTSA in LITTLE CAESAR also Dennis Farnell Deane Priest in THE LEATHER PUSHERS THURSDAY Mark Newton Arvo Hankala “Stub” Staple Stanley Sokolowski in ASSORTED NUTS FRIDAY GOING WILD with Aili Hermanson Eero Wirkanen Added Attraction Prof. Robert Hartin Will Conduct an Experiment on “STEAM” SATURDAY VAUDEVILLE “MIKE” ZAPORESKIAN and his WEST END YANKEES With the Dancing Midgets Ellie Lawson — Peg Murray Dancing in Lobby — 8- 1 1 SUNDAY MEN ON CALL All-Star Cast Mary Hanna Mary Downey Laura Alberi Esther Elson Dorothy Burnham

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The Wise Old Owl would Mke to know : 1. How long “Gutsy” has had the liking for chorus girls. 2. Why Jim Mullin sat on the church steps the night of the Junior sleigh ride? 8. Why the Seniors are in such a rush to pay their class dues? 4. If “Simmie” Seder really likes “Lillies” ? 5. If Joe Baccaro ever misses a dance. 6. If Bernard Dawson reads “War Stories” in every class. 7. If “Glicky” could lick Mullin. (With his tongue.) 8. Why a post office isn ’t installed in M. H. S. so the students won’t have to go out of their way to deliver their notes? 9. If Elinor Glyn ever met Ellen Swanson ? 10. If “Hank” is following the foot- steps of “Pie”? 11. If Mr. Lerer has to “count noses” on his hiking trips ? 12. Why “Red” Lanigan is so cold? 18. If “Glicky” and “Tinker” listened to the recent talk on “Safety” ? 14. What happened to all the German hair cuts? 15. If Cecelia Nelson has, as yet, found a cure for “insomonia”. 16. How low the treasury of the A.A. is? 17. Who said that M. H. S. is “The House of a Thousand Thrills?” 18. What Juniors would rather walk than ride on a sleigh ride? 19. If anyone knows whether Sidney McCleary is really sophisticated or not? 20. If Tonnuzzo ever gets hoarse from talking? 21. If a certain senior girl “made”’ the photographer? 22. If “Kate” Coughlan believes in “safety in numbers?” One of our fair students may never get as far as having her name in elec- tric lights on Broadway, but at least she has started by having her initials on every light post in town. Of all the tales we’ve heard of absent-mindedness, we’ve yet to hear of the absent-minded carpenter who hit a hammer with his thumb. After careful thought and due con- sideration the Wise Old Owl has selected as: Best Boy Dancer Joe Baccarro Best Girl Dancer. Isabelle Donahue Most Silent Boy Tonnuzzo Most Silent Girl Peg Johnston Most Punctual Donat Gagne School Flapper. Mary Hanna School Sheik “Tony” Smalski Most Industrious “Soko” Typical “Frosh” Robert Hartin Typical Senior Lillian Sullivan Star Football Player Dennis Farnell Most Forward Barbara Stockbridge

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“What is salt?” “Salt is that which causes potatoes to taste not so nice when there’s none on them.” Mrs. Harris (seeing sky-writing for first time) : “Say, Mrs. Higgins, what’s that?” Mrs. Higgins: “I donno, unless it be some of that wireless caught fire.” Student (writing home) : “How do you spell ‘financially’?” Other: “F-I-N-A-N-C-I-A-L-L-Y, and there’s two R’s in embarrassed.” City (pointing to haystack) : “What kind of a house is that?” Country: “That isn’t a house, that’s a haystack?” City: “Say, you can’t fool me. Hay don’t grow in a bunch like that.” Jack: “See this stickpin? Well, it once belonged to a millionaire !” Dick: “And who is the millionaire?” Jack: “Woolworth.” Compliments of “We” Soko: “My hair is full of electric- ity.” Barber: “Well, it’s connected to a dry cell.” “What is that bump on your fore- head?” “Oh, that’s only where a thought struck me.” “Willie,” said his mother, “I wish you would run across the street and see how old Mrs. Brown is this morn- ing.” A few minutes later Willie returned and reported: “Mrs. Brown says it’s none of your business how old she is.” Lady (at a baseball game, watching Frigard pitch) : “Isn’t he a fine pit- cher? He always hits their bats no matter where they hold them.” Foot : “Oh, look, the players are all covered with mud. How do you think they will get it off ?” Ball: “What do you think the scrub team is for?” Mary: “Roseleen, how are you com- ing along with your Greek ?” Roseleen: “I’ll have you under- stand my boy friend’s name is Bisco.” “Do you believe in Clubs?” “Yes, clubs, sandbags or anything else that comes in handy.” Tenderfoot (asking ninety-eighth question) : “Is a vessel a boat?” First Class (trying to study) : “Well, yes, you might call a vessel a boat.” Tenderfoot: “Then what kind of a vessel is a blood vessel?” First Class : “A life boat, of course, now get out of here.”