Maynard High School - Screech Owl Yearbook (Maynard, MA)

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28 THE SCREECH OWL Bunny : I’ve brought this book back. Mother says it isn’t fit for me to read. Bookseller: I think your mother must be mistaken. Bunny : Oh, no, she isn’t ! I’ve read it through. Sczerzen: My poems will be read fifty years from now. Friend : Why, the editors won’t keep them that long, will they? Father: But Louise is too young to marry, young man. She’s just barely a Miss. Gilbert : She may seem that to you, but she’s a hit with me. Tynne: “I do so love soldiers. Oh! Pie, why are you not a son of Mars?” Pie: “Well, I’m doing my best to be her son-in-law, ain’t I?” “Why does the Professor have all those letters tacked on to his name?” “That shows that he got there by degrees.” A Freshman and a Sophomore run- ning opposite way struck each other. Soph: How you made my head ring. Frosh : That’s a sign it’s hollow. Soph: Didn’t yours ring? Frosh: No. Soph: That’s a sign its cracked. Art Instructor: “You have a won- derful talent for painting?” M. H. S. Girl: “How interesting? How can you tell?” Art Instructor: “I can see it in your face.” Torppa: Use your head coming up the stairs, Zaporeski. Zaporeski: I just washed it and don’t want to get it dirty again. Wilcox: Do you know the differ- ence between your girl and mine? Kulevitch: No, what’s the differ- ence? Wilcox: Well, my girl is a vision and yours is a sight. Foster: Would you drink out of a glass of water after a dog ? Weaving : No, because there wouldn’t be any left. Teacher: “Evelyn, use officious in a sentence.” Evelyn: “When Mary and John fell in the brook they called, ‘Oh fish us out.’ ” Judge: The speed limit sign read “Fifteen miles an hour.” College student: But how could I read it when I was going forty! “Children,” said a teacher, “be dili- gent and steadfast, and you will suc- ceed. Take the case of George Wash- ington. Do you remember my telling you of the great difficulty George Washington had to contend with?” “Yes, m’am,” said a little boy. “He couldn’t tell a lie.” Teacher: (to a 7-year-old) So you have broken off a tooth have you? How did you do it? 7-year-old: Oh, shifting gears on a lollipop. Fond Mother: My son has many original ideas, hasn’t he? Teacher: Yes, especially in spelling. Hippy: That’s some car you have! How many seasons has it seen? Alec: I don’t know exactly, but its had two falls and more than a dozen springs.

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THE SCREECH OWL 27 Trials of a Movie Hero Director: Here’s where she faints in your arms. Get ready to grab her. That’s the pose. Hold it. Leading man: If you mean Miss Heavysides, remember “It” weighs a hundred and eighty pounds. Scotty: Louie says that you don’t count at all with him. Mary: No, he must have kissed me a hundred times but I didn’t count. New Lessons on Proposal Hippy : They have a wonderful new altar at the new church. Would you like to see it ? Helen: Lead me to it. “Miss, may I have your name and address ?” “Isn’t it enough to bump into me on a ballroom floor.” “It’s the custom to exchange names in case of a collision.” Backy : My brother plays the saxo- phone. Gilman : That’s nothing, my brother’s a musician. Stew pan : I hear you got caught in the rain, Mr. Bell. Bell: Yes, and got ringing wet. Laura: “I’m going to write a book.” Horse (trying to be helpful) : “Oh! don’t do that honey, I’ll buy you one. ’Nuff Ced! Ruth Bradley: “Why I’ll bet you don’t know the difference between a camel and a dromedary.” Jane: “Humph.” The Scotchman doesn’t roll his own, he rolls somebody elses. Easter found many people en- sembled in church. Smitty: Is it true that you are en- gaged to three other men beside me- Sirkka: Why? Smitty: Well, I was thinking that we might raise a subscription to buy you an engagement ring. “You are nice enough to eat,” said Sheeny, As on the beach they sat. “The mosquitoes think I am,” said Katie, “They’re giving proof of that.” “Father!” cried the son of the ab- sent minded professor, “There’s a bug on the ceiling.” The professor, busy reading at the time, answered without raising his eyes from his book: “Step on it and leave me alone.” Backy: Every time I learn some- thing I store it away. Ty: Well, I hope you learn how to play your saxophone. English Prof: You have read Dumas, haven’t you? Co-ed : Good gracious, are they showing ? First Deb: I shall never be able to marry a lot of money, I’m afraid, be- cause I simply haven’t any appeal for old men. Second Deb: Don’t give up Darling, you’ll make the grayed some day.

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THE SCREECH OWL 29 Hippy : I say, darling, I have tickets for the theatre. Helen : Splendid. Fll start dressing. Hippy: Yes, do dear. They are for tomorrow. Alice : Nothing is ever lost through politeness. Alec: I don’t know about that. I lost a perfectly good seat in the sub- way that way. College man: Gee, I haven’t shaved for a week. High School boy: I haven’t shaved for sixteen years. Teacher: What does series mean? Student: I don’t know. Teacher: What does serial mean? Student: Oh! It’s a food.