Madison Central High School - Tychoberahn Yearbook (Madison, WI)

Text from Pages 1 - 154 of the 1901 volume:

Have you seen our New Single oven Gas Range with Boiler Attachment? It is worth your time to look at it. We also have a number of other New Patterns this season and will be pleased to show them. Madison Gas and Electric Company 124 - 126 E. Main Street. Call and see The Celebrated line of Q. D. M. Guaranteed Clothing Nobbiest Patterns ever shown Quammen, Danielson Mueller, Tailors, Clothiers and Men’s Furnishers 23 S. Pinckney St We ave Something that you need in Text Books, Blank Books, Stationery, Baseball and Golf Goods, Music, Pictures, Frames, Books. We carry a full line of all these goods and will be glad to show you all we have. Come in and see us. L, J. Pickarts Co, Hollister’s Pharmacy First National Bank Block The Leading Drug Emporium in the City. Fresh New Up-to-date goods In all lines. At Correct Prices For That Weary Spring Feeling Take Rocky Mountain Tea It helps the head and brain, quickens the perception and makes the comprehension of seemingly difficult problems easy to solve. An excellent Spring Medicine on which to build up for final examinations and the “strenuous life” to follow. The Genuine made only by The Madison Medicine Co. . I. Madison, Wis Do you know that Sullivan Heim carry a swell line of Clothing and Furnishing Goods? They also make shirts to order. W. T. McConnell Son, GROCERS, 23 N. Pinckney St. Madison, Wis. THE TYCHOBERAHN 1901 AN ANNUAL ISSUED BY THE STUDENTS OF MADISON HIGH SCHOOL This is an old cut but ours is an old building. When we get. a neiv building we ic ill get a new cut. The Editors. To Him Who builds the fires that warm our souls, Who fills the furnace ujKwith coeds, Who opes the doors for students aJl, Who cleaneth up our ancient h Jl, But why go on? In short, to “John, Who works from early morn 'till late. Our little book we dedicate. M. H. S. Faculty. Prof. Hutchison Physics Miss Tullis Latin Grammar Caesar Miss Flora Moseley English Mr. Stangel Physics Physical Geo. Miss Oakley Geometry Algebra Miss Kleinpell German Miss O’Connor German Miss Stock German Mr. Snow Rhetoricals Miss Anna Moseley Latin Grammar Cicero Virgel Miss McGovern English Lit. Shakespeare Miss Murphy H istory Mr. Link Algebra Geometry Miss Anthony Biology Physiology Miss Chynoweth History Mr. Adanrs Civil Gov’t. Miss Nelson Greek Miss Weld English Miss Cravath Drawing Mr. Churchill Physiology Biology Miss Smith Music 11 Our Wigwam. Ne Shall I tell the painful story, Tell the tale of shame and sorrow Of the Wigwam of Tychoberah? How it stood among the lodges Like a squaw, all old and wrinkled? Thirty winters had it stood there, Stood the Wigwam of Tychoberah In the Land of the Great Spirit, While the north wind, Kabibon'okka Tore and rent and spat upon it. Shouting down the dingy smoke-hole, Tore the door-flaps from their fastenings Heaped upon it cold snow-blankets. Left the Wigwam of Tychoberah Standing there among the lodges Like a squaw, all old and wrinkled. Thirty winters had it stood there, Stood the Wigwam of Tychoberah In the Land of the Great Spirit, While the children of Tychoberah Flocked within its dingy door-flaps, Flocked to hear the words of wisdom Of the sage of Hiskoolashkee, Of the master, Hutcheesahnee, As he sat within the Wigwam Breathing forth his words of wisdom. From the banks of fair Mendota, From the ripples of Monona, From the reeds of Wingra, came they. Came and listened to the master As he sat within the Wigwam Breathing forth his words of wisdom; In the Wigwam of Tychoberah Standing there among the lodges Like a squaw, all old and wrinkled. Thirty winters had it stood there, Stood the Wigwam of Tychoberah In the Land of the Great Spirit, While the passing braves and warriors, Gazing at the worn-out Wigwam, Spoke them one unto another, Saying, “What a shame and pity That the Wigwam of Tychoberah Should stand there so old and dingy. ” Then from out their dirty deerskins The ill-smelling tire-weed drew they. Sat them down on sunny door-mats And amid the curling smoke-wreathes Fought again their merry battles, Told themselves, “Me heap big warrior.” Left the Wigwam of Tychoberah Standing there among the lodges Like a squaw, all old and wrinkled. Thirty winters it has stood there, Stood the Wigwam of Tychoberah In the Land of the Great Spirit. Still the children of Tychoberah Flock to hear the words of wisdom Of the master Hutcheesahnee As he sits within the wigwam Breathing forth his words of wisdom. But from banks of fair Mendota, From the ripples of Monona, From the reedy shoals of Wingra Comes a cry of supplication, Comes a prayer of hope and longing To the throne of the Great Spirit Gitche Manito, the mighty: “O, great father of thy people ’Ere again comes, Kabibonokka May there stand, in strength and beauty In the Land of the Great Spirit A new Wigwam of Tychoberah Which shall stand among the lodges Like a warrior in his beauty Like a king among his people. Freshman Girl. Dear Child, for child you are, I say In spite of all denial. You’ve started on your high school way, Your mettle is on trial, And as we watch you day by day, We rather like your style. Now as your first year’s almost through The whole school’s verdict is. “You’ll do.” 14 Our Class History and Merits. Delivered by the Freshmen to the Sophs., Juniors, Seniors, Teachers. Profs.etc. at M. H. S Ye call us Best, and ye do well to call them Best, who, for one long year have met, in this old High School, every shape of noun or verb the broad pages of our Latins could furnish and never yet have lowered our marks. If there be one among you who can say that ever, in our translations or recitations, our “stabbing”did make us “flunk,” let him stand forth and say it. If fifty in all yonr company dare to against us stand, let them come on. And yet we were not always thus, cruel butchers, savage killers of those old Latin verbs. Our fathers came from New England and settled among the laid out blocks and grass clad yards of this city. Our ward school life ran noisily as the battles of which we studied and, when, one morn, we gathered beneath the shade of this old building, there was a Prof, the head of the high school, to keep us in good order. We led our steps through the same doorway and enjoyed together our rustic rooms. One evening after school was over and wre were all seated beneath the ceiling which shaded the main room, the professor was telling us of Regan and Sanders and how, in ancient times, a dozen men on the gridiron had been backed up by a whole army. We did not then know what defeat was but our cheeks burned, we knew not why, and we clasped the sides of those old desks and hollered and cheered until the Prof, cooling our enthusiasm, bade us go home and wait one day for a grand game and glorious fight. That very next day the South Side High School landed on the field and at Camp Randall we saw the men we depended upon trampled by the hoofs of South Side and the bleeding body of Sanders flung amidst the yellow rafters of the grand stand. This year we killed some Sophs, at the time of hazing, and, when we brake their skulls, behold! they were all hollow. We told “John” that their heads were full of vacuum and we begged that we might bear away the rest and burn them on a funeral pile amidst the waves of Lake Mendota: Ay! Upon our knees,down in the dusty cellar we begged that poor boon while all the assembled teachers backed us up and promised high marks if we would get rid of the Sophs; but “John” drew back when we spoke of their pollution and sternly said, “Let the old things rot, there are no noble men but Freshmen,” and so, first graders, you and so must I bear their foolishness. O, comrades, teachers, school books,if we must buck, let us buck for ourselves, if we must learn,let us learn our own lessons, if we must flunk, let it be with a straight face in-1 this building from noble, honorable stabbing' 15 Sophomore Girl. Here we have a “Maid of Note” Well skilled in that occupation And we, in our admiration, On her missives “simply dote.” Beauty, wit, and fascination Prom her lovely presence float. Object of our adoration Hail to you, fair “Maid of Note!” 16 History of 75he Cla.ss of 03 On a sunny morning, that, of the eleventh of September, 1899, there issued from the wildernesses that terminate at the four sides of the eapitol park, a band of savages. All were bound for one destination, that which is sought by all ambitious souls,—The Madison High School. With open mouths came they and with stumbling steps, drinking in the novelty of their surroundings and trying vainly not to appear green. Some long of limb, others short of trousers, they made a motley gathering, grouped on the steps before the great front door that was about to admit them to four long years of tests, flunks and interviews in the office. The bell rang, the door opened and they entered into the Halls of Knowledge and hatpegs. After wandering helplessly about for a time, they were gathered and tucked into the old main room where, when instructions and much good advice had been received, they were told to comeagain, and dismissed. The way in which they were treated at the beginning was slightly disturbing to the Freshman peace of mind, for a Freshman, (however differently he may suppose), is gifted with but a piece of mind, which developes as he grows older. If they had congratulated themselves upon knowing anything when they had entered High School, they were speedily undeceived. Convinced that only Sophs, are vile, they determined to redeem themselves if possible from their degraded position, by a persistent effort. Playing tag with the class rooms at first, and chagrined to find it was generally they who were IT, they settled down to hard work, growing daily more sedate and wondering vaguely how a dog, wandering anywhere in the vicinity of the High School, could still retain enough levity of spirit to wag his tail. At last there came a day in June; and what is so rare as that particular day in .June, wnich comes but four times in the whole High School course! Then, if they had been diligent, they might hold up their heads and, for the first time in a year, look the whole world in the face and cry with a voice of gladness born of a joyful heart, “We are Sophomores!” Yes we are Sophomores, We are aware of the fact and so are the Freshmen. Diligent, non rough-housing, of the brilliant class of 1903—we are Sophomores. And next year, by the grace of our teachers, we shall be Juniors. 17 Junior Girl. The Senior’s rule is almost done, the Freshman’s only just begun, But your’s is in its flower, The Senior’s going makes us blue but Heaven be thanked we still have you To hold us in your power. And ever in your own sweet way you’ll rule us all beneath your sway And make us e’er your slaves, And this the burden of our song, ‘‘Our hearts and hands to you belong, Until we fill our graves. 18 History of 75 e CIqlss of 1902, And this is the story of the tribe of 1902: Now it came to pass in the reign of the Prophet John, who did rule over the realm wherein the roots of all true knowledge were and had had their beginning, that a certain nation came unto his palace, and, through the mouth of one, Rex, son of Welton, a mighty man who did deliberate at the great assemblage of our fathers, did beg entrance therein. And John did much rejoice thereat, that so great and so learned a tribe should grace his halls, and sent one of his dearly beloved disciples, Denu, renowned for his largeness of mouth, unto them to receive them with rejoicings. Now this nation was formed of many tribes that, when they had heard of this renowned king, had girded up their loins and had come in all haste, yea, even from the fifth and sixth wards, seeking knowledge. There was great enmity between this nation and the nation of 1901, and numerous members of the nation of 1901 did attack a few members of the nation of .1902. But these arose in their might and smote them hip and thigh. And there was one, Baas, who smote the lyre and did sing most teunfully, yea, the very beasts did stop to attend his note. Thus this nation graced the halls of the Prophet John with music and with words of wisdom. It has abode in the land of knowledge now for the third year, and has so gleaned in the fields of John even from its going-in unto its conning-out that it has learned much therefrom, yea, the women have gained knowledge even as to the correct form of an epistle. 19 Now it was the custom of this place that each nation in the third year that it had abode there, kill the fatted calf, call in the other nations and give all to revelry; so the nation of 1902 did likewise call in the nations that then abode there, which were the nation of 1901, the nation of 1903 and the nation of 1904, and did give all to merriment. And this great event surpassed all previous ones and John’s disciples did open their eyes most widely, and did drop their jaws most wond-rously at the great splendor displayed, and their ears were enchanted by the dulcet music and their eyes wondered at the beauty of the fair maidens. Now the nation of 1902 has sown its seeds for three years, it hopes that they may have fallen not among the tares, to be choked, but on fertile ground, to thrive and bear fruit a hundred-fold, yea, two-hundred-fold. i Little Lord Fa.utleroy Pei £ra.. (Asa Freshman). 20 Senior Class Officers. Tall Term. President____________________3obn Daniells Sec. and Treas_______________IDarion 3ones Ulinter Term. President_______________Ulillard Dcnu Sec, and Treas____________fWar aret Donovan Spring Term. President------------------------Zura Upham Sec. and Treas_________________Hattie Roescb Valedictorian________________Bertha Taylor Salulatorian_________________Tred l.arkin Dear girl, all classes bow to you. Soph. Junior, Freshman, Senior too, In sooth we all feel pretty blue To think we soon must lose you. So here’s to you, oh maid sedate, Go forth, mankind upon you wait, Ask what you will of kindly Fate, There’s naught she can refuse you. 22 History of J5he Cla.ss of 1901. According to custom and precedent, this history ought to begin with the fact that we were Suns while other classes were Moons, and other things equally foolish. • Now, while we are not denying the fact that no class ever created a more favorable opinion on the faculty, nevertheless, we are willing to acknowledge our faults, (which are few), and say we have profited by the experience that we have undergone as pupils of the High School. We entered High School as Freshmen, September 6th 1897, a day which is marked in the logbook of our “alma mater” as one of the most momentous events that have occurred since the time that Will Shakespeare first published “The Mystery of the Boarding House,” or “What was in the Hash.” As Freshmen are always credited with being green, we want to cite a few instances that will go to show that we were not. First, it was not a month before the grass around the school lost its emerald hue, and became bleached and whitened—a very suggestive omen. Second, the green “black”-boards changed color, and had to be recoated during the Xmas vacation. Third, one of the teachers who started out by calling us by our “front” names, began inside of a month to call us “Mr.s” and “Misses.” We could show hundreds of instances equally suggestive, did space permit. However, these three are enough to prove that, (in the words of the encyclopedia), we were not the same, chromatically, as our predecessors. One reason why we were so well liked by the teachers, was that we didn’t pretend to know it all—only a little bit—and the worst thing any of us ever did was to write notes. It used to be, that Freshmen were always hazed; now we were singularly exempt from that trying process, almost to a “man.” There were, it is true, a few of those who started that year, who were played with a little; one put in the lake; another obliged to take his shoes and stockings off and climb a tree and another had to warble a little solo on the east steps 23 of the school building, but that was all. The class above us had insight enough to see that we needed little, if any, disciplining. The second year of our career was uneventful. We kept the even tenure of our way, and walked in the straight and narrow path of good behavior—a path we have followed to this day. Visitors always remarked that we were more attentive to our studies than any other class in the room. The “Guile” we had in our first year stood us in good stead. In 1899 we became Juniors. We organized the class, and elected ’Gene Fuller President. We chose Purple and Gold as our colors, and selected a class pin. Then came our class party—a party of parties—a model by which succeeding Juniors will do well to copy. Now we are come to the last year (for most of us) of our sti.y here. A short time and our feet will tread the floors of the Madison High School no more. Underclassmen! do you know what you are going to lose? The elevating and uplifting influence and care of the greatest class that has ever left High School. It makes our very hearts bleed to think that there will be but a few of us who will consent to stay and comfort you in your bereavement. Juniors, we leave the guidance of the rest of the school to you, teachers included. Be kind and gentle, but also firm, that the underclassmen step not out of the path of righteousness or fall by the way-side. Remember your dignity, and keep it,—and may Prof, have mercy oil you. Our little hour of high school life is fleeting, Our short allotted time is almost past: It seems as if old Time was surely cheating, He’s taken these four years of ours so fasl, We’ve stabbed and bucked and made the indentation On the High School’s lasting tablets, of our fame, And remember, when you see our graduation, That despite our toils, we got there just the same. Just a word before we close our exhortation, Of advice ’twill pay you always to heed well, Whatever is your class or situation, Don’t you e’er forget the grand old High School yell. 24 TEMPLE OF FAME. “A mind serene for contemplation. ” Elizabeth Abaly......................................M. c. IV Grade Girl’s Glee Club; Arbor Day Committee. “A man of weight. ” Chauncy Abbott..................................M. c, Base Ball Team (3); Class Team(l), (2); Foot Ball (4); Track Team (3), (4): Chairman, Arrangement Committee, 3rd Grade Party; Literary Society (Honorary): A Buffalo. “A maiden modest, yet self possessed.” Mabel Adams........................................g. s. “Comb down his hair, look, look:, it stands upright!” Rolf Anderson....................................... S. •Publisher, H. S. Nc ws (Deceased). • wit “Beware of h ?r fair hair,, for she .excels all others in the • .. . magic of her lock .’.’ Josephine Louise Bach..................................m. c. Toast, Senior Banquet; IV Grade Girl’s Glee Club. “A steady, sober sort of a citizen.” George Stanley Barber..................................m. c. Decoration Committee, 3rd Grade Party; A Buffalo. “Sober, steadfast and demure.” Katie Agnes Billington.................................. s. “A pleasant, smiling cheek, a speaking eye.” Cora Ethel Bissell................................... g. s. Decoration Committee, Commencement. “A mirthful maiden she, and young.” Kathryn Isabelle Brahany...............................m. C. IV Grade Girl’s Glee Club. 25 VOTfeb W “Then he will talk; Ye Gods; how he will talk!” Berton Braley...........................................M. c. Foot Ball Team (4): Tychoberalin Board (chairman) ’01; Business Management, Tychoberalin. “Her cheeks are like the rosy dawn. ” Agnes Elizabeth Brei ten bach...........................m. c. “He’s a queer genius.” Charles Breitenstein...................................M.. c “A smile, so quick, so warm, so light, It speaks a nature full of light.” Adelia Edith Buell......................................m. c. Glee Club. “Work is my recreation.” Roy Butler...................................... : r . ..•• “A modost'selfcontahied thaid. ” Lulu Cass............j. ... •. . . •v . . ......i ; “Grace wqs in aU.he;r steps.” , Grace S. Cant well... ...... «A iv- • • . ENG. .ENG. . M. C. “I love my adversary’s legs to kick, To frisk upon his features with my feet; Or knock him in the stomach till lie’s sick. All this is sweet.” Fred Collman..........................................eng. Base Ball Team (3); Class Team (1), (2); Foot Ball (4); Track Team (2);Literary Society; Arrangement Committee, Senior Banquet; Class Prophecy, Senior Banquet. “Weary, oh, so weary of it all.” Frank M. Conlin.......................................G. s, Literary Society; Decoration Committee, Senior Party. 26 “He’s quite a case.” Arthur Compton.....................................m. C. Toast, Senior Banquet. “So wise, so young they say do ne’er live long.” Leo M. Cook........................................g. s Track Team (3), (4). “She has a glowing heart, they say.” Jessie Morrell Coombs..............................eng. “But still the wonder grew, That one small head could carry all he knew. Forbes B. Cronk....................................M. c. Literary Society, Secretary (4); Semi Public (4); Arbor Day Oration (3): Toast, Senior Banquet. “How long, O Lord, how long!” John Daniells..........................................M. c . President of Class (4); Vice President (3); Treasurer Athletic Association (4); Track Team (3), (4); Capt. Track Team (4); Foot Ball (4); Literary Society (Honorary); A Buffalo. “Our dear little dimpled darling.” Earl Harvey Darling..................................eng. Orchestra. “When I think I must speak. ” George Lewis DeLacy..................................M. C. Arbor Day (1), (3): Farewell to Graduating Class (3); President of Class (3); Vice President (3); Vice President Literary Society; Toast, Senior Banquet; Arbor Day Oration(4). “Custom calls me to it, What custom wills, In all things should we do it.” 27 Willard Denu.......................................G. S. Vice President Literary Society; Semi Public (3); President of Class (4); Graduation Committee. “Blest with plain reason and with sober sense.” Arthur Doming......................................M. C. Class Base Ball Team (3). “And another angel came out of the temple” Margeret Monica Estelle Donovan....................M. c. Decoration Committee, 3rd Grade Party; Nautilus Club; Secretary-Treasurer of Class (4); IV Grade Girl’s Glee Club; Decoration Committee, Arbor Day. “Happy am I, from care I’m free, Why ain’t they all contented like me?” John Ellestad......................................eng. “A bold, bad man.” Richard Ely.........................................A. c. “An open-hearted maiden.” Martha Pay..........................................m. C. “There must be plenty of good hard work in him, for none has ever come out.” John Ford...........................................G. s. “His dancing, OH his dancing’” John Froelich.......................................G. s. Decoration Committee, Senior Banquet. “Still waters run deep.” Eugene Fuller.......................................eng. Foot Ball Team (2), (3), (4); President of Class (3); Track Team (1), (2), (3), (4), Captain (3). “A still small voice.” G. s. 28 Alice Gallagher “All tongues speak of him.” Ernst Albert George Guenther..........................G. S. Literary Society, Vice President, Censor, Secretary. “How sweet and gracious even in copimon speech!” Adelaide E. Griffiths.................................M. c. Glee Club (3), (4). “At whose sight all the stars hide their diminished heads.” Eduardo Jonathan Hammer...............................eng. Literary Society: Track Team (4);Entered as Junior from Hillsboro, Wisconsin. “Woman’s minds, Like winter winds, May shift and turn And a’ that!” Thusnelda Helm................................... G. S Class Pin Committee. “The mildest manners and the gentlest heart.” Edna Lucretia Harrison..............................M. C. Class Color Committee (3); Toast. Senior Banquet. “The ragtime artist.” Harold Hardy........................................eng. Orchestra; Quartette. “She’ll make sweet eyes at any man.” Ida Hawkins.........................................G. S. “Why, saw you anything more wonderful?” Frank Hinrichs......................................M. c. Annual Board ’01 (Senior name committee) Business Management, Annual: Toast Senior Banquet; A Buffalo. “How I love to wind my mouth up—how I love to hear it go.” Rob Roy Hiestand...............................G. s. Annual Board ’00; Business Management Annual ’01; 29 A Buffalo; Literary Society (Honorary); Arrangement Committee, Senior Banquet; Class History, Arbor Day. “She turned her notes both evensong and morn.” Marietta Holt.......................................eng. Nautilus Club, President (3); IV Grade Girl’s Glee Club. “I’ll catch e’er it comes to the ground.” Joseph Hyland........................................eng. Base Ball Team (3); Class Team (2), (3). “Woman’s at best a contradiction still.” Hazel Isaacs........................................M. e. Decoration Committee, 3rd Grade Party; Decoration Committee, Senior Party; Glee Club (3), (4). “She speaks an infinite deal of nothing.” Marjorie Johnson......................................g. s. President, Nautilus Club (4). “Fair girl by whose simplicity My spirit has been won.” Una Lone Johnson.......................................G. s. “Of spirit so still and quiet.” Gwen Jones........................................m. c. IV Grade Girl’s Glee Club; Nautilus Club, Treasurer (3), Secretary (3). “Exceeding wise, fair spoken and persuading.” Marion Jones.......................................M. c. Secretary-Treasurer of Class (3); Tychoberahn Board ’01: Nautilus Club, (Book Committee); Toast, Senior Banquet. “Business before pleasure.” Manager Foot Ball Team. 30 Alan Ketehum ENG. “Aye, every inch a king.” Max King.............................................G. s. “Her words are trusty heralds to her mind.” Ottilie Louise Kirst.................................eng. Entered Madison High School as Senior. “In mathematics he was greater than Tycho Brahe.” Fred Viall Larkin....................................G. s. Salutatorian; Vice President Literary Society. “Those eyes so dark and bright.” Olive Lawson.........................................G. s. “In every deed of mischief he had a heart to contrive and a head to execute. ” Charles Leatzow......................................m. c. A soul above trifles.” Augusta Lor eh.......................................M. c. IV Grade Girls’ Glee Club. Her heart is far from fraud, as heaven from earth.” Elizabeth Marie Lynch................................G. s. Glee Club. Tis folly to be wise.” Emmett Lyons.........................................G. s. Literary Society; Decoration Committee, Senior Banquet; Class Pin Committee (3). Of manner gentle, of affection mild.” Lois Main............................................M. c. Young tho’ I am, Still shall I do my best.” Reuben Neckerman.....................................G. s. Orchestra. A face demure, but Oh, those eyes!” Cora M. Norsman......................................m. c. 31 Arrangement Committee, 3rd Grade Party; Decoration Committee, Senior Party; Decoration Comittee, Senior Banquet; Nautilus Club; IV Grade Girls Glee Club; Annual Board ’01 (Senior Name Committee). I am IT” Harry Olson........................................G. S. Oh, Heavens what have we here?’, Roy Owen..............................................G. S. Entered as Senior from Chicago. “A rare compound of frolic and fun.” Marshall Pengra.......................................M. c. „Du bift trie eiue 3Uumc, So fjetb unb fcftcu uiib rein. Carl Pfund............................................m. C. “Little, but O my!” Claire Parsons.....................................m. c. IV Grade Girls’ Glee Club. “You have a natural wise sincerity—a single truthfulness.” Edith Post..........................................G. S. “But still her tongue ran on.” Claudien Pur telle.................................M. c. “Winning are her ways.” Marie Redel........................................m. c “I must have been asleep, aye, sound asleep.” Frank Regan........................................M. c. “Not a young, giddy, thoughtless maiden.” Alma Reif..........................................m. c 32 “One-fifth of him genius and four-fifths sheer fudge.” Leveret Ernest Rice...................................M. c. Class Color Committee (3); Boys’ Glee Club (3); Arbor Day Committee. “The choicest things come done in smallest parcels.” Hattie Roesch........................................g. s. Class Motto Committee (3); Arrangement Committee, Class Party; Sec ret ary-Treasurer of Class (4); Decoration Committee, IV Grade Banquet. Brave spirits are balsam to themselves.” Lulu Lillian Runge...................................eng How sweetly sounds her voice.” Pearl Samuels........................................M. c. She shall be heard from.” Lottie Irene Schnell...............................G. s. Nautilus Club, (Book Committee); IV Grade Girls’ Glee Club. He was quick, ingenious and capable.” Cecil Schreiber....................................m. e. Foot Ball Team (4); Track Team (4). He is a quiet youth.” Harry Stock........................................M. c. With grave aspect she rose.” Estelle Marie Starks.............................M. c. I am not in the roll of common men.” James Raymond Stack .............................eng. Literary Society; Class Base Ball Team (3); Track Team (4). She’ll make you laugh.” Jean Murray Stephens............................ g. s. Class Pin Committee (3); Class History, Arbor Day; Toast, Senior Banquet. 33 “Sunny were her locks.” Mary Swenson.......................................g. s. Entered as Senior from Chicago. “One oar it heard, at the other out it went.” Harry Sykes........................................kng. “Literary Society.” “She was exceedingly wise.” Bertha May Taylor..................................M. c. Valedictorian; Chairman, Color Committee (3); Decoration Committee, 3rd Grade Party; Decoration Committee, Senior Party; Ty-choburahn Board ’00; Nautilus Club, Treasurer (4); Arrangement Committee, Senior Banquet; Graduation Committee. “Cheerfulness was her never failing characteristic.” Lillian E. Taylor.................................. .G. s. Motto Committee (3); IV Grade Girls’ Glee Club; Nautilus Club, Treasurer (3); Tychoberahn Board ’01 (Senior Name Committee); Class Prophecy, Senior Banquet. “He can’t be paralleled by art,—much less by nature.” Chester Taylor......................................eng. Foot Ball (4); Base Ball (3). “Silence is golden.” Marie Edith Tyrrell.................................M. c. “Sage he stood, tit to bear the weight of mighty mountains.” Zura Upham....................................g. s. eng. Literary Society, President, Secretary; Tychoberahn Board 00; Vice President of Class (4); Decoration Committee, Senior Party; 34 Toastmaster, Senior Banquet; Semi-Public (4). “I like girls, I really think I do.“ John Vroman.......................................o.s. Chairman, Arrangement Committee, Commencement Ball. “Nothing too great to attempt.” Chauncey Rex Welton...............................M. c. Literary Society, President (3); Semi-Public (4); Tyehoberahn Board ’00. 35 nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn A NEW BOOK by Royalibus Parallelopiped Owen. Exquisite Love Scenes! Thrilling Adventures! Etc., Etc., Etc. Compiled from author’s experiences in the opium joints of Chicago. Published by Anderson Co. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 36 oj: VX ' V.' JUNIOR PARTY ARRA NO EM EN T COM MITTEE. Dudley Keyes, (Chairman) Harry Fowler George 1 Bremer DECORATION COMMITTEE. ZillaBagley, (Chairman) Edna Swenson Florence Van Etta DeWitt Poole Jerome Norsman SENIOR. BANQUET Toa.sts ZURA E. UPHAM, Toastmaster. 1. Our Faculty Edna L. Harrison 2. The High School.. Josephine Bach 3. Literary Societies . Forbes B. Cronk 4. Athletics Arthur Compton 5. The Bovs .Marion Burr-Jones 6. The Girls Frank Hinrichs 7. The Tychoberahn George DkLacy 8. The Naughty Ones Jean Stephens 9 jq' Class Prophecy f Lillian E. Taylor t Fred Coalman t Committees. arrangement ROB R. HIESTAND, (Chairman) BERTHA M. TAYLOR FRED COLLMAN DECORATIONS EMMETT LYONS, (Chairman) CORA M.NORSMAN HATTIE ROESCH MARJORIE JOHNSON JOHN FROELICH 38 T5he TychoberaLhn. Last Spring two or three High School students decided that we ought to have an Annual. They brought the idea before their classes and it “took.” A quota from each class was elected and lo! the “Annual Board” was an established fact. The first question to come up was: What shall we call it?” Then the seething brains of the school boiled even harder than was their wont and many and fearful were the appellations submitted. They ranged in natural history from The Ichthyosaurus” and The Rhinoceros” to The Field Mouse” and The Flea,” and in aptness from The School Desk” to The Homogeneous Hurricane.” As the ancient chronicle puts it, Then did the noise and the tumult rise even to the sky and the din was like to a battle, for each did argue to his neighbor even as his neighbor did argue to him and none was there who listened.” But rescue was at hand, for in the midst of the chaos, one bright young Freshman suggested that we call our little book” The Tychoberahn” from the Indian name for the Four lake region.” Then a great shout arose from the council and they laughed and were glad, for truly their strife was at an end,” to quote again the quaint old chronicle. Thus the name of The Tychoberahn” came about. The name question settled, the board buckled down to work. There was only a short time to work in so the watch word was Do the best we can, but hurry!” Meetings were held; contributions good, bad and indifferent examined and passed upon; roasts basted and cooked; poetry,” or perhaps it were better to say verse, inspired and dashed off, but through it all ran the admonition You’ll have to hurry, hurry, hurry!” But at last it was published and prospered and tho rather poorly printed and worse bound,” was a success. With more experience, more time, and more interest, we hope to make this year’s Tychoberahn a better book in every way than last year’s. 39 We have labored hard and labored long, we have racked our brains for ideas and perhaps found a few, in fact, to sum up, we have done all we could and a little more to make a book that the High School need not be ashamed of. Our jokes may be far-fetched, our verses lacking in metre, our sketches a little out of drawing, but they are Madison High School’s and no one else’s, and this we trust may cover many deficiencies. If we can make the corners of your mouth turn up a little once in a while, and perhaps draw a snicker or two from the storehouse of your mirth, we shall feel that our mission has been fulfilled and that we have not lived in vain. T5he Tychobera.hn Board. 1901. ' berton ’BraleYjC hair man CORA NORSEMAN FRANK HINRICHS MARION JONES LILLIAN TAYLOR 1902. CHRISTIAN KAYSER ROSE DYE CLARENCE KING MARION VAN VELZER 1903. ROY BARTLETT CORNELIA MCCUE 1904. GORDON FOX JOSEPHINE PHOUDFIT 40 Madison High School Literary Society. “Through Difficulties to Triumph”-—such has been the progress of the Madison High School Literary Society-During the eight years of its existence great difficulties have been overcome with greater triumphs until it stands to day the equal, if not the superior, of any High School literary society in the state. It has furnished to the world two Denus, a Bradley, a Hagenah, a Lyman and countless others of the long list whose mission it has been to make the walls of audience rooms resound and fatigue the assembled multitude to the everlasting glory of the Madison High School. Each year the society has provided the graduating class at commencement with a salutatorian who with wondrous art has plyed high-flown phrase and Websterian vocabulary in bemoaning the day on which the class leaves forever the old building, the office and all the old familiar sights so dear to the student heart. Each year with untiring zeal the society has regaled the public, at fifteen cents apiece, with an open meeting, a semi-public or a joint debate as circumstances have dictated or the authorities allowed. Such is the record of Madison High School Literary Society—a record won only by tireless and persistent effort and only to be appreciated by those who have experienced the difficulties of administrating that most difficult of all governments to administrate, a High school literary society. The watchword of such an organization is “Work.” “Work, saith the physics, is the doing of something against resistance.” In this case the resistance has been twofold—from unruly members within and lack of interest without. 42 The first may be dealt with within the society. A decrease in the second should follow the abatement of the first. A High school in which an efficient and respectable literary society is maintaining itself should have school patriotism enough to give it a whole-souled support from the principal to the janitor. This year with the sincere help of Prof. Adams the literary society has exercised a severer discipline than heretofore with the result that the chaff lias been separated from the grain leaving the society better in quality but deficient in membership. This reform movement, however, has had little effect upon the attitude of the school, and the society has been left to its difficult path accompanied only by the earnest aid and sympathy of Prof. Adams, faculty and pupils alike being apparently ignorant that such a beneficial institution existed as the Madison High School Literary Society. An organization which has produced a Denu and a Bradley and is capable of accomplishing as good results today as it has in the past is an institution of which any school should justly be proud. But such an organization, in order to obtain the best results, cannot exist on pride alone. It must have sympathetic help from without, it must have increasing membership, it must know that the school is appreciative of the efforts it is making and wishes it well on the rough road to success. An athletic team is nothing without the cheering crowd, the playing band and the pretty girls. Is then a literary society such a superior institution that, like the burro, it can live “on fresh air and mountain scenery?” No, as we are interested in the foot ball team let us also be interested in the literary society and “cheer them on to victory” to the glory and advancement of the Madison High School. 48 Members of Literary Society. 1901— Albert Guenther, Zura Upham, Forbes Cronk, Ray Stack, Roy Butler, Rex Welton, Fred Collman, Earl Darling, Fred Larkin, Rueben Neckerman, Harry,.Sykes, Edward Hammer, Marshall Pengra. 1902— Paul Moseley, Walter At wood, Alexius Baas, William Holm, William Butler, Christian Kayser, Frank Kessenich, Clarence King, James Curtin. 1903— Benjamin Davis, M. Charles, H. Hood, Chester Collman, Clarence Ellefson, Herold Ketchum, Adolph Merz, Harry Wheeler, Harvey Cheney, Clarence Hansen, H. Stalker, Alfred Bushnell, Carl Heyl, Charles Cheney, William Pelton, Alfred Pierce. 1904— William Bollenbeck, Albert Bagley, William Casser-ly, C. Harrington, Harry Lamphere, Smith, J. Rogers, E. Nebel, Walter Konrad, James Clark. 44 T5he Nautilus Cl ib. In March, 1899, thirteen High School girls formed a club for literary purposes. We have proved that superstitious ideas are foolishness, for no mishap has happened to us in spite of the dreadful number of thirteen, with which we started out. Girls always have a poetic tendency, some people call it romantic, and therefore, the dignified and matter of fact name, “Girls Literary Society of Madison High School” was changed to “Nautilus Club.” In our youth we were rather light-headed and giddy, fluttering from one modern author to another. In 1900, we showed signs of an advancing age. Charles Dickens became our study and we settled down to “A Tale of Two Cities” with a vim. This term we have become deeply interested in the deep sea of poetry. Our best reviewers give a book review each week. We are constantly enlarging the dome which shuts us out from Heaven, although our meetings are still held in the High School. We have not yet become quite old or sedate enough to abjure parties and picnics. Our hearts are still young and we hail summer picnics and winter sleigh rides and parties with a great joy. Our teachers have always aided us in our recreations and work. 45 Members of Nautilus Club. ’01 Lottie Schnell Marion Jones Cora Norsman Margaret Donovan Lillian Taylor May Holt Bertha Taylor Marjorie Johnson ’02 Mabel War nock Ruth Goe . Della Gay Agnes O’Neill Julia Torwey Jennie Lorigan Emma Glenz Edna Hill Mildred Gapen 03 Bessie Fox Helen Gilman Margaret Frankenburger Esther Stromine Emma Shaw Helen Grove Aline Merz Josephine Brabant ’04 Ruth Jennings 46 FIRE BRIGADE ARMS Fire Buck(it) Rampant MOTTO “Ignited we go, extinguished we stay.” STATIONS Main Room and Oftice. Stanley Lyle....... Thomas Joseph Lucas Harry Fowler....... Samuel Winn........ OFFICERS .....Chief .....Ass’t .. Engineer Electrician MEMBERS S. Lyle............................................Hose Tender T. Lucas.........................Hook and Ladder Climber H. Fowler.......................................Hostler Fairy Howler...................................Axe Man Stan. Lyle.....................................Kindling Chopper T. J. Lucas............................Mattress Thrower GENERAL UTILITY MEN “Pick” Lucas “Saint” Lyle “Pretty” Fowler SENIOR. CLASS PARTY. ARRANGEMENT COMMITTEE. John Ford,(Chairman) Hattie Roesch Roy Owen DECORATION COMMITTEE. Zura E. Upham,(Chairman) Bertha M. Taylor, Cora M. Norsman Frank M. Conlin Hazel Isaacs 48 MvsiceJ Organizations. The Girls’ Glee Club has had thirty-five members in regular attendance and the Senior Glee Club has had the following members: Claire Parsons May Holt Katharyn Brahany Cora Norsman Hazel Isaacs Margaret Donovan Lottie Snell Lillian Taylor Josephine Bach Augusta Lorch Adelaide Griffiths Bessie Abaly The Orchestra “line-up” is as follows: Earl Darling . Reuben Neckerman Walter Konrad Harold Hardy John Connor Carl Pfund Arthur Schulkamp Arthur Quail and Frank Darling of last year’s organization have kindly assisted on different occasions. 49 j'sr t 50 ATHLETICS FOR. 1900 AND 1901. Success in athlelics for any year can be measured by two negative quantities—absence of defeat and absence of debt. Measured by these two standards the High School has been relatively successful for the past year. Only two defeats as against six victories are charged against the foot ball team, while in indoor track events the relay team has defeated Wisconsin Academy and Milwaukee South-Side. The financial outcome has been even more encouraging. For the first time in several years, receipts have exceeded disbursements enough for a surplus to remain with which to support succeeding teams. Judged from the standpoint of pure athletics, however, greater improvement has been made in management than in any other line. It is to this, in fact, that the improvements an' due.—The system adopted and enforced a year ago of compelling candidates for teams to live up to the requirements of the interscholastic rules has had a most beneficial effect. As all conetstants must be bona fide students, more men get out for practice, knowing that they will not be set aside for some semi-professional. But in a financial way has the change been more apparent. Faculty supervision has superseded the former absolutism of the student manager. By making faculty approval necessary to all contracts and to all money disbursements losing enterprises and extravagancies have been avoided. Complete debit and credit accounts must be shown for a season’s work. While this system has at times been somewhat odious to the student body, its beneficial effect is shown by the fact that after twTo years’ trial, the two-hundred dollar debt of ’98 has become a hundred dollar surplus. 52 Utterly belying the predictions of our former Annual, the foot ball team for the past season was exceedingly successful. With but three old men back a team was gotten together that was second only to the famous team of ’97 and ’98. While as usual a large number of the players will leave the school in June, there is every reason to expect an even better team the coming year. Base ball, on the other hand, met a fate which was hardly dreamed of by its admirers. For a number of years this most American sport has failed to tire the imagination of the public and in Madison, as well as elsewhere, has constantly resulted in debt. To have maintained a base ball team in the High School would have required the expenditure of one hundred dollars above current expenses. There appeared to be no satisfactory way of meeting this requirement so it was finally decided to abandon the game for the present year. While the loss of base ball was depressing in some respects, it gave an added impetus to track work by turning to the cinder path men who would otherwise have devoted themselves to the diamond. By present indications there will be candidates for all track events except the hurdles, with possible point winners in each. The outlook for a winning team is exceedingly promising. A review of track work can not justly ignore the encouragement accorded the men by Coach Kilpatrick of the University track team. By arranging relay races for the High School team and by providing them access to the University Gymnasium during a part of the winter, he helped materially to rouse enthusiasm for the spring work. While the present year has been successful beyond general expectation, the coming year promises to be even more so. For the last two years, nearly all the leading athletes have 53 belonged to the fourth grade. On the contrary the next season will see the largest representation from the second and third grades, especially the former. This means good teams for two years to come. The greatest drawback in the school to athletics is the lack of suitable facilities for training. Good grounds are hard to get, and locker rooms are impossible till that long looked-for new building is constructed. Being forbidden the use of the school grounds, recourse has been had to various out-of-the-way and inappropriate corners. The lot by the Illinois Central tracks has been the most serviceable but is so frequently covered with water as to be very unsatisfac-ory. Where to obtain better grounds, however, is a difficult question to solve. Let some good philanthropist come forward wTith a material solution. Then wTe will no longer wander from one field to another to work recruits into shape, nor will the Regents of the University again have an opportunity to insinuate that the running expenses of Camp Randal' should be furnished by Madison High School. 54 Foot Captain Parnell Regan Manager LINE-UP. Alva Ketchum First Eleven Position Second Eleven Ross Cullen Sander L. T Breitenstein Abbott, Taylor.. L. G McKenna, Davis. C .. . .Hammer, Brown Braley R. G Cook Schreiber R. T H. Abbott Keyes, .Crampton R. E Coll man Regan L. H. B Coles Daniells R. H. B .... Fuller F. B Subs.—Moseley, Taylor, Berg. games, (State H. S.). Sept. 29 Madison, 21 Evansville, 0 Oct. 6 ” 22 Stoughton, 6 ” 17 ” 50 Portage, 0 ” 20 ” • 0 Whitewater, 0 Nov. 10 ” 21 St. John’s, 0 ” 17 ” 10 Baraboo, 0 ” 29 ” 0 S. S. Milwaukee, 11 Points won, 103 lost, 17 Oct. 3 Madison, 0 Minneapolis C. H., 50 55 Track Team. 100 yd. Dash Bicycle Discus Throw J. Ellestad C. Abbott E. Fuller P. Regan P. Moseley H. Sanders A. Bagley Relay P. Regan 220 yd. Dash A. Bagley C. Schreiber J. Ellestad H. Sander Shot Put P. Regan P. Regan P. Regan A. Bagley J. Daniells C. Schreiber 440 yd. Dash Hi£h Jump E. Cullen J. Daniells P. Regan Hammer Throw A. Bagley C. Schreiber E. Fuller 880 yd. Dash J. Ellestad B. Davis J. Daniells Broad Jump H. Olson P. Regan The A. Stack C. Schreiber board R. Bartlett J. Ellestad can not F. Kessenich Vault vouch for H. Abbott C. Schreiber the correct- E. Cullen E. Noe ness of this list 1 Mile Run J. Clark for there is more H. Sanders S. Winn or less guesswork L. Cook in making such a list J. Curtin out before the event. Morgan However it is as nearly E. Jenson correct as possible. 56 Another Revenge on South Side. May 10th, 1901, is another red-letter day in the history of Madison High School Athletics, for on that date the relay team once more made South Side look like a slow race at an Irish holiday. The race was held in connection with the ’Varsity field meet, and M. H. S. was represented by Bagley, Sanders, Regan and Daniells. Bagley started out like a man with his mother-in-law’s ghost after him, and was at the finish twenty yards in front of South Side’s man. Here Sanders decided that the lead was too small and so increased it a few more yards and since “Parr” Regan’s and “Daddy” Daniells’ opinions were in harmony with Sanders’, the finish of the relay found Daniells at the tape seventy-five yards ahead of Milwaukee’s representative. The time was 3.39, two seconds under the Interscholastic record, and the average time for each quarter was 54f seconds. This latest victory combined with the one at the indoor meet, Feb. 23, will partially revenge our defeat in Foot Ball last Thanksgiving, an atonement which we look to the 1901 Foot Ball team to complete. M.H. S. BASE BALL TEAM. SEASON 1901. List of games played and scores. Univ. Cal., 0 M. H. S., 25 ” Yale, 03 ” 48 ” Oxford, 0 ” 200 ” Cambridge, 0 ” 150 ” Cornell, 1 ” 23 ” Harvard, 10 ” 10 ” Princeton, 0 ” 34 ” Siam, 0 ” 800 ” Cairo, 15 ” 59 3rd ward team, 48 ” 0 Total — Opponents, 77 ” 1949 FINANCES. Receipts, $40,000 Disbursements, $30,000 Surplus, $10,000 58 Madison High School R.ecords 100 yd. dash—10 2-5 sec.........................Parnell Regan 220 yd. dash—24 sec.............................Parnell Regan 120 yd. hurdles—18 sec...........................Stuart Lyle 220 yd. hurdles—28 4-5 sec.............George Anderson 440 yd. run—52 3-5 sec....................John Danielle 880 yd. run—2 min. .04 4-5 sec............John Daniells Mile run—4min. 56 sec............................Herman Sanders Shot put—38 ft. 10 in......................Stuart Lyle Ham m er throw—110 ft....................Eugene Fuller Running broad jump—20 ft. 1 in...........Parnell Regan Running high jump—5 ft. 4 in.. P. Regan and Cecil Schreiber Pole Vault—9 ft. 1 in....................Arthur Lewis 1-3 mile bicycle—48 sec.........................Chauncy Abbott Mile bicycle—2 min. 52 sec...............Chauncy Abbott These records were accurate at the time of printing, May 10. LOVERS’ CLUB. EMBLEM Bleeding Heart MOTTO “The voice of the turtle dove is heard in the land.” OFFICERS “Cupid” Moseley...High Chief Grand Supreme Spooner “Willie Hop”..................Chief Heart Breaker “Scoop” Ross..............................King of Hearts “Choily” Coles...........................Deuce of Hearts “Witticus” Van Norman................Head Rusher 60 CHRISTIAN ENDEAVOR Dudley Keyes......................................President Roland Jarvis..............................Vice President Robt. Chamberlain.................................Secretary Willard Denu...................Agent for Foreign Missions Alva Ketchum................Sunday School Superintendent Fred Collman......................Secretary of Relief Corps Meetings held at Recess on Library Corner, every school day. All are cordially invited to attend. 61 GRADUATION PARTY. ARRANGEMENT COMMITTEE. John Vroman, (Chairman) Josephine Bach Margaret Donovan DECORATION COMMITTEE. Stanley Barber, (Chairman) Shrida Griffiths Grace Cantwell Leveret Rice Edward Hammer. 62 “Slippery Fred” Thwaites, Pres. “Whiskey Bill” Ely, Vice Pres. “Rounder” Knowlton, Can Rusher “Jim Jam” Johnson, Poker Chip Buyer “Elusive ’Enry” Rim snider, General Watch Lifter. 63 BVRIAL PLACE —of— M. H. S. NEWS, BORN NOVEMBER, 1899, DIED MARCH, 1901 (AT NORWAY GROVE, WIS.| 04 All persons, who have not been roasted, are requested not to take offense, as they have not been overlooked but have been looked over and have been found in most cases too green to roast. 66 Alexander a nd Bucephalus. ooooooo Then up rose Alexander, And to his friends he spoke, “It’s time that I should go and see If that there boss is broke. ooooo He’s eating all my oats and hay, He’s killing all my men, And now I’m going to teach him Not to do those things again.” ooooo Now he has mounted on the horse He cries, “Just see me flv!” % And so he did. But whoa! Hello! He’s mounting towards the sky! ooooo When Alexander struck the ground Most terribly he swore, And vowed that on that demon horse He’d not ride any more. ooooo In after years he loved to tell (In Persia, ’cross the sea) How he broke his horse Bucephalus For all the world to see, But did he really do it? O my! Do not ask me’ 67 A Startling Fact. V In compiling this Annual, one of the aims of the board was to “cut out” anything suggestive of seriousness; but we do not like to lose a chance for putting in an argument for a new High School building. We quote from a speech by Dr. Brown, of this city, before the Contemporary Club, March 6th, 1901. The facts vhich we quote are startling, and Or. Brown’s name and reputation are enough to vouch for rhe truth of the statement. (From Madison Democrat, March 6, 1901. ) “Another essential to health is pure air, ”he said,and s« me startling figures were presented by Dr. Brown regarding Madison schools. He said: “In the assembly room of die Madison High School there are 65,424 cubic feet of air. During the opening exercises 528 pupils are gathered for ten or fifteen minutes. The amount of space for each pupil is about 120 cubic feet. During the rest of the day, the average number present is 159 pupils, who will have about 410 cubic feet apiece. One of two things must happen, an exceedingly l ipid and breezy ventilation or a vitiated atmosphere. Accord ng to English law, no cell for any convict in any prison may contain less than 810 cubic feet! A Harrowing TaJe. Rolf had locks both coarse and long. And, so saitli the fable, He met a curry comb On going to the stable. With frenzied hands he siezed it And now he swells with pride; For his flowing locks now rival Black Dobbins hairy side. 68 EXAMINATION to be passed by all freshmen on entering M. H. S. I. Who is Willie Hop? Why? II. Illustrate verb “to flunk, ” (on these questions). III. a. How far will a note travel if thrown by a sophomore in the “Gooseberry Patch?” b. Illustrate correct manner in which to throw a note. c. Give result if detected. IV. Where is the Office? Describe. (Description can be obtained from any pupil, who has been in the high school over two days.) V. Give favorite shade of green. If not, why not? VI. Translate:- “Where’s that excuse?” “No snow-balling on the school grounds.” “Report at the office.” VII. Problem;- Given, a school building built to accommo- date 300 pupils. To find room for 600. (For answer see “Board of Education,” Volume XIII, page 4-11-44.) VIII. State reason why high school pupils and other coldblooded animals do not need pure air in confinment. IX. a. Give best manner in which to write your own excuses, b. Map out shortest path between M. H. S. and the “Pal.” X. State reforms you intend to make when you become President of the United States. 69 A Polyglot Tragedy. I. Puer amat virginem 2ttdbd)cn liebt ben ftnaben Fatus mittit hominem Set her heart to throbbin’. II. Puer quaerit “Ainas me? SBiflft bu bod) mein’ gran jein? Malden answers, “Nit! I say, dimmer ift mein Her,} betn.” III. 9?un id) licbe bid) nid)t mebr, Iain dar alii ego; Hub fo pet)ft bu nidjt, mein Sperr, So just trot, I say, go!” IV. Puer fundit ttetum iam, (Sr mar triib unb triiber. So he bought a loaded bomb, Unb fein Veb’ mar iiber. 70 Ode on the South Side Game Thanksgiving Day, November 29, 1900. (With apologies to Kipling) V V Game that our warriors lost of old, Pall of our far-famed fighting line, Long may our bitter memories hold The loss of battles such as thine. And grim Revenge our Purpose set, Lest we forget! Lest we forget! Long since has passed that fatal day That dragged our colors in the mire, But, Comrades, let not die away Our deep-set anger’s blazing fire! Spirit of High School, help us yet, Lest we forget! Lest we forget! By pride of former victories won, By sorrow for each dire defeat. By foes we’ve met and work we’vedone, By foes and work we still must meet, In heat or cold or dry or wet, We won’t forget! We won’t forget! THE SONG OF PROF. The Freshmen enter row on row, Chuckfull of great endeavor; But Freshmen come and Freshmen go, While I go on forever. The Sophomores spout and chew and blow— A Jaw that ceases never; But Sophomores come and Sophomores go, While I go on forever. The Juniors little Physics know, But Hunk on Weight and Lever; Yet Juniors come and Juniors go, While I go on forever Away the streams of Seniors flow, Their High School ties they sever; Tho Seniors come and Seniors go, Still I go on forever. A Geometry teacher named Link— Would often remark with a wink, “When I went to school, I kept every rule An angel I was—I don’t think.” The Powers that Rule. (A farce in one act.) Scene I. A Gloomy Cavern. Skeletons discovered on the floor. Freshmen frying on a spit. Thunder and Lightning. (Enter Prof.) I Song. I’m an ogre fierce and grim! In a castle dank and dim, I scare the infant Freshmen ’til they screech. I delight in blood and gore And I have a dreadful roar, As a sanguinary ogre I’m a peach!” Chorus of Freshmen. “He delights in blood and gore And he has a dreadful roar, As a sanguinary ogre lie’s a peach!” II “When the Freshmen get too few I can feast on Sophomores too And even Seniors aren’t beyond my reach. I’m the man you cannot fool, I’m the ruler of the school, As a sanguinary ogre I’m a peach!” Chorus of all Classes. “He’s the man you cannot fool, He’s the ruler of the school, As a sanguinary ogre he’s a peach!” (Enter Miss Tullis.) I Song. “With a host of Latin verbs I have in store T am busy with the Freshmen soon and late I give them the declensions by the score And I teach the Freshmen how to conjugate.” Chorus. “Oh, their minds I agitate, And I make them cogitate, 73 On verbs irregular and numbered by the scor e For you cannot graduate Til you learn to conjugate, And lack of graduation is a bore.” II “When it comes to mighty Caesar I am there And I lure the guileless Sophomores to their fate And while they gnash their teeth and tear their hair Still I teach the Freshmen how to conjugate.” Cho Soft music. (Enter tremblingly, Link.) I Song. “I’m a modest little teacher with a shrinking way My specialty’s Geometry and Girls. I’m not a bit conceited, but really I must say Thatl’vegot the whole school stricken on my curls. Chorus My talents are not few, And I’m young and handsome too, But I really am too modest tho I can’t tell why. My friends all say That I’m built that way. But you know I wish I were not quite so shy. II If I only weren’t so shrinking and my manners were more bold I might flirt with girls a little on the sly; But as it is at present I am left out in the cold, And all because I am so shy.’ Chor. Strains'of “Ach du lieber Augustine” heard in the distance. Enter, hand in hand, Miss Stock and Miss Kleinpell. Song. Miss Stock:—“Ich bin.” Miss Kleinpell:—“Nein, nein, Ich bin.” Both:—“Ach! Aber! Ve are two happy twins vat come from far avay, % 74 To teach dese Schulers how to shpeak and vat dey outh to say—” Miss Kleinpell:—“Ich!—” Miss Stock:—“Nein, das ist nicht reclit, Sagen Sie—‘Ve’—” Both:—“Gut —Ve know die deutschen Sprache from die head down bei die tail Already yet so gut now once we’re nefer known to vail, As you’ll easily determine Ven it comes to shpeaking German, Ve are die twins vats nefer known to vail. Chorus. Miss Stock:—Ven ve walk along mit our happy smile, Miss Kleinpell:—Ve really are the proper style Miss Stock:—Ve can hear dem say, Miss Kleinpell:—In an awe-struck vay, Both:—‘Oh, dere are die twins from Germany!’ Miss Stock:—“Ich will”— Miss Kleinpell:—“Nein,du willst nicht,Ich will”— Both:—Yet already ? What once? Lassen uns singen—So Our song ve finish now Und so ve make a j ow Ve are de twins vats nefer known to vail.” Full Brass Band enters, heading a triumphal procession, and playing “See, the conquering hero comes.” Enter Stangel, carrying a 500-pound weight in either hand, and surrounded by youths carrying laurel. Song. I’m a man of mighty muscle and considerable mass My real specific gravity is ten When it comes to equilibrium, I’m in the highest class Yet my acceleration’s fearful now and then. I can put the shot and discus in a way to ope your eyes, ( o In Physics I’m a Lulu and a star, In Physical Geography I’m known as very wise And my penmanship is noted from afar.” Chorus. “He’s a man of mighty muscle and his strength is something grand He can balance 18 horses on his nose, He can hold a hippopotamus and camel in each hand And lift a ton of peanuts on his toes. He can lift a locomotive with his jaw And swing an ancient mammoth by the tail, He’s the strongest man you ever ever saw He’s a Hercules, a Sampson and a Whale.” All characters advance to the foot lights. Grand Chorus. “For a purpose we are here And that purpose is most clear, To make our pupils deep for wisdom root. And some day our names they’ll bless For we are a grand success In teaching young ideas how to shoot. ” 7f A Meeting of ?e AnnuaJ Board. They come in stragglingly, in twos and threes and ones and seat themselves about the table. Then after playing “Simon says thumbs up” for ten minutes, someone tells a funny story. That reminds the Punster of a Pun which he immediately gets off. When the Board has recovered from this, the girls are overheard saying “yes, it’s a basque waist with camels hair rutfles on the gore and a plaited fichu cut bias on the half shell,” or something to that effect, (its all the same to a boy). Finally we get into order and the chairman reads the contributions of immortal? verse and prose and there is much laughter and tears. Then the freshman member suggests that we roast another freshman for eating peanuts at a circus and someone has an idea, and—we discover that the boys are discussing athletics and so it’s necessary to reorganize. Then the chairman plaintively whispers, “Has anyone any ideas?” and a dead silence falls which lasts just 38 seconds by the clock after which time the senior members begin a discussion on the class meeting and another period of chaos follows. After we have again settled down, that pleading voice is heard saying, “Has anyone any ideas?” Then someone finds in a hidden crevice of his brain an Idea, and forthwith gives a howl and commits it to paper. (Not the Howl, dear reader, the Idea). “Now has anyone else an idea?” comes the same plaintive voice, and the silence becomes oppressive and then someone moves to adjourn and we depart homeward while a plaintive voice rings in our ears, “Has anyone any Ideas?” 77 Do yo i believe in signs? A young man recently had his fortune told and these are some of the things the “Fortune Telling Man” told him. “Whenever you see a white horse, that is a sign it isn’t black.” “If your rent bill is due and you have no money to pay it, that is a sign you are going to move. ” “A beer sign is refreshing to some people.” “If you should happen to find a pocketbook with one cen in it, that’s a sign of bad luck. Don’t believe this sign, there is very little in it.” “To see a policeman is a sure sign that you are likely to find copper.” “If you hear a moaning sound, that is often a sighin’ of the wind.” “When you dream of eggs it is liable to be bad.” “If you dream that somebody gave you a million dollars, that’s a sign you have been sleeping.” “Whenever you wake up in the morning with a big head, it is a sure sign that your hat will be to small for you. In a case like this, it is best to look at a girl with fiery red hair, because looking at a head-light often will give you a light head again.” “If a fly gets onto tanglefoot paper, that is a sign that it will hold him fora while.” 78 “Cleaning Up ” In after years when I look back And thoughts of school resume, I’ll smile again at those old days When “John” cleaned up the room. I’ll see once more “John’s” honest face, His dust pan and his broom, And breathe again the cloud of dust, When “John” cleans up the room. Once more the teachers cough and choke, When, peering through the gloom, A stranger asks, “Why where’s the fire?” When “John” cleans up the room. John’s form is bent with service hard, His cheek has lost its bloom, But while he lives, with purpose fixed, He’ll still clean up the room. And so until the last dread hour, When I go up the flume, I’ll ne’er forget those dear old days When “John” cleaned up the room. 79 Barefoot Boy. (With apologies to Whittier.) “Blsssings on thee, little man Barefoot boy with cheek of tan; With your eye so full of joy And innocence without alloy. Oh to be a barefoot lad, Careless, happy, never sad; Knowing naught of sin and guile, With a boy’s e’er present smile! Well my lad, what would you say In your childish bashful way? Speak up my boy, with eyes so bright. ' Theanswer came, “Say, gimmea light! ' 60 Wh vt I Am going to be;- African missionary...........................A. Ketclium An angel, with wings and a golden jewsharp......H. Ross A second Patti...............................M. Donovan “The Whole Cheese”............................B. Braley A red-hot tin horn sport.....................P. Hinrichs A ballet dancer...............................L. Taylor Happy.........................................J. Proelich “It”.........................................C. Norseman “Spellbinder”.................................G. DeLacy A second Mrs. Nation .........................M. Adams A nun.........................................C. Purtelle A fashion plate...............................I. Hawkins A sausage ...........................................Fido A funny young fellow7 named “Hop” Was running one night from a cop, When he yelled, “Wait aw'hile,” Willie said with a smile, “I’m Busy just now and can’t stop.” 81 A Cfc.se of Note. He wrote a letter to his love, (He should have studied Caesar) A little josh he pul within, Some jolly, just to tease her. Then duly he inscribed her name Upon the folded paper, Proceeded to deliver it, Oh what a foolish caper! For softly as the autumn leaves The ground beneath them cover, The Prof, he glided up to him, And o’er that note did hover. Then said he among other things: • Your presence here’s not needed. ’ So slowly rose the wilted youth And officeward proceeded. 6 e Lfcmb’s Tale. He stood within the office door. (Ah! Wells, you looked so sweei ) As Snow stands on theattic stair . That boy stood on his feet. V a His teeth all rattled in his jaw, His knees together beat; His fair hair rose with one accord, A shock of yellow wheat. His list upon his quavering chin He spake as in his sleep, “The Lord,” lie said, “is merciful Unto his yearling sheep.” 82 ■Sy§? UpicdL ° % V •XwAjOV iu t M AAM 0 Wy jfjyihd _________iccc MU, awx 0 A 4 jk ?4 25 {yjxiyvv j yfrV £(XmI (S) ol'iisJL , fa? .v aA L. g AXAtX Av - i Vwvti A |r. JLu Ti u HTTni ? ?)'???7 1 . -3Z' '. .- T. jSfcr fe_ LL Z!JL - •r- 1 J-nx . Ja'I jaX cL -M ' c Jruld J_xmA. (KeUoJU WAX c( . Tffgti- AAra L m - _ . --- kSdS ...s£ iyw ou e{-2 adAc fcfr __________ lc Wl cL£ J Jm' -A + $_____cL V ■■ N, i 83 WANT ADDS. $2 a word. 5c. a line. Copy must be in one week after in sertion of “ad.” Number of words not to be more than 3 or less than 5000. Write on both sides and both ends of tin paper only. WANTED—By the News, a type setter.Must be cross-eyed and have delirium tremens, vSaint Vitus Dance, Epilepsy and Palsy. No one acquainted with the English language or it.- orthography need apply. Good salary to the right party. Add., R. Anderson. WANTED—A good capable man to look over my correspond ence. Must be handsome and write a good hand. Add., L. Li lies and. WANTED— A self-closing door for the boy’s cellar. Add., John. WANTED—A new dagger. Old one dulled by constan: stabbing. Ada., D. Keyes. WANTED—A young man with a life long experience as ;; rag masticator -wants a position a% a pulp machine in a paper factory. References: the Senior Class, M. H. S. Add., G. DeLacy. WANTED—The earth, fence not required, but would be ac ceptable. Add., A. B. Braley. WANTED—By a very small boy—A large dolls cradle to sleep in. Must be not longer than 3£ ft Add.Benjie Davis. WANTED—By a young lady—A position as governess ami second girl. Add., Miss Dewitta Poole. W ANTED—Any kind of hard work. Salary no object. Add., C. Abbott. 84 WANTED—To act as agent for patent machine. Class machine preferred. 4 years experience. Add., W. R. Denu WANTED—A position as fireman. Several years experience in a large institution. Add., J. H. H. • WANTED—By a young man of Sunday school principles, a position as pastor’s ass’t. in a small country church, far from the wicked city. Add., A. Compton. WANTED—A well bred and highly educated gentleman of twenty two would like to correspond with an equally well educated young lady of good character. Strawberry blonde with Patience and kindness preferred. Purpose:- Matrimony. Add., H. Adams. WANTED—A phonograph, so I can hear my self talk. Add., Mollie Olson. Columbus to His Bust. When I consider how my life is spent O’er this dark case of learning; I look down To view with envy some mischievous clown With crooked pin on deep-laid mischief bent. Awhile, the forbidden tinkling copper drops The innocent cause of many a shuffling roar, And many a gleaming billet doux doth soar, Descending by the destined fair, it stops. Oh! what is Fame and lauded Praise to this! Oh! could I but from out my marble lips, One whisper speak; I’d rate myself a fool; And barter Fame for one sweet moment’s , bliss Or pain. He misses much who never sips The radiant joys and sorrows of a school. 85 LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF J. H. H. I, J. H. H., being of sound mind and temperament, d hereby inscribe this as my last Will and Testament:—To tin State Historical Society of Wisconsin I leave my rare ano valuable collection of excuses; to the U. of W. my brain (a.-including the pons Varoli, the cerebellum and the medulhi oblongata); to the Entre Nous I leave the stove in my oftic as they may need it; to the Board of Education I leave my everlasting thanks; a lock of my hair to John, and one to be put in the cornerstone of the new H. S. building; to the Annual Board I bequeath my hopes that they will receive their just dues in this world or the next. And now having settled up my business, I die content. J. H. H. In witness whereof we have hereunto set our names and seals. Willard Denu, D. D. her Mary X McGovern, mark (After the High School building had collapsed in the year 2000, this fragment was found among the excavations made by Miss Carrie Nation, a descendant of the late Mrs. Nation, of Kansas.) 86 To a. Freshman. THF MILLENNIUM. Ne When you see a bran new High School, With a gym. and other tilings, And the Shakespeare theme abolished With the evil thoughts it brings; When Cronk grows a little bigger, And Anderson combs his hair, When the teachers all wear aprons, And Pick Lucas pays full fare, When Miss Lynch is not called Peggy, When Miss Oakley won’t play golf, When Anna B. forgets to smile, And Van Norman dont show off; When you, my friend, get wiser, And the haunts of youth you shun Rejoice, Oh emerald freshman! The Millennium has come! % A Jingle for Little Ones. In High School one day there was found A fellow whose smile would astound. So wide was the smile Of this fellow named Heyl, That his head it would often surround. 87 Ulbat 1$ It? Seven! eleven! forty-four! Ball is snapped in a second more, Heels are dug deep in the dirt, Halfback jumps and makes a spurt Gains four yards,—is tackled,—downed! Opposing tackle chews the ground, All fall on him with a smile, Bad words simmer from the pile; “Down!” the smothered halfback yells, Blood from out his nostril wells, As the tackle’s black eye swells. Slowly rise they from their bed, Each one dizzy in his head, Friends all pat them on the back, Then they go another whack; Breaking heads and cracking shins, Tearing both their clothes and skins, Leaving teeth strewn here and there, Someone finds lie’s minus hair; The one whose decorative gore Proves him most bruised and maimed and sore, He is an hero evermore. “The decked limbs of Mercury Were fair to look upon,” quoth he, “‘How decked?’” the teacher said, said she The boy replied, “Tattooed maybe.” 88 “Why Smith Left Holm” CAST OF CHARACTERS Leut. Goodman, fond of quiet...................S. Lyle Pete Thunder blood, heavy villian............M. Pengra Willie Wavering, a timid young man...........B. Braley Johnnie, her little brother..................B. Davis James Jehu, coachman......................Prof. Stangel Bill Smyles, light comedian.............R. Chamberlain Corporal Sokemhard Soldiers from...........S. Winn Private Neverhitt the firing line..........A. Meehan The Fairy Godmother.....................Prof. Hutchison Miss Tearemup, the villian’s aunt............Anna Burr Pansy 1 (Hazel Manning Cowslip Fairies....................-I E. Chynoweth Buttercup ( O. Lawson ( E. Reynolds Cherry sisters..........................-! M. Reynolds ( C. Reynolds Miss Goo Goo, Heroine...................Parnelia Regan Miss Browners, A reigning beauty.....Frances Hinrichs Bill Searchem, A customs officer.............W. Denu Dottie Lightfoot, A pert Soubrette.......Miss Robinscn Memphisto ) Lords Pluto ■ of lower.............................“John” Lucifer ) Regions Villagers, Soldiers ) Courtiers, Lunatics ....................John Vroman Freshmen, Indians ) Ladies in Waiting, country damsels, carpet beaters sauer kraut choppers, etc. During intermissions specialties will be given as follows:- Song ,„d Dance by....................{ KS.’SKES Refined tumbling act by............The Fairy Godmother Miss Cornelia McCue 89 ALPHABET Come, all you Freshmen, wild and woolly, Come all whose brains are not stocked fully, In any weather, dry or wet, And learn to say the alphabet. A is for Anderson, who combeth the hair. B is for Baas, whose singing is rare. C is for Cronk, of oratorical fame. D is for Donkey, that’s “Blinker’s” name. E is for Ely, who makes it in three. F is for Farmer, Bill Holm, it is he. G is for Girls, don’t you think they are fine? H is for Hammer, who bucketh the line. I is for Idiot, a rare curiosity. J is for Jackson, a mental monstronsity. K is for Kayser von Christian der Gross. L is for Lyons, who roars when he's cross. M is for Merrill of Christmas-pie fame. N is for Nonsense, which all of us claim. 0 is for Oakley, by Ge-ometry. P is for Powers, a soft-more is he. Q is for Quis, “come, pony, to me.” R is for Ross, Regan, Racket, all three. S is for Stock, do you “sprechen Sie,” German. T is for Teacher, who’ll help you determine. V is for you, you have seen him before. V is for Van Deusen, another Soft-more. W is for “Whoppers,” to which class belong, Pick Lucas and Fuller and Benjie the strong. X is unknown and is only for “sharks.” V is the word which begins our remarks. Z, I’ll inform you, my attentive young friend, is the letter which happens to come at THE ENl). 90 THE SENIORS’ SOLILOQUY. To break, or not to break, with Prof.—that is the question: Whether ’twere nobler for us to quietly take a calling down, Or to get shirt-waists, and by wearing them, defy him? To stick, to fight, and by a fight to say We end the wearing of white pants and black coats on commencement day, Tis a change of custom devoutly to be wished. To stick, to fight, perchance to fail!—ay, there’s the rub; For in that awful den, what he may do to us, When we have shuffled up to him, Must give us pause: there’s the point That makes us all think twice; For who would think at all, who would heed John, Or mind what teachers say,—but that the fear Of something afterwards,—that dreaded office, From whose door no one returns unscathed, Frightens us all and makes us rather wear the clothes we have. Than get shirt-waists and suffer consequences? Thus Prof, can make big cowards of us all, And thus the idea of shirt-waists by him alone is killed. And we array ourselves in former costumes. But list you now, the noble Barber,— Long by the Prof, will his deep sin be remembered. 91 RECENT PUBLICATIONS. A Country Minister:—A novel of life in a country village. The trials and troubles of a country parson. Humor and pathos charmingly mingled. A story taken from the author’s own life. By Harry Ross. Cloth, $.75 Leather, $1.50 Revised English Grammar, by C. A. Bueitenstein. No discussion of the merits of this long expected work is necessary as its author is well known as an absolute authority on this subject. Price $1.50 Autobiography of a Dumh Belle, by Marjorie Johnson. An interesting, tho sad history of an unfortunate. One of the best works of the year. 2 vols. Cloth binding, $3. A Quiet Life, by Christian Kayser. This charming novel, evidently written by one who feels what he writes, appeals to all who do not care for a strenuous existence. It is a sweet and helpful book, breathing an atmosphere of pastoral calm. It must be read to be appreciated. Only $1.75. How to be Popular, by Ed. J. Hammer. This is a most interesting treatise by one thoroughly versed in his subject. We recommend it to the true student. Price $2.50. Historic Jokes, by P. Van Norman. This work on an interesting subject is treated in a masterly way. Friends of the author claim his is the finest collection of ancient humorous bits in existence. A rare bargain to the antiquarian. Price $2.00. 92 Pupil (in Latin class,) translating—“Defend your homes and fire-places.” Anna Burr(contemptuously)—“You might just as well say, ‘Defend your homes and gas stoves’.” And the class laughed. The sentence was, “He is a very paramour for a sweet voice.” Sadie Mills (reading in Shakespeare)—“He is a very panorama.” Miss Bagley(explaining “ex media morte” in Latin)—“Isn’t that an idiotic expression?” Miss McGovern (assigning parts in Shakespeare)—“Helena—Miss Sumner—Puck—Lucas.” In Shakespeare (Titania)—“I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again, mine eye is much enamoured of thy note.” Miss Van D. (in History)—“Athene fell, full grown from the temple of Zeus.” Cronk (in Shakespeare,) reading—“To show an unfelt sorrow, is for a dead man, easy. Miss Murray (in Caesar)--“The country was divided into canteens.” 93 IT). H. $. Dime IDuseum. You’ll have to hurry, hurry, hurry if you want to see the M. H. S. Dime Museum, a monstrous consolidation, containing freaks, fakes, scientific curiosities, wild and dangerous animals and a thousand other wonders of interest to the general public, conducted under the auspices of the world famed expert, Prof. Juan Hernando Hutchison. All for a dime, ten cents, the tenth-part-of-a-dollah. Step up close, ladies and gentlemen, and mothers, keep the babies quiet. First upon this unsurpassed program which we present to you this afternoon, is Murphy the Wonder. Have you seen her? Have you heard her sing? She'll make you laugh! She's an historic wonder hailing from the emerald shores of auld Ireland. Do not miss this golden opportunity, ladies and gentlemen, be sure to see her. She alone is worth a dime. Next I introduce to you, Stangel the Strong man, at present the strongest living human being dwelling upon any of the lesser planets. In either hand he holds at arms length a superb white horse. Either of these animals, ladies and gentleman, has a center of gravity whose specific density weighs not less than 3,(XX) cubic centimeters. Walk in everybody and see Stangel the Strongman, the strongest man of the age! We now come, ladies and gentlemen, to the great scientific curiosity, the missing Link. For a long time he was an unknown quantity, when one day Prof. Knowlton discovered him while gazing intently at the moon through a brass-lined ruler. He was then placed under the power of the ’steenth geometric proposition which proved beyond a doubt that he was the missing Link between the lower stage of the deep) sea Rhombus and the caterpillar form of the species Parralelopi-p edon .For this the latest and greatest contribution to science Prof. Knowlton has been created a knight of the Order of the Golden Flees. Ladies and gentlemen. I now call your attention to the McGovern - Oakley tight which will transpire before the audience upxm a large and moderately clean table-cloth. I 91 call your attention particularly to the last act of the fight, in which the white man, McGovern, knocks out tha Ethiopian, Oakley, thus illustrating the law of dramatic contact. I am sure you will sympathize with the victor when he is rewarded the prize purse containing 3,000 ducats. And now, ladies and gentlemen, if the band will strike up “Holm, sweet Holm” you may walk right up and hand your money to the gentleman at the door, who you may be sure will send it to the poor, starving boxers of South Africa. Only a dime, ten cents, the tenth-part-of-a-dollah, to see the M. H. S. Dime Museum — a monstrous consolidation containing freaks, fakes, scientific curiosities, wild and dangerous animals and a thousand other wonders of interest to the general public. Walk up, ladies and gentlemen, only a dime, ten cents. in EXTRACT IROm HAmmER’S SHAKESPEARE nOCE-BOOK TOR THE TALL TERD) - 1001 “The Tragedy of Hammer” or “Hamlet with Hamlet left out. ” Gramatic Persony. Hammer, Prince of Centerville Edwarda Hammer, Hammer’s Edward Hammer, murderer sweetheart The Ghost of Hammer’s father Johanna Hammer, anothergirl John Hammer, friend of Ham- Father Hammer, a priest mer Eddie Hammer I Grave r- Johnny Hammer, servant of Jac.ky Hammer � diggers Hammer Dramatic Material Jonathan Hammer, Lord Wa- Foot ball suits, head guards, ter Carrier shin guards, nose guards, foot B. Hammer ) balls, red blankets, 5quarts of J. Hammer Foot ball play- blood, a big crowd and lots of Jack Hammer ) ers j noise. Seeds of the Plot ACT I Scene 1 Minneapolis Athletic Field. During a conversation held between Hammer and his friend, John Hammer, upon the side lines during the Minneapolis game, we learn that the young prince is trying for center on the M. H. S. foot ball team. Will he succeed? If so, how many years will it take him? 95 Scene 2. Streets of Minneapolis, Time—Midnight. While pacing the streets, brooding over the defeat of the M. H. S. team; Hammer falls in with his father's ghost, who while treating him to a glass of beer in a neighboring saloon, informs him that his father was murdered by Edward Ham mer, and that he wishes young Hammer to revenge his father’s death. Will Hammer be successful? ACT II Scene 1. Looker Room M, H. S. Hammer is brought before Jonathan Hammer, Lord Water Carrier, and solemnly declared sub-center on the seventh eleven, thus our expectations aroused in act I are fully realized and the manner of computing and deducting interest in the French decimal system explained to us. Scene 2. History Class. By the action of the young Prince in this scene we mistrust that he is crazy. If so, is it the effect of too much his tory or too much foot ball, or is it his natural way of acting? We look forward expectantly to the next scene to see what cause these effects will produce. Scene 3. Hammer's boarding place. In this scene Hammer talks. It is thrown in to d—n the course of events, his father’s ghost, his father’s murderer, himself and things in general. In this wTay the author seeks to create excitement. ACT III Scene 1. Palace of Lord Water Carrier. We here learn, what we always knew, that Hammer and Edwarda Hammer are much attached to each other. Will they one day be united and become one? Scene 2. Camp Randall. This is the climax of the play. During the hotly contested foot ball game between M. H. S. and the team on which Edward Hammer, murderer, plays center, the young prince charges down the field at the head of his men, falls upon his antagonist and beats out his brains with a nose guard. Thus at one blow killing Edward Hammer, revenging his father’s death and illustrating the law of dramatic contact. Scene 3. Forest Hill Cemetery. TheGramaticPersony are consigned to the grave, by Eddie and Jacky Hammer, grave diggers after which they fall upon each other with their spades and hammer each other to pieces. So perishes the race of Hammer. 96 Brawny his muscle as the blacksmith’s arm, Rolling his gait, in the true foot ball style, Even his grin doth carry great alarm Into the hearts of those who see him smile, This is our Charles, the foot ball teams fond pride. Envious tongues may oft seek to deride, Never will those who know him well revile. Sunny his locks as Sicily’s happy isle, Tender his heart, as are his muscles fine, Ever a terror when he bucks the line, Innocent his heart of sin or guilt. Note well his figure here, a true design. 97 Th? Pros and Cons for ft Senior Picnic. “Can we have a picnic?” “Oh? But Char ley 1L eat so.” “Don’t worry, we will have enough. Forbes will turn the Cronk for the ice cream and Zura put Up ham.”“ What else will do?” “Will lard?” “Denuo.” The Coll man will furnish the fuel and the Cook will fry the Rice. Best of all. we have an Eel,—eh? Perchance an Abbott will go and pray ’o keep off the rain. We can’t play whist, for that is too pro-Pfund a game and besides we have no aces, only one Kin x. We are very Hardy and can Ford the streams. Everythin g we do is Well-ton. Dan yells so we will have a Larkin’ tii. e with the V-Roman candles. “Horrors! How can we go? T e woods Emit Lyons!” Frank. Young Frank was a promising lad, Such an innocent, visage he had, And the girls on the board all loved him so, That they christened him the Mick-a-dough. % CLASS BREAKS. Darling (in History)—“They wTere, going to execute Am.e Hutchinson and then send her to England.” Fair one (translating German)—,,(£ tf(t er bas dc fcnte Stub?)1' “He held his sixteenth child.” Mr. Link (in Geometry)—“Let AB and AC be the two legs of a triangle, each of wdiich is a foot. ” 98 MINUTES WITH J5he TEACHERS. 9 Prof. Hutchison’s 11:3() Physics division. From 11:30 to 11 ;40 the class holds a ten minute “rough, house.” A minute later the Professor’s step is heard on the stairs and, as he enters the class room, the attention of every pupil is riveted upon his text-book regardless of the fact that this guide to knowledge is resting in an inverted position. The announcement of a test for the following day is made and the class groans, After discussing the decomposition of forces and the frequent occurence of cerebral vacuum, the professor turns to the problems. “Miss Blank, please put the’steenth on the board.” Miss Blank (in a distressed manner): “Why Prof. Hutchison, that was just the one I didn’t just exactly understand.” Prof, (in a stern voice): “Is there any one in this class who can put the ’steenth problem on the board?” Amid an ominous silence a little boy in the back seat shuts his eyes and raises his list and proceeds to the board to maltreat it with unknown algebraical signs until his patron saint, the electric bell, releases him from misery. Miss Stock’s 9:00 o’clock German class. At 9:15 the chosen victims arrive, panting from their recent climb up that modern “Jacob’s ladder,” the studio stairs. After the door is closed, the teacher, speaking in the unknown tongue, inquires the date from the boy in the front seat. Nothing daunted, he replies glibly with a Choctaw accent that the German language has two genders, the singular and the plural. This danger being safely over, a girl is called on whose grandfather came from the Fatherland. Conscious of this glorious ancestral backing, she rises and 99 tells us in a sweet voice how the little bird looks in at the window and rustles with his leaves. To avoid damage to the furniture the pupils are then ordered to direct their attention to the black-board. Thursday, 9:00. Miss McGovern’s room. Class enters and chats for five minutes. Enter Miss McGovern. Roll call. “Now Mr.-a-Mr.-a-Mr.—a-over there, please-willyou please tell me the inner meaning of these words: ‘Welcome Horatio, welcome good Marcellus’.” Mr. Blank -stabbing wildly-“why-a, it means that, he-we-well, that the king is going to kill Hamlet.” “Thank you, very good Mr. Blank, very good. Now I wish all of you might do as wel . I am sure Mr. Blank has spent much time and thought ou this subject. I do not wish to be personal, but—” Miss Moseley’s room. Mr. Link: “Now Miss Blank-Why is this line perpendicu lar to the other?” Miss Blank-:“It’s at right angles to i in the same plane. ” “How do weknow it’s in the same plane? ’ “This is plane geometry.” “Oh, that’s plain too.” Clas-groans. “Mr. Breitenstein, please explain proposition XII. ’ Mr. Breitenstein: “Well this line, AB, is perpen—no is no perpendicular to AD, therefore F is outside of—no inside o MS and, by multiplyin’ this by the other and subtractin’ MS from AD we have HB. This is a acute angle equal with one right angle, wich equals BC, wich equals F, wich equals AD, therefore—but the bell rings. Miss Moseley’s class. Class enters reverently and sits down. Girls all sa-s-s-:i -a-a-ay-y it is so-o-o-o k-k-k-ko-o-o-ld!” Some one then shuts the window. Then a young man in one corner of the room rises in his dignity and tells us that “Ascanius, covered 100 with white spots, rides on a horse, crowned with the green laurel, which prances and champs its bit.” Then we all wonder if Ascanius had the small pox and what a green laurel that prances and champs looks like. This difficulty surmounted, another being of the genus boy arises, and quietly informs us that ‘‘Dido wanted to trow him in de water wit a piece meal, having heard de trets of a brudder.” And so he plays his part. Then, after four separate and distinct members have respectively called ally' al'ly, and discourse' dis'-course, we are treated to a five-minute lecture on “How not to laugh in class” and—but our time is up. 101 A Dime Novel for Nine Cents. by CERT HA M. BLAY,—AUTHOR OF THE “BUSTED WEDDING RING It was a bitter cold evening as Donald Gregory Humphrey trod the diamond snow beneath his patent leather pump He was pensively thinking of the pri nia donna with whom b« had been infatuated the night before at Fuller Opera House He heard the rustle of a silk skirt and the oder of vera violei perfume, which caused him to start and lifting his steel gra eyes, what met his glance but the actress herself, a bloch away! - His brain was confused with excited thunderbolts ot thought. “Ah! That green plush automobile coat. Thai charming poodle dog! Those auburn locks tossed by tin-bellowing wind! How like flames of fire they wave about her oval face!” Humphrey’s heart beats fast and loud. Its echo sounds on Yankee hill. Nearer and nearer with her Grecian band she glides to the spot where Humphrey stands transfixed .Alas! He has not been introduced to her, how can he speak with words of love and ardor? A brilliant thought. He expresses it delicately. “Pardon, ma chere young lady, but I fear your nasal protuberance has congealed.” A cry, and in his arms she swoons. It was a mad delusion to captivate her, but it succeeded. One kiss upon her ashen brow and those lashes sweeping her pink shelled ear raise. In a voice so like the tinkling of sleigh bells that Humphrey turns to see whether “Solid Comfort” is near,, she cries, “What can I do to repay you? I can find no words to express”— Just then an agent turns the corner. “Can’t find words to express yourself madam? Allow me to sell you one of my “Know it all” dictionaries. You can buy it on the installment plan. I wouldn’t trust this here young man. He hasn’t paid my wife’s last year’s washing bill yet.” “Hush,” cries Humphrey, who quickly silences him by placing his 102 massive foot upon his chest. “Dearest Penelope Constance, let us elope.” “Oh! Humphrey, my dew dropish-honey where?” “In this cold weather we will be the least expected to embark to the North Pole. I have a gas stove in my pocket, which we will lake.” They are both stricken with terror to see the flash of steel and turning they see the demon-like eyes of Lord Marmaduke Muchmoney—the fiance of Penelope. In a frog-like, fire-whistle voice he screeches, “II ne marche pas (This does not go), that you, my gay deceiver, should be planning an elopement with another.” Penelope cries, “I had no reminder of you to-day. Your usual bunch of orchids did not come. It is vei'3r natural that I forgot your existence. Avaunt and quit my sight!” Much-money raises his dagger in anger to pierce Humphrey’s heart, but he is foiled again. Penelope has given her darling a hair pin—a woman’s inevitable weapon. It pierces Lord Muchmoney’s shield and staggering he falls pinned to the ground. Humphrey dons the dead villain’s badges of honor and stands erect—the incarnation of beauty and valor. To complete the scene, Penelope pulls a patent string and the auburn tresses fall over her lover’s shoulder. 103 WOMAN’S CLUB. At the meeting of the Woman’s Club last Tuesday night, the following officers were elected President........................................May Holt Vice President..................................Rose Gratz Secretary and Treasurer.................Josephine Proudfit Committees were appointed as follows On mice, men and other nuisances;-Zella Bagley Luella Lillesand Edith Swenson On woman’s rights;-Helen Grove Edna Hill Marjorie Johnson To promote the abolishment of marriage, Florence VanEtta Edna Swenson Hat Brewster Fannie Hobbins The following papers were read;- “Abstruse Mathematics”...................Marion Jones “How to avoi Men”.......................Cora Norsman “Painting as an Art”........................Grace Gapen “The Norman Conquest”............................Hattie Roesch “The Whenness of the Which”......................Bertha Taylor “How to keep him when you get him”..............Eleanor Smith Essay on “Seriousness”...........................Bessie Payton “Multiplicity of Sighs”...........................Olive Lawson “Celebration of Matrimony by Ma(i)l(e)”...Jennie Vernon 105 Choir Invisible. “Fair shines the Moon” and “Seymour” and “Echo” go out “Under the Blue” Heavens to enjoy the “Fairy Moonlight,” “Far down in yonder Vale” there stands a “Linden Tree”, through whose branches they hear the “Song of the Zephyr,” “Sweet and Low.” Enchanted by the “Eventide,” “Seymour” exclaims “Hence, now away,” Begone dull care” and seating himself, begins to sing: A zephyr, soft zephyr, A zephyr so sweet, Came in at my window And fanned my cheek.” A heifer came and fanned your feet,” repeated Echo, whose hearing was somewhat defective, Why! what a vulgar song!” Just then some Italians, who lately emigrated to America appeared and one of them asked “Seymour” if he knew some place where he could get “Work, for the night is coming” he said, And we have no place to sleep.” They were directed to a Kentucky Home” oil the Swanee River” not far away, and departed. With the dying footfalls of the Wanderers’ Song” came again to Seymour” and he began: Come, come away, our daily toil isoe’r”—but was interrupted by Echo” Bum, bum away indeed! I see your songs are quite in keeping with your deportment at school.” Seymour would have answered, but a gruff voice sounded near them A word and you die.” Looking up, the startled lad reccog-nized the Italian, Hymn” who had spoken to them before. Behind him stood six or seven masked figures whose 106 gleaming eyeballs left no doubt as to their bloody intentions. Resolved to sell their lives as dearly as possible, the companions drew swords and waited for the deadly combat. Tis six o’clock on a bright March morning and the Sun smiles in beauty oe’r mountain and river.” Surely never was there a more peaceful hour. But List, the trumpet’s thrilling sound” and the tread of many feet. Tis the March of the men of Harleck” hurrying Forth to the Battle” and help has come at last and a prayer of Praise and Thanksgiving” is poured forth by two thankful hearts. A Lament. Our school is nearly o’er, And I’m in deadly fear, For finals are most here And finals make me sore. I dread them more and more. My heart is bare of cheer. Our school is nearly o’er But I’m in deadly fear. I thought my work a bore And held my play more dear But finals loom up near, 1 wish I’d studied more. Our school is nearly o’er. 107 When the Freshman comes to School. Like a dative, an indirect object, With a plain geometrical grin, And his hands all the time at six-thirty, In September he’s ushered in. The Sophs take him for a divisor, And, inverted, he hangs in the air, Blows, proceeding in multiplication, Show result by the gray in his hair. The Juniors all gaze at this mortal With his ablative absolute smile, Then advise lie use pi for circumference, And dwell on the square for a while. The Senior’s wise, scan his length sadly And pronounce his physique incomplete; Are disturbed as to whether he’ll meter With trochaic or iambic feet. So the Freshie is put through inspection, And when he has passed down the line, He studies with wrath at his Latin, And straightway begins to decline. 108 Extracts from a Trc$bmaiT$ Diary. Mon. Sep 10 — Came to skool toda. It is a big place. Pro-feser Hucheson hasnt no clause. I seen the techers two. They are a grate lot: A nice da. Sept. 20—I am quite a populer man hear now. I wuz on-ered by being apointed a reporter for the News. It is a very important plase. Parr regan called me a Fresh-man and spoke too me. It is a grate faver. A nice da. Oct. 10. Was asked two get out for the footbal teem toda. Think I shall. I am verry strong and way 92 pounds. I will pla left takel. I passed anote and whispered once. I am getting to bee a grate sport. A nice da. Nov. 1—Hi School is a wicked plase. I saw too boys smoke a pipe. One said, darn.” Harrie Fowler Dewitt Pool wer not in Mis Okleys room toda. I think they are sic Edward J. Hammer spoke two me, I shall get a new hat (Goak). A nice da. Nov. 13—Mr. Willie Hop sed he flunked.” What duz flunked” mene? Is it a combinashun of flew and punk? Am nine yers old toda. Dec. 18—Was called up. It was a grate ordeel. But I sassed Prof. He sed Howaboutthatexcusehaveyougotit-yet?” I sed No sir!” And he sed, Wellyoumustseeabout-itthatmaydo. So I went. Wasn’t I brave? Jan. 7—School began again toda. Xmas vacayshun is over. I got a doll and sum tin soldiers, with a wax hed. They are very pretty and has reel hare. Jan. 29—Mis Tullis dosent no mutch. She sed I better lern too spel. She dont no good spelling when she seez it. Whats the matter with mi spelling. I am lerning how to flunk. A nice day. 109 Feb. 19—I have becum a member of the litery sosiety. It is a grate graft I am leaning to use slang now the boys call me sport I am going to be valedictorian I think. It rained. March 1—This munth came in like a lion and will go out like a lamm I suppose. I have ritten a vers for the Ticober-on, and I will rite it hear. The little boy stood in the school, And the wether in the mane room that da was cool. So he sed, I’ll just get a rule And tell Prof he is a grate big phool. I am going to bee a author. Mar. 13—I met the prezident of the Junior class toda. He is a verry modest little boy. When I first saw him I thot he wuz a freshman. He out to bee. (I am going too the Junier partie, I am going to take Miss Cravath). April 9—I forgot my neckty and wach yesterda and caut cold. So I have staid at home toda. I red Rollo in Paris” he is a nice boy. I am improving my mind. May 1—We danzed around the Maypole toda. John Dan-iells wuz the pole. I waved my hankerchief at Luella Lille-sand toda and she waved back. I am afraid shee is a croquette. I am getting populer with the Junier girls. The fellers is gelus of me. May 27—School is nerly over and I wrote this pome. Soon I ’ll leave this bore, An be a little freshman no more, I’ll lern to be a sport and Smoke an be a sofmore. 110 A Senior’s Introduction to Theme. The infinitesimal parasite so incontroverterably amalgamated with co-existing heterogeneous and cartilageneous apparent impossibilities, is, taking such an assumption mounting atom by atom, molecule by molecule, infinity by infinity, from desulphuration to the impenetrability, as it may be said, could be, tho’ I make a small deterioration here, (for those unhappily associated can wondrously endure) because it is hard to make an incontrovertible hieroinuenon of inarticulate incarceration while unrapturously cogitating on the little planetical ichthyodorulite and the even smaller ich-thyophthalmitewe, may well conclude to lie dormant and not insistently co-operate in the dishonest collaboration of kindred cohabitants toward the inevitable demise. With these few words as introduction I discuss the bibliomaniacal de-crustations following. There was a youpg fellow named “Chan,” Who was a peculiar young man, For a mouse hid away In his whiskers one day And they frightened it out with a fan. Ill AN ANCIENT FRAGMENT —found under the High School steps, apparently a description of a class meeting long ago. It begins rather abruptly — “Whereupon by the command of the Great Hearted One whoruleth over the tribe, did the scribe read the mighty doings of the former council, many moons before, even to the full thereof. Then did one rise up in his glory even as a frog, jumping from a leaf, so rose Cronk the beautiful, and spake fair words. “Verily, chiefs, great is the might of our tribe, and great is the worth of our chief, but of a truth has he ruled full long and change is even good for men and so L would move that another from our number be made chief.” Thus spake he and all the council, even of mighty ones wondered. Then rose another one slowly even as rises the camel from the sands and thus spake he: “The name of a mighty one have I to speak, even of one who has long stood among you, like the elephant among the wild beasts of the jungle, a mighty hero in brain and well skilled in talking with his mouth, and fair as the morning sun in the beauty of his countenance, such is he, the most powerful chief, whom I now speak for with my mouth, and is most wonderful Denu. ” Thus spake he and there was much shouting and all did make a great noise with their hands. Then arose yet other mighty chiefs, speaking wise words with their mouths, even Ross, the tall man, towering amidst the council like the cornstalk swaying in the wind, and Daniells, he of the swift moving pins, and Vroman and Hinrichs, and many another one mighty in the council. But a great contention arose among the council whom to choose for the wise one, leader of the mighty tribe, for indeed some did say Denu, and others Abbott and yet others Upham, and the noise thereof was like the soui d of pigs in the stock yards. Then did each member of the tribe scratch 112 the name of him they would have chief upon a fragment and the name of Denu was scratched thereon by the most of the tribe and so was he proclaimed chief. Then was there much rage in the hearts of many. But Denu of the mighty jaw and the black hair, did contend greatly with them and at last were they defeated. Then was the scribe even again chos— tlere the inscription becomes illegible, but we may understand the Ancients well from this fragment. I The Difficulties of the Modern Classicals. Non possum translatare my Cicero; Constructiones hardissimae sunt; Latina est beautiful, existimo, To iinpress that upon you volunt. 113 Favorite Dishes of M. H. S. ns Thwaites, F.................................Angels’ Food Holm, W....................................Mellin’s Food Willet, W............................................Hasty Pudding Davis. B........................................Shortening Merrill, L............................................Plum Pudding Bartlett.............................................Pears Miss Murphy........................................Mustard News................................Anything that’s stale. Miss Anthony.........................Crabs Frogs’ Legs Pic’s Ponies..........................................Some Oats Stack.................................................Some Hay Link.................................................. Pie Adam’s...............................................Apple Kayser.............................................Lobster Chamberlain.......................................Anti-Fat John................................................Celery 114 VALE! The High School senior girls All hate to say “Good bye;” It causes tears to ooze And tears neT beautify. In pompadour they wear Their pretty shining hair. When asked the reason why, They sweetly, sadly sigh And say with painful air, “No partings can we bear.” 115 THE OFFICE. There’s a cavernous cave, Where the bones of dead corpses Lie strewn in the inky-black darkness Below. And we hear with our ears The wails of the victims, Who perished some thousands of ages Ago. For there reigns in that cave A demoniacal demon, With a bellowing roar and a horrible LdL igh, And he lives upon green Little boys and tough seniors, So, Freshie, look out for the office and Prof. 116 Signs of the Times. Following are some of the signs one may expect to see around the Capitol square fifteen years from now:— Rolf Anderson, Barber Hairdresser. Gas Works, W. Holm, director. Fred. Thwaites, Wholesale Liquor dealer. Owen, “The PiPE-fitter. ” Clarence, “The Pop-corn King. ” Daniells, Machinery, Running-gear etc. Records broken while you wait. Madison Academy, C. Breitenstein, principal. Spellin’, Writin’ and Readin’ a specialty. C. Abbott Co., Music Emporium. The Madison Book Store, Note Paper a specialty, Zilla Bagley. G. De Lacy, Divorce Lawyer. Green Grocer, Warren Bates. Millinery, Mildred Gapen 117 CALLED VP The last few chords and noise of feet, And after that no sound; In this discussion, may there be no heat, When to me it comes round. For, though my crime in his august eyes May heinous be, I hope to meet his accusation, when I rise To make my desperate plea. Three twenty, then four o’clock, And one clear call for me; I watch the others onward flock, Would that I were free! But such a flood, as rushing, onward goes. Like the many pages of a pondrous tome. When that which in the morning school- ward roves, Returns again home. The Stabber. (With apologies to Macaulay ar.d Mother Goose.) There was a man in our town, And he was wondrous wise. He stepped into a history class And opened wide his eyes. And then his mouth flew open wide And these the words he spake: “To every man upon this earth, Death cometh soon or late. And how can man die better, Than facing fearful odds; For the ashes of his fathers And the altars of his gods.” And then he struck out bravely, And stabbed with might and main, And there upon that school-room floor, John Hammer flunked again. 118 ALUMNI REMINISCENCES. nnn e Literary Society a.t d “fife Three Musketeers The Madison High School Literary Society were grouped about the main entrance of that imposing structure known as the Madison High School. The moon, or in may have been the electric light, shed a soft radience over the scene, while the Perris Comedians’ Band tilled the air with heavenly harmonies. “The question before the house, ” said the president, “is whether we ought to continue our improving discourse here or march to the censor’s house and annihilate the censor for not bringing the key.” The V. P. rose to his feet. ‘The censor’s home is many a weary mile away; the Fuller Opera House is near at hand. Shall we tire ourselves out for the mere gratification of seeing a censor die or shall we seek the theater and, from the gallery, cast down peanuts at the Perris Comedians?” “But,” the secretary objected, “Miss McGovern only wants us to see good plays. Therefore if this play is not one calculated to make me better and nobler I refuse to go.” “The play’” argued the treasurer, “is the ‘Three Musketeers. ’ The‘Three Musketeers’is a classic. Miss McGovern wants us to see classics. Therefore we should see the ‘Three Musketeers’ Q. E. D. Gentlemen, I move we adjourn to the gallery of the Fuller Opera House.” And that is how the Madison High School Literary Society spent the evening under the elevating influence of the classic drama and though the writer hereof remembers little of 119 what happened nor knows whether it was D’Artagan or Richelieu who did the “Tramp Specialty” at the end of the third act, yet he is confident that the play was a masterpiece and that it did the society an untold good. Horatio G. Winslow, ’00. nnn N A Memory. Some time in the fall of my senior year, the time when all football players are heroes, the rage for black-eyes began. One morning a third grader entered the school room, his right eye decorated with a great black and blue circle. It was truly artistic for it shaded from deepest lamp-black in the corner out to a border of pale blue tinged with red. All the girls held up their hands in admiration and said “Oh! how adorable!” The following day another hero’appeared with an equally becoming but not nearly so perfect and artistic black-eye. The girls had not realized before how truly handsome and fascinating he was. It will seem strange when I say that there were no less than five boys with black -hued orbs in the school within less than two weeks. Whether, learning of the feminine weakness for black-eyes, they deliberately sallied forth and bumped up against a tree, or were exceedingly touchy and managed to pick a tight with whomsoever they came in contact. 1 can not tell, for I never heard. It seems very improbable that it could have happened that so many received the same sort of injuries in practicing foot hall. But be that as it may, we think it certain the boys minus black eyes were not in the good graces of the fair sex. One 120 boy in particular thought long and hard upon this problem. He could think of nothing, talk of nothing else but black-eyes. He was as bad as the girls. One day in Physics Laboratory, two of the girls stilted the fact that they wanted black-eyes. The boy rose to the occasion. Since he was too gallant to dispatch the business in the earnest and most effectual way and knew that if he did he would be known as “Too mean and horrid for any thing,” he detached from some of the Physics apparatus a lovely cork—applied a match—rubbed the burned cork upon the fair faces and snow white lids of the maidens and lo! they were resplendent with black-eyes. To be sure they very much resembled smut spots. Now the sad part of my tale is yet to come. When the period was over, the girls tried vainly to wash off the black and so far succeeded as to give a very dirty appearance to the faces. The ruler who presides over the Physics department discovered one of his corks utterly ruined and immediately lighted upon the guilty boy. Forthwith he was “called up” and made to buy a new cork. I think that the girls should have helped pay for it. The black-eyes gradually faded and were heard of no more and the girls went back to their old loves. Barbara Curtis, ’00. nnn The Reminiscence of am “Eighty-Oner” “The beginning is half of the whole.” The class of ’81 lived in Puritan days as compared with the present. Class banquets, class parties and “rushing” were entirely unknown, the only enterteinment during the four years being the 121 graduation exercises at the close of the high school course. The class of 1901 has ninety graduates, while that of 81 numbered but nineteen,—thirteen students in the regular course, one boy and twelve girls, and six certificate students. The class being small, all the regulars were expected to take part in the commencement program. Weeks before the eventful day arrived, excitement and anticipation ran high. Zealous efforts were put forth, books were devoured, papers and magazines that had been stored away [for years in dark cobwebby corners of the garret, were ransacked for “hints” and “thoughts” upon the problem to be discussed in that wonderful oration. In order to cultivate strength and clearness of voice and speech, excursions of two or three students to the woods and on the water were a common occurrence. Here orations and essays were rehearsed at a distance of about one hundred feet, so that on the final day the large audience might hear every word and thus be made wiser by the thoughts so freely bestowed. Time has softened the shadows of the past, with its trials and vexations, leaving only the memory of the sport and sunshine of the old High School. Geometry seemed to be the bugbear in those days, as only two were able to pass the first final examination. This final examination, the nightmare of the High School youth, which followed the completion of each study, no matter how good the student, has happily been abolished. A standing in speL ling was as important as a standing in Latin. Three students had to be re-examined in spelling three or four times before they could reach the seventy mark required to graduate with the class. The dear old Mexican General, who is still “The skeleton in the closet,” was an endless source of amusement. At uncli time he was made the receptacle for all superfluous 122 lunch, and the poor fellow had to smoke chalk and lead pencils instead of the delicious(?) cigarette of today.. Revenge on the teachers was manifested through him, he being placed in either a threatening or loving attitude as the case demanded. Does he still lake the students’ part? At that time Mr. Samuel Shaw was superintendent and Mr. Pond, principal. Mrs. Fay, nee’ Marion V. Dodge, Mrs. Main, nee' Delia Gilman, deceased; Miss Helen Street, Miss Mary Hill, Miss Theresa Favill, Miss Kate Dewey, Miss Al-lie Stewart, Mr. Darwin Smith and Mr. Solomon Dalberg were among the teachers. The years have rolled on and 1901 graduates the first child of a Madison High School Alumnus. Death too has done his work, taking our only boy, Robert Hinrichs, and two girls, Jessie Partridge and Lizzie McMil-len. Six of the class live in Madison and the remainder are scattered in different places. Lucie I. Hekfukth Harrison. Class Motto. 123 Our Hours, 6:00 a. m.—John gets up. 7:00 a. M.—Benjie is heard to snore. 7:45 a. M.—Benjie gets up. 8:00 a. M.—John rings the bell. 8:03 a. m.—Benjie arrives. We sing, piano plays and the dead turn in their graves to the tune of “Old Hundred.” 8:05 a. m.—“Shorty” Butter “sprechen Sies” German. 8:45 a. m.—Heyl enters the Office. 9:25 a. M.—The Office is relieved of Heyl. 10:05 a. m.—Main room boys keep faith with the Professor. 10:45 A. M. —Jaws and grocery clerks are overworked. 11:00 a. m.—We pass notes and note what is passing. 11:40 a. m.—Miss Murphy’s History class recites upon Irish affairs. 12:20 p. m.— We abuse the clock. 1:0 0 to 2:00 p. M.—Good work is accomplished. 3:00 p. m.—Cook “gets out” for the mile. 4:00 p. m.—Cook finishes with a fine sprint and goes in. 5:00 P. m.—John gives his broom a rest. 6:00 p. m.—We eat. 7:09 p. m.—We “buck.” 8:00 p.m.-—The Professor marks examination papers and “says things.” 9:00 p. m.—Worn out with loss of sleep, Benjie goes to bed. 10:00 p. m.—We follow. 11:00 p. m.—A cat is heard to howl on the back yard fence-boot-jack accompaniment. 12:00 p. m.—Braley sees a ghost—ghost sees Braley—exit ghost. 124 1:00 a. m.—Benjie turns in his sleep. 2:00 a. m.—Concert over, the cat picks her way between boot-jacks to her residence in Rat Alley. 3:00 a. M.—Benjie snores and the clock strikes three. 4:00 a.m.—Benjie’s alarm clock goes off—clock was misnamed. 5:00 A. M.—Sun rises. 0:00 A. M.—So does John. When Wisdom from her mansion bright, Sent forth her sons and daughters fair, She bought twelve yards of satin white, And clothed them all in beauty rare. The monkey has his hairy hide: The farmer has his overalls; The jester had a jacket pied, And cap of bells-in ancient halls. But all of these were far excelled— A shirt-waist graced each blooming son; And thus, with wisdom, was upheld, The majesty of 1901. Why is it that when Prof, calls us up it usually takes us doivn a peg, and when he fires us it cools our ardor, can you tell me? ? ? 125 A Collective Sweetheart. The sailor loves the deep blue sea That sinks and swells and swirls-The lawyer loves his legal fee, But I - I love the Girls. The workman loves the busy shops Where shafting: spins and whirls-The farmer loves his growing crops, But I - I love the Girls. The poet loves the rippling brook That plays and sings and purls-The bookworm loves his well worn book, But I - I love the Girls. The smoker loves the soothing cloud That from his pipe bowl curls-The actor loves the cheering crowd, But I - I love the Girls. envoi. Now whether ’mongst the heavenly host Stern Fate my lone soul liurls-Or in the other place I roast, I still shall love the Girls. 126 Now as we gladly lay our pens aside, And look our little booklet o’er with pride, We fondly hope ’twill please you—if it fail, We have one grain of comfort, we have tried. Our little effort to its fate we send, And if there be aught in it to offend, Remember that it all is meant in fun, And take it thus, from title to EflD 127 CHE OUR ADVERTISERS. Students of the Madison High School, and all readers of this Annual will confer an everlasting favor upon us, themselves and our advertisers by patronizing those merchants who have patronized us. Were it not for our advertisers, this Annual either could not have been published, or would have been inferior to what it now is. We would have liked to represent more departments of business in our advertising pages, but it was impossible, partly on account of lack of space and partly for the following reason, to wit: A great many doctors called on us and wanted space, but as a physician’s ad might necessitate those of two or three undertakers, and besides, as the aforesaid gentlemen dealing in c rporibw” might want us to take our bills in trade, we thought it better to leave them out. Still we have a goodly array of advertisng matter, from which you can certainly pick out choice bargains for years to come. 128 THE BEST $3.50 SHOE MADE For the different Styles look iiv the window at A. E. Austin $ Co. 13 S. Pinckeny St. A mean proportional—One that can’t be solved. Moseley’s Bookstores 19 S. Pinckney------State and Oilman Everything in the line of Text Books, Note Books, Drawing Supplies, Athletic Goods, Photographic Sundries, Etc. When arranging for Just a little lunch A spread A dinner or A banquet Visit Oppel’s Fancy Grocery Fr. Kieinpell (in German class)—“What did the soldier look for first?” Herr Owen—“He locked first for his head.” WA R N E R Pianos- Established 1875. Always W. W. WARNER “27” Mr. X. (in Physical Geography)—“A volcano is a hole in the ground with saliva running out of it.” Always Popular with “She Boys! Why? Because we make a specialty of 75he Needs of Young Men in CLOTHING and SHOES. And for this reason are nearly always able to furnish just what they want. ALFORD BROS. STEAM LAUNDRY 115 N. CARROLL ST., MADISON, WIS. UP-TOWN OFFICE, VILAS BLOCK The Maiden (gazing wistfully at Sanders at the dance)— “Will(he) Hop?” A NEW OVAL SCHUBERT'S STUDIO 19 W. MAIN. 7 V ' KLAUBER Photographer 17 W. Main. CLOTHIER- 23 E. MAIN. Chan”(descri b ing theWhite water game)—Why the pigs would crawl under the fence and come right out in the field.” “Daddy” (suddenly)—“Why they were the best ‘rooters’ we had High School Athletes, ---Attention!---- We carry the largest Stock of Athletic Goods in the City. We invite you to call and examine our stock. Rush orders a specialty. YOU KNOW THE PLACE The CO-OP Fr. Kleinpell (in German class)—“Herr B—, decline‘Bier’” Herr B— “I can’t.” PALACE MUSIC HOUSE o WISCONSIN 6 e Place to Buy Whn.t You Want in e Music Line The most complete stock of all kinds of musical instruments in the country to select from. Pianos, Guitars, Mandolins, Banjos, etc.—Brandt, Martin, Bohman, Nelson, Monona and many other well known makes. The latest hits in sheet music both vocal and instrumental Instruction books for all kinds of instruments. Our prices are made to please the people. We extend a kind invitation to call and get our prices and see our goods. GR.OVES-BAILNES MUSIC CO, 27 E. Main St., Madison, Wis. When You don’t ea.t at home, you eat at Ghe PALM, of course. First-CIak-ss in every respect. 9 Open Da.y and Night. S 8. Sfiairt St. Miss Taylor (in Geometry) -“A polygon is a figure with two or more sides.” THE PLACE TO GET THE BEST GLASS OF SODA WATER IN THE CITY is at — Edwin Sumner Son’s, We use nothing but pure Fruit Flavors made from the fresh Fruit by ourselves. We have just received a large line of beautiful Japanese Fans, just the thing for this season of the year. Call and see them. And when you want anything in the Drug line, go straight to Edwin Sumner Son’s, where you will get the best at the right price. Dr. E. J. Hanan, Jhos. Olson. DENTIST. Confectionery, bruits, Uoys and See Cream. No. 3. West Main Street. fS TO. SHain St., S fiadison, IDix. Mr. Crampton—“The rivers bring salt to the sea. Then, there may also be salt mines under the ocean. But these 8. 51. Curtiss are not the most important reasons, the fish must have something to do with it, as some fish are more salty than others. 1Photographer Vitaa 53 oek. rHIS “AD” Is published to let you know about rhe College Book Store, where you can find second-hand and new text books and fountain pens. We make a specialty of SECOND-HAND BOOKS. and have a very complete stock. Our store is at 412 Staae Street. Purcell Bros. 107 State St. Fruits, Rickies, Wafers. Everything In Prof. Kehl’s dancing class meets every Tuesday evening. Private lessons to suit pupils. Finest dancing floor in the city. Hall to let to private parties. F'ine bowling alleys in connection. G6e Madison Tesv Company 30 E. Mifflin Sf. Tel. 058. Carry the most complete line of Spices, Teas and Coffees of any house in the city. We sell Crockery. Can save you money. 30 E, Mifflin St. Madison, Wis. Prof, (sternly)—“Well, how about this? What have you to say for yourself?” Wells Abbott—“My only plea is, T he Lord is merciful unto his lambs .” High-Class Groceries ■ Extensive Stock —AND— = : Large Variety ■ -= Of Everything New In Drv Goods, Carpets and Millinery □□□□□□□□□□□□ Our stock is constantly changing. New and attractive goods. Headquarters for SUITS, SKIRTS, JACKETS, and WAISTS. Select your material, leave your measure and have your suit made to order. We have a great line of Broadcloth, Sicilians, • Mohairs, Homespuns and Cheviots to select from, and we guarantee a fit. Keeley, INeckerman Kessenich. Miss Glenz (translating Caesar)—“And however small the number of cavalry they dared to advance on any number of saddle blankets.” The Menges Pharmacies 28 W. Mifflin St. 829 University Ave. We have the largest and most varied stock. We have the mostcomplete facilities for accurate prescription work. We have the most skilled and experienced pharmacists. We add to every product of our hands, the product of our brains. The Menges Pharmacies. BREITENBACH BROS. 25 S. PINCKNEY ST. MADISON. WIS. Miss Gallagher (in Geometry)—“In the same or equal circles. the more remote chord is the nearer.” A Good Line of . . . ..School Bags.. At 5 and 10 Cts. Each. Waste Paper Baskets . . . ... at All Prices. H. B. McGOWAN, Mendota Block. A. C. NIELSON PHOTOGRAPHER ie5t5gszsaszsas? hmhbhwSMt—WMBMH •� wsasasasas—a—wws asa stsgresgsaspjasa FINEST WORK IN ALL STYLES GUARANTEED AT REASONABLE PRICES. □nnnnn 23 S. PINCKNEY STREET, MADISON, WIS. A ParalleloupipeOwen” is a polyhedron whose pla(i)ne faces meet in a pipe. We Supply Everything Tha.t Makes School Life PIe sa.i t. Sweets for the Sweet. Dancing for the Merry. Refreshments for the Languid. Delicacies for Everyone. Our Bitter Sweets are Famous. Our Dancing Floor is Smooth as Glass. Our Chocolate Unequaled. Our Soda Water Delicious. Keeley’s PaJ ce of Sweets, 112 State Street. Sidney P. Rundell, Hatter and Men's Furnisher, 7 E. Main St. H. C. Geiger. O. C. Seltzer. Wisconsin Pharmacy O.t.SeJtw 4(o. Proprietors. =-= Complete Line of ------------ Druys and Druyyisls’ Sundries Perfumes and Cigar . 102 Suite Street. Cor. Carrot!. Madison. Wis. Telephone 5 71. When waiting for a Car. come in and sit down. 8(hoard TDitliamt. J5he DR. E. H. DREWS. DENTIST. No. 25 IC. Main Street. Residence Phone 629 OITice Hours, 9-12 A.M. 1.30-5 P. M. Corner SKain Street and Sfionona Jtoenu SKaditon, Wit. Why is Marjorie Johnsoi like a rusty pen-knife? Because they are both hare to shut up. Miss Oakley—'’Now invert these ratios. Mr. Ellestad. What does ‘invert’ mean?” Mr. Ellestad— Turnover.”