Maynard High School - Screech Owl Yearbook (Maynard, MA)

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The Wise Old Owl Would Like to Know: 1. With whom Louise went walking during vacation. 2. If Howie King ever uses his lunch box. 3. If Phil Wilson knows his way to Fletcher Corner and back yet. 4. Who the three musketeers are who took Lorraine home one eve- ning. 5. What happened to Garland ' s satin breeches the night of “Pinafore . 6. If Miss Sheldrick ever practiced her stage exit in the Senior Play. 7. If “Micky” Newton and “Rowly” Dawson like Valentine Parties? (And why!!!!!!) 8. If Garland had a “ripping” good time on the sleigh party. 9. If Taimi Nyland had a good time at the Stow Prom. 10. Where Kelley got his material for the debate on “Prohibition.” Mis-Information Bureau Best-looking Boy — Daniel Meloro. Best-looking Girl — Laura Aho. Most Gullible — Mr. Gifford. Most Punctual — Edward Hannon. Teacher ' s Pet — Stanley Sokolowski. School Vampire — Wieno Sneck. School Clown — Harold Ledgard. Most Studious — Mark Newton. Most Pleasing — James Duggan. Most Diligent — Ahti Frigard. Most Polite — John Horan. Best Football Player — Francis Keir- stead. School Shiek — Sulo Hintsa. Best Chauffeur — Donat Gagne. Most Bashful Freshman — Millard Swett. Bolonius, ' 30. Advice to the Love-lorn Beatrice Barefax “Dear Miss Barefax: I have recently had a falling out with my girl. Shall I be the one to make up? N. N.” Ans. No; a woman is more profi- cient in cosmetics. “Dear Miss Barefax: I wish to marry a man of high po- sition. Where can I find one? Helen M.” Ans. Call Kenmore 9000 for a flag- pole sitter. “Dear Miss Barefax: My boy friend will be released from Charlestown prison in two weeks. He wants to marry me then. Shall I con- sent? Julia L.” Ans. No ; let him enjoy his freedom for a while. “Dear Miss Barefax: Shall I marry when the golden op- portunity affords? Sam G.” Ans. Depends on the gold in the opportunity.

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28 THE SCREECH OWL ‘‘The Distaff”, Girls High School, Boston, Mass. We enjoyed your stories and prize essay. May we suggest a few more jokes to increase the humor? “The Cony Cue”, Cony High School, Augusta, Maine. Congratulations on a remarkable paper. Your joke and poem depart- ments are well arranged, and the cuts make your paper exceptionally attrac- tive. “Enterprise”, Memorial High School, Boston, Mass. Congratulations on your inter esting short stories! Your paper is well de- veloped. May we suggest a few more jokes for improvement? “Reflector”, North Kingston High School, Wickford, R. I. The “Reflector” is a well organized paper. The cuts in it make it very at- tractive. Keep up the good work! The Screech Owl gratefully ac- knowledges the receipt of other papers that we have received this year: The “Blue Moon”, Chelmsford High School, Chelmsford, Mass. “Port Light”, Phineas Banning High School, Wilmington, California. “Golden Rod”, Quincy High School, Quincy, Mass. “The Observer”, Ansonia High School, Ansonia, Conn. “The Noddler”, East Boston High, East Boston, Mass. “The Oriel”, Westboro High School, Westboro, Mass. “The Owl”, Middletown High School, Middletown, N. Y. “The Academy Student”, St. Johns- bury, Vermont. “The Parrot”, Rockland High School, Rockland, Mass. Humor from the Exchanges Eleanor Dean: “What did mother skunk say to baby skunk when they came upon a dog?” Betty Sturgis: “What did she say?” Eleanor Dean: “Let us spray (let us pray).” Next came the Freshman who blushed everytime he saw a table leg. Miss Brock: “When Jonah was swallowed by the whale what did the whale say?” T. Libby: “HI bite.” Ruth: “Why was there no card playing on the ark?” Ruth: “Because Noah sat on the deck.” Delia: “Why is a man like tooth paste ?” Lorraine: “Because you have to squeeze him to get anything out of him.” “Eavesdropping again,” said Adam as his playmate fell out of the apple tree. “Mother, was your name Pullman before you married Daddy?” asked little Jack. “No, dear,” replied the mother, “what makes you think so?” “Well, I just wondered. I saw that name on most of our towels.” A professor of math calls 8781 on the phone: “Give me five multiplied by two, add two, divide by four; seven; the square of four, halved; take one eighth of latter answer ; and make it snappy.” He: “I’ve had this car for five years and never had a wreck.” She: “You mean you’ve had this wreck for years and never had a car.”

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30 THE SCREECH OWL “Dear Miss Barefax: I do not believe in modernism. When my boy friend offers me a Camel, what shall I do? Katie B.” Ans. Be nonchalant — smoke a Murad. “Dear Miss Barefax: I used to live at Old Orchard and had many sailor boy friends. Now, since I have moved I feel so lonely. Am I love sick? Connie.” Ans. No; sea-sick! They laughed at me as I approached the piano. But, I was determined to show them. I gave the piano stool a quarter-turn. Then I pushed it aside. I stared the piano up and down. Still they laughed at me. But, I was calm. Suddenly the harsh sounds of splint- ering wood filled the room. I had lost my senses. I had gotten my corres- pondence course instructions on “Muscle Building in Your Home,” mixed with “Play the Most Difficult Piano Music, in a Month, With Our Easy Course.” J. Bellows, ’30. Denis and Bradford went fishing one day. They went up river quite a way. They struck a good spot and anchored the boat. After catching a good string of sun-fish they decided to leave. Bradford thought it was a good spot so he said to Denis: “Gee, this is a good place. You’d better mark it so we can come here again.” They pulled up anchor and when they got near the shore Bradford said: “Of course you marked it when I told you.” “Yes,” replied Denis, “I put a cross on the side of the boat.” “You fool!” shouted Bradford, “How do you know we’ll get the same boat tomorrow?” The Wise Old Owl has, after seeing the way the students have suffered for the last four years, decided t o have money appropriated for the fol- lowing improvements in the high school : 1. Running hot water. 2. Smoking rooms for those who cannot wait. 3. Rest rooms for those who take Physical Education. 4. Softer mats under the parallel bars. 5. Escalators from the first to the second floor. 6. Some robots to clean up after the Chemistry class. 7. More interesting books for the library. 8. A book of etiquette for ready reference. 9. A good watch to be loaned to Albert Foster for the rest of the school year. 10. Inkwells that won’t spill. Harold Wilcox, ’30. Books Dedicated to “Prince and Pauper” Walker and “Jakie” “The Golden Fleece” Red Lanigan “Smokey, the Cowhorse” Charlie Chandler “A Man for the Ages” Horan “Les Miserables” The Trig. Class “The Great Impersonation” Wilho Frigard “The Perfect Gentleman” Nicky Meloro “Vanity Fair” Ruth Broadbent “Three Musbeteers” Gillie, George, and Philip “Three Minutes to Go” Albert Foster “The Wicked Angel” Catherine Coughlan “The Light that Failed” Harold Wilcox “Wings” A. Young “The Art of Thinking” Mark Newton ‘The Card Board Lover” Mike Zaporeski ‘La Chute” Sula Hintsa ‘All Aboard” Donat Gagne olonius, ’30. H. Lerer, ’30.