Malvern Collegiate Institute - Muse Yearbook (Toronto, Ontario Canada)

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THE MUSE gzg g g The reason why you find a variation in the time throughout the school is, he disclosed, because of the extreme accuracy of the clocks. When it is twelve o'clock noon by the clock above the auditorium entrance in the main hall, the time east and west of that central posi- tion varies in direct proportion as the distance thence. Therefore, it is considerably earlier in the western extremity of our great domain than it is at the eastern boundf' But, I remonstrated. still not convinced, that is no reason why the clocks on the third fioor are so much in advance of those on the first floor during the morning and then lag behind so grievously in the afternoon. Yes! I was just coming to that, he contided in a superior air. Not only do our clocks allow for longitude, but they are also very sensitive to altitude. It is a well-known fact that the greater the alti- tude at which one is, the farther distant appears the horizon. Thus. the higher one is the sooner does the sun rise and so he is in advance of those persons on a lower level. But, in a similar manner does the sun set later for him than for the ones on the ground, and conse- quently he becomes behind time. What could be more precise than such a timing system as this: a system of clocks that even allows for longitude and altitude: the clocks at Malvern. Could he be correct? Had we such a marvelous system of clocks? After my vigorous denunciation of the clocks, I was loath to believe so, and yet. so it certainly seemed. That afternoon, while attempting to solve a geometrical conun- drum, I perceived that the clock had stopped. For the next week I made special observations of the clocks and came to realize that some- times they ran but often they did not. Could the system's champion explain that satisfactorily? I could think of no plausible excuse for such behaviour, unless it be owing to the fact that the horned moon has become caught upon the peak of the new Hagpole at the Canadian National Exhibition. But on further consideration I realized that not even this atrocious detention of a planet would explain their stopping, for the orbit of the moon has been deviated, not that of the sun. With rising hopes I conducted still further investigations which revealed the fact that as many of the clocks in the west wing were fast as were slow, and inversely in the eastern section. My spirits were fully revived. The champion's defences were proven invalid: and now I could renew my condemnation with added zest. Why. the clocks at Malvern are so uncertain that if Mr. Breslove were to find that the periods Hee all too quickly, let him point to the time-piece and his class will consequently be transported so far behind time as to make Ancient History their current events, or as to give him plenty of addi- tional time in which to point out the beauty of Caesar's tongue. When Miss Mc-Alpine becomes disgusted and scolds you in that way she has, so that you wish the moment would never pass, then flee to W34, where Mr. Day's eloquence of speech and gesture holds the clocks spellbound for hours. E331

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i gg THE MUSE On the other hand. the clock in W31 leaps ahead at such a rate that Miss Muirhead is virtually robbed of that leisure in which to read The Globe. so enjoyed during her student years at Malvern. Therefore. I implore of you to help vanquish the unjust master who rules with the iron hand and, after the manner of the English House of Commons. to revert to the old reliable-the hour-glass. -W. H. BENNETT, 4B. BAB'S FRIEND HE Sznythes were in dire straits. Once they had lived in luxury. but suddenly disaster had sprung upon them. Mr. Smythe las he then termed himselfj had been completely prostrated bythe sudden bankruptcy of the company in which he held the majority of shares. :ind was unable to save even a little of his fortune out of the chaos. Earle Smythe. the eldest son. returning from college badly in debt as usual. found the family plunged in deep gloom and poverty. To :nake matters worse. his mother persisted in carrying out the extrava- gant receptions for her debutante daughter, Marie. Babs. a pretty, joyous little creature of sixteen. seemed the only one in the house- hold capable of facing and coping with the difficulty. ' With many a moan and grumble the Smythes departed from their fine house and surroundings and settled in a small suburban district under the more staid name of Smith. Day in and day out. Mrs. Smith seltishly bewailed the loss of her servants. receptions, gossip. et cetera, without the slightest thought for her sick husband. One day Earle. returning home and after an angry outburst in which he declared that he was sick of hunting jobs all day and listening to his motl1er's grumbles at home, packed his grip and left the house. Nothing more was heard of him until several months later. A rumour was heard of his marriage to some second-rate actress. Marie, regard- less of circumstances, tried to continue her usual routine of luncheons, afternoon teas, dinners and dances. Only Babs began looking for a position in earnest. After a week of tramping along endless roads and avenues to answer advertisements, she was engaged as com- panion-governess to a rich little girl of ten. Her qualifications-good education. speech and manners and a neat, fashionable appearance- won her this position immediately. Babs, having adopted the more demure name of Barbara, began her duties the next day and found them exceedingly tiresome. She now had to bear the same kind of treatment as her mother had so recently dealt out to their servants. Her charge-Helena Cox- Richardson-was a spoilt, exacting child and demanded every bit of l2arbara's attention and services, so that at the end of her long hours Barbara was thoroughly tired out and dispirited. But when she became better acquainted with her employers there was one thing that made her days happy and carried her through her tasks by the l34l