Madison Central High School - Tychoberahn Yearbook (Madison, WI)

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Friday, June 8, 1934 MADISON MIRROR. Page 2 Madison Mirror Published only once by the student of Centre] High School EDITORIAL StATF Managing Editor • Benito Mussolini News Editor ..... Cicero Editor-in-Chief - Adolph Hitler Columnists - Pain Yicstlcy, Lillis Lcwart Sports Editor - - Alexander the Great Reporters - - Fettie Bord, Zert Barky. Gern Fiffin, Varnold Oss Advisor .... Heda L. Band Business Staff Circulation Manager - Josephine Quart Advertising Manager - - Jack Jimson Advisor .... Yaas Biebenlcrg A PLEA FOR DOGGIER AUDS Central has had doggy auds, but not very. We need doggier auds. Why do all the little Middle-lights sleep during the aud programs Because the auds arc not doggy rnough. VV'c should have more dogs and fewer people in the aud. You know the saying The higher the fewer.” Well, that applies to people and dogs. People arc higher. and therefore should be fewer. We feel this to be one of the crying needs oi the present generation. Let us have doggy auds. doggier auds. and the doggiest auds around. Or at least puppy auds once in a while. In conclusion we would quote from the immortal words of the poet Zilchcrist— ABCD puppies LMNO puppies OS MR puppies (censored) PURPLE. RED. PINK The powers that be are too inconsiderate of the feelings of the poor students. This is evident by the fact that those little green library slips arc such a bilious color. We advocate the appointment of a committee to select a new color scheme less trying to the mind—especially in its weaker periods—and more discernible for when you come to school feeling dark green, who can tell the difference between a library slip? White we reject as too trying to tired eyes. The perfect arrangement, we think, would he bright red printing upon a background of purple and yellow stripes with pink polka dots scattered throughout. The royal purple would increase one’s feeling of helplessness, and the yellow would prove a contrast to prevent constant ego. Brain Storms Now, boys and girls, you may all breathe a great big sigh of relief. Because this is absolutely thel ast. the very last, and the final brainstorm that we arc ever going to have. We swear it. At least we won’t have any more publicly, and right now you aren't thco nlv ones that arc sighing with relief cither . . . ♦ ♦ NEW FIXTURES IN THE AUD. According to the tSatc Journal—“Ten new members of the National Honor Society at Central was installed in the Auditorium—“My, My, that’ll be nice for the coming generations.” ♦ ♦ Teacher: Spell Straight.”' Pupil: “S-t-r-a-i-g-h-t.” Teacher: What docs it mean? Pupil: “Without Gingcrale. ♦ 4 Vcrn Yakhe says that the Tower Times’’ has an clastic deadline. So his the Mirror. If you try to stretch it the least bit it snaps you in the face. ♦ 4 Thing I'd like to see before I graduate— 1. Chalis Olsen doing something just a little i ash or dastardly just for once. 2. Mr. Licbcnbcrg without his glasses. 3. Somebody laughing at something in my columns. 4. Teachers giving tests on different days instead of all at once. 4 4 Jay: Is that a speck of dirt on your face?” Mac: “No, that's just a dream.” Jay: Well, did you ever sec a dream walking ?’’ 4 4 Tsk-tsk, Central Seniors, yousc wise guys is sissies. West High's motto was “Out of the frying-pan into the fire. until someone protested. And you make a fuss about “Let the sky be your limit.” Tsk-tsk. Oh well. Build wide your harbor of dreams and let each ship have a cargo of happiness or something like that. 4 4 Mr. Steiner: We breathe oxygen every day of our lives. What do we breathe at night? Dix Power: Nitrogen. 4 4 This seems to be a poetry ssue or something. Here is a poem I made up myself It is about Spring. Spring, beautiful spring. What a wonderful thing Is spring. Radio Rambles Radio row was set all agog last week, not to mention agaga, when it learned that after a whirlwind courtship, Paul White-man with the aid of a I .a Pallina cigar, lured Kate Smith (said Kate. Where there’s smoke there must be fire ) down the grapevine from her second story window and into a subsequent elopement in his Austin roadster. Grade Allen, who has split with her partner ami erstwhile husband. George Burns, ha formed a partnership with Wayne King —a scintillating new star in the comedy heaven. Madame Schumann-Heink and Jimmy Durante are to be teamed on the new Perkin’s Pink Peppermints program. Simour Seymons of Saturday Simonadc show fame, will strut his stimulating stuff at the Streets of Siam. Century of Progress this summer. BIMBLEBUG As to my identity all of you. my friends have been practically right, but safe t« sa not oneo f you have defined the correct Bim-blcbug. Do you notice the word define? Now know if this isn't cut before it reaches you I'll proceed to explain. You remember tile little bug that knew all of your business and whose neck you would like to have wrung. Well this little bug meant no harm whatever ... it was just in fun. I hope I haven't hurt any of you in any way. Now in all seriousness and hitting the head on the nail! I'll continue. The complete Bimblcbug . . . During part of the school year our dear pet” (I'm continuing), Bcttic Ford, was a member of the Himble: then she was washed and I continued alone until the wise little students of Central began accusations! (Delores this is a dig to you!) Then 1 worked this old brain of mine and figured out that I wasn't the bitnblcbng alone. I could never have succeeded (if I have), if it hadn't been for Olive Nelson, Miss Beda Hand. Phyllis Stewart, l.ura Salter. Dottie Landolt for typing it. and all those whose names were printed in this column. All failures go to me alone. This is my definition of the Bimblc-bug—so you see 1 was still sitting in the hand of truth when you accused me and my reply was No! All I can say now is—Goodbye, good luck and the best of good wishes for a happy future. Grads and my classmates! —26—

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McmHas© iffof Volume XI. No. IS Central High School. Mailiwm, Wiacontin Price 10c LAEHLER APPOI Libel Shooters Travel to Lair; Arrested Today Middle High schools’ two dangerous and notorious desperados, Clilly Beveland and Pob Bich were tracked to their hideout and arrested early this morning by Miss Florence Porris, head of the school investigation committee. Upon cross examination, they confessed to the plotting and carrying out of the famous St. Valentine Massacre in a sen-iar Latin class. They will be brought to court on charges of gross libel, assault, and battery next week. HISTORY of CRIME TRACED On the sunny morning ol February 14. 1934, the members of the I .a tin class awoke little witting the dastardly deed being perpetrated to disturb their peace of mind. On their return to their homes after school threatening and libellous missives were discovered in the mail boxes of approximately twelve prominent members of the class. All progress in the Latin class was held up for three days. The decision of handwriting expert Paric Schcnn was that the envelopes had all been addressed by the same person. Handwriting Expert Called in on Case Said Miss Schcnn, This handwriting shows a queer quirk of character in its cxccuter. This statement was a decided help in tracing the criminal according to Miss Porriss. When questioned, the two youthful criminals could give no motive for the crime, but thought it was darn cute. They also refused to name any accomplices. It is to be hoped that in the interest of the peaceful citizenry of the school they will receive tile full penalty of the law in this instance. MASTERPIECE Noddard Proposes New Tax Measure A tax on automatic gum-ejectors was proposed by Mr. Steal Noddard at the last meeting of the S.P.C.A. which was held at the charming country house of Miss Booth Rentzlcr. This tax would increase the amusement revenue in the manner suggested by President Rose-felt in his last radio speech. In short, it would make the government rich at the expense of the poor people,” said Mr. Noddard. This is but one of Mr. Nod-dard's novel ideas for national improvement. He is also in favor of compulsory character analysis of students by unauthora-tativc experts, and public ownership and free admittance to all amusement palaces. Other subjects of interest discussed at the meeting were the questions whether high school girls should wear orange silk stockings, and whether irradiated milk tastes better or worse. ICTATOR Thi Rrpiece b is but one of the to be exhibited by Host’s art classes in their annual exhibition of masterpieces to be held in the Madison transient home Friday next. It was executed by Hilliam Wcund. Spring Is Here Tra, La, La La, La Spring is here, tra-la, tra-la. We know that you know it, but you couldn’t be sure of it until we printed our annual feature about it. Hence this— It’s spring! It must be spring! It IS spring! When the pussywillows burst forth in silken coats from their winter’s rest, and girls who really shouldn't burst forth in ankle sox. When one begins to wonder, is it warmer in the country than in the summer. Then, ah then, my friend is the lime when. And when the little violets COtne peeping through the snowdrifts, and when the robins chirrup sweetly in the tree-tops, and the pansies shed their winter garb (ah THEN! (When!) Then, my children, ah then! It is spring! SCHOOL CALENDAR Wednesday, June 7, Visiting congregation from the grade schools. Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday. June 11-13, Elizabethan torture chamber scenes. Wednesday, June 13, Seniors to be in state of innocuous desuetude. Thursday, June 14. Ants versus Spiders in Grass League hall game. Friday, June 15. Expulsion of undesirable Middle students due to crowded conditions in the institution. Saturday, June 16. AT LAST !!!!!! PURPLE IN POWER HAUT GRAAS. SEC’Y OF AVOIDANCE. DEFEATED FOR DICTATORSHIP (U.R.P. Special)—Weonard A. Ladder, Ccntralitc prominent in left wing purple shirt politics, was today named dictator of the new political regime inaugurated a week ago Tuesday by the pinker group of the purple shirt party at Middle High school. This came as a surprise to the bluer group who strongly advocated the appointment of Hant Graas, secretary of avoidance, to the position. The appointment was made at a special pink tea held to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Purple Dyers, Incorporated. Mrs. Manila Aisch, guest of honor, came attired in a soft grey tea gown trimmed with strings of grape fruit and sauer-kraut. with plum coorcd ruching around the hips. Tea was poured by the Misses Dora Lark and Hcda Band who wore baby blue satin and pink rosettes respectively. Professor Beiner, chemist, assisted in passing the lemons in the receiving line. When questioned about his appointment, Mr. Ladder said, I think this is your problem. Unaccustomed as 1 am to public statements, and modest though I be, I feel that at this time, some slight token of my appreciation should be forthcoming. I wish especially to thank Miss Tulia Jormcy, Mrs. Della Clobie, and Mr. Don Jixon, who helped me stuff the ballot boxes.” After hearing of the appointment Mr. Ladder returned to his home in Cyenc, Wisconsin, to celebrate the event with old friends. A reception in his honor will be given by Mr. Clco Rowley on Tuesday next at his mansion near Governor’s Island on Lake Mendota. 25—

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Friday, June 8, 1934 MADISON MIRROR. Page 3 SEE KENOIT GAME Axel’s TIPS THE FUDDLE Facta and Fi|ur i Maybe it's news to you but diet you know that seven out of everv 11 men or 64% on the fotoball teams that we met this year played in the line . . . “Bib” Smith picked up a third place in TWO-HEARTS JONES the broad jump in one of Middle's three duel meets with a leap of 13 feet, 4f4 inches . . . This is within nine feet of the existing state record, held by Deards, also of this school, and great things are expected from Smith in the future . . . Middle had a full golf team on the field ready to meet West, but just to show that things like that don't really happen outside of story books. West didn't show up . . . Battling Tiny” Johnson, Middle's fast little bantamweight champion, successfully defended his crown against Van John Ber-an . . . The tennis team went through the season without losing a single match, and then went on to take the city and state championships . . . The basketball season was also a success, except for one thing,—the Orange and Black quintet lost out in the finals of the state tournament to Horlick, but this will be remedied next year according to Coach Kichael Bos-key . . . Dirton Hichl, track coach, is heard to say that he thought that if Ray Erdman would concentrate on the mile run, instead of entering the 440, 100, and both hurdles also, he could get down to about 10 minutes flat for the grind. For the thirty-third time in a row Milwaukee high schools failed to place higher than 12th in the state track meet held at Cramp Andall three months ago. Back in 1893 when there were only three schools in the meet Milwaukee East-south-cast placed third but since then they have not done so well. Girls Pick Team by Hurdle Lord II The pink and green 11 defeated the Black and Blue seniors in an exciting contest. The league is made up of the following teams and players: Black and Blue: Ruck Mire, colonel, C. Shoveler. Frances Warts, and Anita Kilium. Pink and Green: Abraham Lincoln, lieutenant, M. Christmas, (Happy New Year), Betty Speak. M. Shortacre, and M. M. Lumberjack. Violet: Cigar Butts, corporal, F.. Mansfield, C. Driver, Fern Joyout, and D. Moan. Kenoit 73-Middle 21 by Innocent Madman After a close, hard battle that lasted for seven minutes the Pur-jays eked out a 73-2J S decision. Had it not been for the broken fingernail sustained by Dim Jean, the star quartcrmiler, Middle would undoubtedly have come out on top. Kenoit gained their meager total by three touch-downsj six charity tosses, an eagle, two aces in the left hand court, a bird in the hand, a slam in the fancy diving, three no trump, vulnerable and doubled, and a homcrun in the ninth inning. Central scored on a terrific smash to midcourt by Hea-to Scaro, ballet specialist. Great things arc hoped for next year despite this discouraging result as the team is losing only the catcher, the No. 1 doubles team, their only ten goal men. the left wing, a reserve center, the three-quarter back, a pole vaultcr, and a breast stroker. Freshmen, Headed by Dora Lark» Win Class Meet The class track meet yesterday proved a big success with the freshmen running away with the meet. The first year men scored 70 out of a possible 108 points with the seniors next in line with 30. followed by the sophomores with 7 and the juniors with one. For the freshman Dora Lark was the star, winning nine events. These included all the running events from two feet six inches to 338 miles. The weight events were dominated by Heda Band, senior ace, who took the 35 pound shot put with a heave of 64 feet, and the discus with a 30 foot mark. The juniors one point was picked up by Betty Zitzman, who leaved 7 feet, 3 inches to take a third in the broad jump, which was won by Yaas Bicbenlerg. Middle Points at Coming Tiff; Favored to Win League leaders will offer stiff competition but do not seem to be strong enough by Bred Faster From the head line atop this story don't get the idea that the Bosicey coached boys arc rude. Far from it. Due to the courtesy campaign sponsored by Dictator Lachler, the members of the quintet, sextet, foursome, duo, nine, eleven, or what have yoxt. you would not think of being so rude as to point at anyone. N.B. They can't think. What the head actually refers to is the coming battle with the Kenoit Pur jays, or as they are more often called, the Parlicks. Your correspondent (just call me Cora) was witnessing a practice of the teams in the gym-iron or was it the gridnasium on the eve of the event referred to above, in which the Orange and Black are the topheavy favorites to come out on top. Coach Boskey decided a scrimmage would be just the thing the team needed for the battle tomorrow, since with all the boys having an I. Q. of at least 120 there would be little need for a signal practice. Deciding that they needed some stiff competition. he picked the Seventh grade Wildcats to oppose them. The rival captains flipped a coin, giving Middle the honors. Hurray Kerchief served, and on the faceoff Two Hearts Jones (I mean Smid” Biff) chose a No. 2 iron, but he smacked the pigskin into the net, giving the enemy a free throw. This was wide of the bullseye and Bob Bean gathered the stitched off the boards and swept down the track gaining speed at every stroke. He slipped the baton over to Bernie Winchell. the Chinncse bantamweight. Practice was called off during the next instant, however, because Bari CaLella. while trying to keep Bernie from tacking poorly. accidentally laid out the whole West team. (I mean Junior High, of course.) From this encouraging exhibition dear old Middle is unanimously picked to trim the Pur-jays, who at the present are leading the race with a .0001 rating. —27—