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Page 30 text:
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28 THE ALARM 1925 AIN’T IT AWFUL? “Boo-hoo-oo-oo, ain’t it awful? When you graduate you have to get up at five o’clock every morning, an’ you have to get meals over a hot stove every six hours all the rest of your life, an’ you’ll never get out of washing dishes, an’ never go anyplace, and never have time to sit and gossip across the aisle when teacher isn’t looking, an’ that ain’t the worst of it either. Boo-hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo. You’ll never have a chance to bluff on a lesson, and you won’t want to chew gum because there won’t be anybody there to catch you at it, an’ nobody ’ll ever come in your room and whisper in your ear, “Come dearie, it’s time to get ready for school’’, and you can’t lay in bed on Saturday morning either, an’ that ain’t the worst of it-t-t-t, Boo-hoo-oo-oo-oo. When you get married your husband will yell, “Hey, it’s time to get up and get breakfast’’ and he’ll call you the “old woman’’ an’ expect ye to patch an’ wash, an’ sew, an’ cook, an’ scrub, an churn, an raise chickens, an bake bread an’ press his trousers every day, en ever’thing, an’ that ain’t the worst of it either. Boo-hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo. When the kids grow up they will start to high school an they’ll come home every nite an’ tell you that Jerry got a lickin’ or Mary kissed the Prof, on the nose, an’ remind you that ye used to be young, and you’ll feel awful-1-1-1-1-11, an’ that ain’t the worst of it either-r-r, Boo-hoo-oo-oo. Then you’ll get old, an’ stiff, an’ ye won’t want to work, an’ you’ll have t’ an’----an’ when you just begin to forget about it somebody’ll come up and tell you y’er gettin’ gray, an’ you’ll look in the mirror and find that all yer curls are gone, an’ you’ve got wrinkles all over your face, an’ you can’t stand up straight, an’ you can’t see good an’ that ain’t, no that ain’t the wor-r-r-st of it either. Boo-oo-hoo-oo-oo-oo-oo. Then you’ll die, and they’ll put ye down in a hole in the ground, and pack you all in tight with clods of dirt so you couldn’t move if ye had to, an’ then they’ll go away an’ leave ye all alon-n-ne forever and ever, and you’ll turn back to dust, an’ nobody’ll know you ever lived and still everybody else will be havin’ a good time and you’ll be lying there all dried up, ready to blow away. Boo-oo-oo-hoo-oo-oo.” —M. G. G. Roy—“So you believe in equal ownership now, Don?’’ Don—“Sure I do. Divide everything equal. It’s the only way.” Roy—“You mean that if you had two horses you would give me one.” Don—“Sure I would.” Roy—“And if you had two cows, would you give me one?” Don—“Of course 1 would.’’ Roy—“And if you had two pigs, would you give me one? ' Don—“Go away with you. You know I got two pigs.”
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Page 29 text:
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THE MANLIUS TOWNSHIP HIGH SCHOOL 27 MATRIMONIAL PSALM Tell me not in idle jingle Love is but an empty dream For the girl is dead that's single And things are not what they seem. Life is rich, life is earnest. Single blessedness a fib. Man thou art, to man returneth Was not spoken of the rib. Not enjoyment, and not sorrow Is our destined end or way But to act that each tomorrow Finds us nearer marriage day. Life is short, and youth is fleeting. And our hearts, tho’ light and gay Still like pleasant dreams are beating Wedding marches all the way. In the world's broad field of battle. In the bivouac of life, Be not like dumb, driven cattle. Be a heroine, and wife. Lives of married folks remind us We can make our lives as well. And departing, leave behind us Such examples that shall tell. Such examples, that another Wasting life in idle sport, A forlorn, unmarried brother Seeing, shall take heart and court. Let us then be up and doing With a heart for triumph set; Still contriving, still pursuing. And each one a husband get. Virgil Hurst (just married)— Yes, dearie, these cakes are delicious, but, as you say, they are a little bit flat.” His Wife (formerly Clara Heurlin)— And 1 followed the recipe exactly and it didn’t say a word about how to inflate them.
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