Marceline High School - Marcello Yearbook (Marceline, MO)

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Snior Cfaaa fgvfaltecy Time: Evening. Place: Luxurious mansion of Paddy King, well- known columnist. Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is Paddy King bringing you the 25th Annual Golden School Day Review in conjunction with my regular broadcast. But first a word from our sponsor, Miss Ruth Yocom. Has anyone ever placed you in an egg cup and tapped your head gently with a spoon: do birds ever perch upon your head and wait: or do small children ever look at you in amazement and exclaim, 'Look Momrnie, no hairl' In short, are you bald? If so, try our wigs. They are guaranteed not to slip, slide, or scoot. Try one today. Buy the large economy size, something the whole family can enjoy. I thank you. And now, back to our little gossip, Paddy King. Ladies and gentlemen, I shall dedicate this pro- gram to my former classmates where ever they may be. Bobby Smith is now a private lst class. He got his promotion after 3 months, 2 weeks, and 13 years in the army. His promotion was the result of peel- ing more potatoes in two hours than anyone else in his regiment. Although Bob was injured perform- ing this remarkable deed, he cut his finger: he was glad to receive his promotion. Ioe Sportsman recently won fame by inventing a new alarm clock, Up and Atom . When the alarm goes off, four tiny midgets play Oh How I Hate to Get Up In the Morning , and a sprinkle: system automatically goes on so the victims, pardon, the consumer will think that it is raining. Carol Lower was one of the best dancers in the theatre world today until he had his accident. While wiggling down the street one day, he slipped and fell on a banana peel. His big toe was broken, thus preventing him from dancing ballet. Now he is writ- 24 ing Lower's Low-Down Blues . Recently he pre- sented to the public the Marceline Mamba . All you do is stand and move your toe from right to left. Gene Ross now owns a 150 Ma-acre hamster ranch. Although he started with only two, he fed them Duz and now he has more hamsters than he can count. I guess Duz does everything. Donna West, who runs a day nursery for children, had an embarrassing experience the other day. Marching into the credit department of a big store, she announced, The water pistol you sold me is no good, and I want my money back, SEE-, she pointed the gun at the manager, pulled the trig- ger, and hit him square in the eye with a stream of purple ink. Now isn't that funny, she mused. I'm just sure it didn't work yesterday! Bob Magee was fired from his commercial radio job recently when he made a drastic blunder, And now a word from our sponsor who has made this program impossible . He now has a very unusual occupation, extracting gold from goldfish. By the way, for all those who are interested in correspond- ing with him, his address is Fort Knox. Those two side kicks, Margaret Hunter and Mary Lois Twitchel have gotten a job together. It seems they paint north on all sardine cans going north, and south on all sardine cans going south. This is done to prevent the sardines from tickling each other's noses with their tails. Byron Boudreaux has now become an admiral in the Navy despite his poor beginning: he has had a hard time living down the fact, that during his first week at Annapolis, he saw one of his unfor- tunate shipmates sink under the water for the third time: whereupon our valiant hero jumped into the water to save him and had to be rescued himself. He had learned to swim in the Great Salt Lake.

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I, Ruby Green, do hereby will and bequeath my naturally blonde hair and my reducing manual that ISN'T magic to Betty McClusky. Take good care of it Betty, and you can't lose Close weight, that isll I, Carol Shroyer. do hereby leave my habit of keeping late hours and still getting to school the next day to Gloria Sportsman. I, Ronnie Wiggins, do hereby leave to the future girls of M. H. S., a life-size portrait of me to be hung in the trophy case, so they can all see what they missed. I, Richard Eitel, do hereby will my Model A to any boy who can squeeze eight kids in a three passenger car and still find the gear shift. I, Hazel Zurcher, do hereby will and bequeath my easy going manner and ability to compile a yearbook without a visit to St. Ioseph Sanitarium to Nancy Walsworth. , I, Sharon Boudreaux, do hereby will my interest for a certain party belonging to the Alumni to Mar- jory Burch. I, Bonnie Blew, will my perfect attendance of school and appreciation for GOOD jokes to Norma Moodie. I, Ioe Sportsman, will my ability to get a ride to Brookfield nightly to lack White. I, Charles Lake, will my industrious and compre- hensive ways with books to Bob Royar. I, Calvin McCauslin, will my wholesome interest in agriculture and love for the soil to Howard Wil- liamson. I, Billie Cupp, will my shrewd driving abilities to Charles Ablen. I, Byron Boudreaux, leave my deep blue eyes and baby dimples to G. B. Putman. I, Roger Boone, will my seat next to the door, on the bus, to Howard Shives. I, Margaret Hunter, will my athletic ability and gift of gab to Donna Fowble. I, Glen Porter, leave my quiet, studious ways to Bill Stauffer. I, Mitchell McGown, will my entwining arms and love for underclassmen girls to Ronald Hosford. I, Dean Wilson, will my broad shoulders and dynamic muscles to Roland Lohmar. I. Paddy King, do hereby leave my little black book of male names and addresses, a box of pink, scented stationery, and a book of stamps to Patsy Henry. I, Mac Lower, leave my love for hillbilly music and five free lessons on how to do the Brookfield Stomp to Eddie Sam Myers. I, Bob Axcell, leave my unique laboratory tech- nique in chemistry to Margaret Burgener. The foregoing document was signed, sealed, pub- lished, and declared by the Senior Class of 1950 of Marceline High School on this eighteenth day of May in the year of our Lord one thousand and nine hundred and fifty, as and for our Last Will and Testament. ' f 1 I ti Senior Class, 1951 y' 23

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Sharon Boudreaux recently became secretary of the new car corporation, Ashley's-Nashley's. This gigantic revolution in the automobile industry is summarized in their slogan- Buy Ashley's-Nash- ley's-no clutch, no brakes, no lights, and no starter. Special alteration-It will coast down hills all by itself: it only has to be pushed up . Kay Smith, the famous druggist, ran an ad in the paper last week which read: Free fountain service at the corner of 12th and Main . Quite a crowd arrived before they discovered that the foun- tain was in the city park, and the kind man was merely offering to give birds baths. After graduation from high school, Lelia Quinn entered a Home Economics School. One day she concocted a mixture, anxiously watched her teacher eat it, turn very pale, and collapse on the floor. A doctor was called, and the poor man was pronounced dead. Lelia burst into tears. Oh dear , she wailed, I've failed my examination . Geneva Wright has an interesting job going from circus to circus hiring midgets to serve as reporters for Quick Magazine. Roger Boone is noted for his surprising combina- tions of his scientific adventures'and his ability at poetry-writing. His latest masterpiece was as fol- lows: My name is Roger Boone. I went to the moon one night in Iune: There I hit a loon Upon the head with a spoon. Dorothy Cordray and Dean Wilson have just pur- chased a pamphlet, Cheaper By the Score, about their experiences with their twenty daschund pup- pies. Note-their hot-dog stand opens next month. Billie Hose Cupp had to resign last week from her position as head of Mannie, Moe, and Mac's Home for Last Hydrogen Atoms . It seems the splitting headaches were positively killing her. 1 Richard Eitel has become famous as a tailor to the wealthy set. His trademark of Rich's Britches is a great name in the world of pants. They are guaranteed to wrinkle, crease, rip, and tear: there- fore anyone who can afford them is recognized as being quite distinguished. Ruby Green has a new place of employment now. She is working in a restaurant testing drum sticks. Formerly she had a highly paid job in a mix-master factory, but she had to be released. When the mix- masters she made were turned on, they all had syn- copated beats. Reta Asher, the accomplished novelist, has just published her latest book, The Story of a Failure or The Rise and Fall of Had-a-call . Strangely enough, when she was asked for a press statement, she exclaimed, My success was from drinking three quarts of Hadacol daily . Her final comment was, Hadacal cures all . Bonnie Bell is now the owner of a world renouned hat shoppe. Her motto is Buy Bell's Blue Bonnets. Double your money back if your husband likes them . Bonnie Blew is now tops as a psychiatrist, but the other day she had to make an appointment with one of her colleagues. Doctor , she complained, I can't imagine whatfs wrong with me. Most of my patients see spots in front of their eyes, and once I was consulted by a man who even saw stripes : but, at that moment she broke into a wail, all I can see is green scotch plaid ! Vemon Bowman, the noted Californian surgeon, was called late one night last week to perform an emergency appedectomy. After the patient recovered he was asked to describe the experience, he re- plied, oh, it was nothing at all, just call it 'Opera- tion Pacific'. 25