Madison High School - Madisonian Yearbook (Madison Heights, MI)

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I am about to set out from Royal Oak on a tour through the Eastern States. The train is 45 minutes overdue. While I am pa- tiently waiting, I can hear the cry of the pop- corn man coming down the street. As he draws closer, I can see that it is Bob Jess- wein now running his own business. The train has just pulled in and I see the reason for its being late: Dick Schneider is the en- gineer. At last I am seated and ready to be- gin that famous mystery novel ttWomenI by Boyd Murr, WhO professes to have been an authority on the subject. Witness his ten wives if you doubt his knowledge. As I am about to begin reading, a loud yell for help arouses me to such an extent that my shoes remain on the floor while my feet are far above. Because of my bad hearing, I acci- dentally run to the end of the car from where the sound came. There is real cause for the yell; the conductors are trying to throw two poor fellows off the back of the train for not paying their fare. Getting clos- er, I find they are two of my old classmates Bill Galer and Ernest Kubiak; feeling sym- pathetic and big hearted toward old friends, I dig down in my jeens after securing an I. O. U. from each of them and bring forth the fare for both. The 1 conductor returns me a penny and tells me C ass the fare is two for seven instead of four cents each. All of a sudden there is a sharp jolt and the train comes to a halt. No wonder. It has just struck somebody,s cow. The cow isnlt hurt, but the train sure is a mess. The engineer and the farmer are slinging some mean language. Its all in the farmeris favor, he has a gang of about fifty with him. He quits arguing With the engineer and starts staring at me. He start toward me. At last I recognize him: its J. W. Embry. Ilm breathless not from seeing him, but from being on the bottom in the fracas. I find out at last that it is not his gang but his family. J . W. insists that I meet his wife and sends one of the gang, tpardon me, childreni, to fetch her. It seems suddenly to have changed from day to night. I look in the direction of where the sun had been. In its place all I can see is a huge form com- ing in my direction. Before I can dig myself a hole in which to hide I hear everyone yell- ing, ttMawW This is Mrs. Embry, formerly the Madison Spitfire of 913', June Johnson, They have the only farm in the district without a labor shoxftage. The train is finally . put'into running Condition by the town me- prophecy chanic, Burton Smith, who also holds such titles as policeman, judge, jailer and justice of the peace. Burt claims he is the only man who can marry people, arrest them, sentence them, jail them, and divorce them. On board the train again I am approached by a bill peddler whois advertising a great burlesque show in Williamsburg, the next town, named after its great politician and mayor, J ohnny Wiliams. The bill peddler is now down on his knee begging me to purchase a ticket. With difficulty I keep him from licking my hand. For a minute, I thought he was hun- gry, but when I wipe away the waste mas- cara left by tears of gratitude, I recognize that once great heartbreaker of i432 Walt Leaf, who is now married to that little bru- nette on the left end of the chorus; back in good old Madison, she was Shirley Gribble. They have five daughters and no sons. These girls are planning to enter the show busi- ness under the name of Cantor. Walt also informs me the show is given wholly by members of our graduating class. We are now pulling into Williamsburg. I do mean pulling. Something went wrong with the train, so Schneider tthat brilliant engineeri tied ropes to the train and made all the passengers get out and pull. After ex- erting myself to an unmentionable degree by coaching everyone - to greater effort, I staggered over to a classy looking tavern called the Barber Bar and Barrel House, now managed by those two delicate Barber sis- ters, Ruth and Vivian. When I am about to enter, something comes flying out the door and takes me off my feet. Its the head of the anti-saloon league, J ean Palmer. I find that this is only the fourth time she has been thrown out by those two hostesses and boun- cers Ruth and Vivian. Jean has succeded in closing every tavern in town but this one and says she wont give up now. I try to calm her by telling her that I will do what I can to help. With this done, I am feeling pretty good so I approach the front entrance, swing open the door, and crawl in. I did a super job of sneaking up to the bar which is now occupied by the toughest brutes I have ever seen. Then a large hand reaches down to the floor and grabs me by the collaf. Itls Vivian; I breathe a sigh of relief when she recognizes me. At first she thought it was Jean again. When I tried to put in a good Word for the anti-saloon league, she starts to throw me out. Remembering that I was an old classmate, she changes her mind; but when I order a milkshake she tosses me

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The individuals of the class of 1943 do hereby bequeath their virtues and vices to lower classmen unfortunate enough to in- herit them, to wit: 1, Stella Stolaruck, d6 beqeuath my abili- ty to stay true to One man to Doris Day, who, apparently needs it. I, June Johnson, leave my brush hair cut to e?e. Gee doesnlt anyone want it? I, Dolores Oppeneer, tender my sense of humor to Miss Mack, who definitely doesnt need it, and wouldnlt want if she did. I, Virginia Friend, hereby will my grace- ful walk to Shep Fields, who needs a little more rippling rhythm in his orchestra. I, Blame Bugas, lend my come hither eyes to Clara Albiston, who could make good use of them. I, May Eadens, do bequeath my shyness to Harold Walker-need we say more? I, Ellen Swee, do bequeath my blushing complexion to George Reid who, With a red- der face and that Southern accent could go places. 1, Dorothy Wood, bequeath my secret of skipping school with- out getting caught to Steve Stolaruk, who doesnlt seem to be very successful. I, Frank Carline, leave my ability to tell Good jokes to Daisy Illich, Who could use it. I Betty Beach, do hereby Will my shell- like character to Bill E0. a I, Ruth Barber, will my ability to stay true to ONE man, even after receiving my engagement ring, to all the girls of Madison who apparently cant. I, Jewell Browning, give my brain to Donald Brownie, who doesn't use his. I, J ean Palmer, do hereby will my foun- tain pen to Barbara Rockwell. I, Vivian Barber, do hereby will my magnificent knack of g to every- one who doesn,t possess it. ' I, Shirley Coles, will all of my books to any waste paper basket. 1, Joan La Mountain, bequeath my lus- cious widowts peak to Mr. Messer - I wont need it anymore. I, J. W. Embry, hereby bequeath mah personalityll walk to all the mean lill 0P gremlins so people can see lem cominl. class Will 1, Walter Leaf, do bequeath my shy se- ductiveness and silver tresses to Isabel Adams for reasons obviOus. I, John Williams, bequeath my tslight- of-handl technique in basketball to Jerome Kubiak - during that tawkwardt stage. I, Jack Bauknecht, bequeath my phy- sique to Charles Atlas to use for his tbe- fore and tafterl advertisements. I, Burton Smith, bequeath my blushes to Miss Annabelle Grant to show people she isnlt always calm, cool, and collected. I, Rowland Neale, bequeath my wolf call to all the unexperienced blades here at Madison - look what a man of the world it made out of me. I, Edgar Spikeberg, will my flashing dimples to Martha Miller, Who needs a little light in her life! I, William Galer, bequeath my bulging wallet to Walter King a it might help in the transformation of that pinch-penny! I, George Antoff, bequeath my zoot- suit haircut to Pete Gilezon because ttMore hair becomes you . I, Evelyn Barber, bequeath my hynotiz- ing ttlenst, to my bro- ther a Ronny a such magical instruments must be kept in the family. i I, Marjorie Brick- er, do bequeath my triple threat-gobs of gab to any school kid that likes to bewilder the teacher too. I, Bob Jesswein, bequeath my breeze and brass to Carl Brown so the child can elaborate further on his fast growing career of same. I, Richard Schneider, bequeath my slug- gish speech specalty to Stepin Fetchit - that boys too fast! I, Boyd Murr, bequeath my uniquely tthumble manner to James Noble Clark, who should ttrelaxll more! I, Ernie Perushak, bequeath my sharp wardrobe to posterity - to keep alive the glory of 01' '43'! I, Ernie Kubiak, bequeath my uAbe Lin- coln logicd in class to J ohn Day-who might: profit from my suggestion. , I, Beryl Everts, bequeath my titian locks: to one Scarlet 'OlHara so she can live up to her name. V I, Helen Adams, bequeath my liquid brown eyes to Fred Allen so he can match Jack Bennyls big blue ones! tConcluded on second page followingt

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I. over to Ruth who just keeps me moving in the air and helps me to continue my flight through the door after picking myself off the ground. I head for the burlesque. Out in front a free sample is being giv- en. Performing at the moment is our own famous Madison quintet: Marjory Davis, Helen Adams, George Antoff, Myra Alley, and Marion Mills, They are combining their singing with a beautiful Hawaiian hula dance. When the free show is all over, I have to use my ticket. Upon entering, my hat, coat, and wallet are taken by a pretty red- headed check girl. She waves one of her eight-inch eyelashes up and down till I dont care if she does want to keep my wallet. Who else could this vamp be but Betty Schutter? At last I come out of my stupor and head for my. seat. Once seated I spot two of my old schoolmates doing a comedy. Their stage names are Jingle and Jerk, better known to us as Edgar Spikeberg and Jack Bauknecht. Edgar is telling J ack how to get a girl. Treat them rough he says. Here comes one across the stage, it,s Alberta Vance; J ack grabs her by the arm, spins her around, starts to kiss her but instead he looks into her eyes and faints. The show must go on, so as they are carrying Jack away, out comes the All-Madison Chorus consisting of Barbara Rockwell, Virginia Friend, J oan LaMountail, Beryl Everts, J ew- ell Browning, Marjorie Bricker, and Betty Beach. There must be a talent scout in the crowd because every girl is trying to out do the other. All the girls are still single except Barbara: opportunity knocked, and in a case like this she opened the door. She now thinks that the door was opened too wide, because Rowland Neale, who is her husband, sneaked in. He is also with the show as subsitute com- edian for Jack, who always passes out every , time Alberta goes by. Their number over, the girls prance gayly off the stage kicking each other as they go. The lights come on bright for intermission While the stage is be- ing set for the only woman mob wrestling match. Soon it is time for the match to start, weights are not mentioned. The contestants are as follows: Crisco Kid tEllen Sweet, Con- go Cracker tEvelyn Barberi, Soda Slugger tMay Eadensi and the Super Stupor tBlanche Henry; Our own Paul Feltzer is going to referee; There goes the bell! The girls ad- vance, not toward each other but toward Paul; they don,t want to be bothered by any man telling them what and what not to do. Paul seeing what is about to happen, exits hurriedly throught a very opportune trap door in the center of the ring. Then the battle is on and itis too horrible to describe. Any- one can see the masses of hair being thrown in every direction. The time limit is up and Paul is called back into the ring to decide who is the winner. After looking at what is left of the five girls, he calls it a draw. All I can hear is bones cracking as the girls catch him. The curtain is closed to save our eyes from witnessing further bloodshed; the lights are dimmed; on goes the spotlight and out from behind the curtain steps Stel- la Stolaruk, now making millions as the worlds greatest opera singer. She will sing that great classical rendition iiHamtramck Mama? Not being able to stand it any longer I head for the train station. As I hurry along, I come close to being run down by four baby buggies, As I pick myself off the ground and get ready to tell the drivers what I think, four familiar girls surround me so I change my mind. They are Shirley Coles, Blanche Dugus, Dolores Oppeneer, and J acqueline Furlow. No, the girls are not all happily married-theyire just advertis- ing buggies for the Perushak Baby Buggy Concern. Ernie follows behind the girls look- ing for sales. Since I am not in the market for Ernieis merchandise, I rush for my train which luckily is just pulling out. Once seat- ed, I lay back and dream of how nice it will be to get back to my fish stand and the little woman, the former Dorothy Wood. - Frank Carline Class Wlll -Con1inued I, Blanche Henry, bequeath my friendli- ness to everyone, to all the students of Mad- ison. I, Paul Fetzer, bequeath my pretty gray car for the pretty gray duration to anyone with a itC card. Signed: Notary Public: Dolores Oppeneer J . W. Embry Barbara Rockwell ' Witnesses: Ernie Perushak . . . Alberta Vance My 00mm13510n expires June 9, 1943