Maine Central Institute - Trumpet Yearbook (Pittsfield, ME)

Page 33 text:

I can see the title, She Was Onlv a Conductorks Dauglzlern or Should a Tiekel Whirh Is Puncl1ed,Hit Back Madame Winninsk-v.' What is all the shouting on the street? Oh, I guess the boy is saying, Extra! The news of the day seems to be that Gladys Gould is leaving for Alaska, where she is planning to continue her vocation as a hair dresser. It says that she feels the Eskimo women should look as attractive as the American ladies. The paper also reveals another name, that of Audrey Davis, who is going to accompany Miss Gould on her trip. She will offer a course for the Eskimo women in How to Iose a Pound of Weight in Twenty-four Hours. Monsieur Bertinsley: Do you hear that music? It's the circus, Iet's look in the big top. Oh my! What's that confusion? Goodness, Trigger james, one of the mighty mites of the James-Sinclair Strongman Act is up at the top of the tent. I can see it all now. There was too much helium in the three hundred pound dumbbell. Madame Winninsky.' Included in this same circus is Dorothy VVelch who now stands five feet nine inches and tips the scales at four hundred and twenty pounds. She is doing a tight rope act on a one-wheeled bicycle. Monsieur Berlinsky: The presses are rolling. Now we are in the of!-ice of Neal Ward, publisher and editor of the Daily Bugle, the Pittsfield Advertiser's new rival. Beside him stands Ben Stearns, the Bugle sports reporter who has terminated his bi-yearly featured article in the Farm Journal. Madame Winninsky.' What is all the cackling that I hear? A girl with auburn hair is gathering baby chicks in her apron. Oh, it is Barbara Temple, who is now half owner of the hen Hatch-ery located in the heart of Palmyra. Monsieur Bertinsky: Paris in the spring and there is the eminent French professor, Charles Partridge, gazing at the Eiffel Toweror is he looking at the cute mademoiselle in the third story window? Partridge is in Paris to show the Pari- sians his new French dictionary. He says it was inspired by his work at M. C. I. Madame Winninsky.' All I can see is a map of Maine, and Pittsfield seems to be the center. Now I see why! Edith Atwell has completed her latest novel, which sold one thousand copies the first week. It is entitled, Man Is a Queer Creature. Monsieur Berlinsley: Sh! Quiet! This is a hospital zone. Let's step inside a moment. This is the place where Dr. Ray Cook has his clinic for ingrown toe nails. There's Dr. Robert Anderson in the operating room. He's performing a delicate operation on a wealthy Burnham patient. But where is Dr. Cook? I-Iere's a card on his door. Out, Have gone to Franklin Street, Pittsfield, Maine, to perform an emergency toe operation on 'Skippy,' valuable canine of E. M. Purinton. Madame Winninsky.' What is that delicious odor issuing from that struc- ture? It smells like cheese, and I guess I am right because Margaret York, owner of the famous York Cottages and noted for the Dairy-Rich Finer Foods, is just stepping from a little Green Ford. MonsieurBertinsky: Ah, sweet music! I recognize that piece. It's the third movement of Brill's Fifth Unfinished Symphony in three parts, written by Earl Brill. Vesper Boynton, concert violinist, is making his debut at Carnegie Hall. 4991

Page 32 text:

PRIIPIIECY Ah, good afternoon, my young friends. It is, indeed, a delightful pleasure to gaze out upon such a sea of shining faces. This afternoon, Madame Winninsky and I shall have the extreme delectation of endeavoring to prognosticate the events which will take place in your lives. If you haven't already surmised the fact, we are fortune tellers. However, we are not of the ordinary species. YVe combine present day methods with those employed by the witches-hence, the enormous black cauldron. From this, the future will immerge to our eyes as if it were the present. In the past, we have correctly anticipated the future of many famous per- sons. In 1919, we stated that Mr. Purinton would still be principal at Maine's leading prep school, M. C. I. And true it was. In I93O, we forecast that Mr. Louder would be a famous science teacher, but that in 1939 he would run afoul with a great deal of trouble. Right again. In the fall of that year, Martin Kelley entered his physics class. To heap on more misery, Kelley came back the next year to teach chemistry. I. ike all people, we make mistakes. In 1936, we made a grievous error concerning Mr. Shields. We said that in 1940 he would run for state representative in Vermont on the Democratic ticket. Sad mistake! But enough reminiscing. I et's face the future with a smile. All right, Madame, what have we Hrst? Madame WinninJky.- Ah, I see the Hammond-Havey Style Shop has opened in Pittsfield where business is progressing rapidly under the influence of the Cook- Howard technique. Their latest styles, designed by Marion Keith, is the ankle length, hoop-skirt style of grandmothers day, which is making their shop widely known. Monsieur Berlinsky: I hear a merry whistle, well, no wonder. Charlie Chase who is employed by the National Broadcasting Company as one of the three chime-ringers during station breaks has just been advanced. Instead of ringing the second chime, he now announces call letters as his station. Madame Winninsky.' Why, I can see a young girl turning a dial but I hear nothing except strange noises. On the flames floats the name, Rowena Wiles who is exercising her vocal cords by singing for the benefit of the Cote Cos- metics, Inc. The song she is singing sounds like, Clarence Is My Darling. Monsieur Berlinsky: An army recruiting station comes into view. There's Red Dunton looking sad. I'll see ifI can find the cause. Wait, I hear an oflicer: he says Red's teeth are perfect, his arches arched and his eyes were excellent, as was witnessed when a beautiful blond flew over at 1o,ooo feet. He was rejected because the officer found out Red wasn't on his knees while saluting. Madame Winnin5ky.' Ooh, what a beautiful home! The door is ajar, so let's take a peek. Why, there is Betty King and Arlene Bryant. Betty has just tried on a dress she has finished and now turns to help Arlene who is writing an article for the Pittsfield Advertiser on, The Road to Happiness, or How to Win a Man's Heart. Monsieur Berlinsky: A quick change and here is Cecil Coombs, the brilliant novelist, seated in a publisher's oflice. In his hand he holds a sequel to his recent masterpiece, She Wax Only an Engineerir Daughlern which sold eleven copies. 'l98l-

Page 34 text:

In the audience is the famous clarinetist, Emery Flavin. This world-renounced group of musicians stars Eddie Chase, sweet-potato soloist. Madame Winninsky.' Something is wrong! The cauldron is never at fault, but it seems we are listening to Jack Benny's program. Oh, I see what is happen- ing! jack has a new comedian. Esther Reynolds is taking the part of Jack's wife in a short play called, Too Many Men. Monsieur Beriinsky: 'Savage war drums are beating and in a clearing in the Brazilian jungles, catching up on his trigonometry assignments is john Hatch. john's main reason here is to find a lost Temple, Madame Winninsky.- What is this? A night club? A sign says that Phyllis Hamilton's feet have been insured for 32000, for now she is a featured toe dancer at the famous Doug and Doug Night Club every Friday and Saturday night from nine o'clock until when? Blackinsky? fmy pet crowj. Oh, I see, until one gets tiredl Monsieur Berlinsky: Zoundsl The scene blinds me. What are those men wearing on their heads? Well, now, that billboard tells me the answer. Tom Hickman, who recently put on the market a hair tonic containing chlorophyll has done it again. His new two-tone toupees are being worn by all bald men. Madame Winninsky.' Mm! Smell that food! Irene Ames and Imogene Basford are waitresses in a large tea shop in Burnham, where they are hostesses to guests who remain in the beautifully constructed hotel managed by that well- known speaker, Irene Dunton. Monsieur Bertinsky: I now see newsboys selling the Palmyra Times. I.et's look at one. It can't be true! Bob Hill, Hollywood star, is making a personal appearance at the new palatial Strand Theater in Palmyra. He will be welcomed at the Municipal airport by Mayer Frank Furbursh, now serving his third term. Don Sawyer, as pilot on the Pittsfield to Palmyra run will be at the controls of the fifty-passenger stratoliner, bearing the actor and other dignitaries. Madame Winninsley: What does that sign say? Alice Cole Beauty Parlor? I can see Dorothy Shaw creating beautiful hands for beautiful women. Blackinsky says the woman in there now needs some alterations or a whole new face. MonsieurBertinsky: Green fields with cattle grazing, but they are not happy. Why? Now I see, Alton Higgins, the gentleman farmer, is leaving. He's going to be an X-ray specialist at the Troy Memorial Hospital. To make a successful beginning, he is offering reductions for group pictures. Madame Winninsky.' Oh, what a strange land. It looks like India. So it is, and down below I see Gladys Pendexter sitting in a car with a sign chauffeur on it. There seems to be something wrong because she is turning down customers. Can you tell me why, Blackinsky? Oh, so that is it! That girl only allows young attractive Americans to ride. ilflonsieur Berlinsley: The north woods appear and who do I see but Doug Stafford, hunter, trapper, guide, and beautician. Doug hunts, tends his traps, and acts as guide for wealthy patrons during the fall, winter, and spring, but he reaps a fortune giving Hamilton-style permanents to silver foxes on neighboring fox farms during the summer. Madame Winninsky: Do you hear all that talking? Someone seems very convincing in that large depart ment store of Troy's. It is Marie Higgins who has risen to the position of supervisor over the candy and sweets department. IBO?