Maynard High School - Screech Owl Yearbook (Maynard, MA)

Page 17 text:

THE COLUMBIAD 15 ALL DUE TO A RHYME. From the moment .school opened there was a restless stir among the pupils. The girls in one corner were casting knowing glances at each other and laughing softly. At last sounded ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling, and then the teacher’s voice : “Be very quiet while I am gone.” Scaicely was the door shut when the mice began to play. “Here, Kate, just read this piece of poetry I wrote last night. Know who I mean?” whispered Mildred. “Is it as good as the one she wrote about me?” “Fine, give it to her. Be careful, Harry is eying us.” During this chattering a small red book passed hurriedly from one enthusiastic reader to another, until at length it came back almost to the owner, when there was a breathless pause, followed by an indignant young voice. “Harry Ward! Just give that book to me. Don’t you dare read it! Well, I don’t care. I think you’re the meanest boy living. Til never speak to you as long as I live if you don’t give me it this instant. So there !” “Well, isn’t this rich? What do you think a fellow is, anyway? Jingle! this is a fine little book.— Some poetess — Quite a collection! — Listen Jack : “ ‘Of all the girls in this wide world, There’s one more charming than a pearl. She is the darling of ’ ” Whack! A smart and frantic thrust with a ruler sent the little mischief- making book spinning down the aisle. “There, Harry Ward, see what you’ve done. Helen’s crying. I don’t see why you had to read that out loud. If I were a boy, I’d — ” The young poetess’ voice had risen almost to a shriek when suddenly the door opened. Then came silence and a teacher’s amazed voice: “What is the meaning of that uproar? What is Helen crying for? Come out of the room, Helen.” “After a few minutes Helen, a picture of discomfort, came back mop ping her eyes with a very wet handkerchief, but the teacher was still ig- norant of the cause of the excitement. One of the boys had captured the culprit book and was having such a good time over it that the teacher noticed how many anxious eyes glanced in his direction.

Page 16 text:

14 THE COLUMBIAD The world is old, yet likes to laugh, New jokes are hard to find : A whole new editorial staff Can’t tickle every mind. So if you meet some ancient joke Decked out in modern guise, Don ' t frown and call the thing a fake Just laugh — Don’t be too wise ! SENIORS’ ADVICE TO FRESHMEN. Beloved Freshmen: — [t is now the time of the year wKfcn things are not green or fresh, and so it is no wonder that we turn our attention to you who in school-life rep- resent the spring of the year. We must caution you, however, against feel- ing flattered by the interest we display in you, for we regard you exactly as we would a bed of young, green onions, namely with a hope for a rich har- vest, and we trust you will give our advice due consideration, realizing as you must, that we are giving the following rules only for your own benefit: 1. When you enter school, do not in any way deface the building or fixtures. 2. Do not, on peril of losing your teeth, dive for the water fountains in a body ; wait for vour betters to satisfy their thirst. 3. Do not object to shampoos, etc., but console yourself with the thought that a barber might do worse and charge you for doing it. 4. Do not burden your infantile minds with too much work, remem- bering that carrying books home at night causes them to wear out long before their time. We know. One more thing — Keep your eyes and thoughts from that part of the room occupied by your female sufferers. You as children may surely play with them at making mud-pies during your leisure hours but that will not learn your algebra.

Page 18 text:

16 THE COLUMBIAD “Please bring that book here.’’ The lad handed the teacher the book gingerly, to the amusement of the other boys and to the horror of the girls. “What trash ! I think the one who owns it would rather dispose of it himself, said the teacher sharply. Mildred reddened but walked bravely up, took the book, tore it slowly into tiny pieces, dropped them into the wastebasket, and then took her seat. A sigh of relief passed over the classroom. That night the naughty book with its foolish rhymes curled up in merry little flames, and then was no more. M. F. T6. Why is it best to keep the hens from the woodshed? So they will not eat the grain out of the wood. THE HIGH SCHOOL ORCHESTRA. In accordance with the annual custom, the High School is represented by an orchestra this year. There are at present two violins, a cornet, clarinet, drums, and piano. They have not played much this year owing to the lack of time for practice, but after the holidays they will again resume rehearsing The boys are all experienced and play well together, so that when they do start again the school will have fine music. What’s the difference between an auto, a lover, and a monkey? An auto is so dear, a lover is oh dear, and the monkey is yon dear. Heard in the Eng. Class. “Washington was the ‘executer’ of his brother Laurence. Miss I). — “The Avhat? Coffy — “Oh! the executor! Why didn’t our President see our Secretary the other night? Nightihus darkibus, no starorum ; Climibus fencibus — pants tororum.