Maynard High School - Screech Owl Yearbook (Maynard, MA)

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14 THE COLUMBIAD The world is old, yet likes to laugh, New jokes are hard to find : A whole new editorial staff Can’t tickle every mind. So if you meet some ancient joke Decked out in modern guise, Don ' t frown and call the thing a fake Just laugh — Don’t be too wise ! SENIORS’ ADVICE TO FRESHMEN. Beloved Freshmen: — [t is now the time of the year wKfcn things are not green or fresh, and so it is no wonder that we turn our attention to you who in school-life rep- resent the spring of the year. We must caution you, however, against feel- ing flattered by the interest we display in you, for we regard you exactly as we would a bed of young, green onions, namely with a hope for a rich har- vest, and we trust you will give our advice due consideration, realizing as you must, that we are giving the following rules only for your own benefit: 1. When you enter school, do not in any way deface the building or fixtures. 2. Do not, on peril of losing your teeth, dive for the water fountains in a body ; wait for vour betters to satisfy their thirst. 3. Do not object to shampoos, etc., but console yourself with the thought that a barber might do worse and charge you for doing it. 4. Do not burden your infantile minds with too much work, remem- bering that carrying books home at night causes them to wear out long before their time. We know. One more thing — Keep your eyes and thoughts from that part of the room occupied by your female sufferers. You as children may surely play with them at making mud-pies during your leisure hours but that will not learn your algebra.

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THE COLUMBIAD 13 4 P. M. with only Friday afternoons off. This does not give us much time to practice or to play games. It would be much better if the com- mercial department should have one session, especialy during the summer term. If that cannot be done, they could at least have Wednesday after- noons off. When you come to think it over, you will find that the two sessions contain only one hour more than one session, so that two sessions do not give time for very much more work than does one; while the one ses- sion plan gives opportunity for an education which will develop both intel- lect and physique. The lack of time for practice will make a great deal of difference in Base Ball season. If we can have time for practice every day and for games on Wednesdays and Saturdays we can safely assure you that M. H. S. will be represented by one of the strongest Base Ball teams in this section. So just remember this, dear reader, if you will put your shoulder to the wheel and give us encouragement (the kind we can buy supplies with) you will be surprised at the result. Give us the chance to make good and we will do the rest. What we want, in fact, is that the townspeople and the school board shall take the right sort of interest in the school athletics and help us give the old school a good name in the athletic world. Now is the time to show that you have some pride in your school — Athletic Editor. ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION FORMED. At a meeting of the boys of the High School an Athletic Association was formed with the following officers : President Harold Sullivan Vice-President Roy McCormack Secretary Arthur Millington Treasurers Gavin Taylor, Frank Maley It was voted to have a Basket Ball team with Joseph Dahl as manager and Donald Lent as captain. It has also been voted to have the High School represented in Hockey. Roy McCormack was elected manager and Donald Lent captain of the team.

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THE COLUMBIAD 15 ALL DUE TO A RHYME. From the moment .school opened there was a restless stir among the pupils. The girls in one corner were casting knowing glances at each other and laughing softly. At last sounded ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling, and then the teacher’s voice : “Be very quiet while I am gone.” Scaicely was the door shut when the mice began to play. “Here, Kate, just read this piece of poetry I wrote last night. Know who I mean?” whispered Mildred. “Is it as good as the one she wrote about me?” “Fine, give it to her. Be careful, Harry is eying us.” During this chattering a small red book passed hurriedly from one enthusiastic reader to another, until at length it came back almost to the owner, when there was a breathless pause, followed by an indignant young voice. “Harry Ward! Just give that book to me. Don’t you dare read it! Well, I don’t care. I think you’re the meanest boy living. Til never speak to you as long as I live if you don’t give me it this instant. So there !” “Well, isn’t this rich? What do you think a fellow is, anyway? Jingle! this is a fine little book.— Some poetess — Quite a collection! — Listen Jack : “ ‘Of all the girls in this wide world, There’s one more charming than a pearl. She is the darling of ’ ” Whack! A smart and frantic thrust with a ruler sent the little mischief- making book spinning down the aisle. “There, Harry Ward, see what you’ve done. Helen’s crying. I don’t see why you had to read that out loud. If I were a boy, I’d — ” The young poetess’ voice had risen almost to a shriek when suddenly the door opened. Then came silence and a teacher’s amazed voice: “What is the meaning of that uproar? What is Helen crying for? Come out of the room, Helen.” “After a few minutes Helen, a picture of discomfort, came back mop ping her eyes with a very wet handkerchief, but the teacher was still ig- norant of the cause of the excitement. One of the boys had captured the culprit book and was having such a good time over it that the teacher noticed how many anxious eyes glanced in his direction.