Marceline High School - Marcello Yearbook (Marceline, MO)

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Sharon Boudreaux recently became secretary of the new car corporation, Ashley's-Nashley's. This gigantic revolution in the automobile industry is summarized in their slogan- Buy Ashley's-Nash- ley's-no clutch, no brakes, no lights, and no starter. Special alteration-It will coast down hills all by itself: it only has to be pushed up . Kay Smith, the famous druggist, ran an ad in the paper last week which read: Free fountain service at the corner of 12th and Main . Quite a crowd arrived before they discovered that the foun- tain was in the city park, and the kind man was merely offering to give birds baths. After graduation from high school, Lelia Quinn entered a Home Economics School. One day she concocted a mixture, anxiously watched her teacher eat it, turn very pale, and collapse on the floor. A doctor was called, and the poor man was pronounced dead. Lelia burst into tears. Oh dear , she wailed, I've failed my examination . Geneva Wright has an interesting job going from circus to circus hiring midgets to serve as reporters for Quick Magazine. Roger Boone is noted for his surprising combina- tions of his scientific adventures'and his ability at poetry-writing. His latest masterpiece was as fol- lows: My name is Roger Boone. I went to the moon one night in Iune: There I hit a loon Upon the head with a spoon. Dorothy Cordray and Dean Wilson have just pur- chased a pamphlet, Cheaper By the Score, about their experiences with their twenty daschund pup- pies. Note-their hot-dog stand opens next month. Billie Hose Cupp had to resign last week from her position as head of Mannie, Moe, and Mac's Home for Last Hydrogen Atoms . It seems the splitting headaches were positively killing her. 1 Richard Eitel has become famous as a tailor to the wealthy set. His trademark of Rich's Britches is a great name in the world of pants. They are guaranteed to wrinkle, crease, rip, and tear: there- fore anyone who can afford them is recognized as being quite distinguished. Ruby Green has a new place of employment now. She is working in a restaurant testing drum sticks. Formerly she had a highly paid job in a mix-master factory, but she had to be released. When the mix- masters she made were turned on, they all had syn- copated beats. Reta Asher, the accomplished novelist, has just published her latest book, The Story of a Failure or The Rise and Fall of Had-a-call . Strangely enough, when she was asked for a press statement, she exclaimed, My success was from drinking three quarts of Hadacol daily . Her final comment was, Hadacal cures all . Bonnie Bell is now the owner of a world renouned hat shoppe. Her motto is Buy Bell's Blue Bonnets. Double your money back if your husband likes them . Bonnie Blew is now tops as a psychiatrist, but the other day she had to make an appointment with one of her colleagues. Doctor , she complained, I can't imagine whatfs wrong with me. Most of my patients see spots in front of their eyes, and once I was consulted by a man who even saw stripes : but, at that moment she broke into a wail, all I can see is green scotch plaid ! Vemon Bowman, the noted Californian surgeon, was called late one night last week to perform an emergency appedectomy. After the patient recovered he was asked to describe the experience, he re- plied, oh, it was nothing at all, just call it 'Opera- tion Pacific'. 25

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Snior Cfaaa fgvfaltecy Time: Evening. Place: Luxurious mansion of Paddy King, well- known columnist. Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is Paddy King bringing you the 25th Annual Golden School Day Review in conjunction with my regular broadcast. But first a word from our sponsor, Miss Ruth Yocom. Has anyone ever placed you in an egg cup and tapped your head gently with a spoon: do birds ever perch upon your head and wait: or do small children ever look at you in amazement and exclaim, 'Look Momrnie, no hairl' In short, are you bald? If so, try our wigs. They are guaranteed not to slip, slide, or scoot. Try one today. Buy the large economy size, something the whole family can enjoy. I thank you. And now, back to our little gossip, Paddy King. Ladies and gentlemen, I shall dedicate this pro- gram to my former classmates where ever they may be. Bobby Smith is now a private lst class. He got his promotion after 3 months, 2 weeks, and 13 years in the army. His promotion was the result of peel- ing more potatoes in two hours than anyone else in his regiment. Although Bob was injured perform- ing this remarkable deed, he cut his finger: he was glad to receive his promotion. Ioe Sportsman recently won fame by inventing a new alarm clock, Up and Atom . When the alarm goes off, four tiny midgets play Oh How I Hate to Get Up In the Morning , and a sprinkle: system automatically goes on so the victims, pardon, the consumer will think that it is raining. Carol Lower was one of the best dancers in the theatre world today until he had his accident. While wiggling down the street one day, he slipped and fell on a banana peel. His big toe was broken, thus preventing him from dancing ballet. Now he is writ- 24 ing Lower's Low-Down Blues . Recently he pre- sented to the public the Marceline Mamba . All you do is stand and move your toe from right to left. Gene Ross now owns a 150 Ma-acre hamster ranch. Although he started with only two, he fed them Duz and now he has more hamsters than he can count. I guess Duz does everything. Donna West, who runs a day nursery for children, had an embarrassing experience the other day. Marching into the credit department of a big store, she announced, The water pistol you sold me is no good, and I want my money back, SEE-, she pointed the gun at the manager, pulled the trig- ger, and hit him square in the eye with a stream of purple ink. Now isn't that funny, she mused. I'm just sure it didn't work yesterday! Bob Magee was fired from his commercial radio job recently when he made a drastic blunder, And now a word from our sponsor who has made this program impossible . He now has a very unusual occupation, extracting gold from goldfish. By the way, for all those who are interested in correspond- ing with him, his address is Fort Knox. Those two side kicks, Margaret Hunter and Mary Lois Twitchel have gotten a job together. It seems they paint north on all sardine cans going north, and south on all sardine cans going south. This is done to prevent the sardines from tickling each other's noses with their tails. Byron Boudreaux has now become an admiral in the Navy despite his poor beginning: he has had a hard time living down the fact, that during his first week at Annapolis, he saw one of his unfor- tunate shipmates sink under the water for the third time: whereupon our valiant hero jumped into the water to save him and had to be rescued himself. He had learned to swim in the Great Salt Lake.

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Charles Lake, who has devoted his life to writing a biography of pink elephants, was kept awake until l a. m. the other morning by the blaring radio of a neighbor. But he fixed him. At four a. m. the neighbor's telephone rang long and loud. It was Charles calling to tell him how much he had en- joyed the music. Iack Staples always did love to eat. He's quite wealthy now, so the day he entered the Diamond Muleshoe and- was instantly handed a lengthy menu by an attentive waiter, studying it carefully for several minutes, lack exclaimed in his best Mis- souri drawl, W-a-a-l-l, I don't guess I see anything to object to. Glen Porter is now quite famous for statistical research. After considerable work, he enlightened us the other day with this little gem, Twenty-five per cent of men who get married propose while driving ia car. This only goes to show that more accidents happen on the road than anywhere else . Ierry Fox, a rich Hollywood playboy, who directs the dance band at the Pink Derby . certainly had a surprise the other day. It seems he ordered a loud sport shirt: after unwrapping it, he found a note in his pocket which read, Please write and send a photo to the following address. Naturally enough, Ierry promptly wrote a letter, imagining that she might be beautiful and perhaps wealthy. Within a few days his answer came. l was just curious to see what kind of looking fellow would buy such a funny shirt . She was the salesgirl. Don Still was recently featured in the Unusual Occupation column of the American Magazine . All day long he sits in front of a blackboard in a factory and draws faces that will stop the clocks, so that they can be shipped. Lucille Hepworth is a high pressure salesgirl in a fur shop. One day last week the proprietor, Hattie Carnegie, was amazed to find that a large group of furs which she had planned to discard had all been sold. Certainly, madarn , Lucille said, I just 4 .26 put an ad in the paper stating that we had some furs too high priced for the average housewife, and they were all gone by noon . Calvin McCauslin, the famous Dripping Weather- man , recently received a phone call from his old classmate, Mitchell McGown, who now owns a home for lost Pekingese pups. Mitchell inquired about the weather condition and received this surprising re- ply from the one and only Calvin, It's raining 'cats and dogs'. I know because I just stepped in a 'poodle'. Io Ann Stanley has taken the place of Marie Wilson in the movie. Everyone agrees that she is a very sweet girl. but not too, oh--for instance, the other day she was riding by a gas station with a friend and remarked, Isn't it wonderful how these filling station people know just where to set up pumps to get gas . Helen Lewis, who was recently married, exclaimed that she approved of married life, also she gave all girls, wishing to become brides, a little tip: What every young bride should know-cooking. Bob Axcell has been awarded the Sell-well award this year: however his glory must have left him a little careless, for one day a customer raged into Bob's store and retorted, That lot you sold me is fifteen feet under water . Yes, I know , replied Bob, I also sell boats! Bonnie Staats stalled Charles' car in front of Wals- worth's one night in the heavy 5 o'clock traffic. The man in the car behind her started blowing his horn loudly. With great poise, Bonpie got out and walked back to the impatient man. I'll toot your horn, Bonnie said, While you start my car. Ronnie Wiggins, who recently ran in the Missouri Derby, exclaimed to his foreman the other day, I don't like the way that horse I bought from you al- ways keeps his head down . The foreman repied, He's showing his shame because of the low price you paid for him.