Maynard High School - Screech Owl Yearbook (Maynard, MA)

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Irate parent (6.00 A. M.) : What do you mean by bringing my daughter home at this hour? Youth: Well, I gotta be at work at 7. “You naughty child. Do you know where little boys go who don’t put their money in the collection plate?” “Yes Mam. To the movies.” Class photographer: Your son ordered these photographs from me. Senior’s father: They certainly are very much like him. Has he paid for them yet? Class photographer: No, Sir. Senior’s father: That is still more like him. Mary: What is your object in kiss- ing so much? Chuck T.: You. Shop girl : “So you are shopping for an adding machine?” M. H. S. pupil’s mother: “Yes, poor Junior has been having so much trouble with his arithmetic lessons.” The paths of glory lead but to a cigarette test. Sandy: Aye, Jack, I read a fine story in a magazine th’ ither day about — Jack: So ye’ve been visiting the dentist too, hae ye, Sandy. Remember when this used to be a dirty crack? “With a voice like yours, you ought to be in the movies.” Horse : Did you see this item about a hen adopting a litter of pigs ? Bertie: Well, there’s nothing un- natural in the association of ham and eggs. “Still engaged to that telephone girl?” “No, it’s a case of ring off.” She: (cryly) If you had to marry before the clock struck midnight, what would you do? He: Stop the clock. Julia: But, Red, you swore that you’d never look at her again. “Red”: And I didn’t. I met her when it was pitch dark.

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THE SCREECH OWL 25 THE WISE OLD OWL WOULD LIKE TO KNOW: Why Walker and Glickman like dramatics ? What the Post Office is for? Where “Zip” Hearon learned to sprint ? Why George Weaving likes West Concord ? If Ellsworth Dearborn and A. Young are going to be aviators or traveling salesmen? Who will get the extra dish of ice cream at the senior banquet? What college “Steamer” is going to, and if he is going to be a history teacher ? Who broke the photographer’s camera ? If Ralph Smith takes “Home Eco- nomics” or takes home girls? When Swartz will make another hole-in-one ? Who took the key to the type- writer ? When the Academic students are going looking for work? Why Mosher makes so much noise ? Why Mary Kane keeps so quiet ? Who asked the color of the purple mountains ? Who read “Romeo and Juliet?” Why Foster picked his right wrist to break, and why he picked the month of June to do it in? What happened to the tonic left over from the Junior Social? If Joe Sczerzen likes to write poetry ? Why Howard King is taking a P.G. Course ? 1. Which Junior boy read “Beau Geste?” 2. Who is in favor of final exams, and why? 3. Why the Freshman class color isn’t green? 4. What time the Seniors will get home from the Reception? 5. If Pie Brayden’s car is ever seen parked in the vicinity of Puffer’s Pond? 6. If Wooldridge and King have made any more chlorine gas? 7. How the Seniors were able to tell their own pictures? 8. If amateur athletes should be allowed to play summer baseball for pay? 9. Whose party Walker attended during the week of the Prom vaca- tion? 10. Where Burt Gruber got the reputation of being a fierce batter, and how? 11. Where “Joe” Sczerzen and “Red” Lanigan” got their white pants ? 12. Why Walker didn’t enter the 6 % mile run ? He said he did Hudson and back one day. 13. Where all the Junior girls go Sunday night in whose green car? 14. Why “Ty” Brayden stays near home Sunday night? 15. When “Pie” Brayden is going to get a new car?

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THE SCREECH OWL 27 Trials of a Movie Hero Director: Here’s where she faints in your arms. Get ready to grab her. That’s the pose. Hold it. Leading man: If you mean Miss Heavysides, remember “It” weighs a hundred and eighty pounds. Scotty: Louie says that you don’t count at all with him. Mary: No, he must have kissed me a hundred times but I didn’t count. New Lessons on Proposal Hippy : They have a wonderful new altar at the new church. Would you like to see it ? Helen: Lead me to it. “Miss, may I have your name and address ?” “Isn’t it enough to bump into me on a ballroom floor.” “It’s the custom to exchange names in case of a collision.” Backy : My brother plays the saxo- phone. Gilman : That’s nothing, my brother’s a musician. Stew pan : I hear you got caught in the rain, Mr. Bell. Bell: Yes, and got ringing wet. Laura: “I’m going to write a book.” Horse (trying to be helpful) : “Oh! don’t do that honey, I’ll buy you one. ’Nuff Ced! Ruth Bradley: “Why I’ll bet you don’t know the difference between a camel and a dromedary.” Jane: “Humph.” The Scotchman doesn’t roll his own, he rolls somebody elses. Easter found many people en- sembled in church. Smitty: Is it true that you are en- gaged to three other men beside me- Sirkka: Why? Smitty: Well, I was thinking that we might raise a subscription to buy you an engagement ring. “You are nice enough to eat,” said Sheeny, As on the beach they sat. “The mosquitoes think I am,” said Katie, “They’re giving proof of that.” “Father!” cried the son of the ab- sent minded professor, “There’s a bug on the ceiling.” The professor, busy reading at the time, answered without raising his eyes from his book: “Step on it and leave me alone.” Backy: Every time I learn some- thing I store it away. Ty: Well, I hope you learn how to play your saxophone. English Prof: You have read Dumas, haven’t you? Co-ed : Good gracious, are they showing ? First Deb: I shall never be able to marry a lot of money, I’m afraid, be- cause I simply haven’t any appeal for old men. Second Deb: Don’t give up Darling, you’ll make the grayed some day.