Maple Avenue Evening High School - Progress Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

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Jos. W. Fordney, Michigan Congressman, tells this one: It was a summer Sunday evening and the man and his wife were at- tending church. Outside the church window, the crickets were making considerable racket. Inside, the choir-a very fine one-was finishing an anthem. As the beautiful final notes of the music died away the wife turned to her husband and whispered: p g Oh, John, wasn't it wonderfull Wasn't it marvelous! Yes , said John, and the most wonderful part is that they do it all with their hind legs. Fifty-Fifty She- Dearest, now that we are married, I-I have a confession to make to you . He- What can it be, sweetheart? ' She- Can you forgive me for deceiving you? My right eye is made of glass . ' g He- Never mind, love bird, so are the diamonds in your engagement ring .-Nebraska Awgwan. ,Overheard at the Soda Fountain C h o 1 l y :-Christmas will soon be here, I don't know what to get for Mabel. Guess I'll get her a book. P ea rl: - For the luvva Pete, don't get Mabel a book, Mabel has g o t a book. One of our home town merchants wrote to a delinquent who had mov- ed away, regarding a long overdue account, and received this reply: Dere Sir-I got your letter about what I owe yoh. Now be pachunt. I ain't forgot you. If this wus judgment day and you wus no more prepared to meet your maker than I am to meet your account you sure would have to go to hel. Trusting you will do this I am- Canadian QTeX.J Record. , Page Eighty-seven

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Wafted from the Dramatic Class Room The Vamp :-That was a smart one Freddie De Bolt pulled on his doctor. The Sheik :-We're all in the dark, tell us about it. The Vamp :-Well, it was like this 3 you know Freddie has passed his thirtieth birthday and he was all run down and debilitated. He consulted this doctor who guaranteed to make him a boy of 18 again for the sum of 55000. V r The Sheik :-Glands I supposeg did he succeed? The Vamp:-Yes, but Freddie refused to pay the bill and the doctor threatened to sue him. 0 The Sheik :-And what did Freddie do then? The Vamp :-Laughed in his face, told him he couldn't get judgement against a minor. Perfect-Plus This happened at a conference of negro preachers. A visiting bishop was looking at the various ,examination papers, and came upon one marked 101 per cent. .- See here, Brother J ones, he asked of the worthy who was conducting the test, what does yo' base yo' answers on ? ' One hundred per cent, advised the minister. But how does this man come to be marked 101 per cent? Oh, yo' see, suh, answered the darky, he answered one question we didn't ask him. F Will-They say that many important discoveries were the result of accident. Bill-You're right! If I'd never eaten an apple in the dark I'd never have known how delightful a worm tasted I-Judge. Is it true that you and your wife had some trouble yesterday, Sam ? asked his employer. Wall, wasn't no trouble to mah wife 'tall, mostly jest fer me, replied Sam sadly.-Judge. Page Eighty-six

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J Scientist Discovers Everlasting Material l I Dr. Alexander Scott of London, England, claims to have isolated haf- nium, a practically indestructible material with a meltingfpoint over 3657 degrees Fahrenheit. By mixing it with paint or concrete, they may be made everlasting, or at least impervious to the heaviest traffic. It also will produce everlast- ing paint, it is claimed. i Practical Training Needed There is a rapidly growing feeling among industrial men that merely theoretical advisers to a board engaged in industrial projects are not need- ed by administrators as badly as men with business sense and practical engineering training who can assist boards and directorates whenever and Wherever engineering problems arise. Small Son--I say, Daddy, when people go to heaven do they become angels right away, or have they to pass a lot of stupid examinations first? -The Passing Show fLondonJ. Magistrate- Are you married ? Prisoner- No, I got this black eye from a friend .-Simplicissimus fMunichD. il.l...l-1 The Comeback One of them city fellers tried to sell me the Woolworth building . What did you say ? I sez, 'All right, young feller, Wrap it up .-Judge. ill..-if That's a nice dog you've got there, boy Yes, sir. He's bit over 40 people .-Judge. i V' Page Eighty-eight