Madison Central High School - Tychoberahn Yearbook (Madison, WI)

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McmHas© iffof Volume XI. No. IS Central High School. Mailiwm, Wiacontin Price 10c LAEHLER APPOI Libel Shooters Travel to Lair; Arrested Today Middle High schools’ two dangerous and notorious desperados, Clilly Beveland and Pob Bich were tracked to their hideout and arrested early this morning by Miss Florence Porris, head of the school investigation committee. Upon cross examination, they confessed to the plotting and carrying out of the famous St. Valentine Massacre in a sen-iar Latin class. They will be brought to court on charges of gross libel, assault, and battery next week. HISTORY of CRIME TRACED On the sunny morning ol February 14. 1934, the members of the I .a tin class awoke little witting the dastardly deed being perpetrated to disturb their peace of mind. On their return to their homes after school threatening and libellous missives were discovered in the mail boxes of approximately twelve prominent members of the class. All progress in the Latin class was held up for three days. The decision of handwriting expert Paric Schcnn was that the envelopes had all been addressed by the same person. Handwriting Expert Called in on Case Said Miss Schcnn, This handwriting shows a queer quirk of character in its cxccuter. This statement was a decided help in tracing the criminal according to Miss Porriss. When questioned, the two youthful criminals could give no motive for the crime, but thought it was darn cute. They also refused to name any accomplices. It is to be hoped that in the interest of the peaceful citizenry of the school they will receive tile full penalty of the law in this instance. MASTERPIECE Noddard Proposes New Tax Measure A tax on automatic gum-ejectors was proposed by Mr. Steal Noddard at the last meeting of the S.P.C.A. which was held at the charming country house of Miss Booth Rentzlcr. This tax would increase the amusement revenue in the manner suggested by President Rose-felt in his last radio speech. In short, it would make the government rich at the expense of the poor people,” said Mr. Noddard. This is but one of Mr. Nod-dard's novel ideas for national improvement. He is also in favor of compulsory character analysis of students by unauthora-tativc experts, and public ownership and free admittance to all amusement palaces. Other subjects of interest discussed at the meeting were the questions whether high school girls should wear orange silk stockings, and whether irradiated milk tastes better or worse. ICTATOR Thi Rrpiece b is but one of the to be exhibited by Host’s art classes in their annual exhibition of masterpieces to be held in the Madison transient home Friday next. It was executed by Hilliam Wcund. Spring Is Here Tra, La, La La, La Spring is here, tra-la, tra-la. We know that you know it, but you couldn’t be sure of it until we printed our annual feature about it. Hence this— It’s spring! It must be spring! It IS spring! When the pussywillows burst forth in silken coats from their winter’s rest, and girls who really shouldn't burst forth in ankle sox. When one begins to wonder, is it warmer in the country than in the summer. Then, ah then, my friend is the lime when. And when the little violets COtne peeping through the snowdrifts, and when the robins chirrup sweetly in the tree-tops, and the pansies shed their winter garb (ah THEN! (When!) Then, my children, ah then! It is spring! SCHOOL CALENDAR Wednesday, June 7, Visiting congregation from the grade schools. Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday. June 11-13, Elizabethan torture chamber scenes. Wednesday, June 13, Seniors to be in state of innocuous desuetude. Thursday, June 14. Ants versus Spiders in Grass League hall game. Friday, June 15. Expulsion of undesirable Middle students due to crowded conditions in the institution. Saturday, June 16. AT LAST !!!!!! PURPLE IN POWER HAUT GRAAS. SEC’Y OF AVOIDANCE. DEFEATED FOR DICTATORSHIP (U.R.P. Special)—Weonard A. Ladder, Ccntralitc prominent in left wing purple shirt politics, was today named dictator of the new political regime inaugurated a week ago Tuesday by the pinker group of the purple shirt party at Middle High school. This came as a surprise to the bluer group who strongly advocated the appointment of Hant Graas, secretary of avoidance, to the position. The appointment was made at a special pink tea held to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Purple Dyers, Incorporated. Mrs. Manila Aisch, guest of honor, came attired in a soft grey tea gown trimmed with strings of grape fruit and sauer-kraut. with plum coorcd ruching around the hips. Tea was poured by the Misses Dora Lark and Hcda Band who wore baby blue satin and pink rosettes respectively. Professor Beiner, chemist, assisted in passing the lemons in the receiving line. When questioned about his appointment, Mr. Ladder said, I think this is your problem. Unaccustomed as 1 am to public statements, and modest though I be, I feel that at this time, some slight token of my appreciation should be forthcoming. I wish especially to thank Miss Tulia Jormcy, Mrs. Della Clobie, and Mr. Don Jixon, who helped me stuff the ballot boxes.” After hearing of the appointment Mr. Ladder returned to his home in Cyenc, Wisconsin, to celebrate the event with old friends. A reception in his honor will be given by Mr. Clco Rowley on Tuesday next at his mansion near Governor’s Island on Lake Mendota. 25—

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June .THE ORANGE AND BLACK... 1934 STUDY HALL PERSONALITIES By Eaki. Vcm POSSESS I NO .1 studious nature myself, I often have had leisure time to observe others with the in tativc to gain the power that comes front learning. Stwlinm students are rare members of the human race, who occasionally occupy lime, space, and a seat in a building especially designed for the reaping of knowledge. A study hall in such a structure is a quiet place suited for study until the students enter Presently one then hear u series of sighs, plaintive squeak front tin student's chairs, an occasion 11 groan of despair, the thud of dropping Itooks. anil vague whi%-jiers. Occasionally one detects the sharp an l disturbing crack of ,m accidi ntal'y dropped desk top. if he is watching close!)-, he will see a beautiful cherry red ldu h suffuse the face of the dropper. I remember on one occasion I had tin-pleasure of visiting one of these sjh»|s of peace and contentment. I had entered this sanctum and Itctnken myself to u hick seat, when the valiant pursuer. of knowledge made their usually dignified ami pompous ingress to this restful spot. Unexpectedly I recalled to mind the vivid picture of a herd of hull elephants on a wild rampage of terror running through u native village of Africa. An unusual, an unaccountable pirturt—to tin's very day I cannot explain why it rose in my mind. In an orderly confusion tin- devotees of study found their respective place and quietly laying down their books, vigorously applied tlu-msolves to study. I noticed one student in particular who seemed to be applying his full powers «,f concentratkm to an excellent copy of Wall Disney's famous “Mickey Mouse''! With great care and skill he sketched the tumed-up nose ami colored the hair and cars of Mickey. Evidently thoroughly satiefied with his work of art, he heaved a sigh of contentment ami turned to a more important task -day dreaming wondering where she was and what she was doing. Leaving my glance to roam at will, it settled on a student who was doing quite .t different thing. She was thoroughly enjoying herself in tearing up sheets of paper and then lining them hack together again with a skill that comes only of long, arduous practice. lathered around her were several kihbitzcrs doing their lie»t to misadvise her a to the correct location of several pieces. Suddenly my attention was diverted by the frantic waving of a white doth. At first I thought that the attention of some other person was needed. Intt a moment later full realization of the white doth struck me! ! It was a Hag of truce! ! At first I lud failed to realize the cause of tin flag: hut then I saw—these two responsible, prospective general had been having a miniature World War with the aid of small white pcIlcL . It was also then apparent to me that these reapers nf knowledge had !»e«0 concentrating on the innumerable strategies of warfare They appeared to have solved the problem of how to cover the most ground with thrir shots, for the jiellcts were strewn from one end of the ground to thr other. Slightly aided by my fancy I pictured a war scene just after a newly fallen snow: so thickly did the missile abound in their “no man’s land.” At this moment it was imperative that I leave this home of the philosphcrs and sclmlars and come out into the noisy world Beyond a doubt. I’m sure that you'll agree with me, that witlmut these studious students .this planet would hr a better place on which to live. JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT COUNCIL S t»«l (tell 10 rlfhl)—Tut JnffrrU. Robrrt Laurk, Mm l n Meyer. Bm Dermnn. Ijirram. Thompson, Dotul hy Uwrtnrt, R y Farneu, Dorothy Kortllne, Nicholas Marirlt , Joe Barnett, Erin Knrp, Louise DuBoD, Irene Co . Lorraine Sweet. Joy Mne Ltditmiberg, Lloyd PUth, Mildred •Com, Virginia HolUn, Donald SvelnUk . Jnmrs Kennedy. Standing—Wilbur Frye. Arthur Wellman. Lron-.•rd Frydenlund. Geor e Hnrvelrr, Robert BJrrk. Stanley Thompson, Hulburt Pinkerton HATS Bv Phyllis Stewart SINCE time immcomorial the eccentricities of headgear worn by the fair sex have been a great problem to thr male inhabitants of the earth. Adam can have considered himself lucky that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden failed to include any ladies' hat , or goodness only knows what woe would have been his and our If a mere apple tempted Eve, we shudder to think what effect a Eugenie bonnet perched alongside a fig tree would have had on her susceptible nature. At least we were spared that, But the ensuing years have not been as kind. Given several years to work in, women with their heady creations have wrought incalculable damage on the succeeding Adams, Man has had to suffer through all these generations while woman has placed upon her head everything from the plumage of half the birds of the desert to an art work liest described a a veiled, inverted ice cream cone. The pacing of time has only served to make a had matter worse and so this year with his resistance completely shattered, man lias meekly and without protest accepted thr new evil thm«t upon him. But don't think this silence doc not conceal a broken heart. In this year of our l»rd, 1934, woman Ills seen fit to adorn herself with a creation defying description. It looks like nothing so much a an inverted sauce pan fitted in a circular price of straw having a wing span ranging anywhere from six indies to one foot. Tlu» in tome fashion is placed slightly sideways on the head so that one side of the brim droops down toward one shoulder. If it is the gentleman's fate to be placed on the drooping side, he luis the equivalent of a signboard between him ami his lady love. Bill if he is on the other side he's assurer! of the identical protection that a good sized beach umbrella might afford As to the dangers of this capcatt to the wearer, wr have one grave fear, Someday a fair damsel located on hilltop is going to lie surprised by a lusty gust of wind ami take off.

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Friday, June 8, 1934 MADISON MIRROR. Page 2 Madison Mirror Published only once by the student of Centre] High School EDITORIAL StATF Managing Editor • Benito Mussolini News Editor ..... Cicero Editor-in-Chief - Adolph Hitler Columnists - Pain Yicstlcy, Lillis Lcwart Sports Editor - - Alexander the Great Reporters - - Fettie Bord, Zert Barky. Gern Fiffin, Varnold Oss Advisor .... Heda L. Band Business Staff Circulation Manager - Josephine Quart Advertising Manager - - Jack Jimson Advisor .... Yaas Biebenlcrg A PLEA FOR DOGGIER AUDS Central has had doggy auds, but not very. We need doggier auds. Why do all the little Middle-lights sleep during the aud programs Because the auds arc not doggy rnough. VV'c should have more dogs and fewer people in the aud. You know the saying The higher the fewer.” Well, that applies to people and dogs. People arc higher. and therefore should be fewer. We feel this to be one of the crying needs oi the present generation. Let us have doggy auds. doggier auds. and the doggiest auds around. Or at least puppy auds once in a while. In conclusion we would quote from the immortal words of the poet Zilchcrist— ABCD puppies LMNO puppies OS MR puppies (censored) PURPLE. RED. PINK The powers that be are too inconsiderate of the feelings of the poor students. This is evident by the fact that those little green library slips arc such a bilious color. We advocate the appointment of a committee to select a new color scheme less trying to the mind—especially in its weaker periods—and more discernible for when you come to school feeling dark green, who can tell the difference between a library slip? White we reject as too trying to tired eyes. The perfect arrangement, we think, would he bright red printing upon a background of purple and yellow stripes with pink polka dots scattered throughout. The royal purple would increase one’s feeling of helplessness, and the yellow would prove a contrast to prevent constant ego. Brain Storms Now, boys and girls, you may all breathe a great big sigh of relief. Because this is absolutely thel ast. the very last, and the final brainstorm that we arc ever going to have. We swear it. At least we won’t have any more publicly, and right now you aren't thco nlv ones that arc sighing with relief cither . . . ♦ ♦ NEW FIXTURES IN THE AUD. According to the tSatc Journal—“Ten new members of the National Honor Society at Central was installed in the Auditorium—“My, My, that’ll be nice for the coming generations.” ♦ ♦ Teacher: Spell Straight.”' Pupil: “S-t-r-a-i-g-h-t.” Teacher: What docs it mean? Pupil: “Without Gingcrale. ♦ 4 Vcrn Yakhe says that the Tower Times’’ has an clastic deadline. So his the Mirror. If you try to stretch it the least bit it snaps you in the face. ♦ 4 Thing I'd like to see before I graduate— 1. Chalis Olsen doing something just a little i ash or dastardly just for once. 2. Mr. Licbcnbcrg without his glasses. 3. Somebody laughing at something in my columns. 4. Teachers giving tests on different days instead of all at once. 4 4 Jay: Is that a speck of dirt on your face?” Mac: “No, that's just a dream.” Jay: Well, did you ever sec a dream walking ?’’ 4 4 Tsk-tsk, Central Seniors, yousc wise guys is sissies. West High's motto was “Out of the frying-pan into the fire. until someone protested. And you make a fuss about “Let the sky be your limit.” Tsk-tsk. Oh well. Build wide your harbor of dreams and let each ship have a cargo of happiness or something like that. 4 4 Mr. Steiner: We breathe oxygen every day of our lives. What do we breathe at night? Dix Power: Nitrogen. 4 4 This seems to be a poetry ssue or something. Here is a poem I made up myself It is about Spring. Spring, beautiful spring. What a wonderful thing Is spring. Radio Rambles Radio row was set all agog last week, not to mention agaga, when it learned that after a whirlwind courtship, Paul White-man with the aid of a I .a Pallina cigar, lured Kate Smith (said Kate. Where there’s smoke there must be fire ) down the grapevine from her second story window and into a subsequent elopement in his Austin roadster. Grade Allen, who has split with her partner ami erstwhile husband. George Burns, ha formed a partnership with Wayne King —a scintillating new star in the comedy heaven. Madame Schumann-Heink and Jimmy Durante are to be teamed on the new Perkin’s Pink Peppermints program. Simour Seymons of Saturday Simonadc show fame, will strut his stimulating stuff at the Streets of Siam. Century of Progress this summer. BIMBLEBUG As to my identity all of you. my friends have been practically right, but safe t« sa not oneo f you have defined the correct Bim-blcbug. Do you notice the word define? Now know if this isn't cut before it reaches you I'll proceed to explain. You remember tile little bug that knew all of your business and whose neck you would like to have wrung. Well this little bug meant no harm whatever ... it was just in fun. I hope I haven't hurt any of you in any way. Now in all seriousness and hitting the head on the nail! I'll continue. The complete Bimblcbug . . . During part of the school year our dear pet” (I'm continuing), Bcttic Ford, was a member of the Himble: then she was washed and I continued alone until the wise little students of Central began accusations! (Delores this is a dig to you!) Then 1 worked this old brain of mine and figured out that I wasn't the bitnblcbng alone. I could never have succeeded (if I have), if it hadn't been for Olive Nelson, Miss Beda Hand. Phyllis Stewart, l.ura Salter. Dottie Landolt for typing it. and all those whose names were printed in this column. All failures go to me alone. This is my definition of the Bimblc-bug—so you see 1 was still sitting in the hand of truth when you accused me and my reply was No! All I can say now is—Goodbye, good luck and the best of good wishes for a happy future. Grads and my classmates! —26—