Madison High School - Trojan / Madisonian Yearbook (Madison, IL)

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+■—■ —■■——.—..— -----------------------------------------+ Several days later, while reading the daily paper, I was attracted by a picture in the London Gazette of the Queen of Siberia. I was dazzled by her beauty and dashing appearance, and reading on in the narrative 1 found that it was Lola Hatscher. She had attracted attention as a dancer, and while at the height of most successful tour, had been married to none other than his Highness, the King of Siberia. I gave the order for the Land of Siberia, and the Fourth Dimension be- ing applied, in a few hours I was before Her Highness the Queen. She showed me her Royal Guard and army, then who should she bring in but Lonas Delcour, Royal Architect and Captain of the Royal Guard. His tow- ering height and stern, military hearing certainly were a surprise to me. Surely this wasn’t the Lonas I used to know, hut as he smiled, took off his cap and smoothed hack his hair when one of the debutantes of Siberia pass- ed. I was sure that it was the Lonas of old. Being Captain and an Architect, naturally the conversation led to those two subjects. He began discussing the war that was being carried on, and how one great person was leading a campaign for the Peace of the Universe. He said, “Why, surely you know of Miss Bowman; remember Gladys Bowman.” “Yes, the one who went with Red. well she’s the one. As he told it. she had called a conference to stop the war with Mars, and to form a League of Universes instead of Na- tions. It was a vital necessity, she claimed, to have peace in the Universe, because one of our bullets might go astray and hit the sun. If the sun were destroyed, what should become of us? From the architectural standpoint, he called my attention to a certain Parisian Model who was causing a great deal of comment. He talked on and on until 1 was highly elated over his description of her. But the best part of it was that I should know her, really who could it be. I thought over my list of acquaintances, and then gave up. Why you haven’t forgotten Margaret Bucher I hope. Well she is the one. I thought over all the miracles of the day but this was a miracle of the ages. It sure dumfounded me. Realizing that if any of more shocks as severe as this one should hit me my life would be endangered. I decided to leave the Orient. So a few hours later I was standing on the banks. 1 landed on the Banks of the Amazon in South America and for recreation I took in a good show. Rodolph Valentino was billed and so I was sure of a good performance. 1 admired his partner for her ease and grace and for her misty-like dances. 1 decided I should meet her some way. At a slight expense of a few hun- dred dollars, a page boy arranged the meeting and who did I find her to he but Ruth Walker. But now boy, she was a much better stepper than walk- er believe me. 1 began asking about other classmates and she explained to me she had met Catherine Hill recently at an international typewriting con- test, she was now world's champion typist. She had invented an improved typewriter from which she was able to coax some 250 words per minute. Well, the Commercial class was of some benefit after all. And gladly would she learn and gladly teach.—Sophia Popovsky.

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CLASS PROPHECY Being a retired business man who had made a killing in Wall Street, i became an addict of the traveling habit. Years had passed since I had en- countered any of my former classmates of the M. H. S. But this coming trip proved to be an exception. I knew of an inventor who had patented an aeroplane, on which an ap- pliance of the Fourth Dimension enabled it to traverse the world in a few hours. I engaged this inventor to take me on my travels, and upon his arrival, who should it be but George Filcoff. I made my first trip to St. Louis and my old home. How surprising it was to me to find that St. Louis was now a suburb of Madison, and that the Mayor of both cities was none other than the famous Mr. Paul Stumpf. As chief Traffic Cop he had appointed a most worthy person—Louise Span- nagel. To think that such a noble mind was used to direct the traffic of Madison, St. Louis, and surburbs. I was informed by her that several of our former classmates were to be found in St. Louis, and I decided to see them if possible. 1 went to the Madison Theatre, at which one of the world’s foremost burlesque circuits was featured for the week. I asked for the manager of the circuit, and who was paged in but Clova Lybarger. She informed me that Alice Broomfield, the designer of latest Parisian gowns, was to design her gowns for the coming week. She brought her in and presented her to me From her I learned that William Filer and Fred Pierce were giving a performance at the Orpheum. I went to said theatre and there they were giving an excellent example of jigging. Yes, they were the same Fritz and Billy as I had known years ago. From St. Louis 1 turned my footsteps South, there to encounter Mr. Henry Evangeloff. He was giving his team their spring training, as he was now Manager of the Madison-St. Louis Browns. World Famous Base- ball Team. I decided to go to California. Accordingly. 1 set out in that direction. Something must have gone wrong for in a few hours 1 was in England in- stead of California. Here I met a leading society lady, now Lady Diana Manners, and who should she turn out to be but Agnes Hensler. But for all her titles and acquired positions, she was the same Jack Hensler of years ago. From her 1 learned the whereabouts of Earl Brody. He was. ac- cording to her story, carrying on a World Wide campaign for Better Babies. No »ne seemed to know just where he was located at the present, so 1 was unable to meet him personally. Do not emblemish the theme, nor array it in beautiful phrases, but come straight to the point Bill Schooley.

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+■ Next I was told about Dorothy Baer. She was High Stenographer to Venus herself. Well, well, so that is where she is. She had held that position for |uite a few years. Her chief duty, it seems, was to type the let- ters dictated to her for the “lovelorn” and “How to be beautiful” columns in the Moon Journal, a daily printed on the moon and having a circulation of 2,(XX),(XX),000. From the Amazon, 1 left for South Africa to study the habits and lives of the pet mosquitoes held in captivity by the natives. The natives there began to tell me of a certain man who had demonstrated his physical prow- ess to such an extent that he had gained the reputation as Tarzan of the Apes. 1 determined to see this marvel of physical perfection. Imagine my surprise upon being introduced to Mr. Marion Smith, the Tarzan of South Africa. From him 1 learned that one of our classmates was in that part of the world. Sophia Popovsky was a journalistic writer for a large newspaper in the Lnited States. It was she who gave all the explorers their write-ups in the American papers. I was told that she was to be found near the dia- mond fields. Several hours after. 1 was talking to Sophia and asked her if she knew where any of our former classmates were at the time Yes, she knew of one not so far from there. She is official Ambassador to Sar- dinia. Her husband had died and left her his duties as ambassador, also several million dollars, and who should this be but Margaret Shumway. From Africa 1 went to Russia and there found Esther Blackmore, this weeks Czarina of Russia. Her aspirations had been realized, for it was al- ways her idea to make life as thrilling as possible, and believe me. being one of the weekly Czarina's of Russia is not my highest conception of thrills. Having heard from all my former classmates. 1 decided to return to New York and rest after my strenuous travels. I started out. an accident occurred. 1 found myself struggling in mid-ocean. 1 knew I was lost; my fate had been decreed. My head went under water. I began to choke, 1 awoke and found myself in the bathtub of my New York apartment. Could it be possible—all was a dream—for 1 had fallen asleep in the bathtub! —William Schooley. ’23. For she was just the quiet kind, whose nature never varies.—Gladys Bowman.