Manual High School - Thunderbolt Yearbook (Denver, CO)

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A painter had been employed to repair some paintings in a convent. He did the work and presented the bill in full for fifty-nine shillings eleven pence to the curate. The latter refused to pay it, as he said that the committee would require a bill in detail. The painter produced it as follows: Corrected and renewed the Ten Commandments ..,.............................,...........,..,,..,.,.,....,.,. Embellished Pontius Pilate and put a new ribbon on his bonnet ...,.... Put a new tail on the rooster of St. Peter and mended his bill ,....,,,,.,. Put new nose on John the Baptist and straightened his eye .,,,.,...,..,,,,..,,., Replumed and gilded the left wind of the Guardian Angel ..........,.................. i.... Washed the servant of the High Priest and put carmine on his cheeks ........ ..... Renewed Heaven, adjusted ten stars, gilded the sun and cleaned the moon ........ i.... Reanimated the flames of Purgatory and restored some souls ....,..,.,,....,...............,.... Put ear rings in the ears of Sarah ,..i.,,...........,,,,.,,,.,.,..,,,,...,,..........,,.....,.,..............,.,..,,...,,. Put a new stone in David's sling, enlarged Goliath's hand and extended his legs Decorated Noah's Ark .,...l....................,,....,..........................,.,...,........,............................,.,.... Mended the shirt of the Prodigal Son and cleaned the pig ........................................ Total ........,.....,...................i.......,.,..,..,....,..,......i...,.,....,..,.i..,.......... .,.,. A little explained, A little endured, A little forgiven, And a quarrel is cured. -By A Wise Guy. Tom McIntyre: Kenny, do you know that you are in the habit of snoring '! Kenny: Am I? I'm sorry to hear it. Tom: So am I. Clark: One of these books will do half your work. Gunson: Give me two, quick. Miss Daly: Your o1'al theme please, Orrin. Orrin: I left it in my locker. Miss Atkins: What is the rule for multiplication ? Bill Brown: Change the signs and add. GIVE HIM TIME The kind old gentleman met his friend, little Willie, one very hot day. Hello, Willie! he exclaimed. And how is your dear old grandpa standin heat ? Ain't heard yet, said Willie. He's only been dead a week. GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN Willie: Are caterpillars good to eat? Ma: Why, Willie, why do you ask such questions at the dinner table? Willie: Well, there was one on pa's lettuce, but it's gone now. Teacher: Who was Columbus? 6 3 4 2 5 2 8 3 5 2 1 1 .00 .00 .00 .06 .06 .04 .02 .06 .00 .00 .20 00 59.11 g the Bobby: He was the man that discovered America, but forgot to take out a pat- ent on it. Prof.: Why are the Americans such jolly people? Student: Because they are named after A merry cus. Prof. fin noisy class rooml: Order! Order! Sleepy Student: Hot roast beef sandwich. Waiter: Isn't your egg cooked long enough? Customer: Yes, but not soon enough. I have to live with myself, and so I want to be fit for myself to knowg I want to be able, as days go by, Always to look myself in the eye, I don't want to stand with the setting And hate myself for the things that I've done. sun, An aviator intends to keep ascending until he busts. Once it was only Pikes Peak or that! When one seeks free transportation to Russia these days he simply turns Red as a beat. lPage One Hundred Twenty-eightl

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READ 'EM AND WEEP Lies slumbering here One William Lake, He heard the bell, But had no brake. At fifty miles Drove Olie Piddg He thought he would But did. At ninety miles Drove Ed Shawn, The motor stopped, But Ed kept on. n't skid, Under this sod Lies Deacon Hale, He winked, and drank Some ginger ale. Here lies what's left Of Samuel Sipe- QI-Ie stopped in the street To light a snipe.J Smith tried to cross, His grave's not here, For he was scattered Far and near. SO LONG, SCHOOL! Good-bye, good-bye, to the stupid pi, And tedious conjugations! Adieu, adieu! We have waded through Our last examinations! Farewell, farewell, to the chalky smell Of cube root and quadratics! We'll trade our books for running brooks, And revel in aquaticsl Yes, au revoir to the desk-bonsoir!- Deep-scarred by our abuses, Upon your face we learned to trace And square hypothenuses! The slate is clean-and though I ween We never shall remember The half we learn, still we'll return- Good-bye, then, till September! -E. O. R. W. B.: Is a chicken big enough to eat when it is three weeks old? Md.: Why, of course not. W. B.: Then how does he live? Miss Bunday: How did Columbus know in which direction he was sailing? M. Lake: Why, he just blew along, didn't he 7 We should like to know why some people called a certain young lady Hard Cider- the day they gave football letters out. Tom: I kissed her when she wasn't looking. Mildred: What did she do '? Tom: Kept her eyes closed the rest of the evening. Three women may a secret keep If, as it has been said, There's one of the lot has heard it not, And the other two are dead. A cement maker advertises that his cement is strong enough to mend the break of day. ' BOTANY We musn't kiss the baby, we musn't kiss the kid, We musn't kiss the dainty miss, so scientists afiirmg To pounce upon and wi-astle us there waits the awful bacillus, The semi-external, most infernal, omnipresent germ. I suppose Barnum went to heaven when he died? I don't know. Well, he certainly had a good chance. In fact, he had the greatest show on earth. Smile and the world smiles with you, Kick and you kick alone, But the cheerful grin will let you in, Where the knocker is not known. Where is the best place to go when you're broke? Go to work. lPuge One Hundred Twenty-ninej lr

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Miss Millar: Were you copying his notes? Janie Graham: Oh, no! I was just looking to see if he had mine right. First Boy: She said I was a poem. Second Boy: I guess she did not scan your feet. Charles Young: I bet you're a school teacher. Mr. Carol: Why? Charles Young: I can see the pupils in your eyes. Miss Tenny: I want the life of Julius Caesar. Allen: Sorry, but Brutus was ahead of you. Don Gardner: You don't know a good joke when you see one. Ethel Paschall: Oh, sure I do! Sit down. Mr. Rhodes: And now, class, I wish to tax your memory. Tom McIntyre: Good-night! Has it come to that? John B.: Why didn't they play cards on the ark? Louis W.: I don't know. Why? John B.: Because Noah sat on the deck. Fred Rinne Qin algebral: Could I have the algebra papers for a week back? Miss Atkins: I think a porous plaster would be better. Trueman C.: Gertrude is a gentle creature, isn't she? Joe J.: Yes, she just scolded the cream instead of whipping it. It takes a lot of money to make a homely poor girl a pretty rich one. Tom Mc: When is money called 'wet money'? Fred R.: Dunno, When? Tom Mc: When it's 'dew.' Lady Cin a book storejx I would like a book for a sick friend, but I don't know what would be suitable for her. Clerk: How would the 'Last Days of Pompeii' do ? I Lady: 'Last Days of Pompeii! Well, I don't quite remember, but what did he cie of? Clerk Ciiushedl: An eruption! GETTING EVEN Hey, Bill, your doctor's out here with a fiat tire, and wants to know what it's going to cost him, announced the garage owner's assistant. Diagnose the case as flatulency of the perimeter, and charge him five dollars, came the answer. One hears a great deal about the absent-minded professor, but it would be hard to find one more absent-minded than the dentist who said, soothingly, as he applied a monkey wrench to his automobile, Now, this is going to hurt just a little. A MUDDLED CONDITION The world used to be round: now it's fiat, and we are waiting for it to get square. VVe understand that Congress has appropriated 810,000 to eradicate the squirt from grape fruit, but nothing is being done to cultivate a non-skid surface on green peas. Just being happy, Is a fine thing to do: Looking on the bright side, Rather than the blue: Sad or sunny musing Is largely in the choosing, And just being happy Is brave work and true. She never passes a mirror without looking into it. Brave girl. Allen Steele: Gee! My bones ache. Stella L.: Yes, headaches are a nuisance, aren't they? Alice Ferris: Why, it's only six o'clock. I told you to come after supper. Smokey: Well, that's what I came after. lPage One Hundred Twenty-sevenl