Marston School - Howler Yearbook (Baltimore, MD)

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offered his services to, one of which is the Careful Culture of Conva- lescent Uhinamen. True to his ideals in improving the morals of his class in his former years at M. II. S., he is now making a. tinal nation- wide scourge to purify and promote a wider feeling of idealism. Mr. Stellman and William Jennings Bryan put many bills in Congress in behalf of their uplil't organizations. After many fruitless attempts I was linally granted an interview. My, how Edward had changed, his eyes had a heavenly expression: his hands were clasped as though he were debating a most lofty idea. Slowly turning around he did not recognize me at first, but suddenly, remembering his old classmate, he literally flew at me, flung his arms about my neck and would undoubt- edly have kissed me on the spot, had he ll0t see11 me chewing tobacco. Oh, he said with dignity. f'Ah, said I equally overcome. Sir, said he at le11gth, 'fyou are in the presence of one whom you owe a debt you can never repay. I mused a moment and then it recurred to me that I1 had borrowed ten cents from him in ancient years, but surely I could redeem this deficiency. I was on the verge of apolo- gizing when he continued. t'Since our latest bills have been duly sanc- tioned. by the leading factors of our Government, every 0110 should feel under the deepest obligationsft Indeed, I didn't feel under any ob- ligations, but was tempted to deliver a hard swift kick, but restrained myself. 1 had seen Cllllllgll, and passed out. Poor Dutch appeared to be a hopeless case. Dutch, the fellow who in former years was so cheerful, never showing signs of being over saintly, had come to this. Oh, take him away! I hoped I should never even hear of him again, but I did. Yes, five years more brought great changes i11 Edward's life. He was now marriedg a little offspring trailed after his steps and called him papa. I again paid my respects to the honorable, this time things were difl'erent. lvhen I peered into the room Dutch had his feet on the table, a pipe in his mouth, his offspring in his lap and in his hand the latest copy of the I'olice Gazette. Being an ordinary human being, I could not interpret the sudden decadence, or rather advance in Edward's nature. The question puzzled me more tllld more from day to day until I could stand it no longer, consequently I made an appointment with Dutch for the following afternoon. My curiosity was once more normal after our interview. for I found out that each man is generally compelled to make his money in one way or other. Dutch had made his millions in the uplift business.

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John had always been a great advocate ol' prohibition while in school and was now delighted with the opportunity of fighting booze. The Mexicans hailed him as their Billy Sunday, and nothing was too gooil for him. Largely through his inliuence Mexico was rapidly be- ing dried 11p illld threatened to become an even greater Sahara than the United States had been. It was now, however, .lohn's turn to fall. One of our neighbor's beautiful senoritas caught his eye and he fell hard for her. They were married as soon as John could arrange it and amid the best wishes of their Mexican friends, set out on life together. Alas, for .lohn's dry arguments. llis wife was the daughter of the largest vintner in the country. After many dinner table 2ll'QlIlll0lltS he was convinced as never before ol' the wrong of his cause. John had managed to scrape up a good deal of cash in his various dry campaigns, but this did not hinder him from resigning. l'i-omptly upon the acceptance ol' his resignation .Iohn resolved to return to Baltimore. Une day, soon after his return, I had the good fortune to run into him, and l could not help but notice the great change time had wrought. Itlis hair is just a trifle gray now and he has grown a mustache. Mrs. Sherwood makes him an ideal wife and to all outward appearances they seem to be one of the happiest couples l. have ever seen. Although l1e has many times been urged to enter the political field, each time he has refused, as he cares too much for his quiet family life. This member ot the class of 1918 is now a very successful business man, and I am glad to add that there seems to be no cloud on his horizon. lflnwixnn BRADLEY S'l'EliLMAN.-tx few years ago, back in 1949, while walking down Fifth Avenue, 'I' noticed a siguboard containing one poster which commanded my keenest attention for various reasons. The three predominating words held me spellbound: His lilminence, the Right Honorable Edward Bradley Stellman, G.H.V., l'.B.N.W.. B.B.B., etc., will address a mass-meeting of the Aged Ladies Chapter of the Society for the Suppression of Loose Talk. Later I discovered what the letters after his name represented. Guardian of the 1-Ielpless Virgins, President ol' the Blind .Night lV2ltClllll0l1, Beloved Brother of the Bricklayers. There are many other uplift societies which he has

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IGIHVIN IiENNE'l l' Youxu, Jn.-When called upon to lift the veils of the future for old Cy the prophet encounters many dilliculties. The foremost astrologers of our country have been consulted and have all plotted out his life, strange to say, ditlerently. Uyis jovial personalitv is a puzzle to all. 211111 no one can foretell exactly what his future is to bc. However, we shall do our best. Bennett Young was born under precisely the aspect of the heavens as Rip Van lVinkle and the Lotus Eaters. 'l'his probably explains his inability to reach school at 8.55. His easy-going way. however, is a blntf, for not only has he an immense amount of energy at call, but his placid exterior hides an ardent and impassioned soul. No one who has heard Cy recite geometry would imagine that he could gaze into ai maidenis eye and emit poetry by the kilometer. I The constellation of Pisces was also in its ascendency when Cv dropped in. This seems to indicate that he will cross many seas and visit strange climes. Accordingly: Upon graduating from school I-lennett immediately turned his thoughts towards the European war, and enlisted as soon as he at- tained his eighteenth year. After a few months of training he em- barked for France to fly over the German lines. Cy's nerve, which has always been his outstanding feature, and his readiness always to take a chance, helped him wonderfully in his work. Our former class- mate was soon the hero of France, and his fame was so widespread in Germany that mothers would frightelrtheir children by telling them of his fearful exploits. Our hero had downed his Gotha. One day he fell into their hands. Here again Cy's nerve aided him and as soon as he was in fit condition he determined to escape. His chance came one day whenihis guard had taken a few too many glasses of Pilsner. He rushed past the Hun, giving him a few kicks in return for past maltreatments. His adventures in traversing Germany certainly put it all over those of Pat 0'Brien. King George asked him to dinner upon his return to llondon. and complimented him on his prowess in escaping. Bennett immediately got back into the war. and although he did not tly any more, he did 'his bit in the conmiissary' department.