Manzano High School - Scepter Yearbook (Albuquerque, NM)

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It rs a name jeremy chose and It surts the cat nrcely dont you thInk? I am I thought I am very trred of thrs summer of thrs heavrness of you Mom jeremy called through the screen door Look he s lettrng me hold hIm' The cat had allowed Itself to be prcked up and was restrng warrly rrgrdly agarnst jeremy s chest On rmpluse I suggested Why don t we open a can of tuna and grve hrm some? Gee Mom really? jeremy Sald Hearthat Cully? Well I never' Mama exclarmed You re crazy plarn crazy Thrs trme the cat stayed wrth jeremy for nearly half an hour lettrng hrmself be held and petted before he d had enough and darted away Hell be back jeremy announced wrth confrdence Tomorrow He drd come back The next day and the next and the next Early Thursday mornrng whrle jeremy was on the porch grvrng the cat mrlk the telephone rang It was Frank Darlrng? I knew from the one word that somethrng was wrong Frank what rs It? He chuckled sheeprshly Well I m afrard your fool of a husband has gone and done It agarn Honey the boys we played softball In Central Park yesterday after work an Your back' I moaned You threw It out agarn' Is It bad? He took a deep shaky breath Bad he sard Frank had developed drsc trouble durrng hrs college football days Oh my poor darlrng' I exclarmed How are you managmg? Food and Dont worry he sard tryrng to reassure me Mrs Krttleson arrrves promptly at twelve and frve wrth her In comparable culrnary delrghts But the pornt rs Frank went on youll have to wart It out up there for a few more days untrl thrs thrng IS over Untrl I can get up to help wrth the packrng My heart sank I had forgotten for an Instant that thrs was to be my weekend of lrberatron Nothrng dorng I sard wrth sudden resolve I ve a brg strong son and a wrllrng mother to help We ll shove everythrng Into the wagon and leave frrst thrng In the mornrng Frank protested but not too strongly It was no fun be Ing flat on your back wrth no one for company but Mrs Krttleson twrce a day Mama leaned agarnst the srnk her arms folded I ll dont see what the brg hurry rs why we have to rush home lrke manracs Hell be all rrght In a few days he s strong as a My husband IS In parn and he needs me' I retorted furrously All rrght' Her vorce sprraled Do what you want' You re the boss you always know whats best' She srghed and looked around the room Well we d better begrn now thrs mrnute If we re to be ready by morn n Phaethon 74 jeremy stood very strll on the porch lrstenrng Come In now jeremy I sard shortly We need your help He opened the door reluctantly and stepped rnsrde There was a questron In hrs eyes and a hrnt of fear but I had no trme for hrm now Vrsrons of Frank Iyrng down alone In the darkness In agony assarled me through the long lonely nrght Toward mornrng after managmg to drop IntO an uneasy sleep at last I was awakened by a prnchrng cramp In the calf of my leg Massagrng It furrously I felt exhausted before the day had even begun It was srx o clock and rarnrng thun derously Large summer drops fell lrke stones on the gray world outsrde Oh frne' I muttered forcrng myself to get up In sprte of the famrlrar dull ache In my back I was determrned to get an early start An hour later Mama stood wrth her bulgrng straw bag In the mrddle of the Irvrng room checkrng for any forgot ten Items It was then that I notrced jeremy standrng at the krtchen door peerrng out INTO the yard Okay that about does It I saId He dId not turn a round jeremy we re ready I could not keep the trredness from my vorce He turned and I saw a qurver rrpple hrs lower lrp I m not gorng he Sald In a slow delrberate vorce Not wrthout Cully I closed my eyes Oh jeremy thats rrdrculous and you know It I m not gorng wrthout hrm' I m takrng hrm home He s mrne The parn In my back never qurte gone renewed Itself wrth a vrgorous stab I Inhaled sharply Beads of persprra jeremy I explarned wrth exaggerated patrence Hers a stray used to roamrng off by hrmself He would hate It In the crty He loves me jeremy sard begrnnrng to whrne When he comes for breakfast thrs mornrng he won t frnd anyone here and he ll thrnk What not? Mama demanded comrng In from the lrv Ing room Nothrng I replred curtly Are we ready to go? Ready ready she saId jeremy glared at her He drdn t move from hrs post at the door Now look' I sard sharply Your father IS srck, I have erghty seven mrles of drrvrng ahead of me and It s rarn Ing' Belreve me when I tell youthat cats are very durable creatures He ll soon frnd another source of food Mama and I stepped outsrde Come on I ordered Thrs mmute' He stood there only a moment longer before he o beyed It was a depressrng rrde back The rarn besrdes makrng drrvrng tedrous drd not mange In the least to cool thrngs off Mama srttrng besrde me took out her knrttrng and wrthdrew Into srlence We came to a roadsrde restaurant and I turned the car Into the parkrng lot Lets stop for breakfast here I sard All rrght? I could do wrth a good cup of coffee Mama got out jeremy huddled In back dId not budge I m not hun gry he sard ' ' - , . . . H . , f ' ,H - ll - II ll II ll ,, . , ' ' ' 4' . n In . 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thrived. For once I couldn't wait to get back to the city. They'll stay in my room, near the radiator, I told Pa- pa. I'll get them a bigger box when they start tc grow. Papa nodded, but he said nothing. On Saturday, the morning we were to leave for home, the chicks disappeared, box and all. Their corner in the cellar was glaringly empty, the heater had been un- plugged and pushed into its former standing, against the wall. I ran up the cellar steps, tripping once, skinning my knee against the concrete. Where are they? I demand- ed, breathlessly. Oh, Margaret! Mama exclaimed. What have you done? Look at your knee! It's bleeding! My chickens! I demanded, glaring first at Mama, then at Papa, who turned his face away. Where are they? Grandma Craig slapped down the dishcloth she was wielding. I winced at the sharp sound. They died during the night, she said brusquely. My mouth opened but no words came out. I I don't believe you, I said finally. I know how you feel, Mama said. But really, they were too young to be separated from their mother. Where? I began to cry softly. Where did you bury them? Grandma Craig nodded toward the back yard. We put them in the trash can. inthe . . . Before anyone could stop me, I ran outin- to the yard, oblivious to the early morning chill. Not a- ware of anything, really, except the faint, barely audible squawking of baby chicks emanating from the depths of thetrash can. I might have screamed: Idon't remember tearing the lid off the can and scooping out the topmost layers of trash, and then hands were pulling me away. Don't be such a baby! Mama scolded. We have to go back to the city, and there's no time for nonsense! Come, be a good girl, Papa said. We'll be home soon, and then I'Il take you to the movies. I turned, tear-blinded, to face them. I hate you! I shrieked. I wish you were both dead! Mama gasped and said that I had committed a terrible sin, that I should ask God to forgive me at once. But Pa- pa's face grew still and white and he said nothing. Noth- ing at all! During the long train ride home I would not look at them. I stared out the window, now and then catching glimpses of a very small, helpless-looking girl, someone who hated the grownup who was churning about inside. I knew then that my battle against them was undoubt- edly hopeless. They had the power, and that was that. She'll forget all about it by the time she gets married, Mama kept saying on that trip home. By the time she's married it'll all be forgotten. . . Well, I can't take any more of this, Mama said now, startling me. I'm going back to wait for the fish man. That's a good idea, I told her. I'lI be along in a lit- tle whiIe. You'd better come soon, she warned. A person can get sunstroke on a day like this. That boy, well, he's not even wearing a hat to protect his head. I ...All right, Mama, all right! She held up her hand. I was only advising, she said. I watched her walk away, the folded beach chair carried clumsily neath one arm, the backs of her faded blue rub- ber sandals flapping against her chapped heels. She is a lonely old woman now, I told myself. She means no harm. She is a mother. A mother worries, about eating enough, about sunstroke, about drowning. .. Butltoo am a mother. I am not like her, not one bit like her. I look at my son and I see a human being, a per- son in his own right. I care about dignity and truth and self-respect. He came to me then, his body dripping wet, his lips a- might blue. He plopped himself at my feet and leaned his head against my knee. Had enough? He shrugged his shoulders. Why did the cat run away, Mommy? No one knows why animals do the things they do, jeremy. He was hungry and you fed him and he was satis- fied, so he went home. Will he come back? Didn't he like me? He might come back. Sure he liked you! He let you pet him, didn't he? jeremy nodded. Mom, how come we had to have Grandma live with us this summer? I glanced down at him. We didn't have to, dear. We wanted to. She's been awfully lonely since Grandpa died. It's hard for her now without him. Papa had died suddenly in March, on his way to the store for a paper. Thirty-two years, Mama had said over and over. How do you forget? You don't forget, I told her in a comforting gentle tone. f'You adjust. You accept. But you never forget. I held her while she wept, and I was a mother to my moth- er. In May, when Frank and I discussed the probability of renting a shore-cottage, he had said, Look, since I'll be out only on weekends, why don't you ask your mother if she'd like to spend the summer with us? I stared at him, chagrined. He had thought of it first, I hadn't. Good idea, I said. She needs me now. In her need I will be there. But it hadn't turned out that way. She's impossibIe! I complained to Frank each week- end. She practically wants to hand-feed us! Do you know, one day she decided she wanted to wash my un- derwear? When I wouIdn't let her, she sulked for hours! Frank smiled indulgently. Be patient, darling. Sum- mer's almost over. I had begun to count the weeks, the days. Now there was one week left, and on Friday Frank would come to help us load the station wagon. The cat was waiting on the porch the next morning when we filed into the kitchen for breakfast. Cully! jeremy exclaimed in delight. You came back. He went to the refrigerator immediately and poured a bowl of milk. Mama groaned. See? What did I tell you? Now he's even got a name for it! She frowned as the cat greedily lapped up the white liquid. And what kind of name is that anyway? I felt anger rise-a slow, hot-lightening that made my next words staccato. It's a perfectly good name, Mama!

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Suit yourself' I snapped and I slammed the door, leaving him alone just once did I turn back to look at him. He sat motion- less his face pressed against the window, very young, very small, in that big car And in that Instant I knew I recognized that look. It had been mine once, and now it was his. It would always be his to remember, to cry over, to hate with. I wanted to scream with his pam With my pain. Come Mama urged Let him be. Let him mope, He Il get over it I turned to face her this woman who was my mother. This woman from whom I was not nor could I ever be again, so removed I slipped my arm through hers, and we walked close together through the raindrops, bound by a common tyranny of adulthood, by something be- yond reason and stronger than will. You re right I lied as we mounted the steps to the entrance of the restaurant By the time he gets married, he ll have forgotten all about it ...Liz Sanchez Il ' II I II II II , . I ' II I I I I Il I ' II ' I II I ' Il Scraggy sprigs of grass are docile in the fanning of the wind. Railroad ties cut the earth with a path of cold iron. Blue spruce enchant the senses and dab caressable peaks of sculptured mountains. Yesterday's pioneers of the west etching your way across a continent, Where have you laid your feet? Upon these alluring clay grounds silver glint of tumbleweed among huge boulders Where did you place your bed at dusk? Fog cresting those mountains Where did you find your home? Mystical shadowing branches of aspen What did you do when afraid? ...Karen Tilley Hold out your hand Grasp the color of this time Feel the wind inside your soul Catch the fragrance in your mind ...laney Guthrie