Maple Avenue Evening High School - Progress Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

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Wafted from the Dramatic Class Room The Vamp :-That was a smart one Freddie De Bolt pulled on his doctor. The Sheik :-We're all in the dark, tell us about it. The Vamp :-Well, it was like this 3 you know Freddie has passed his thirtieth birthday and he was all run down and debilitated. He consulted this doctor who guaranteed to make him a boy of 18 again for the sum of 55000. V r The Sheik :-Glands I supposeg did he succeed? The Vamp:-Yes, but Freddie refused to pay the bill and the doctor threatened to sue him. 0 The Sheik :-And what did Freddie do then? The Vamp :-Laughed in his face, told him he couldn't get judgement against a minor. Perfect-Plus This happened at a conference of negro preachers. A visiting bishop was looking at the various ,examination papers, and came upon one marked 101 per cent. .- See here, Brother J ones, he asked of the worthy who was conducting the test, what does yo' base yo' answers on ? ' One hundred per cent, advised the minister. But how does this man come to be marked 101 per cent? Oh, yo' see, suh, answered the darky, he answered one question we didn't ask him. F Will-They say that many important discoveries were the result of accident. Bill-You're right! If I'd never eaten an apple in the dark I'd never have known how delightful a worm tasted I-Judge. Is it true that you and your wife had some trouble yesterday, Sam ? asked his employer. Wall, wasn't no trouble to mah wife 'tall, mostly jest fer me, replied Sam sadly.-Judge. Page Eighty-six

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i ln Lighter Vein Caught the Spirit of the Thing . The bucolic one had been asked his opinion of scarecrows. No good at all, he grunted, Hleastwise against the crows in this dis- trict! Only last year we put up what we thought was a fine Scarecrow- a man pointing a gun . Well, what happened ? Why all the crows in the world seemed to be feeding in the field, and while one crow' perched on the gun and worked the trigger, another was falling down, pretending to be shotf' A Q ...-i.-,T As Others See Us In the old prize-fighting days one of the best-known men of the fancy in South London was a stutterer. Having beaten most of his local contem- poraries he sighed, a fistic Alexander, for more worlds to conquer. Even- tually an opponent was brought for him from the Midlands. He proved to be a miner, who also suffered from a vocal impediment. There were long-drawn-out pourparlers for the match, but when everything was finally arranged the South Londoner shook hands and remarked to his opponent: And if y-y-you c-c-can not f-f-fight b-b-better than you c-c-can t-t-talk it's a W-w-w-walk-over for me. -London Daily News. i In the Nick of Time Two gentlemen riding on a train were both very much intoxicated. First Gent-What time is it? Second Gent fafter extracting a matchbox from his pocket with much exertion and gazing at it intentlyb-Thursday. First Gent-My God! I've got to get off here.f-Everybody's. ' , Page Eighty-five f

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Jos. W. Fordney, Michigan Congressman, tells this one: It was a summer Sunday evening and the man and his wife were at- tending church. Outside the church window, the crickets were making considerable racket. Inside, the choir-a very fine one-was finishing an anthem. As the beautiful final notes of the music died away the wife turned to her husband and whispered: p g Oh, John, wasn't it wonderfull Wasn't it marvelous! Yes , said John, and the most wonderful part is that they do it all with their hind legs. Fifty-Fifty She- Dearest, now that we are married, I-I have a confession to make to you . He- What can it be, sweetheart? ' She- Can you forgive me for deceiving you? My right eye is made of glass . ' g He- Never mind, love bird, so are the diamonds in your engagement ring .-Nebraska Awgwan. ,Overheard at the Soda Fountain C h o 1 l y :-Christmas will soon be here, I don't know what to get for Mabel. Guess I'll get her a book. P ea rl: - For the luvva Pete, don't get Mabel a book, Mabel has g o t a book. One of our home town merchants wrote to a delinquent who had mov- ed away, regarding a long overdue account, and received this reply: Dere Sir-I got your letter about what I owe yoh. Now be pachunt. I ain't forgot you. If this wus judgment day and you wus no more prepared to meet your maker than I am to meet your account you sure would have to go to hel. Trusting you will do this I am- Canadian QTeX.J Record. , Page Eighty-seven