Maynard High School - Screech Owl Yearbook (Maynard, MA)

Text from Pages 1 - 42 of the 1930 volume:

COMPLIMENTS OF A. S. CROWE Sport Shoes $2.95 to $5.00 KEDS Ladies’ and Gents’ $1.00 $1.50 $2.00 Hairdresser 0 W.B. Case Sons COMPLIMENTS OF RIALTO THEATRE Compliments of Murphy Snyder PRINTERS OF “THE SCREECH OWL” 74 Main Street Telephone 473-3 Maynard, Mass. When patronizing our advertisers, please mention “THE SCREECH OWL” JACKSON’S It will pay you to watch our windows often to see some real snappy styles in serviceable foot wear and reasonable priced WOMEN’S NOVELTIES All Heels and Sizes — Reg. Value $4 - $5 - $6 One Price $2.95 WOMEN’S and GIRLS’ SPORT OXFORDS Either Crepe, Rubber or Leather Soles Regular $4 - $5 Value One Price, $2.95 YOUNG MEN’S ALL LEATHER OXFORDS Black or Tan In wide and narrow lasts Regular $5, $6, $7 Value One Price $3.95 BOYS’ ALL LEATHER OXFORDS $2.95 JACKSON’S SHOE STORE 95 Main Street Maynard RICKLES’SHOE STORE FIRST IN STYLE All the New Colors to Harmonize With Your Spring Clothes Beautiful Crepe Sole Oxfords Many of Our Lovely Shoes As Low as $2.98 More Expensive Ones for Those Who Want Them United Co-operative Society OF MAYNARD DISTRIBUTORS OF MILK— FOOD PRODUCTS— COAL Telephone 540 56-62 MAIN STREET MAYNARD, MASS. When patronizing our advertisers, please mention “THE SCREECH OWL” COMPLIMENTS OF NOVELTY JEWELRY FOR EASTER E. W. D. and J. H. S. ▼ F. G. STAMMERS 93 Main Street WATCH REPAIRING A SPECIALTY Fortunes and learning are both founded on the instalment plan — a little at a time with persistent accumulation. The Co-operative Bank plan of savings is the best plan yet devised for building up an estate, — regular monthly savings. Interview the Co-operative Bank man and he’ll tell you the story of saving by this plan — one dollar to forty dollars a month. We have paid 5 V 2 °Jo interest for the last 15 years. HUDSON CO-OPERATIVE BANK 12 POPE STREET MAYNARD BRANCH: F. E. SANDERSON, 6 Nason Street JULIUS BEN EVERYTHING FOR THE HOME MAIN STREET MAYNARD, MASS. When patronizing our advertisers, please mention “THE SCREECH OWL 5 ' Compliments of DR, R. E. HOOPER QUICK AND CAREFUL SERVICE BOSTON TAILOR Cleanser and Dyer Phone 8415 38 Main Street Maynard G) Q) c) MAYNARD, MASS. MURPHY MARTIN TYDOL GAS STATION Gas, Oils, Greases Auto Accessories 1 Powdermill Road Maynard When patronizing our advertisers, please mention 4 THE SCR EE CH OWL’ Compliments of DR. C. L. KING O e) A bank account is like an um- brella, you have to keep it up to get the most benefit. Start an account today. Keep it up and you won’t have to worry about a rainy day. MAYNARD TRUST CO. MAYNARD, MASS. When patronizing our advertisers, please mention “THE SCREECH OWL” THE SCREECH OWL Published by the Pupils of Maynard High School MAYNARD, MASS., MARCH, 1930 Editor Assistant Editor Business Manager Assistant Business Manager.. Circulation Managers Art Editor ... STAFF Mark Kelley .Wieno Sneck Walter Bray den Raymond Paul Reino Grondahl, Simmon Seder ... .._...._...,X eona Dudzinski Literary Salme Wirkkanen Catherine Coughlan Ethel Elson Alumni Harold Lerer William Ledgard Sirkka Hurme Ruth Weir Exchange Winifred Tobin Activities Alice Fearns Athletics Wilho Frigard Jokes Doris Dawson Philip Wilson Faculty Advisor Vena B. Field TABLE OF CONTENTS Editorials Literary Department Alumni Notes Athletics “On The Spot” Exchanges “The Wise Old Owl” “Pickings” PRICE PER COPY, 25 CENTS Page 7 9 19 20 25 27 29 32 Seirtratinn To Miss Agnes Walsh and Mr. A. R. C. Cole , former teach- ers in Maynard High School and the founders of this magazine f ive respectfully dedicate our anniver- sary edition. 6 52! KS 8?fZ A. R. C. COLE S 2i (Stt (D gyR (2 fS gyfZ OUR ANNIVERSARY Why have anniversaries? What is their purpose ? Why do we utilize this edition of the Screech Owl for the celebration of an anniversary? An anniversary is the annual commemo- ration of an important event. Three years ago, this time, the first publi- cation of the Screech Owl was edited. Certainly that was an important step in the welfare of the school. Accord- ingly, the founding of this paper should be commemorated with most sincere celebration, and all due re- spect and esteem should be given to those influential in its establishment. We must not forget the first supreme efforts nor the numerous difficulties which had to be overcome ; and in do- ing this, by keeping their purpose in mind, we cannot help but carry on the work which they began. Editor. ATHLETICS After four years of hard but pleas- ant work, Maynard High has pro- duced a pennant-winning athletic team. Looking back, one sees the Maynard High School representatives on the gridiron, court, and diamond always striving to reach the top and winning that coveted title, ' ‘Cham- pions of the Midland League ’ Many years in all the sports they have been within one game of gaining that much sought title ; time and time again they have failed because of their lack of “punch” in that decisive game. But now it has changed; the Maynard High Basketball Team has reached the top of the ladder, having won the Midland League pennant which it so richly deserves. Let us then acknowledge the great victory and place honor where honor is due. W. Brayden, ’30. DISCOURAGED? DON’T BE ! At this time of the scholastic year, one has the feeling that he has fallen in his studies, his ambition, and his activities in general. His marks seem low, everything is dark and dreary. Discouragement creeps slowly into the spirits, depriving us of our con- fidence. But don’t be discouraged ! The secret of this dismal situation lies in the fact that our vitality is ex- tremely low, due to the constant strain to which we have been sub- jected during the last several months, studying and hibernating more or less through the winter, draining the vitality from the very depths of our systems. We’re all human. It’s only natural that we should be disheart- ened. But don’t be ! Spring and better times will soon be here ! Editor. THE VALUE OF LIFE Did you ever stop to consider why we live and of what value we are to 8 THE SCREECH OWL the world? Yes, of course, for most certainly each and every one of us experiences this feeling at some time or another. When we are pessimistic, we cry, “Of what value are we any- way? We live, we die, thousands of centuries will follow ours, and mil- lions of beings will take our niche in the world. Why live, then?” But when we are happy, we shout to the world, “We live for happiness, for the joy of living! We are strug- gling to reach an ideal of perfection, one that is never reached in this world, but which is rewarded only in heaven!” Which of the two is the right atti- tude? Is it that of continued grumb- ling, believing that life cannot be changed ; and that it is only made up of pitfalls and chasms of despair, where no sunlight ever penetrates? Is it that of disillusion, believing that the dregs of life are only bitter and unsatisfactory? Is it this? No! Is it happiness then, joy, laughter, sprinkled with a few tears which make us realize even more the su- preme happiness of life? Is it earnest struggling to grasp that which we desire ? Is it bonds of love, — love that holds home, church, and nation as one? What is it? It is a question for each individual to decide for himself, for we get only as much out of life as we put into it! If we put grumbling and half-hearted efforts into the bowl of life, an un- pleasant mixture results! If we put happiness, zest, energy, the will to do right into it, a concoction of our dreams is made! Remember and profit by the experi- ences of others, for it is for the earn- est people that life is worth while ; all else she excludes from her retinue. Which attitude are you going to take? Doris Dawson, ’ 30 . AHEAD— Ahead of us we have three months in which to complete the work of this school year. For a few of us these months will be the last we are to spend in school. Let us make the most of them. Let us make these last school days an aid as we forge ahead. For others of us these last months are merely the last of another school year. There is hardly a thought as to what lies ahead. We say that there will be time for that later. But will there be time ? The time to start pon- dering over the future years is in the early years of high school. We should resolve at that time to make our high school career a worthy one and to strive with our utmost ability to pre- pare ourselves well for the future. Ahead of us is Life. We must meet it with squared shoulders and a quick step. We must be courageous and plucky enough to go out and try to attain our goal. The knocks and bruises we receive from life should not crush and defeat us. They should be an incentive to fight more valiantly than before. Nothing worthy is gained without giving something of worth ; so let us be determined to give the world the best we have in hopes that the best will come back to us. The “Screech Owl” staff is printing in this issue two stories chosen as the best of those submitted to the con- test. “The Owl” extends its thanks to Miss Ruth Finn, Miss Helen Morgan, and Mr. Guy Fowler, who acted as judges. SCREECH OWL PRIZE STORY THE LAST CLICK By Katherine Bariteau Katherine is an active member of the class of ’30. Her literary career has been short and this is her first prize money in that field. Katherine is em- ployed in a local bookstore, which may explain her literary trend. She likes the out-of-doors and is adept at many sports. She is a pleasant associate and finds much enjoyment with her class- mates. Katherine intends to enter Bridgewater Normal in the fall. New York City! Hustle, excite- ment, noise everywhere, horns blow- ing, trains puffing, and people rushing to their destination. Jack Wells, one of the many million visitors to New York, was lounging gracefully on the hotel divan when he heard his name being called. “Mr. James Wells! Mr. Wells!” Jack jumped up, looked around him and saw a messenger calling and wav- ing a yellow envelope in the air. “Right here, Buddy,” replied Jack. “Pm James Wells.” The boy handed the telegram to Jack, who signed for it. Jack carefully examined the enve- lope and said, “Why, this is the first time Fve ever received a telegram! It can’t be bad news !” Cautiously, he opened the telegram and read the con- tents. “Come at once stop Mother very ill stop Rose.” Jack’s face paled, his hands shook, his eyes glared, visions ran speedily through his mind. “Mother very ill? It — it can’t be. She was well and happy when I left a week ago, but Rose would never send me a telegram if it were not seri- ous. I’ll go home immediately.” Hurriedly, but still in a daze, Jack packed his bag and boarded the train heading for home and Mother. “Oh, why doesn’t this train go faster? We are merely crawling.” Suddenly his face brightened, “I know. I’ll get out at the next station and go by airplane.” This Jack did and found himself in San Diego in an hour. Arriving home, he was confronted at the door by the dearly loved but- ler, Perkins, with a horrified look that Jack had never seen before. “Oh Perkins, what has happened? I must see her at once ! Where is she ? Answer me, Perkins!” “My boy,” said the butler. “Com- pose yourself and listen to my advice. Your mother is seriously ill and knows no one. She continually calls your name. Go to her. She will not recognize you, but be brave for — ” “Stop! I must go to her!” cried the boy. At that, Jack bounded lightly up the stairs and stopped before his mother’s door. Gathering his courage, he slowly opened the door and saw his frail, pale, yet sweet mother lying on her bed. Clearing his throat he said, “Mother, I am here.” “Camera! 0. K! Stop!” shouted the director of the Magno Film Company. “We’ll shoot the rest of the scene to- morrow.” 10 THE SCREECH OWL Honorable mention has been given to Harriet Frye, a member of the Junior class, whose story follows: PAUL TO THE RESCUE “Here is a story, believe it or no. It happened to Cook and I know it’s so. The scene was — ” “Oh, preserve it for a rainy day. If you can ' t talk prose like the rest of us, keep it to yourself,” interrupted Bernice ' s older, and of course, super- ior brother Paul. “Well, what I was about to relate to your royal highness,” continued the undaunted Bernice, “is that Judy walked in her sleep again last night — but alas ! — I fear a most disastrous outcome. She walked up and down the hall by Chloe’s bedroom door, waving her arms about and reciting Lady Macbeth ' s sleep-walking scene. Poor Cook is nearly frantic and de- clares she won ' t stay in this ‘ghost ' s den’ another day. She plans to leave on the 7 : 15 train tomorrow morning.” “For cat’s sake,” exploded Paul, jumping up from the most comfort- able chair in the room. “A fine scrape — with Mother and Dad not due home for a week yet — and, holy gee! — our party’s tomorrow night!” “Yes, dearest brother, and but forty cents remains in the family treasury. None of us can boil water without burning it, let alone cook anything. Oh, we’ve got to keep Chloe.” “Now listen, you two,” said Paul as Judy entered the room, “I’m respons- ible for us all in Dad’s absence — ” “Oh, listen to the child,” giggled Bernice, “most illustrious sir, I humbly beg to be allowed — ” But Paul silenced her with a glance (being a football player), and contin- ued: “Judy you’re the cause of all this — can you offer any suggestions ?” “Yes, I thought that maybe Bern- ice could sleep in Chloe’s room to- night, and at, say twelve o’clock, I could do the same thing over again. Then Bernice could show Cook that it’s only me.” “Marvelous, stupendous, how did you ever think of it?” was Bernice’s comment. “Gee, Judy, that’s just the thing. And I’ll keep vigil with you, too — when you hear that cat-call of mine you’ll know that it’s time for your act. I’ll have to stick around to see that everything goes off right.” So it was agreed. The trio spent the rest of the day trying to console pessimistic Chloe, but that negress just wasn’t to be comforted. Came the night. They all retired early, and Paul found it hard to keep awake the long three hours to midnight. He started to read “Tom Slade, Dispatch Rider,” for the tenth time, but found the repetition too monoton- ous. He then proceeded to get out his writing materials and started a letter to Bill, but stopped after writing the salutation because he couldn’t think of anything to say. The remainder of the time was spent by poring over his old stamp album. Finally the downstairs clock struck twelve. Paul opened his door, and crossed the hall to Judy’s room. “Me-oow, me-oow !” No answer. He knocked on the door and called, as loudly as he dared, “Sis! Judy! Ju-u-u-dith!” Gentle snores were the only reply. No doubt about it — she was asleep and it would be useless to wake her — she’d get excited and there was no telling what Judith Hazelton would do when she got excited! Paul crept down the hall and made sure that Bernice and Chloe were asleep — he could easily tell by the sound, — then went back to his own room to concentrate. Weren’t girls just the limit? You never could depend on them. All ex- cept Ruth Rhodes, but then she wasn’t like other girls ! THE SCREECH OWL Suddenly it dawned on him. Why couldn’t he wrap a sheet around him and take the part of Chloe’s friend ghost ? To think was to act with Paul and it wasn’t long before he was pacing the hall in front of Chloe’s door and reciting the first thing that entered his head — Bernice’s half-finished rhyme of the morning before. “Here is a story, believe it or no, It happened to Cook and I know it is so, The scene was — ” “Oh Lord, hab mercy on a poor innercent nigger who nebber done no- body no harm.” Chloe was on her knees. Her wails awoke Bernice who remembered her cue. She opened the door and grabbed Paul. “See, Chloe, it’s only Judy walking in her sleep — just as we said. That is — I mean Paul.” The negress was reconciled at last, and of course she promised not to neglect her charges. She also vowed that they would all have the best re- freshments ever, at their party. “Lucky you interrupted me there,” remarked Paul to Bernice, “I wouldn’t let you continue that blessed rhyme this morning you know.” And Judy slept on serenely. A LIE BY ANY OTHER NAME IS JUST AS SWEET James Carroll brought the smoothly purring limousine to a stop with a lurch, and nimbly sprung from its velvet-cushioned seat. It was spring, and luxury was his. A trim figure he made, too, content with his worldly lot. Who would not be con- tent with fashion’s most approved clothes on his back, and the world’s largest and handsomest car to drive ? He walked through the park with a jaunty, springing step. Suddenly a dainty white wisp of lace fluttered to the ground at his feet. Ah, an old trick, he thought. But gallantly he It picked it up, catching a faint whiff of lilac as he did so, and held it in his extended hand, bowing. “Drop your handkerchief?” he asked courteously. “Oh, thank you,” came a murmur of gratitude and surprise as a pair of liquid eyes met his. By George! She was a stunning girl ! Such has been the introduction of many a friendship. Such it was of theirs. They sat together on the park bench; he of the aristocratic mien, she of rustic simplicity. “So you’re to go back to the country soon? You don’t like the city?” He did strive hard to keep up conversa- tion. “I live on Du Pont Crest. Ever heard of it? I’d like to take you there sometime and show you my polo field. Aristocrats live at the Crest. I like to get away sometimes and see other kinds.” “Like me you mean,” she said, and turned awa} . “Oh, here’s father; you must meet him.” She arose. A portly gentleman was introduced, and good-byes were spoken almost immediately. They must return to their rural home before nightfall. When they were gone, James Car- roll was still happy. He felt no pangs of conscience or feelings of remorse as he sat at the wheel of the gleam- ing car and heard his master’s voice from the rear order: “Home, James!” Wieno Sneck, ’30. A CLASSROOM EPISODE (In the Manner of Hey wood Brown) “Hearken ye, my young scholars,” quoth the professor as he nimbly oc- cupied his seat behind the bench, “what reports are these that the wind wafts to mine ears ? Is’t true that thy lessons have been neglected for to- day?” Small voice from rear of room: “Ah, ’tis too true, dear professor, erstwhile our time has been occupied with the noble sport of basketball.” 12 THE SCREECH OWL “What! thou woulds’t overlook thy studies for athletics? True, that is a crime I can never pardon. I will re- port thy misbehavior to our beloved principal !” Indignantly he strode towards the head master’s office and rapped severely on the door. When, after many frantic knocks, he received no answer, he rushed frantically around the building tearing his hair. Ten, twenty, thirty minutes, but no prin- cipal. Meanwhile the honorable students were raising the roof in the class- room, and great delight was ex- pressed when the passing moments brought no professor. As a last re- sort, the aforesaid pedant retreated to the gymnasium, where a rapid succession of knocks had attracted his attention. Much to our dear pro- fessor’s amazement, he found the head master clad in orange and black attire, shooting baskets from all four corners of the gymnasium. Our weak-kneed professor could but drag himself back to the class- room where he was forced to over- look the pupils’ neglect. G. Garland, ’30. AMBITIONS We all have our ambitions Mother, Susie, Pa, and Ted, And suffer inhibitions And are dizzy in the head. Mother’s sole and only reason For living till this day Is to beat old Mrs. Gleason In chasing pounds away. Susie prinks and curls and fusses And is always on the go, She fumes and raves and rushes To win her friend’s best beau. The aim that father treasures Is easy ’nuff to guess, The chief of all imaginal pleasures, To beat Si Parks at chess. You don’t get to aspiration Until you come to Ted. He longs for admiration For standing on his head. My wish I soon can mention ; It’s easy in the main. It’s to chuck old darn convention And walk bare headed in the rain. Ma says, “Why child, you’re nutty ! Can that talk and listen here. The rain will soak you into putty And pour into your ear.” Though all are rather busy In one thing they agree That one of us is crazy, And that one must be me. Everywhere there’s compensation And I have found it true; So you may think of others What others think of you. WHAT SHALL I MAKE OF MYSELF? Ambition — defined by Webster as “a consuming desire to achieve some object or purpose” — is a quality which every student of any high school should possess. If anyone has that characteristic, he will set a goal for which to strive; then he will do all in his power to attain that goal and reach the pinnacle of success. Despite this fact, ambition doesn’t necessarily mean that one must have a desire to achieve only one purpose and let all other things go. In these modern times when there is such great competition for all positions in every trade or work, a person must be able to do many things fairly well. In other words, one must be a “jack-of- all-trades.” A new-comer in any busi- ness or art finds it difficult to be a success because of the fact that there are so many trying for a small num- ber of desirable positions. The first question, and the most vital question which should be in the mind of a person beginning to prepare himself for the work of life, should THE SCREECH OWL 13 be: “What shall I make of myself?” Every one of the young people enter- ing the higher schools has a desire to follow some particular business or art for his life work; therefore he must, in order to accomplish his purpose, learn everything that is in some way connected with that work. This, how- ever, is a problem which remains un- solved in the minds of the majority of high school students. Even on the night of graduation, many seniors are undecided as to their plans for the future. Some are waiting for some fortunate opportunity to present it- self; others go into any work at all, hoping to learn and become efficient in that work, the thing that they should have done before; and still others sit aside and watch the world go ' round, without realizing that their many years of school life have gone for naught. Therefore, to those who are begin- ning their high school careers, let this be said: “In order to succeed despite the many obstacles, set a goal for yourself and try to answer suc- cessfully that question vital to suc- cess, ' What shall I make of myself ” ? W. Frigard, ' 30. JOHN It was the day before the New Year ' s Social, and a teacher in the front of the room could see many different expressions on the faces of the students. In one aisle, in the back seat, sat John Wimple. His face had a look of conceit and satisfaction. Upon looking into his mind, we would find that he had his attention on the girl five seats ahead of him. He was sure she would go to the social with her. Three seats ahead sat John Andrews whose face had a rather perplexed expression, for he was trying to puzzle out a way of asking the very same girl, Jane Stewart by name, to the social. His bashfulness was almost overcoming his desire. Jane Stewart, the center of interest to the two boys, was also wondering who would ask her to the party. She preferred John Andrews, but he was so shy that she might just as well have wanted the moon. There were five more minutes of school, when John Andrews felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and John Wimple was handing him a note. “Would you give this to Jane for me? I have to stay after school.” John said he would, and after school he hastily handed Jane the note. His shyness made him take quick leave of her. She watched him disappear and heaved a sigh. Then she read the note, and her face beamed with joy. It would seem ages till recess of the next day. Finally that time arrived, and John Wimple and John Andrews were standing in the school yard. The former had been telling the other that he was taking Jane to the social. In a few minutes Jane came run- ning up to them. She faced John Andrews and said, “Oh, I ' m so glad you wanted me to go with you to- night. Of course I will.” He did not know what to say or do. He had not asked her to go, but if she was asking him that was all right ; so he said, “I ' ll come around for you at eight.” John Wimple could not understand this. Hadn ' t he asked her to go. But on rereading his note he would have found he had only put down the sig- nature “John”. Harold R. Wilcox, ' 30. A SKETCH— INDEPENDENCE They were brothers — bachelors. They had lived together many years. But one day a change came, a start- ling change. One renounced his celi- bacy. He married a good cook. The other was left alone; alone to live in the room they had shared to- gether; alone to spend his declining years. 14 THE SCREECH OWL Yet his heart was gay. He had something the other had not. He sent his brother a handsome parrot swing- ing in a gilded cage. Not free to wander was that parrot, but hamp- ered, checked, restrained on every side. The irony of marriage! Wieno Sneck, ’30. WAITING AT THE CHURCH The Carson household was in a tumult. In fact, this precise family had never before been so disrupted. They moved about with despair on their faces. And all because Nora, the cook, was going to marry Patrol- man Casey and leave the Carson household. This in itself might have been a minor detail to some but to the Carson household it was an acute tragedy. Nora was “E Pluribus Unum.” Never had there been a cook like Nora. And her apple pies — m-m- m — . “We simply must do something about this drastic situation,” mur- mured Mr. Carson. “We’ll raise her pay,” suggested Johnny Carson. “We’ve already tried that,” sighed his sister. “We’ve got to do something,” snapped Mrs. Carson. “We’ll each adjourn to a separate room and think for half an hour,” de- cided Mr. Carson, “then we’ll come back here and discuss our plans.” Thirty minutes later found them again in the library. “I can’t think of a thing,” sighed Johnny. “Neither can I,” said his sister. “I’m as bad as the children,” said Mrs. Carson. “It would seem,” said Mr. Carson with asperity, “that, as usual, I must do all the thinking for this family. Well, I’ve thought of a plan and if I do say so I think it is a wonder; in fact, it cannot fail. Owing to my ability as a plan maker, we will still have a cook. Now listen. We’ll let everything go until the wedding, to- morrow. At the moment that Patrol- man Casey arrives, I’ll have Johnny run in with a note, supposedly from the chief, saying that a murder had been committed and for Casey to come right over. His sense of duty is so strong that he’ll put the wedding ahead for an hour and leave for head- quarters. Nora will arrive and I’ll tell her that Casey had to go to the sta- tion to answer a hurry call from the chief. Knowing Nora as I do, I feel assured that she’ll be so mad at be- ing kept waiting at the church that she’ll naturally give Casey the go-by. Now, how’s that for a plan?” “I think it’s terrible,” exclaimed his wife, “but we must keep Nora.” The next day found Mrs. Carson at the church standing beside Patrolman Casey, once the pride of the force, but now a very much shaken and worried man. Mr. Carson and the family were also present. Johnny Carson was seen running toward them with a very ex- cited expression on his face. He had a note in his hand, but, instead of handing it to Casey, he gave it to his father. “I believe this is for Patrolman Casey, isn’t it?” asked his father quickly. “No, for you, — ” this with a sem- blance of suppressed mirth. Mr. Carson adjusted his glasses, opened the note, and proceeded to read. Then his jaw slowly dropped, he reddened and coughed his embar- assment. “Well, I’ll be — ” he was heard to mutter. “What does it say?” anxiously in- quired his wife. Mr. Carson looked at the crowd, swallowed hard, and read: “I have eloped with the janitor. Nora.” John Horan, ’30. THE SCREECH OWL 15 NANCY By a sudden turn in the value of his stock, Mr. Buffet became rich over night. Immediately upon this change in his fortune he was coaxed into buy- ing a very large house by his daugh- ter, Nancy. As neither of the Buffets was educated beyond grammar school or possessed social position, they did not know just how to go about their new life. The new house was fur- nished very magnificently, and Nancy had a great many parties, entertain- ing extensively. One day Nancy - was invited by a girl who lived near her, but was not one of her crowd, to visit a near-by college for girls. Anxious to get into society, Nancy accepted. The day arrived, and Nancy and her student friend, Marjorie, journ- eyed over the fifty miles between home and Trixton College. The first person whom they saw upon their ar- rival at the school was Professor Horne. Nancy immediately became interested in the young professor. She attended the lecture given that day by him and then made a sudden decision. That night when Nancy was in the library with her father, she told of her visit and her desire to become a member of Trixton College. Nancy and her father visited the college the next day and had an inter- view with the college president. After a half-hour in the president’s office, the Buffets walked out, looking very downcast. Nancy did not have a high school diploma, therefore she could not join the girls of Trixton College. It being Mr. Buffet’s policy to give Nancy everything she wanted, he spent the remainder of the day and night trying to think of a plan to ful- fill his daughter’s wish. It was five A. M. when an idea came. He awak- ened his daughter and at 6:30 they were on their way to Trixton College. They arrived a half-hour before the office was opened, but they waited. After a long interview with the officials of the college, the Buffets emerged triumphantly. Nancy could attend Trixton College. But how ? Guess! You couldn’t! Trixton is to have a new building, the Buffet Dining Hall. “I just couldn’t disappoint Nancy,” said the donor. Louise Johnston, ’30. CHICAGO After I had ducked three or four bombs which had been hurled at me from the third story of the “Ritz- Rotz,” I started on the run for the nearest police station. “What’s your hurry, Buddy?” ques- tioned a ferocious looking “pug” as he whipped his blackjack from its holster. “Whither be thou bound?” Utterly frightened, I was unable to answer this simple but impolite ques- tion. He loosened his grip on my shoulder, and I heard three buttons drop to the curb. What was his pur- pose? My mind became a blank. “If you’re going down to the Police Station give my regards to the Chief. Here’s my card.” The tough looking man drew forth a card from his pocket and thrust it before my face. I cast my gaze over the inscription. “Michael Casper Jones, Politician, Dealer in Bombs, Machine Guns, etc. See us first. Call Regio 117B663.” I took the card, placed it in my pocket, and hastily bade the politician goodbye. I hurried to the nearest station, but before I got there two men in blue accosted me. Without any warning I was rushed into a padded cell. What the big idea was, I could not tell. I really didn’t like the treatment they gave me there. I protested, but for all the good it did I might have been trying to date up Joan Crawford. After a very restless night and a tasteless breakfast I was put into an ambulance and taken to the psycho- pathic ward of the city hospital. Find- ing me mentally K. 0., they shipped 16 THE SCREECH OWL me back to the jail. Upon my arrival they brought me before the judge who had a face that reminded me of a cross between a St. Bernard and a Boston terrier. “What’s the charge?” growled the judge, as he took the card I offered him. I shrank down to the size of a Mex- ican jumping bean. My brow became moist. All eyes were focused on me. I didn’t know what I had done to cause all this commotion and trouble. “Your honor,” a man with a red mustache said, “I found this lunatic out in the street.” “But your honor!” I exclaimed. “Shut up!” the judge growled. “And he was breaking windows and shooting children and using profane language.” “The first few charges are nothing, but for his using profanity I shall give him thirty years at hard labor.” “But your honor, think of my poor wife and children.” “Twenty more years for contempt of court.” “What! Your honor, I was only — ” “Put him up for life,” growled the judge. After I had served three days, I knew all the tricks of the various il- legal trades, such as bootlegging and politics. The other prisoners let me in on their plan for escape. The zero hour came and we mutinied. We refused to eat stuffed duck. We were fed up on it. We wanted chop-suey for a change. When the chef refused us, we started our escape and burned down the prison. Gathering together all the ammuni- tion in the supply room, we headed down Main Street to make “whoo- pee.” As we approached the stock yard, someone shot off a cap pistol. A stam- pede immediately followed and I used up all the bombs that I had and made my escape. I’ll not go there any more. Harold Lerer, ’30. QUAND NOUS PENSONS EN FRANCAIS LE TONNERRE DES MAX1MES DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD REVERBERENT DANS LA FORET VIERGE DE LA CLASSE AVANCEE. LA ROCHEFOUCAULD Francois La Rochefoucauld, auteur et moraliste frangais naquit a Paris en seize cent treize. II servit plusieurs annees dans l’armee et prit part a la Fronde. II fut blesse deux fois. II ne regut pas la recompense qu’il esperait d’Anne d’Autriche. Pendant les dernieres annees de sa vie il fit la connaissance de Madame de La Fayette. Sa celebrite est due a son petit volume de “Maximes.” La note preponderate des “Maximes” est l’egoi ' sme. Cette philosophie de la vie est exposee avec ardeur et d’une maniere elegante. Ses maximes sont distinguees parcequ’elles sont pleines de pessimisme. En voici quelques-unes. Jugez en vous meme ! Howard King. “Les vertus se perdent dans l’interet comme les fleuves dans la mer.” “Si nous resistons a nos pas- sions, c’est plus par leur faib- lesse que par notre force.” “Le refus des louanges est un desir d’etre loue deux fois.” “Ce qu’on nomme liberate n’est plus souvent que la vanite de donner que nous aimons mieux que ce que nous donnons.” La Rochefoucauld. THE SCREECH OWL 17 SON CARACTERE Amer, cynique, desappointe, La Rochefoucauld, un homme desillu- sionne en politique, en amour, dans la vie elle-meme! Pessimiste confirme, mais homme remarquable il voyait tout depouille de ses faussetes et de ses couvertures protectrices de men- songe que l’optimiste prefere ignorer. II n’est pas tou jours juste mais il aime le vrai, et c’est ce que nous cherchons tous — la verite! On admire cette qualite dans Fhomme, particu- lierement dans La Rochefoucauld. Son style est anime, correct, precis ; son choix de mots est exact, colore, excellent. Il est brillant dans la con- versation, incline a etre caustique, mais badin! Sa theorie: “il n’y a rien dans la vie que Fegoisme et l’interet personnel” est excessivement habile bien que la pensee soit morbide. Son amertume est refletee dans ses “Maximes, ” la philosophic d’un pessi- miste. Si Famour et le bonheur avaient pu entrer dans la vie de La Rochefoucauld, nous aurions Fhomme parfait, car un esprit brillant renforce par Famour et Fesperance est admire partout ! Doris Dawson. Ballotte par les desappointements de la vie, La Rochefoucauld devint un pessimiste confirme. Il ne faut pas dire qu’il etait lache simplement parce qu’il exprima des idees pessimistes. Ce sont les opinions qu’il a gagnees par F experience. Ses “Maximes” sont comme le testament moral de son ame meurtrie par la vie. Quelqu’ un qui est blesse au combat certainement n’ est pas un lache! Cependant, il etait fait plutot pour la meditation que pour F action et sa nature chagrine F inclinait au pessi- misme. Il etait melancolique et tres peu sensible a la pitie. Je le trouve interessant! Mark Kelly. La Rochefoucauld etait un poltron. Tous sont des poltrons qui perdent leur foi dans F humanite a cause d’ un desappointement. Tous les pessi- mistes sont des poltrons. Mais ils sont habiles. Ils peuvent meme se persuader que ce qu’ils croient est vrai. La Rochefoucauld etait tres habile. Il pensait pouvoir eviter les desappointements en attend- ant le pis. De cette maniere-la il pouvait recevoir plusieures surprises agreables parceque rien n’ arrive comme nous F attendons. Le pessimisme est une force demoralisante ! Salme Wirkkanen. D’AUTRES ECHOS! “Je me represente La Rochefouc- auld ayant de petites lignes boudeuses autour de la bouche, et dans les yeux un air severe qui cherche tou jours le pire dans les gens. Il est peut-etre ego ' iste, abattu, au coeur dur, mais ces traits servent seulement a faire avancer ses oeuvres.” Edith Perkins. “11 est lache et faible parce qu’ il ne peut pas approcher le monde avec un sourire. Il est trop timide pour etre admire.” Winifred Tobin. “11 avait peur de la vie.” B. Gruber. “11 me semble qu’il parle comme un enfant gate.” Olga Anderson. “11 prend probablement cette atti- tude pessimiste pour se distinguer et pour acquerir le nom de ‘grand pessimiste’.” Irma Wirkkanen. “11 est ingenieux d’etre pessimiste, mais il est plus ingenieux d’etre philosophe !” Edith Perkins. THE SCREECH OWL 18 “Je l’admire pour sa franchise, son courage et sa sincerity !” Katherine Bariteau. “II ne realisa pas que la valeur d’un homme est mesuree seulement par la facon dont il agit quand il rencontre un obstacle.” Wilho Frigard. “11 a leve un miroir a la societe par sa philosophies Dorothy Allen. | ALUMNI NOTES C. C. Completes the Play As Harold Glickman, ’27, a former editor of the “Screech Owl”, was re- turning home from Dartmouth one day, he was given a ride by the for- mer coach of athletics at Goddard Seminary. After a general discussion, the merits of two local boys, Kenneth Murray, ’28, and Samuel Bachrach, ' 28, came into view. The coach re- lated this incident about Murray: “It was during the Middlebury Frosh-Goddard football game that this peculiar event occurred. As you know, ‘Ken ' is hard to get started but when he does, be careful. It happened that the right guard of Middlebury bumped Murray on the jaw, during a scrimmage. Murray certainly saw stars and was partly stunned. A few plays later this very same Middlebury guard was laid out cold with his eyes scanning the heavens. Murray walked up to the prostrate figure, picked him up, glanced at the number on his back, and gently placed him on the ground once again. After the game when I asked Mur- ray why he did this. He said, ‘I wanted to see if it was the right man’.” Incidently Goddard Seminary was the Prep School Champion of Ver- mont that season. Samuel Bachrach also played on the team. He was a powerful man on the offense and a tiger on the defense. Sam is attend- ing the University of Maine at pres- ent, while his roommate and team- mate is around town as a promoter. Alumni Hold Meeting and Dance The Alumni Association held a meeting at the High School Auditor- ium on December 80, 1929. The fol- lowing officers were elected for the coming year: President, Harold Mor- gan; Vice-President, Mrs. Jeremiah Lynch ; Secretary, Albert Cowles ; and Treasurer, Mrs. Sadie Case. The Ex- ecutive Committee is composed of Rober Lester, Charles Lerer, Loretta Mullin, Mildred Randell, and James Farrell. After the meeting a dance was held in honor of the class of 1929. The hall was crowded and a good time was had by all. Alumni Hold Whist The Alumni Association held a very successful Bridge and Whist party at the High School Auditorium, Febru- ary 17, 1980. A great number of prominent alumni and alumnae were present. The hall was crowded to capacity and it proved to be a very enjoyable evening for all. Entertainment was provided by members of the “White Elephant” Club who produced a one- act play entitled “The Wedding Pres- ent.” It was a very humorous sketch and was appreciated by all. The mem- bers of the dramatic club are to be complimented on their unusual abil- ity. The cast included Miss Catherine Coughlan, Denis Farnell, and William Ledgard. It was produced under the direction of Miss Helen Sheldrick of the faculty. Prizes at bridge went to Stanley Wardzala, Mrs. Reba Taylor, Mrs. George Taylor, and Mr. Gifford Wood. Prizes at whist were won by Harold Lerer, Mrs. Ida Brooks, Harold Sheri- dan, and Mrs. Kate Paul. When Coach Lent called for basket- ball candidates, more than fifty boys responded to the call. The practices had to be held in the high school gymnasium; therefore a big “cut” in this group was necessary because of lack of space and facilities. However, those who survived this “cut” settled down to hard work to prepare for the coming season. The boys all realized that they had something to live up to this year. In the first place, the boys set the Midland League Cham- pionship as their goal, for Maynard High has never had the honor of be- ing Midland League champions in any sport. For many years Maynard has missed the championship by the nar- rowest of margins, losing the basket- ball and football titles by one point last year to Marlboro. The boys were out to uphold the reputation made by last year’s great team, which did not lose a home game all year, and which did not lose twice to any team during the regular season. Only two of last year’s team re- ported again this year, four of them having graduated last June. Captain Michael Zapareski, star back on last year’s team, and Wilho Frigard were the only lettermen to return. Walter Fairbanks, Joseph Kochnowicz, Sulo Hintsa, Michael Sczerzen, Harold Wil- cox, Gilbert Garland, and George Gutteridge were new members on the squad. Practices were held regularly for two weeks, and by New Years the team was ready for competition. Maynard 26 — West boro 12 Maynard High opened its 1930 bas- ketball season on January 3rd by de- feating Westboro High at the latter’s gymnasium by the score of 26-12. Maynard took the lead in the first quarter and the result was never in doubt. Maynard gave promise of de- veloping into another strong team, displaying a powerful offence and a tight defence. The Maynard Seconds defeated the Westboro Seconds by a score of 14-3 in a preliminary game. High School 33 — Alumni 8 On January 11th, the Maynard High Alumni came, saw, but did not conquer in the high school gym in a basketball game which was a rout for the school team. The Alumni held their younger opponents to an 8-2 score in the first half ; but the school- boys ran wild in the last half, scoring twenty-five points to six for their ad- versaries. Clinton 32 — Maynard 23 The Maynard High School quintet suffered its first defeat of the season at the hands of the Clinton High School five at Clinton on January 24th, by the score of 32-23. It was an exceptionally fast game, with May- nard taking an early lead, only to suc- cumb to Clinton’s rally in the second period. With the game becoming faster and rougher in the last half, Clinton uncorked a great rally in the middle of the fourth quarter to en- able it to win comfortably. A large crowd witnessed this game and ex- citement was at its height throughout the game. Maynard 43 — Hudson 13 Maynard High opened its Midland THE SCREECH OWL 21 League schedule on January 25th in an auspicious manner by trouncing Hudson High by the overwhelming score of 43-13. Hudson showed great strength in holding Maynard to a 14-7 score in the first half; but oh man, that last half. Maynard came out in this period to give its best demon- stration of basketball of the year, scoring twenty-nine points and show- ing wonderful team work. Hudson was never in the running, while the home team gave promise of being league champs this year. A large crowd witnessed this game, which was played at Waltham St. Hall. In a preliminary game the Hudson Seconds took a 20-14 beating from the Maynard Seconds. Northboro 29 — Maynard 26 Maynard showed a complete re- versal of form at Northboro High. Northboro took a commanding lead early in the first period, and although at times Maynard flashed, they were unable to make up that big difference of the first period. During the last part of the game, the play became faster, with North- boro’s lead threatened; but the final score read Northboro 29-Maynard 26. Maynard 38 — Marlboro 20 Marlboro came to Waltham St. Hall on February 1st to give the Maynard High School quintet its second Mid- land League test of the year. A large crowd was on hand to witness this game, which was closer than the score indicates. Maynard found it hard to get “going”, and the score at the half was 16-10 in favor of the home team. At the beginning of the third quarter Marlboro almost tied the game by putting on a rally. The locals showed their real greatness in the last quarter, however, when they “stepped on it” and walked away with their opponents. The final score was 38-20 in Maynard’s favor and put the winners into first place in the league standing, with two victories and no defeats to their credit. Northboro 21 — Maynard 17 Maynard High School suffered its first defeat on a home floor since the 1928 season, when it lost 21-17 deci- sion to Northboro High at the High School gymnasium on February 8th. A 11-9 lead in the first half for May- nard was lost when the locals were unable to cope with the attack of the visitors in the final stanzas. The lack of space in the gym made the game rougher than usual, and in one scrim- mage one of the Northboro players was knocked unconscious. In a preliminary game, the unde- feated Maynard Seconds won over the Northboro Seconds. Maynard 34 — Marlboro 19 The Maynard High School quintet assured itself of at least a tie for first place in the Midland League by de- feating Marlboro at Marlboro on Feb- ruary 14th by the score of 34 to 19. Again Maynard won by one of its spectacular finishes, for the score at half time was only 16-12 in favor of the winners. In the last half, Marl- boro proved to be no match for May- nard, and the locals scored often to win the first game that a Maynard team has ever won on the Marlboro floor. This win eventually brought the League pennant to Maynard, for Marlboro and Hudson each defeated the other on their home floors, thus putting both out of the running with two defeats apiece. The Maynard Seconds continued their undefeated record at the ex- pense of the Marlboro Seconds by winning a 24-11 game in a prelimin- ary to the main game. Maynard 24 — Leominster 16 Maynard sprung another surprise on February 18th by defeating the strong Leominster High quintet at Leominster by the margins of 24-16. 22 THE SCREECH OWL The Leominster team was much heav- ier and taller than its opponents ; but Maynard scored first and held the lead throughout by sensational bas- ketball. A furious scoring attack in the first quarter dazzled the Leomin- ster boys and Maynard held a com- fortable lead until the final whistle. The record of the Maynard Seconds was broken when the Leominster Seconds took a 13-8 decision in a pre- liminary game. Hudson 22 — Maynard 20 The Maynard High School five, al- ready having the Midland League pennant clinched, travelled to Hudson on Washington’s Birthday to play its remaining League contest. A capacity crowd came to witness the proceed- ings, expecting an easy Maynard win. A great surprise was in store, how- ever, for in one of the fastest and most furious games of the year, Hud son took the measure of the League champs by a 22-20 score in an over- time game. Hudson, after trailing for three periods, finally overcame the lead piled up by the Maynardites, and a tie score resulted after the regular periods had been played. Pandemon- ium reigned when, eight seconds be- fore the end of the three minutes overtime, Hudson scored the winning points. This loss broke the undefeated League record of the champions from Maynard, but did not take the pen- nant from them. Midland League Champions! At last! After years of unsuccess- ful efforts, Maynard finally won its first Midland League pennant when the 1930 basketball team carried away the honors. After losing two pennants by one point last year, the Maynard boys came through this year, being undefeated in the league until the final game with Hudson. The champions outclassed all opposition this year, scoring 135 points in four league games against 74 for the op- ponents. Led by Captain Michael Zapareski, star back, the team played exceptional basketball to win the first pennant that a Maynard High team has ever won in any sport. Every player on the championship squad is a lover of the sport and it was cer- tainly a cause for jubilation when the pennant was won in three straight games. The pupils of the school and the townspeople have cause to be proud of this group of young athletes and champions, who possessed a “do or die” spirit to win that pennant this year. The regulars of the championship outfit are : Captain Michael Zapareski and Joseph Kocknowicz, guards ; Wal- ter Fairbanks and Wilho Frigard, for- wards; and Gilbert Garland, center. Substitutes of this outfit are Harold Wilcox, Olavi Warila, George Gutter- idge, Sulo Hintsa, Ahti Frigard, and Michael Sczerzen. All the regulars and two of the subs will graduate this coming June, the class of 1930 having the honor of giv- ing Maynard High its first pennant. However, this pennant is only the first, and may it not be the last! The final standing in the Midland League in 1930 : Won Lost Ave. Maynard H. S 3 1 .750 Hudson H. S 2 2 .500 Marlboro H. S 1 3 .250 THE SCREECH OWL 23 Our Basketball PENNANT WINNERS Capt. “MikE” Zapareski “PiNg” Fairbanks “Gil” GarlaNd “Horse” FrigArd “Butch” KochNowicz “Sulo” HinTsa Asst. Coach “Al” LeRer Coach DonAld Lent Mgr. Howard King By two of “ ’SO”. GIRLS’ ATHLETICS After several weeks of strenuous practice, the Maynard girls opened their 1930 basketball season at Clin- ton on January 24th by defeating the Clinton girls by the close score of 18- 17. The Maynard team piled up a commanding lead in the first half, Which enabled them to eke out a vic- tory in spite of a Clinton rally in the last half. Despite the fact that it was the first game of the year for May- nard, the game was fast and was cleanly played. Maynard 18 — Hudson 15 The Maynard girls opened their home season at the Waltham Street Hall on February 1st by taking the measure of the Hudson girls in a thrilling game. Again it was a big lead in the first half which won the game for Maynard; for the Hudson co-eds came back strong in the last half to tie the score in the fourth quarter. However, Maynard was not to be denied, and they scored the win- ning points shortly before the final whistle. Maynard 45 — Marlboro 19 In their next game the fair wearers of the Orange and Black ran wild in the Marlboro High School gymnas- ium, trouncing the Marlboro girls by the overwhelming score of 45-19. From the very beginning it could be seen that Maynard knew too much basketball for their opponents, and they romped away with the easiest victory of the year. The Maynard girls’ second team also took an easy win from the Marl- boro Seconds in a one-sided game. Maynard 40 — Marlboro 18 The Maynard girls defeated the Marlboro girls for the second time this year, when they trounced their opponents by the score of 40-18 in a listless game at the high school gym- nasium in a return game. This was only a repetition of the first game be- tween these rivals; for Maynard scored at will throughout, and it was only a matter of how high the girls could bring their number of points. Hudson 14 — Maynard 13 In a preliminary game to the boys’ game at Hudson on Washington’s Birthday, the Maynard girls suffered their first defeat of the year in a game that was replete with thrills. Imagine a game with forty-five fouls, twenty-four for one team and twenty- one for the other, and you will have a good picture of this contest. Of the points tallied by both sides, Hudson scored only two floor baskets and Maynard one, all the rest of the 24 THE SCREECH OWL points being scored from the foul line. Hudson took an early lead in the first half and was never headed, al- though the score was tied at the be- ginning of the last period. Because of the numerous fouls, the playing of both teams was not up to standard, and excitement was at its height among the spectators. When Hudson was still in the van at the final whis- tle, the place turned into a mad-house, as the victory was sweet revenge for the Hudson girls. Maynard 24 — Clinton 14 The Maynard High girls brought their regular season to a close at the high school gymnasium on March 1st by whipping the Clinton girls to the tune of 24-14. Showing the power that brought them through the sea- son with only one defeat, the local sextet completely outplayed the wearers of the Clinton High School colors in a game in which the victors retaliated in great style after the heart-breaking defeat at Hudson the week before. A Wonderful Season! The girls’ basketball team this year gained a wonderful reputation for themselves on the court by going through the season with only one de- feat, and that by one point. With a sharp-shooting forward line composed of Capt. Catherine Coughlan, Dorothy Marsden, and Violet Koskela, May- nard had nothing to fear as to scor- ing points; and with a defense made up of Eleanor Lawson, Helen Sczer- zen, and Edith Perkins, they raised havoc with their opponents. The best news of all, however, is that the squad will lose only two players by graduation. One regular, Edith Perkins, and Marguerite Tier- ney, first rate substitute, will receive diplomas in June. Prospects for next year, then, could not be better; for of this great team Coach George Rup- precht will again have five regulars and all but one of his substitutes. It does not have to be said that every- one wishes next year’s team the best of luck. “Believe It or Not” . . . “i 2 cup milk, 3 eggs, and 1 teaspoon of your favorite flavoring. Do not stir until all ingredients are in, and then beat well. Please stand by.” “Station B-E-S-T Maynard High School. This program is being broad- casted to you through the courtesy of the Senior Class. Now, little folks, listen well, while Uncle John tells his stories, and then — off to bed. “The Senior Class had been study- ing and working exceedingly hard, and so when their teachers proposed that they should take a sleigh ride, they were not at all reluctant to go. “It was a beautiful, warm, silvery night. On such a night, ‘Thisbe fear- fully o’er tripped the dew?’ On such a night as this, stood Dido with a willow in her hand. On such a night as this, a cruel nail relieved its pent- up nerves by ruthlessly snatching a 3-cornered piece of Gil Garland’s trousers. “The party left Maynard at seven- thirty. The Senior class is everlast- ingly in the debt of Joe Schnair, for he ran ahead of the horse and kept him going by holding some oats a yard from the poor dumby’s nose. “The destination of the riding school was “Dud’s”. There a luncheon was served to all. The official cream- pie tester was a member of the group. If ever you want any cream tested, please call Maynard 464. This gifted young man discovered some sour cream, and obtained another piece of pie for his client. “After the appetites of one and all had been appeased, the balky horse was allowed to have his own way and return home. When the party showed any semblance of becoming quiet, John Bellows livened it up with ‘Who cares for wife?’ “Many a mustard bath was taken that night, and many a mother feared that her ‘sonny-boy’ would have caught his ‘death of cold’ when he ar- rived home at ? P. M. (Post Mortem). “Please stand by, for one moment, and the High School Orchestra will play, ‘Turn On the Heat’.” The Christmas Social The Senior Class breezily awoke old M. H. S. with a bang-bang of a social on December 19. “Mary” Christmas was there, and coupled with “John Pep,” gave everyone a jolly good time. When Santa Claus said “Cheerio”, bah jove, all the mice be- gan to squeak (meaning, everyone laughed), but when Helen Bakun got her dolly, “not a creature was stir- ring — not even the mice.” Refreshments were served in the gymnasium, free — (free of all germs). The social closed at the dong of eleven o’clock, Eastern Standard Time. 26 THE SCREECH OWL Now, everyone give three cheers for the Senior Class, and hope for some more sure, safe and sane socials, but full of rollicking, rip-roaring, riotous fun. A NOVELTY DANCE The Juniors snatched many laurels from the Seniors when they held their “Novelty Dance.” The novelty lay in the entertain- ment. There was a one act play in which Denis Famell, a battling cow boy, succumbed to the wiles of “Wild Nell”, our Leona Dudzinski. Harriet Frye was an Indian chief and Helvi Pietila her squaw. The part of the society lady was taken by Sirkka Lehtinen. Ruth Hull sang a few songs, and Marion Hines and Mae Newman, “Broadway Babies”, danced. Variety is the spice of life, and on leaving, the report was that “a good time was had by all!” “THE GOOSE HANGS HIGH” The Senior Class again put its best foot forward and successfully pro- duced “The Goose Hangs High.” The action centered about the Ingals family. Little Wieno Sneck played the part of the aristocratic grandmother ; Gilbert Garland and Alice Fearns were Mr. and Mrs. Ber- nard Ingals, indulgent parents; the younger generation was composed of Norman Walker, the eldest son, who, by the way, was the fiance of Doris Dawson, and the twins, Ruth Broad- bent and John Bellows. Helen Mark was a domineering cousin of the In- gals family, who allowed her only son, George Weaving, no joy. Alec Kule- vich was a friend of the family, and the part of the domineering politic- ians were taken by Eino Ketola and Wilho Frigard. Dorothy Allen played the part of the beloved family maid. Much thanks is due to Beau (a chow). Modest creature! He took one look at the audience and departed. Everyone wonders who Father Time was. When the curtain had been down for about two minutes showing a lapse of time and was rising again, there was a flash of green across the stage. Evidently “Tempus fugit.” The goose was in a delectable state and everyone left the hall with a good taste in his mouth. Alice Fearns, ’BO. AMONG OUR MUSICIANS At the concert of the All New Eng- land High School orchestra, composed of two hundred and fifty High School pupils, which is to be given at Sym- phony Hall, Boston, in April, the fol- lowing will represent Maynard High School : Alric French Harold Johnston Jennie Bygot Taimi Nyland As We See Others “Beall High Chime,” Beall High School, Frostburg, Maryland. Each issue marks a decided im- provement in your paper. From the many clubs, we assume that you have a very sociable student body. “The Echo”, Winthrop High School, Winthrop, Mass. Your paper is very interesting. We think that the “As the School Sees It” column is an specially good idea for a paper. “Whittier-Town Sentinel,” Amesbury, Mass. Your paper is improving. Congratu- lations on the good work. We hope to hear from you again. “B. H. S. News,” Beverly, Mass. We are glad to include you on our exchange list. May we suggest more literary articles for improvement? “School Spirit,” David Hale Fanning Trade School, Worcester, Mass. Your paper is well developed. We liked your literary and joke depart- ments especially well. “The Hebronite”, Hebron, Nebraska. We are glad to hear from you again. We notice that your paper is still keeping up the good work. An exchange column, however, would be a decided improvement. “Brown and Gold,” Haverhill High School, Haverhill, Mass. Your paper is a well developed one. Your humor is fine and each depart- ment is complete in itself. “Signboard”, Bay Path Institute, Springfield, Mass. We are glad to include you on our exchange list. We thought the “Would You Think It” column was especially good. “Charlton High School High Lights”, Charlton City, Mass. We enjoyed your “Funnyville Col- umn” and thought it contained much original humor. We think if you en- larged your exchange department it would add to your paper. “The Voice”, Concord High School, Concord, Mass. We are glad to hear from you again. We are interested in the penmanship lessons in your paper and think the idea quite a novelty. 28 THE SCREECH OWL ‘‘The Distaff”, Girls High School, Boston, Mass. We enjoyed your stories and prize essay. May we suggest a few more jokes to increase the humor? “The Cony Cue”, Cony High School, Augusta, Maine. Congratulations on a remarkable paper. Your joke and poem depart- ments are well arranged, and the cuts make your paper exceptionally attrac- tive. “Enterprise”, Memorial High School, Boston, Mass. Congratulations on your inter esting short stories! Your paper is well de- veloped. May we suggest a few more jokes for improvement? “Reflector”, North Kingston High School, Wickford, R. I. The “Reflector” is a well organized paper. The cuts in it make it very at- tractive. Keep up the good work! The Screech Owl gratefully ac- knowledges the receipt of other papers that we have received this year: The “Blue Moon”, Chelmsford High School, Chelmsford, Mass. “Port Light”, Phineas Banning High School, Wilmington, California. “Golden Rod”, Quincy High School, Quincy, Mass. “The Observer”, Ansonia High School, Ansonia, Conn. “The Noddler”, East Boston High, East Boston, Mass. “The Oriel”, Westboro High School, Westboro, Mass. “The Owl”, Middletown High School, Middletown, N. Y. “The Academy Student”, St. Johns- bury, Vermont. “The Parrot”, Rockland High School, Rockland, Mass. Humor from the Exchanges Eleanor Dean: “What did mother skunk say to baby skunk when they came upon a dog?” Betty Sturgis: “What did she say?” Eleanor Dean: “Let us spray (let us pray).” Next came the Freshman who blushed everytime he saw a table leg. Miss Brock: “When Jonah was swallowed by the whale what did the whale say?” T. Libby: “HI bite.” Ruth: “Why was there no card playing on the ark?” Ruth: “Because Noah sat on the deck.” Delia: “Why is a man like tooth paste ?” Lorraine: “Because you have to squeeze him to get anything out of him.” “Eavesdropping again,” said Adam as his playmate fell out of the apple tree. “Mother, was your name Pullman before you married Daddy?” asked little Jack. “No, dear,” replied the mother, “what makes you think so?” “Well, I just wondered. I saw that name on most of our towels.” A professor of math calls 8781 on the phone: “Give me five multiplied by two, add two, divide by four; seven; the square of four, halved; take one eighth of latter answer ; and make it snappy.” He: “I’ve had this car for five years and never had a wreck.” She: “You mean you’ve had this wreck for years and never had a car.” The Wise Old Owl Would Like to Know: 1. With whom Louise went walking during vacation. 2. If Howie King ever uses his lunch box. 3. If Phil Wilson knows his way to Fletcher Corner and back yet. 4. Who the three musketeers are who took Lorraine home one eve- ning. 5. What happened to Garland ' s satin breeches the night of “Pinafore . 6. If Miss Sheldrick ever practiced her stage exit in the Senior Play. 7. If “Micky” Newton and “Rowly” Dawson like Valentine Parties? (And why!!!!!!) 8. If Garland had a “ripping” good time on the sleigh party. 9. If Taimi Nyland had a good time at the Stow Prom. 10. Where Kelley got his material for the debate on “Prohibition.” Mis-Information Bureau Best-looking Boy — Daniel Meloro. Best-looking Girl — Laura Aho. Most Gullible — Mr. Gifford. Most Punctual — Edward Hannon. Teacher ' s Pet — Stanley Sokolowski. School Vampire — Wieno Sneck. School Clown — Harold Ledgard. Most Studious — Mark Newton. Most Pleasing — James Duggan. Most Diligent — Ahti Frigard. Most Polite — John Horan. Best Football Player — Francis Keir- stead. School Shiek — Sulo Hintsa. Best Chauffeur — Donat Gagne. Most Bashful Freshman — Millard Swett. Bolonius, ' 30. Advice to the Love-lorn Beatrice Barefax “Dear Miss Barefax: I have recently had a falling out with my girl. Shall I be the one to make up? N. N.” Ans. No; a woman is more profi- cient in cosmetics. “Dear Miss Barefax: I wish to marry a man of high po- sition. Where can I find one? Helen M.” Ans. Call Kenmore 9000 for a flag- pole sitter. “Dear Miss Barefax: My boy friend will be released from Charlestown prison in two weeks. He wants to marry me then. Shall I con- sent? Julia L.” Ans. No ; let him enjoy his freedom for a while. “Dear Miss Barefax: Shall I marry when the golden op- portunity affords? Sam G.” Ans. Depends on the gold in the opportunity. 30 THE SCREECH OWL “Dear Miss Barefax: I do not believe in modernism. When my boy friend offers me a Camel, what shall I do? Katie B.” Ans. Be nonchalant — smoke a Murad. “Dear Miss Barefax: I used to live at Old Orchard and had many sailor boy friends. Now, since I have moved I feel so lonely. Am I love sick? Connie.” Ans. No; sea-sick! They laughed at me as I approached the piano. But, I was determined to show them. I gave the piano stool a quarter-turn. Then I pushed it aside. I stared the piano up and down. Still they laughed at me. But, I was calm. Suddenly the harsh sounds of splint- ering wood filled the room. I had lost my senses. I had gotten my corres- pondence course instructions on “Muscle Building in Your Home,” mixed with “Play the Most Difficult Piano Music, in a Month, With Our Easy Course.” J. Bellows, ’30. Denis and Bradford went fishing one day. They went up river quite a way. They struck a good spot and anchored the boat. After catching a good string of sun-fish they decided to leave. Bradford thought it was a good spot so he said to Denis: “Gee, this is a good place. You’d better mark it so we can come here again.” They pulled up anchor and when they got near the shore Bradford said: “Of course you marked it when I told you.” “Yes,” replied Denis, “I put a cross on the side of the boat.” “You fool!” shouted Bradford, “How do you know we’ll get the same boat tomorrow?” The Wise Old Owl has, after seeing the way the students have suffered for the last four years, decided t o have money appropriated for the fol- lowing improvements in the high school : 1. Running hot water. 2. Smoking rooms for those who cannot wait. 3. Rest rooms for those who take Physical Education. 4. Softer mats under the parallel bars. 5. Escalators from the first to the second floor. 6. Some robots to clean up after the Chemistry class. 7. More interesting books for the library. 8. A book of etiquette for ready reference. 9. A good watch to be loaned to Albert Foster for the rest of the school year. 10. Inkwells that won’t spill. Harold Wilcox, ’30. Books Dedicated to “Prince and Pauper” Walker and “Jakie” “The Golden Fleece” Red Lanigan “Smokey, the Cowhorse” Charlie Chandler “A Man for the Ages” Horan “Les Miserables” The Trig. Class “The Great Impersonation” Wilho Frigard “The Perfect Gentleman” Nicky Meloro “Vanity Fair” Ruth Broadbent “Three Musbeteers” Gillie, George, and Philip “Three Minutes to Go” Albert Foster “The Wicked Angel” Catherine Coughlan “The Light that Failed” Harold Wilcox “Wings” A. Young “The Art of Thinking” Mark Newton ‘The Card Board Lover” Mike Zaporeski ‘La Chute” Sula Hintsa ‘All Aboard” Donat Gagne olonius, ’30. H. Lerer, ’30. I THE SCREECH OWL 31 Epitaph of Our M. H. S. Drivers George Gutteridge lies under this thistle; He didn ' t heed the choo-choo ' s whistle ! And here ' s what ' s left of “Burtie small, He paid no attention to slow signs at all. Under this stone lies Alice Fearas, She turned right on the left hand turns ! Here are the remains of “Perky , Going around the corner, the car got jerky! D. Dawson, ' 30. At ninety miles drove “Swat , The motor stopped, but he did not ! Misplaced Slogans Onyx Hosiery — “Best in the long run. Here lies all that ' s left of “Gil ; At the Railroad crossing he didn ' t stay still! Here lies the body of Howard K. Who died maintaining his right of way. Too fast she drove, fair Julia; Now the angels sing “Hallelujah! Otis Elevators — “Good to the last drop. Klaxon — “His master ' s voice. Ford — “I ' d walk a mile for a Camel. Fatima — “I’s in town, Honey. Ivory Soap — “There’s a reason. Listerine — “What a whale of a differ- ence just a few cents make. Mohawk Rugs — “Save the surface and you save all. Old Lady: “What is the title of this Boy: “Mother, what are the holes picture, dear?” in the board for?” Daughter: “ ‘Dogs’ after Sir Edwin Mother: “Those are knot holes.” Landseer.” Boy (after due consideration) : Old Lady : “I can see the dogs, but “Well, if they are not holes, what are where on earth is Landseer?” they?” Backy: “My brother is quite theat- rical! Next week he’s taking part in a Shakespeare play at college!” Gilman: “Which of his plays is it?” Backy: “He mentioned the name of it, but I’m not sure whether it’s “If You Like It That Way’ or ‘Nothing Much Doing’.” Duggan : “Can you give me a more elegant rendering of the sentence, ‘The sap rises’.” Horan : “The boob gets out of bed.” Sulo: (to clerk): “I would like to see a bathing suit that will fit me.” Clerk: “So would I.” Alice : “I have a book you ought to read. Shall I lend it to you ?” Katie: “Heavens, no! I can’t even find time to read all the books I ought not to read !” One day in the other world beyond the Styx, Shakespeare happened to run full tilt with Bacon. “Who are you?” demanded Bacon, angrily. “I’m the man people think you are,” replied Shakespeare. My brother on the baseball team is nicknamed “Flu” because he’s catch- ing. She: “Are late hours good for one?” He: “No, but they’re good for two.” McAndrew: “Hooray! The wind has changed.” Convalescent Wife: “Well, now, what of it?” McAndrew: “Ye ken the doctor said ye needed a change of air.” Mrs. Bluster: “I see Algy is on the scrub team.” Mrs. Fluster: “Oh, dear, and the poor thing would never even wash his ears at home.” Why Professors Go Mad Prof.: “Where is Washington?” Frosh: “He’s dead.” Prof.: “I mean the capital of the United States.” Frosh: “Oh, they lent it all to Europe.” THE SCREECH OWL 33 Him: “You know what I admire in you most?” Her: “No, what is it?” Him: “Your wonderful eyes.” Her: “Know what I admire in you ?” Him: “What?” Her : “Your exquisite taste.” Chorus Leader: “What shall we sing for an encore?” Wise-cracker: “Sing the same song, they’ll never recognize it.” A Scotchman sued a baseball com- pany for injuries incurred while at- tending a baseball game. He fell out of a tree. wh: Billy Joyce: “I know a girl who plays piano by ear.” Baker Crowley: “’Snothing — I know an old man who fiddles with his whiskers.” Teacher (reading a new play to a class) : “It was the witching hour of midnight. A white hand appeared out of the darkness. Two white robed figures stole along the corridor and the clock struck one.” Bellows: “Which one?” New quotation from Hamlet (ac- cording to Djerkacz) : “The king shall drink to Hamlet’s better breath And in the cup an onion shall he throw.” “Red” Lanigan: “I say, salesper- son! Is this the mirror department?” Salesperson: “Yes, sir!” “Red”: “Well, I’d like to see some- thing odd in a mirror.” Salesperson: “Yes, sir; just take a look in this one, sir.” i 34 T H E S C R Bookseller: “This book will do half of your work for you.” Horan: “Then I’ll take two!” Proprietor: “Now, my boy, if a customer comes in and wants to look at a piano, flute, or banjo, you’ll know what to show him.” Boy: “Yes, sir!” Proprietor: “And if a customer should want to see a lyre — ” Boy (interrupting) : “I’ll send at once for you, sir!” Teacher: “How many can go to the globe and point out the place where Hoover has gone for his vacation ?” Pupil: “I can.” Teacher: “Go and point it out then.” Pupil: “Where is the newspaper.” Historian: “Do you mean to say you have never heard of the May- flower compact?” June: “No, what is it, a new Djer- Kiss product?” “Horse”: “Was she shy when you asked her age?” “Ping”: “Yes, I imagine, about ten years.” Yesterday we heard positively the last one on our friend, the absent minded professor. He slammed his wife and kissed the door. Leon: “Aren’t you nearly ready, dear?” Ruth: “I wish you wouldn’t keep asking that question, Leon. I’ve been telling you for the past hour I’d be ready in a minute.” Well meaning Hostess: “Now, Dug- gan, you need never again tell us you can’t sing! We know now.” E E C H OWL She: “When we’re married I’ll share all your troubles and sorrows!” He: “But I have none.” She: “I said, when we are mar- ried.” He: “But Helen, on what grounds does your father object to me?” Helen: “On any grounds within a mile of the house. ” Sirkka: “If wishes came true what would be your first?” Al: “I would wish, oh, if I only could tell you.” Sirkka: “Go on, what do you think I brought up wishing for?” Louise: “Gilbert, why don’t you propose ?” Gilbert: “Somehow, I can’t bring myself to do it, Louise.” Louise: “It’s only a short sentence, Gil.” Gilbert: “But it’s a sentence for life!” Sheeny: “I don’t believe half I see in print!” Miss Field: “Judging from your spelling that must include what you see in the dictionary.” Laura: “I have an appetite like a canary.” Sophie: “Yes, you have. You eat a peck at a time.” Senior: “I have a good job down the five and ten.” Junior: “What do you do?” Senior: “Milk chocolates.” R. Paul : “Did y ou know that, Socko talks in his sleep?” A. Paul: “No, does he?” R. Paul: “It’s true — he recited in class today.” ASSABET INSTITUTION FOR SAVINGS ANNOUNCING A New Spring Suit Development All Suits At One Price $27.50 Deposits Go On Interest the First Business Day of Each Month RECENT DIVIDEND 5 % Nason Street Maynard IT PAYS TO BUY AT RAINVILLES FOR STYLE IT PAYS TO BUY AT RAINVILLE S FOR QUALITY IT PAYS TO BUY AT RAINVILLE S FOR PRICE RAINVILLES The Live Store 30 Nason Street Maynard SATURDAY NIGHT SOCIALS Co-operative Hall, Maynard COMING ATTRACTION KARLE RHODE AND HIS STATE BALLROOM ORCHESTRA Wednesday, May 7th 10 — MEN — 10 6 Prizes Given Away Free DANCING 8-1 1.50 P. M. M. I. DEARBORN When patronizing our advertisers, please mention “THE SCREECH OWL” FRATERNITY, COLLEGE and CLASS JEWELRY Commencement Announcements and Invitations Jeweler to the Junior Class of Maynard High School L. G. BALFOUR COMPANY MANUFACTURING JEWELERS STATIONERS Attleboro, Mass. J. A. MacPHERSON COMPLIMENTS OF Headquarters for GEORGE H. Stall Dean Sporting Goods GUTTERIDGE 15 NASON ST. MAYNARD, MASS. BASEBALL EQUIPMENT TENNIS RACKETS ▼ BATHING SUITS GOLF SUPPLIES Watches, Clocks, Diamonds Tel. 365 Jewelry, Cut Glass Next door to P. O. and Silver Maynard, Mass. When patronizing our advertisers, please mention “THE SCREECH OWL” BYRON LUMBER COMPANY LUMBER— BUILDING MATERIAL— HARDWARE B. P. S. PAINTS— VARNISHES— BRUSHES NASON and ACTON STREETS MAYNARD, MASS. TELEPHONE 183 JOHN C. KING AGENCY Insurance and Bonds FOWLER BUILDING Tel. 75-2 74 MAIN STREET MAYNARD, MASS. THE LAUNDRY DOES IT BEST Laundry-washed clothes are cleaner MIDDLESEX FAMILY LAUNDRY TELEPHONE 400 MAYNARD, MASS. When patronizing our advertisers, please mention “THE SCREECH OWL” Burdett College Recommends that young people contemplating a business career finish first their high school course, later entering college or busi- ness school as their fitness or need may require. Burdett College is interested in graduates of the Classical, Scientific, General, and Commercial Courses who are farsighted enough to see that a high school education supplemented by additional, more highly specialized training is the best preparation for a useful business career. For young men Burdett College offers intensive two-year courses of college grade: Business Administration and Accounting — for young women. Executive Secretarial and Normal Commercial Courses. Also specialized Office Management, Bookkeeping, Stenographic and Finishing Courses for those wishing a business training in shorter time. Distinctive features of Burdett College are : individual attention — able faculty — exceptional preparation — desirable student asso- ciates. Students attending come from universities, colleges, lead- ing high schools and academies — sixteen men’s colleges being rep ' resented in the Business Administration Course alone during the present school year. For illustrated catalogue — sent without obligation — address F. H. BURDETT. President 156 STUART STREET BOSTON, MASS; HANCOCK 6300 A BUSINESS SCHOOL of COLLEGIATE GRADE Burdett College, by Its tr anting, personal guid- ance, and placement serv- ice, has assisted thou- sands of young men and women to positions of in- fluence — the calls from business employers total- ling 2869 during the past year. New Burdett College Building LERER’S THE LEADING STORE OF MAYNARD NEW SPRING STYLES NOW ARRIVING Men’s and Young Men’s Topcoats and Suits Women’s and Misses’ Coats, Dresses and Ensembles It Will Pay You to See Us Before Buying Your New Outfit When patronizing our advertisers, please mention “THE SCREECH OWL” v a