Martin Boots Junior High School - Sketch Yearbook (Marion, IN)

Page 45 text:

THE SKETCH 43 Paul Kruger, President of the Transvaal, once decided a dispute between two brothers about an inheritance of land in South Africa thus- Let one brother divide the land and let the other have first choice. When Raphael called on a friend and found him out he left neither his name nor a card but instead drew a circle on a piece of paper. His friends knew that only Raphael could draw a perfect circle free hand. John Grimshaw Wilkinson, blind botanist, lost his sight when he was 23, but he learned to distinguish flowers by touching them with the tip of his tongue. He could name instantly each of 5,000 specimens. Wfilliam Hickling Prescott, American man of letters, had his tailor mark his clothes with the exact number of ounces each garment weighed. When he awoke each morning, he asked what the temperature was, and dressed accordingly. Napoleon felt comfortable only in clothes that were too big for him. Marie Antoinette made popular a headdress so towering that doorways had to be made higher and ladies could no longer sit in their carriages, but had to travel kneeling on the floor. William Wilke, the Scottish Homer, wore as many clothes as he could hang on his frame and slept with a dozen blankets on his bed. Mark Twain despised pajamas and always wore a long nightgown. Anita Lourise is left-handed in everything she does except write her name. Mrs. Mattie Payne Blank, widow of a California physician, has driven her car across the continent several times accompanied by a dummy she has named Colonel Pottersby. The Colonel, which she created out of a laundry bag, a Hallowe'en mask, a hat and suit, has proved to be a perfect protec- tion against hitchhikers and suspicious characters. In an Ohio town is a colored man whose last name is Washington. Wash- ington is blessed with 3 sons. When the first son arrived, the father named him George Washington. A second son naturally was called Booker Washington. The third son, if he lives, will go through life as Spokane Washington.

Page 44 text:

42 THE SKETCH Queer Ducks When the Empress Josephine was informed that a woman she detested would, on a certain occasion, wear a dress of deep green, she had her drawing room hastily redecorated at a great cost-wallpaper, furniture coverings, and rugs-in a shade of blue that would make the green dress appear glaring and vulgar. The artist Whisler gratified a grudge against his Venetian landlady by angling for her goldfish, placed temptingly on a ledge beneath his window sill. He caught them, fried them and dropped them dexterously back into their bowl. A society editor being refused a guest list by a haughty lady, retaliated by describing her, year after year, at luincheons, teas, the operas and races as wearing the same lavender dress and picture hat she had worn at the time of the fatal interview. -Reader's Digest John Browning, a stone carver of Potter Hill, Rhode Island, has fashioned out of granite, life-sized statutes of the girls with whom he has had romances, and placed them in a cemetery lot. When her lover, the poet William Congreve, died, Henrietta, Duchess of Marlborough, had a life-sized effigy made exactly to resemble him and dressed as in life. This image sat opposite her at table and she talked to it by the hour. At regular intervals the king's doctor examined the feet for traces of gout, Congreve's old complaint. John D. Rockefeller borrowed a dime from his secretary one day to pay his bus fare home from his office. Be sure to remind me of this transaction, he said. Oh that's nothing, Mr. Rockefeller, replied the secretary. Nothing!,' exclaimed Rockefeller, why that's a whole year's interest on a dollar. Dr. Bruce Bruce Porter, famous English surgeon, once found a slowly dying girl reading a newspaper serial in which the heroine suffered from the disease she had. Hurrying to the author, he was told that the character died in the last installment. Dr. Bruce-Porter persuaded the writer to change the ending-and the serial's heroine and his patient both lived. Noel Coward recently telephoned Western Union a mildly humorous first night telegram for Gertrude Lawrence, a part of the fun being the sig- nature of Mayor LaGuardia. I'm sorry Western Union told him, but you're not allowed to sign a telegram that way. All right, said Mr. Coward, just sign it Noel Coward. Oh, that's just as bad, she said. But I am Mr. Coward, he said. In that case said the young lady, you can sign it Mayor La Guardia.

Page 46 text:

44 THE SKETCH Jokes English Teacher: Now I want you to tell me which of those words are singular and which are plural. Tommy, you take the Hrst, 'trousers'. Tommy Collins fafter deliberationj: Singular at the top and plural lower down, sir. Edgar McMullen fbroke buvt resourcefulj: Joanne, do you know the dif- ference between riding in a tram car and in a taxi? Joanne McKevitt: I'm afraid I don't. Edgar: Then we may just as well take a tram car. Dorothy McCain: What is your favorite sport? Young Doctor: Sleighing. Dorothy McCain: No, I mean apart from businessf' A good book-- The Case of the Missing Ring, or Who Washed the Bath Tub? What is that a picture of? asked a small tot. That's the Goddess of Liberty, replied Big Brother. you can always tell her cause she's got an ice cream cone in her hand. The Scandinavian had just arrived in California, delighted at the way his new car had withstood the trials and tribulations of the trip. How were the roads, Hans Vel, dis guy Lincoln vas a great engineer. But dat Frenchman, De- Tour, he vas no road builder a-tall. Dv In what way are four countries affected when the Negro waiter drops a platter with a turkey on it? 1. The down fall of Turkey. 2. The overflow of Greece. 3. The destruction of China. 4. The humiliation of Africa. Teacher: junior, use 'oiiicious' in a sentence. Jucnior Gamble: When Mary and John fell in the lake he hollered, 'Oh fish us out'. Justine Roseberry: I understood that Senator Green wanted you to act as his private secretary. Simmons: He did, but I was unwilling to accept such a positiong I would have had to sign every document 'Green per Simmons'. Bonnie Vickrey: Was your old man in comfortable circumstances when he died? Mrs. Flanagan: No, he was halfway under a train. Smart Man: Say, sonny what would you wish if you had just one wish? Joe Brower: I'd wish a wish that every time I wished a wish I could have the wish I wished.