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Page 10 text:
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As I sat on the examining table, the doctor came into his office and read the test results silently. The disappointed look on his face let me know that they were not good. He walked over to the table and sat down beside me with a sympathetic smile. “What’s up Doc? What’s wrong with me?” I don’t know quite how to break this to you, son, but you ve got a severe case of what we medical professionals call spirit deficiency. You’ve got no pep or enthusiasm. I spotted the major symptoms when you first walked in. The torn jeans, messy hair, droopy eyes, chubby stomach, and your worn out look gave it away ...” What do you mean?” I asked. “Well, it’s obvious that you don't care how you look or feel. No offense, but you’ve got no pride, class or personality. In order to cure this BANNER YEAR vicious disease, you must visit an exciting, fashionable, fun, classy and SPIRIT-FILLED place for at least a week.” But doctor, where does a place like that exist? A place where people dress cool, feel good, have fun and lots of spirit- are you kidding me Doctor? “Why, not at all! Such a place is called Mattanawcook Academy! Look in their yearbook and see what I mean!”
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Page 11 text:
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I can see it now ... I'll find exciting sur- prises with my new found friends. Maybe I will even be a sports hero, magnifi- cent but humble. And if I break my leg or something, at least I can be a member of the exciting (and clumsy) Key Club. I’ll make new friends and meet interesting people. Maybe I'll even find my soulmate!
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