Marquette High School - Tatler Yearbook (Marquette, MI)

Page 81 text:

HUMOROUS I was au l.:utiuu tvzuuluvu' iuu thc High School. Oh! zu hitting tozucluor. 1'll hiro youu right :uwzuyg l hzuvu- zu houso QI wzuuut to phustor soon :uuucl could use at tow uuuorc good lattcusf' ll'hy. this is au hunguuzugc l'uuu spvzukiuug about! XY1'll kimhlo. l 1louu't lwlivvo l uouhl suit you, but youu sovuuu to lux- :u ruutluor fzuiu' lookvr with thoso luluo vyus. :unul lovzululu- nzutuuru-. :uuuul youu nuiglut uuuzukv zu hit :us au uuuoviv picture stzur, so I zutlvisu youu to svuuml in :uu uupluliwu- tiouu to one- ot' tho vouuupauuuiusf' tl'r4-sto just lilac tlu:ut.l Miss Young: Yvs. I tuuught history iuu tha- lligh Su-hool. :xlllt'l'lt'2lll llistory zuuuml otluvr kinds. Auuuvu'iv:uuu llistory? XYh:ut ulous it. szuy :uhouut num-Y l'uuu prvtty poli- ul:ur. Oh, or -ftllu, wx-ll. it has got. yt-s. :uluouut two vluzuuuh-u's on you vsluoviuul- ly. zuuutl au slum-viaul coluuuuuu iuu tho luzuvk for u'u-tl-uw-uuu'uus. l iuuv! Fiuuo! You'll mlo. Conn- right ovu-r hu-ro, :uuuul :ull youu uuowl to elo is this: ll'luvuu :u vustouuuvr 4-ounu-s iuu auuutl uuouuuphuiuus zuluout auuuytluing, tu-ll luiuuu wo just sm-ut it. or it's lu:-on ou'ul0u'v4l. annul uuoyor give- iuu. lliss Scott: ls tluis thu u'ost:uuuu'uuut7 l'ul likv to got zu job :us zu 4-ook. t'ouu0 right ilu: go nuzuko souuuu- piv right' zuwauyg wo not-rl 'vnu haul. All riglutj wlut-rv's :u uu0uux'ilY 'l'lu0ru- youu zurv tIl.l4ltii. lYluuut! You got tht-uuu tlouuu- zulrwuuly? No. :4,l4lli, Xl'luy, if youu gut thorn. wh:ut's tho uuuuuttn-u' with you? Couuuv. vouuuv! XXX-ll, what tho clivkvuus do our u-uustouuum-rs muro :uluout luow uuuzuuuy wo got! 'l'hu-y 4louu't wzuuut tho luzupvr: gin- tht-uuu souuut- pic to wut! Oh, rm-:ul pic. Woll. uuoyou' uuiuul. tio uuauko souuuo mlouug1huuu's. quu'c-li. Now whzlt :uro youu liguriuug lull? Nm-vt-r uuuiuurl thu sim of tho holosg tIu:lt's nothing :uny- w:uy. Uh uloaur. u':uuu't youu soul? By zulgchrau. x to thu' o luowvl' X to thx- l power, and in the sumo way zu, mloughuuut to the o power--I. And notluiuug whivh is uuotluiuug wouuhl lu- oquzul to tho hoh-. whivh is uuotluiugg tllttI't'l.Ul'L'. wluvuu youu out tho ulouugluuuut youu luzuyo souus-tluiuug loft. tio uuhoautl. Xlzukv souuuv. uuucl it' :ull tho vustouuuuurs lm-euro sonuvtluiug wc will haurv souuum-thiuug to uuuauku- haush out of for tho um-xt ulzuyf' Xow uuuuukv souuuo uuuzuvaurouuif 'vuuouuglu for four. My goouluu-ss, youu hauw to tigurv thaut too? lVluy yus. l luzuul to tiuucl thu- voluuuu- ot' out-Iu luiu-1-v ot' uuum-uuu'ouui iuu orwlvr to gut tho :uuuuouuuut for four. lluut souuuu- of tht- stir-ks of uuu:us':uu'ouui :urn- taulut-u'c-tl. so I haul to iigurv tluvuuu :us frustuuuus of vom-s iuu ormlor to gc-t tho vohuuuut-. l rustuuuu? You uns-:uuu t'rostiuu,g'? My goouluuu-ss lzurly, ycull ulouu't put frostiuug' on uuuzu-zurouui. tio uuwzuyl llouu't uuuauko us :ull t'l'2lZy1 l try to run zu u'ost:uuuu':uuut. uuot zu vrauzy houso! liuutvr Nliss tkuuuupln-ll: nfiilll 'I gt-t zu jolu luvro :ut this rt-st:uuu':uuut,Y l som- youu just liuval tho oooh. Aw you from thzut lulzuvo thoy raull tho lliglu Su'hoolY tiowauuu auwauy. X

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,, . 1? KT-W ' at fist N .' gikc L? 4' 'F 4 La SQUIRREL FOOD. This is an attempt to show how little the faculty of the High School really know oi' eonnnon every day sense outside of their own text books and to demonstrate the huge anlonnt they really laek and don't know about it. with apologies to the teachers if the attempt to demonstrate this tart is too strenuous. 'l'he following' is an attempt to show how the facul- ty would look when asking for il joh if the teavhing husiness should go out of date: I Mr. fllallam: I wa sinstruetor of a Class in llll'0llilIlll'S in the lligh School and had a 1-lass ol' boys doing' aetnal automobile work, and think l eould suitably lill a position here as master nieehanie or f0l'0Ill2lll.., Why, what did your class do, and how' nun-h experienc-e did you have when lll!4ll'lll'l'lllQ the Jaws? lYell. the boys overhauled an li. M. I . thoroughly and with practic- ally no help from nie exeepf, as floor walker. An li. M. l .? What kind of a ear is that ? 0h. it's an old model, eanie out in l9llS.'i lf-I'-I'-. Nay that again -1008. HuniflVell l'n1 afraid there an-n'tn enough of thoae old arks around' here to warrant nie keeping you as a. nie- ehanie. but l think you may do suitablyg maybe after two or three years ot' good faithful sa-rviee you can he advanr-ed. You seein to have an up- right and responsible nature anyway, so you can start right away to clean up those grease vans. and when you get through with that, piek over that si-rap pile in the alley. and UI'-l', if you find any old E. ll. Ffa in that pile be sure and see that they don't crawl out. Miss Kralltz ll'ax'e you any powitions vaeant here that you think T might be able to till? XVell, what used to be your ouc-upationY

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HUMOROUS gowan away, you think this place is an asylum? Gowau away, before I get as bad. , But l'm a good cookg know how to boil water and everythingfi 'NYcll, maybe l'll hire you, if you can boil water. 'lfhatis pretty good. Go boil some water now, enough for one table. Say, what's the mattcrg you're burning itg can't you see the white smoke coming oll ! My good- ness. you waste all the groceries. Now go read the cook book and find out how to boil water. What you reading now? Loafing on the job? Oh, what's the matter with you? This is the cook book, 'Choice liindsl, by men with poetical feetf' l think you're iired. As a cook, you wonldn't do stringing sausages. Take this sign and put it on the door when you go out? This establish- ment has no connection whatever with Newberry. Mr. 'l'rowbridge: ls this the Graveyard Circus Company? 1'd like to get a job.'i Well, what kind of a job do you want? I don't knowg 1 used to be a penmanship teacher, and was an expert at making circles with a penfi lf youire good at making circles with a pen, maybe you'd do good making eireles with a one-wheel bieycle, as a clown in one of our rings: you seem to have good talent for that kind of work. tio over tl1e1'e and get tested outg tell them you want the mallet'and steam roller testg l think your head might be hard enough, but your feet might not have the right temperature. Enter Mr. YVatsont Hello, are you the contractor of this job? I wonder if I could get a job here? A job? Did you say you wanted to work? You're too fat to be a hod carrier. l don't believe we could use you on any of our one wheel automobiles, as we only use two inch plank to walk ong but I might try you out as a water boy. Ol No, no! ha.ven't you got a job around here ?', Oh, a position. YVell we don't have those kind 0x1 hand where you wear gi stand-up collar, but Iill let you try out on that steam shovel, that fellow will show you how to run it., lilapse of two minutes. No steam shovel or anything in sight. Re-enter Mr. XVatson from midst of mortal box. t'Gosh! I never thought that thing would go that fast with only a touch on the lever. Yon poor farm hand, you sure did want to go up in the air for 21. ride. didnt yon, with 185 lbs. of steam on and then turn the water on into an empty boiler! Better make yourself scarce around here and sneak away before the boss comes around or you'll see two or three steam shovels, and then you won't see anything till the ambulance comes around. linter Penny Morrison and Harry Pellow: Well, what do you want? Think you're out in the zoo with the rest of the animals? Go on back and shut the door!